Chapter 23
Elizabeth legs wouldn't move. It felt like she was frozen to the ground. Her eyes must be playing tricks on her. Lucky did not just walk into the building that once housed her rapist's photography studio. This could not be where the photo shoot was to take place. It just couldn't be.
Lucky stuck his head out the door. "Why'd you stop?"
Maybe he didn't know where we were, she thought. "Lucky, do you know what building this is?"
"Yeah, it's where Carly wants to do the shoot." He came out and took her hand. "Come on, you need to get ready."
She couldn't believe it. Lucky didn't know or didn't seem to care. "I don't think I can do this?"
"What do you mean? Of course you can. You're just nervous, but you don't need to be. You're going to be great." He gave her a small pull. She went along not really putting up too much resistance. It was only a building. It couldn't hurt her. She didn't have to be afraid.
It was the same. Everything looked exactly the same. Was that because it really was the same or was she just imaging it? She'd never wanted to come back here again, so what was she doing here? The reason was standing in front of her oblivious to her anxiety.
He directed her to the makeup room and introduced her to Mercedes and Erica. They were going to do her hair and makeup. It seemed to take hours for them to do whatever they needed to do. They pulled and poked and brushed and spritzed and blow-dried. To Elizabeth it was torture. Her fingers itched to draw, but she couldn't move.
When Mercedes and Erica were done, they turned her around to admire their work. Elizabeth felt horrible as she looked at their expectant faces. They wanted her to gush about what a great job they had done, but she couldn't. She hated it. Her face was caked with makeup. It felt stiff. She was afraid to move a muscle in case the foundation cracked and ruined all of their work. She couldn't touch her hair for fear it would fall apart. She was so uncomfortable and it was only the beginning. Wardrobe was next.
When Erica showed her to wardrobe, Elizabeth was hit with another surprise. The only thing hanging on the rack was a red dress. It looked eerily like the dress she had worn many years ago. A dress she had not quite been able to forget. She stopped Erica from leaving and asked her to get Lucky for her.
Lucky found her in the same spot minutes later. "Wow, Elizabeth. You look great," he said unaware of her rigid posture.
"Lucky, I don't want to wear that dress for the photo shoot," she said quietly. "Can we find something else for me to wear?"
He took her hands, "It's only a dress. It won't hurt you. I think you look great in red. You're going to blow them all away with your beauty."
"But can't we get another colour?"
He shook his head. "No, it's been decided that Gia will wear black in her ads and you will wear red. Besides, It's time you stopped letting the past affect you." He glanced at his watch. "Come on, you need to be ready in ten minutes, so get dressed."
Before Elizabeth could argue, he was gone. How could he be so uncaring? How could he not take her feeling into consideration? My God, she was doing all of this for him, and he didn't care that she was unhappy. What am I doing here? Why am I doing this? I love Lucky, she thought. I want to make him happy. She walked over to the dress and felt the fabric. It was beautiful. She'd been wrong. Expect for the colour, it wasn't anything like her old dress. She took a deep breath. It wouldn't be that hard, she thought. It's only going to be for a few hours. She could do this.
Memories engulfed her as she stepped into the dress and pulled it up. She remembered how excited she'd been when Lucky had invited her to the Valentine's Dance, how she had stood in front of her mirror admiring herself and wondering if Lucky would think she was beautiful. She remembered the shock and dismay she'd felt when she'd walked into the decorated gymnasium to see Lucky dancing with her sister. She had run from the room in tears.
They were only memories, she said to herself. They could only hurt if she let them. She finished dressing and made her way to the set. She saw Lucky setting up the cameras and walked towards him not really seeing the backdrop. She smiled to see him so taken up with his knew vocation. Seeing him in this surrounding reinforced her belief that she was doing the right thing.
"My God, you're beautiful," Lucky said.
She flushed. "I'm not sure."
He wrapped an arm around her waist. "Well, I'm sure. You're going to be great."
"Are we going to get this started or what?"
Elizabeth turned to see Carly entering the set. She hadn't known Carly was going to be present. This was going to be hard enough as it is. She knew Carly was only going to make it worse.
Carly stopped in front of Elizabeth and gave her the once over. "Well, Liz, you don't look half bad." That was as close to a compliment as Carly could get.
"Thanks, Carly," Elizabeth said sarcastically. "That means a whole lot coming from you."
Carly looked to Lucky. "So, are we going to do this?"
Lucky jumped to attention. "Yeah, let's get started. Elizabeth, I need you over by the bench."
