By: MataruDoukotsu

Fear and Destiny

Chapter 3: Fragility of a Mind: Part One

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Kingdom Hearts or the Final Fantasy saga. Now I beg you….please have mercy on this poor soul and put those blood thirsty lawyers away!

"So we know that not only do the Heartless want the Keyblade Master but they also want his protector?" Cid asked, lighting a cigarette, drawling long and hard on it.

"Not merely Riku's protector," Nekara spoke. She lay curled around said teen as he sat on the fireplace, watching as she inspected her cream colored claws.

"No, not just a protector…my Legion." He finished the feline's sentence, silently wondering why there was a hint of black at the cuticles of her sharp nails. It was interesting, really. When she had destroyed those Wyvern heartless back in the second district, her claws had been solid ebony. He fought the impulse to smooth his finger tips over those diamond hard appendages that could in no way simply be called 'nails.'

"That's where you just lost me." The gruff voice of Cid pulled Riku from his wonderings. "What the shit is a Legion anyway!"

"I'll try to put it into lame-man's terms. A Legion is a very powerful demon kindred spirit-like guardian who protects someone who basically really needs it." Nekara snapped, "There, good enough for ya?"

Cid glowered at the feline who shot the look back as she curled a little tighter around her ward. "It'll do…power-hungry bitch."

"Power hungry my ass, you just wait, Cid, you just wait." Riku lightly pet Nekara's head to get her to stop the growling at the store owner.

"Nekara be a good lass and go check on the Dalmatians." Leon glanced up at the girl to see her turning her powerful amber gaze to him; the glare in those cat eyes hazed over by the slight pleasure of getting her ears scratched at the moment. A slight shadow of respect could be seen through the lightning of resentment in her eyes as she gazed at him. Leon felt naked as those eyes stared at him, studying him…challenging him. Then suddenly she stretched and leapt toward the door.

"Fine." She answered and walked out the building by herself, letting them talk about whatever.

Keh, it's not like I care as to what they frickin' talk about. She thought as she weaved her way in and around buildings. It was late so hardly anyone was out on the streets, meaning she could walk out in the open with out the worry of someone screaming bloody murder about a new type of heartless in the first district. Though once and a while she had to slip into the shadows because of couples out on a romantic stroll.

A frown marred her face as she watched a couple go by. They were cute; no doubt about it, but that was not what the young female was frowning at.

I wish, she thought, that I could actually have someone. Someone I could cuddle with and not have to worry about a thing. Someone who would cherish me as Nekara, the person, not Nekara the Legion.

Suddenly the image of a fighting Riku appeared in her mind's eye. She shook her head, startled. Nekara had to admit, the teen was indeed very handsome and well built but…

He's the one I must protect for Gods Sakes. She thought face flushed slightly. He's my duty, and I can't forget that.

Glancing around her area, she scanned for anybody that would see her or any enemies. Noting that it was clear she leapt from the roof of an apartment complex and into the alleyway in front of the Cathedral before quietly opening the blue lit door to the Dalmatians' house a fraction and slipped in without a sound. Closing the door and locking it with a click, she turned only to get jumped on by a large black spotted dog with black ears.

"Hello to you Pongo." The feline smiled slightly as the dog continuously licked her chin. "Where is Perdita?"

: Up stairs, you wish for me to retrieve her, Legion of the Fedalian blood. : Nekara heard his familiar voice in her mind referring her ancestry with her race.

"If you would?" she scratched behind his ears and let him rest his full weight upon her shoulders and lean into her.

: Then you must stop scratching my ears and watch the pups for me. : He demanded, staring into her sun like orbs with highly intelligent sky blue eyes.

Letting her hold go on the male canine, she took a seat on the sofa and let the pups curl up on and around her as Pongo cantered up the stairs in pursuit of his female. Nekara idly scratched one of the puppy's ears that sat in her lap with one hand and another who lay on her shoulder with her other. She stared off into space as the puppies did all they could to get close to her; to snuggle into her warmth. Wondering aimlessly, she thought about why the puppies would want to gather in her warmth if she didn't have any?

It made no sense. Nekara knew that she was hard hearted and that was why many people didn't take their time with her. The only people who did was Merlin, and Leon; why? Only the Gods would know. She had done things that no person with any sense of warmth could inflict on anyone else.

Cold blooded murder…

: Nekara, it has been a while, has it not: A distinct female voice sounded in the feline's mind. Swerving her amber gaze to the source of that voice, Nekara smiled slightly.

"Hello, Perdita." She spoke softly, almost as if she were afraid of her previous thoughts.

: Nekara…how have you been? You seem exhausted, child. : The baby blue eyed female laid her head on Nekara's lap. Perdita gazed at her with meaning and sincerity, much like a mother.

Nekara rolled her eyes, and tapped the canine on her nose. "I've been fine─"

: Liar. You know that I do not mean physically. Pongo and I are very concerned about your mental state─: Perdita was interrupted as Nekara got to her feet in a sudden fluid movement.

"That's not your business, Perdita." Nekara stated irritably while pointing a claw at her. Pacing; it's what she did when she didn't know exactly what to do. She wasn't mentally unstable. She was perfectly fine! Unstable her ass! And how would a dog know if a feline was mentally falling? The fact was: they don't. Just because she was always quiet and kept to herself didn't mean anything, she just wasn't very responsive. "I haven't lost control yet." She growled, claws threading through her ebony hair and slicing the ribbon Merlin had tied it back into.

Perdita watched as the jade ribbon fell to the floor with sad eyes. The ribbon was beautiful, worn at the edges a bit and now it had fallen. An analogy that she thought was perfect for the pacing woman with molten eyes. : You mean since the last time…: she corrected, her mental voice darkened by a light fog of gloom. Visions of maddened crimson eyes and blood stained claws and face made Perdita close her eyes and shift her head to the side as if to rid them from her head. : You cannot be the strength of the worlds, Nekara. It will drain you until there is nothing left! The Beast inside you will not care who is friend or foe when he is lose. And I do not want to see you like that again. You are at the edge, Nekara, and soon you will tip and fall and there might not be anyone there to catch you. :

Nekara froze. She was right. Perdita was always right. Nekara knew she would not be able to play this one off again. She could not play it off and say that killing the innocent didn't harm her…especially when those innocents and been her own people and underlings. But it would not happen again. She would tighten her control on the damned Beast and imprison him.

Eyes hardened into two cold suns, and face frozen into the place without emotion she turned to Perdita. "I am no cub. I am from the Legion and Fedalian Blood-lines. And I will not mentally tip." She sauntered past Pongo and toward the door.

: Nekara: Perdita's beautiful face contorted into a mass of snarls and growls. : You will not ignore me like a trodden fur rug, cub! You will fall and nobody will save you! You will fall from your high thrown and into a pit leading straight to the seventh depth of Hell! Your black blood will be your down fall:Perdita watched as black bangs fell over those unusual demon eyes, and with her horror a smirk appeared on those pink lips showing deadly elongated fangs.

"Until the next time Perdita. That is unless I fall into that foreseen pit of Hell." And with a short bark of laughter, she was gone into the shadows of the outside.

Perdita's snarls gave way, and she fell to the ground. : Oh, Pongo, what have I done? There's no way she will see that unless she vanquishes her Fedalian blood, she is doomed. :

Pongo walked forward and nuzzled his female's face. : We can only pray that she doesn't lose her control again. Or else there will be a question of not only her safety but that of the Keyblade Master's. :

Perdita didn't even notice the tear that fell in the corner of her as she leaned into Pongo for support.

Nekara ran and ran as if she were the wind itself. She needed something to relieve her stress, and right now she was trying to rouse up as many Heartless as possible. Fighting was the only thing she knew. It was her life, her way, her path. If world peace settled, she would be useless; inadequate. So right now she fought, fought to her heart's content. The motions were smooth and graceful as they had been practiced so many times before. For her it was not just a skill, it was an art; and she had perfected it a long time ago. Now all she needed was her sword, and she would be indestructible again… This was how she had hardened her life; she was set by the way of sword and destruction. After this journey with Riku, she would disappear…back to the shadows, maybe back to her Empire if she could jaunt DeVen from the thrown. Or maybe Riku would let her tag along back to his home world…

Nekara paused, only breathing with the slightest of problem. Her hair was a mess, and her cheeks felt a little slippery. Carefully she brought her hand to her face; she found her hands shaking slightly. The sight disturbed the Legion. A sudden wetness streaking down her cheek caught her attention, and she lifted a claw to wipe the soft skin, only to find water in the shape of a dew drop resting on her finger…

Curious she gazed at it, only to come to the conclusion that this was a tear…she had been crying, and she didn't even know about it. Nekara felt her knees quake and she fell to the ground, still staring at the drop that had come from her. But she never cried…it made no sense. Why would she cry?

There was no reasonable explanation. But the thought that she had actually done something that she had always considered weak, made the tears come streaming down her bronze tanned cheeks.

And that was how Riku had found her…fallen and crying amongst a hoard of broken and destroyed Heartless.

Just like me…

A/N: Yes, I know this is short and I know I haven't updated in a while, but I'm kind of stricken that I haven't gotten any review as of yet.

This is only the first part of Fragility of a Mind because this is where we actually start to delve into the mind of Nekara. I hope this isn't too weird having an absolute new and made up character in this. Don't worry about the Fedalian thing, it will be explained in the near future, maybe not as soon as you would like it but you'll just have to put up with it. I hope you are enjoying this fic so far, because even though it is exhausting to write as of this moment, I must say that it is fun. Please, please review!

MataruDoukotsu

P.S.SI've entereda Pitch Black fic called Taming the Beast, if you are into the Riddick series, please look over it! It's in AdultFanfiction. I'll be working on that if I don't get any reviews for this story here.