Wilson: ...But first, let me explain your Soliton radar system, that I created. Snake, the radar is better than gettin' interfered with by the weather, but if you're discovered by an enemy, not only are you a dumbass, but you can't use the radar 'cause the enemies pick up on the signal. But you an infiltration expert, right? So that shit ain't supposed to happen.
Colonel: Yes, it gets jammed easily I'm afraid.
Wilson: Man, fuck you Campbell. This is my shit, dig? MY SHIT! Made from currently existing technology, though, so...it won't work with a bunch'a strong harmonic resonance.
Colonel: ...We'll be monitoring your movements by radar, so contact us by codec any time you want.
Snake: Got it. I'll call if I'm feeling lonely.
Naomi: Seriously Snake. We're here to back you up so call if you need some information or advice.
Wilson: I'm also in charge of the mission data, so if you're a pussy and gettin' tired call me so you can go lay down like a bitch. The frequency's 140.96. It's THE dedicated frequency for saving data, so if you forget it you're fucked.
Master: Sorry for eavesdropping, but I just couldn't listen anymore.
Snake: Master...
Master: Snake, you can have regrets if you want to...it's only natural. But you can't keep attacking yourself for things that happened in the past. That road leads to madness, believe me.
Wilson: Ya know, white boy has a point Snake. Don't kick yourself like a dumbass. And I thought you were a legendary mercenary. Sell-out.
Snake: Wilson...
Snake: Wilson, what are your origins?
Wilson: You mean where I was born? Well, my dad was an asshole negro who walked 'round the world like he was its fucking creator. Then he got together with some slut and they ran off to China. And while I was born there, I was raised in the good 'ol USA. I liked to learn 'bout my birthplace and their way of life. They're really interesting, ya know?
Snake: So that's how you know all those great quotes.
Wilson: No, Snake, I actually just walked around like a dumbass and all the knowledge of the entire fucking Chinese customs just came to me.
Snake: Uhh...
Wilson: Snake, Shakespeare said "Nought's had, all's spent, where our desire is got without content." That means just 'cause there's a shiny box of ammo across the room and there's an enemy sentry in front of it doesn't mean you have to go running over and getting it like a retard on crack. It doesn't make sense to get everything, and sometiems it's not even worth it. Keep focused on the mission.
Wilson: So what's up, Snake? You gotten used to the radar yet?
Snake: Yeah. It's a great system. Not only can I read the topography, but I can monitor the movement of the bad guys too.
Wilson: Pretty convenient, eh? But it's a double-edged sword, Snake. We can see everything you're doing. So if you try jackin' off in a locker during the mission, we'll know.
Snake: Uhh...you're watching everything?
Wilson: Yeah. If I used this shit on my girl she'd never be able to get some strange dick on the side.
Snake: Being monitored 24 hours a day...that would be like hell.
Wilson: Well true, but at least you'd never get lost.
Wilson: "The cautious seldom err." Confucius said that. And if Confucius said it, it's true. That means if you're always be careful and look around, you won't fuck up big time. I know you're probably already used to the mission now but don't lose your concentration.
Wilson: Snake, you ever hear people say "Friendly counsel cuts off many foes?" It means a just a 'lil bit of dvice can save you from an assrapin' of trouble. So contac the Colonel or somebody else when you need some advice.
Wilson: Snake, lemme ask you somethin'. What does it feel like to fight? I mean, I've been in some scrapes before but nothing bad.
Snake: Why do you ask?
Wilson: Well, I dig some fighting games.
Snake: Games?
Wilson: Yeah, fighting games. I've seen so much death, but...it's always on a monitor, or in burst transmission.
Snake: This is no game! There are no startovers if you make a mistake. Killing's not fun. It's not pretty either, like it looks in those video games.
Wilson: Shit shit, chill dawg. Cool, I got it, war's not a video game.
Snake: Listen, Wilson, after this operation is over, I want you to go back to being a normal student.
Wilson: Man, fuck that! I ain't goin' nowhere, bitch!
Snake: ...Alright, I guess. But that's just my advice to you.
Wilson: "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, old time is still aflying, and this same flower, that smiles today, tomorrow will be dying." It means Snake, that laughter is the best medicine. You should be thankful you've got enough free time to be playin' a game. Have fun, yo?
Wilson: "Solitude sometimes is best society, and short retirement urges sweet return." Milton wrote that in Paradise Lost. Got tired of gettin' cold and snowed in everyday, huh? That why you came runnin' back to the soldierly life, Snake?
Wilson: "The proud man does not eat rotting meat even when hungry, nor steal water from another's well when he thirsts." Oh wait, I forgot. You had to be a fuckin' thief for everything you have, so I guess that ain't appropriate.
Wilson: In China it's said that "Once the fox gets his nose in, he'll soon find a way to make his body follow." That's an avid description of you, Snake. Be sure to fit in to every situation you encounter.
Wilson: "He who is firm in will molds the world to himself." Don't forget what's up, Snake. You gotta pounce on anything that presents itself, all right? Same thing I do with chicks.
Wilson: In China they say "The snake, knowing itself, strikes swiftly." That means if you know you can bust a cap into everybody in the room without moving a step, do it bitch! You shouldn't have any hesitation if you're a well-known, respected mercenary. But I guess the mission isn't in your true nature. But be sure to have confidence all the time, all right Snake?
Wilson: "Win any way you can. Nice guys finish last." That asshole Leo Durocher said it. But...I guess gettin' slam-fucked by some playa hata is better than gettin' slam-fucked by worms. Is there anything you wouldn't do to keep your ass breathing? Think about it Snake.
Wilson: Never give up, Snake. Remember the play Macbeth, act V, scene III. "I'll fight, till from my bones my flesh be hack'd, give me my armor." Everybody's countin' on you, Snake. You gotta do it and fuck those terrorists up.
Wilson: "War he sung, is toil and trouble; honor but an empty bubble." How 'bout it, Snake? Your honor just an empty bubble?
Wilson: "Come, what come may, time and the hour runs through the roughest day." We're almost out of time, bitch! Take out those bitches and destroy their capability of launching that nuke!
Wilson: Snake, you better fuckin' get your ass movin' and savin' the DARPA chief. If you're a lazymotherfucker and can't see the green dot, that's him. Now get to work and save his ass!
Wilson: So Snake, you like bein' in ladies' bathrooms? Fetish?
Snake: No...I saw Meryl come in here.
Wilson: So you're raiding a woman's sanctuary to find her?
Snake: Wilson, this is the only place I can talk to her alone.
Wilson: Yeah, I'm sure that was the reason you went in there.
Snake: Wilson, how can someone outside of this operation cut into my Codec?
Wilson: You're talking about that '70s porno motherfucker Deepthroat? Yeah, we heard what ya'll were talking about.
Snake: What about it?
Wilson: Well if someone knows your frequency, they can obviously call you. The only question here is how did he learn it? It's top-secret shit we're talkin' about here...
Snake: Can you tell where he called from?
Wilson: The signal was too weak to locate its source, but he's probably near you...somewhere in the base.
Wilson: Ya know Snake, it was good that you hooked up with that white girl...Man, you should've seen the look on the Colonel's face. It looked like he was strung out on happy pills. But he doesn't like to let it show 'cause he thinks he all that, but he could obviously barely contain himself.
Snake: I'm uh, glad to hear that.
Snake: Wilson, how's Naomi?
Wilson: What? Uh, nice I guess. Why do you want to know?
Snake: Oh...
Wilson: Snake, what the fuck do you want? If you wanna talk to Naomi, call her, not me dumbass! Fuckin' idiot.
Snake: ...Noami wasn't acting strangely or anything?
Wilson: Not really...can't believe Naomi was an enemy spy though. I just can't fucking believe it.
Snake: I don't want to believe it either, but...
Wilson: Yeah Snake. I get the picture.
Wilson: Snake, Naomi's being cuffed up.
Snake: What the hell is happening over there? What's the Colonel thinking?
Wilson: Well, the Colonel...never mind. Can't fill you in on anything else. But don't fret, I'm still here for ya. 'Til the end of this thing...
Snake: Wilson, I don;'t think I can go through all that again. Please save the mission.
Wilson: A pussy, eh?
Wilson: Snake, I'm gettin' kinda worried for my home dawg. You all right?
Snake: I've been through a lot worse. Believe me.
Wilson: I guess you are better than what I thought. It's a good thing that the codec is directly connected to your inner ear so you can call us up anytime. Always good to hear you're still blazin'.