Memory
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Warning: contains spoilers for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
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This may never start
We could fall apart
And I'd be your memory
This was t. The end of the end. Surely he would be able to find Voldemort, kill him even, after he had found the Horcuxes and finished Dumbl.. his work. But what happened after? After, when they had time to deal with all the pain, all the death? Would he be able to continue, knowing that if he had insisted that Snape… that Malfoy… If he had done something more to stop it! Who cared about Qudditch anymore! He would have gladly missed that match if he could have found out what Malfoy had been up to then. But it wasn't even really Malfoy that he blamed. He blamed that piece of slime, the man that Dumbledore had placed all his trust in. Severus Snape.
That moment replayed in Harry's head whenever he dozed off, or didn't remember to forget it. He wished to death that he had tried harder in learning the non-spoken charms, hexes, everything. He wished he had been strong enough to cast wandless magic deliberately. He wished that He had managed to hex Snape to an oblivion outside of Harid's hut.
One thing Harry didn't understand is why Dumbledore let himself be killed. He could have easily done something, anything, to stop it. Harry had seen it before, last year, in the Ministry. Maybe it was the shock of his murderer being his trusted Severus, or maybe it had been planned that way. Harry doubted it was the latter. Why would Dumbledore let himself be killed like that? Why hadn't Harry questioned him more, demanded answers? Going into the operation, Harry had voiced his suspicions of Snape once more, yet Dumbledore, his foolish Headmaster, had objected to his views saying that he trusted Snape above all else. WHY HADN'T DUMBLEDORE SEEN PAST THE FAÇADE?
Lost your sense of fear
Feelings insincere
Can I be your memory
That was the main question running through Harry's mind. Albus Dumbledore had suspected that something was not quite right with Tom Riddle. He had seen past his charming ways, seen past it all. Why hadn't the same happened with Snape? There had to be some reason, some explanation. He would ask Hermione about it… she would have an answer.
So get back, back, back to where we lasted
Just like I imagine
I could never feel this way
So get back, back, back to the disaster
My heart's beating faster
Holding on to feel the same
If only he had the time-turner now. He wouldn't hesitate a moment in changing the way things turned out. He wasn't quite sure that he would be able to destroy Voldemort, but he had to try. Harry had always thought that Dumbledore put just a little to much faith in him, that he would find the right answer in time, that he would be strong enough.
The truth was, Harry didn't feel much of anything right now. Least of all strong.
Oh he knew that he was have to find the other Horcruxes, and figure out who R.A.B was, and all of that eventually. But he wasn't sure whether he really would be able to. In the past he had always had the thought that Dumbledore was there, so nothing bad could possibly happen. But now that comfort was gone. He was on his own.
This may never start
I'll tear us apart
Can I be your enemy
Snape would be facing a completely different Harry than the one he had last seen. Harry promised himself that he would, if nothing else, avenge the headmaster. He might even go through the rest of the Prince's book, and use some against him … No. That was not the right thing to do. He would have to immerse himself in books and theories and invent some of his own. Snape would not be expecting that. He would pay. Oh yes. He would pay. Dumbledore trusted in him, Harry, and he would not let him down.
Losing half a year
Waiting for you here
I'd be your anything
Harry would bid his time and figure out exactly what he needed before recklessly setting off. His recklessness had caused too much pain in the past, and he was NOT willing to risk Ron and Hermione' lives on it. If he had been working alone, he would already be gone. But now, now he needed to put thought into it. He would not be able to survive through anything else if anything happened to either one of them.
Snape was he trusted Half-Blood Prince that had helped him pass potions. Why hadn't he seen it? I was obviously Snape, he was the potions master. But Harry had been hoping against hope that it was someone good, someone trusted.
The end result was that Dumbledore had entrusted this knowledge with Harry, knowing he could trust him to do what he wanted.
Harry was not about to let him down. He was, after all, Dumbledore's man, through and through.
Can I be your memory?
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The song used is Memory by Sugarcult.
RIP Albus Dumbledore - Headmaster of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizadry