Chapter Three

Cruel, Brutal, and Careful

And by the way….the case of the assailant that forced his victims to wear a pink nightgown and he used protection….real case. Which goes to prove, truth is stranger than fiction. Usually.

Six weeks had passed. Jordan knew this for a fact. At the end of each working day, she methodically made an "X" in that day's box on her wall calendar. It had been six weeks since her world had been turned upside down.

Six weeks…and she thought she may be setting her universe right side up again. All of the tests for STDs had come back negative. Including her AIDs test. And she had her period. She wasn't pregnant.

However her tests had also revealed something odd about her assault. Her attacker stopped to use a condom. Not something that normally happened every day. As a matter of fact, there was only one other case that she remembered that a rapist took the time to use protection….and that had been years before she became a medical examiner. The perp forced his victims to change into a pink negligee and he used protection.

Her attacker had been brutal … cruel…and careful all at the same time. Jordan shook her head and tugged at her loose fitting sweater as she stared out the window. No matter how hard she tried, she feared some things would never go back to the way they were before her attack. She felt she could no longer wear her form fitting jeans and smaller-sized shirts…Larger fitting clothes showed no shape of her figure…they became her armor, really. If she looked and felt unattractive, maybe no one else would hurt her. But even if she was dressed in designer wear, she never thought she could be attractive to another man again. More specifically, attractive to Woody.

In the back of her mind, despite what he had told her at the hospital after he had been shot by the sniper…to go away…he didn't want her pity…she had harbored the longing that they would still end up together…given enough time and attention, he would realize the extent of her feelings. Only now she felt that couldn't happen. She knew it was irrational, but the scars her attacker had left on her ran deep, as did the needless shame that many victims of sexual assault feel – that somehow, some way, it was really their fault. She now felt, that no matter what happened, Woody would never want her. Not after what had occurred.

So it was for the best that he had already decided to close the door on their relationship…and moved on.

And as soon as she was able, she would do the same. For despite the fact that she did love Woody…more than she could express…she didn't think he could ever love her now. And the thought of a man…any man…including Woody…touching her…made her sick and panicky.

Not what she wanted the next time she made love….she had been waiting for the time to be right between her and her Farm Boy…he was the last and only man she wanted to be with for the rest of her life. Only it wasn't meant to be. Not only had she never made love with him in the past, she now didn't know if she would ever be able to in the future….with any one.

"Hey…are you up for an autopsy?' Garret called from her doorway, bringing her out of her thoughts. The one thing that had returned to normal during these six weeks was that Garret had been cleared of charges and was back as chief ME, much to Jordan's and the rest of the staff's delight.

"Me? Sure."

"Exam room one. Woody's the lead detective, though. Will you be all right with that?" Garret asked cautiously. He had heard through the grapevine what had happened between the couple. He was genuinely sad for Jordan, and more than a tad upset at Woody for his callousness.

"I'll be fine, Garret. We have worked together since he got back to work. And it's okay." She smiled at her boss as she went to change into her scrubs. If she could just keep busy, she wouldn't have to think about anything but the bodies in front of her.

"So what have we got?" she asked Nigel as she snapped on her latex gloves and pulled down her face shield.

"Female, Caucasian, roughly 36 years-old….throat slashed."

Jordan gingerly pulled the sheet down that covered the victim. The gash that crossed her throat was jagged and deep. "Man…" she breathed.

"Yeah. Her assailant was brutal," Woody said, coming up behind her. She could hear the soft click of his cane. He had graduated from crutches a week ago. She had been genuinely glad for him. More and more of the feeling had been returning to his legs…no thanks to her. She had stopped attending his physical therapy sessions right after her attack. She would have gotten home well after dark and was afraid to walk through her parking garage then.

"What does trace tell us?" she asked Nigel, trying to pull herself together … she was always on edge now, but even more so when Woody was there.

"There was semen present…so there was sex, but it doesn't appear to be consensual."

Jordan closed her eyes. She had dreaded her first sexual assault homicide after her attack…but at least it didn't appear to be her attacker. There was semen. Her attacker had used a condom.

"Well, at least one of our rapists hasn't graduated to homicide," Woody commented, looking over the reports that Nigel had handed him.

"One of the rapists?" Jordan asked, feeling her heart lurch to her throat.

"Yeah…there have been a series of rapes…really strange cases…the attacker brutalizes his victims, but yet stops to use a condom. I've never …."

Jordan didn't acknowledge the rest of what Woody was saying….a loud ringing in her ears prevented her from hearing anything else. She felt herself flush hot and then cold. If she didn't get out of the room, she was going to be sick…or worse, faint. She swallowed hard. "The rapist…the one who uses a condom…who's the lead detective on that case?" she asked, her voice faint.

"I am."

Oh shit. She suddenly snapped off her gloves. "Nigel…I'll be right back…I promise." She ran from autopsy to the ladies locker room, flinging open the door, letting it slam behind her and sliding down the wall to sit on a bench. Putting her head between her legs to keep from fainting, she swallowed the bile she felt rising in her throat. Even if she wanted to tell now…Woody was the lead detective. And he was the last person she wanted to find out. She couldn't bear his pity anymore than he could stand hers.

Gaining control of her stomach and her emotions, she went to the sink and splashed her face with cold water. Looking at herself in the mirror in front of her, she dried her face and looked herself in the eyes. You can do this, Cavanaugh. You never thought you'd function fully after your mother's death, or your father's abandoning you…but you have. You knew it was going to be hard after Woody pushed you away, yet you still get up every morning. You can work through this, too. She walked back into the exam room.

"Sorry," she said, giving Woody and Nigel a weak smile. "Sexual assault cases have always been hard on me…sometimes….sometimes….man's inhumanity to man…or in this case, woman, is more than I can handle."

Nigel nodded and continued to run tox screens. Woody said nothing, just observed in silence as the autopsy was completed. Jordan snapped her gloves off one more time and threw them into the hazmat container and started to go out the door.

"Jordan."

Her heart raced to her throat again. What if he had somehow put two and two together….

"The rapist that uses condoms….some of his attacks were close to your neighborhood. Be careful…okay?" Woody asked.

Jordan turned around and tried to give him her best nonchalant smile. "Will do, Detective."