Bench? What bench? She looked across the room to see the backdrop they were going to use. It was a park scene with a wooden bench and light post. This couldn't be happening, she thought. First the building, then the dress and now the park setting. Someone was trying to recreate the night of her rape. She turned to Carly and caught a glint in her eye. Now she understood the look in Carly had given her at the party. Carly wanted to hurt her and she was using her rape to do it. How did Carly know so much about her? Why was she using it to hurt her?
Her feet refused to move. "Lucky, I can't do this."
"Yes, you can," he insisted. "Do it for us."
"Do we have a problem here?" Carly was having fun. Her plan was working perfectly. They hadn't even started shooting yet and already Miss Angel was having problem.
"No, no," Lucky replied. "There's no problem. Elizabeth just needs a minute."
"Well, times money so let's get a move on it," she said relishing the look on the younger girl's face.
Lucky pulled Elizabeth aside and spoke quietly so no one could hear. "Don't worry. I'm here," he said. "Noting is going to happen to you."
"But, Lucky, I don't feel comfortable doing this." She waved her hands down the length of her body. "Not any of it."
"This is our dream, Elizabeth. We're almost there. You can't let it go now. You have to go up there and be beautiful." He could see she wasn't going to agree. "Look, just try it for a few minutes. If you still don't feel comfortable, we can stop, okay."
She reluctantly agreed and slowly made her way to the bench. Lucky retrieved his camera and began to take some shots. She was so tense she couldn't move, couldn't smile. She jumped with each camera flash. She felt like her heart was about to jump out of her chest.
"She's too stiff. She looks like a statue. Would it hurt her to smile?" Carly's voice came from across the room. "If she can't do it right, there's no point to the competition."
"Elizabeth, try to relax," said Lucky from behind the camera.
Relax? How was she suppose to relax with Carly pointing out everything she was doing wrong? How could she smile when flashes were going off every five seconds blinding her? How could she concentrate when all she saw were images of hands over her mouth? It was like she was reliving the worst night of her life. Her body wasn't going to relax.
"I can't," her voice trembled. She stood and headed back to her change room.
Lucky grabbed her arm as she tried to pass. "A few more minutes, please. You'll see. You just need a few more minutes."
He walked her back to the bench and picked up his camera. A few more minutes made no difference. She could not relax and no matter how long they stayed there she wasn't going to. As much as she didn't want to hurt Lucky, she couldn't force her body to comply.
She was so caught up in her anxiety that she didn't notice the figure coming up behind her. When the hand touched her shoulder, she screamed. Before the man could do anything, Elizabeth has stood and shoved him into the backdrop tearing it. She'd had enough. There was no way she was going to stay and take anymore of Carly's garbage. She stalked over to Carly and punched her in the face knocking her down. She heard Carly yelling "You bitch," but she didn't wait for the fallout. She just headed straight for the exit door. Lucky reached her before she could escape.
"Did you know?" She came out attacking. "Did you know Carly was going to do this?"
"No, I didn't know she had hired a model to come up behind you. How can you think that of me?"
She turned to see the man she shoved getting up and brushing off his tux. In her panic, she hadn't noticed what he was wearing. She felt sorry that she had shoved him. It wasn't his fault that Carly was a bitch and using him to hurt her. She turned her attention back to Lucky. "You knew what building we were coming to before we got here didn't you? You knew about the dress, too and the backdrop. You weren't surprised by any of it."
He didn't say no or yes. He didn't say anything at all, but that was enough. She had gotten her answer. "How could you bring me here knowing what I would have to wear and where I'd have to sit? Did you think about me at all?"
"This is our dream, Elizabeth. I wasn't going to let anything get in the way of that."
"No, Lucky, it's your dream. I never wanted any of this. I just wanted you to be happy. Now I could care less." She tried to walk around him but he moved to block her way.
"Get away from me," she yelled.
"You don't mean that," he insisted. "You love me."
"The Lucky I loved wouldn't have put me through this. The Lucky I loved would do anything to make me happy," she said a little stunned. She was seeing Lucky for the first time, and she didn't like what she saw. "I don't even know who you are anymore. You don't love me. You just want to control me."
Lucky tried to grab her arm, "That's not true."
"Don't touch me! It is true. I've just been too stupid to realize it. I kept hoping that if I did everything to make you happy then I would be happy too. But it doesn't work that way. I can't live for you anymore. I have to do what's right for me. And none of this is what I want." She tried once more to pass him, but again he stood in her way.
"I'm not letting you leave me, Elizabeth. You're mine. You can't walk out on me," his face had changed to pure hatred. She couldn't believe this was the same Lucky she fell in love with. For a second she feared him, but then decided she wasn't going to let him control her again.
"Get out of my way." She shoved him out her way and left without looking back.