One Week with the Kenshingumi, a rurouni kenshin fanfic

One Week (With The Kenshin-gumi)

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is something I was dared to do by a friend, because of the freaky lyrics, she said it would be impossible… but… heh… it's fairly decent, if I do say so myself. This is simply a little piece of humor—nothing more, nothing less. Hopefully you'll like it! P.S. I own nothing. The song's by Barenaked ladies, you know who owns all the characters… yeah… just so we cleared that up!

Rating: PG-13, it does get testy, in parts.

Summary: It had been quite a week in the Kamiya dojo, with Aoshi and Misao visiting, and Saitoh dropping in at random intervals; it was only to be expected. Sanosuke began humming a tune that gradually grew and spread to the others until it turned into a full blown my-life-as-a-musical scenario. Here's what followed.

Sanosuke (To Megumi, who was glaring at him ruthlessly and chopping radishes with a look in her eye that said "This could be your head… and not the one with the bandana on it either!"): "It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said I'm angry."

Yahiko (To Kaoru, as he walked away, with is favorite bokken broken in three different pieces.) : "Five days since you laughed at me
Saying get that together come back and see me."

Kaoru (To Kenshin who she threw a book at for making a comment that she'd considered rude, refused to even look at him.): "Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you,"

Misao (Who yelled at Aoshi outside—about something "unmentionable" that had occurred on the train ride to Tokyo—She spoke in an "I-know-you-sonny-but-you're-not-gonna-get-off-that-easy" tone.): "Yesterday you'd forgiven me
But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry"

This sequence of events prompted all of the Kenshin-gumi to pause and look about them and smile at one another. Suddenly, they were back where they started, before they were angry at one another, before all the crap had happened—and they all ended up around the kitchen table, plenty of sake bottles in hand, singing joyfully about nothing:

Sanosuke: "Hold it now and watch the hoodwink
As I make you stop, think
You'll think you're looking at Shishio!"

Kenshin, who'd run back to the kitchen to grab the dinner left forgotten about: "I summon fish to the dish, although I like the chalet Swiss
I like the sushi 'cause it's never touched a frying pan
Hot like Wasabi when I bust rhymes
Cool when I fight crime
Because I'm all about value
Shinimori's got the mad hits
You try to match wits—" but he was cut off as he sat down, when Aoshi found his cue to take over.

Aoshi, pretending to fight a bad guy with an invisible sword: "You try to hold me but I bust through
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a temple by the lake
I like the winter, it's the finest of the seasons
Gotta see the snow, cause then you'll know
The vertigo is gonna grow
Cause it's so dangerous, you'll have to sign a waiver!" He finished his lines and Misao clapped cheerfully for him.

Misao: "Lord Aoshi! I didn't know you could rap!"

Kaoru, who was leaning heavily on Kenshin: "I like it when you sing, Kenshin!"

Kenshin (Blushing): Oro!

Just then, Saitoh slid the door open and smiled at the cheerful crowd of people before him. Taking his cigarette form his mouth, he chimed in the corus:

Saitoh (Smugly): "How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?" He looked directly to Kenshin when he sung that line, and Kenshin glared at him in a 'ha-ha-very-funny" fashion.

"Trying hard not to smile I don't feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt." He finished, and slid out of his riding jacket and sat at the end of the table opposite of Aoshi. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn't, and it was Megumi's turn for the spot light.

Megumi (Grabbing Sano by the shirt to get his attention): "It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air and said you're crazy—" but she didn't finish, because he cut her off with a retort of his own.

Sanosuke, riled: "Five days since you tackled me
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees"

Aoshi looked sheepishly at Misao, who he hadn't spoken to all evening: "It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized it's not my fault not a moment too soon."

Misao glared back at him, triumphantly, and cocked her head: "Yesterday you'd forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait till you say you're sorry"

With that they sat in silence for a moment, and Saitoh smoked his cigarette, and smirked at the rest of them. When finally, Yahiko looked around and grinned and picked up the tune where it had faded off.

Yahiko: "Kaoru cooks fish but it smells like chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin Kenshin cook with no lights on, is more exciting!"

Kaoru, offended, and blushing: See if I help you complete you training now you little pipsqueak!

But everyone was laughing at her expense anyway.

Misao (mumbling to Megumi): "I hope the smoking man's leaving soon…"

Megumi choked on her food and covered it up with her turn: "Like lord Takeda I'm getting frantic
Like Tomoe I'm tantric
Like Sano, guaranteed to satisfy (ah hohohohoho!)
Like Dr. Gensai I make medicines
But only the good ones,
And they've helped to treat this samurai!" She leaned over and gave Kenshin a kiss on his cheek "Isn't that right, Ken-san?

Kenshin, gurgling: Orororororo?

Kaoru merely growled, but Kenshin chose to take the next line to separate the two.

Kenshin: "Gonna get a sakkabatou sword
Gonna find the kind with secret words, because the
Irons are always flying off the back-swing."

Sanosuke grinned, stealing Kaoru's turn from her; he proudly sung the next lines all wrong: "Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon

Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing!"

Megumi outright slapped him, "If you think you're sleeping with me tonight mister, you're out of your mind!"

Saitoh laughed, but managed his lines: "How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?
Trying hard not to smile I don't feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean? You soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of losing my shirt…"

Kaoru yawned, knowing the festivities were dying down, noting how even Saitoh had retrieved his coat and departed after his last verse, she merely spoke her line: "It's been one week since you looked at me
Dropped your arms to your sides and said I'm sorry"

Sanosuke, still reeling from the smack that Megumi had given him, but knowing that she hadn't meant it, he grinned at her: "Five days since I laughed at you
And said you just did just what I thought you were gonna do"

Aoshi stood Misao up, and bit the Kenshin-gumi a goodnight, on the way out, he muttered to her, and it was overheard by the others: "Three days since the living room
We realized we're both to blame, but what could we do?"

Kenshin leaned over to Kaoru and whispered something into her ear that made her smile. Leaning away from her, he grinned: "Yesterday you just smiled at me
Cause it'll still be two days till we say we're sorry…"

Megumi and Sanosuke repeated his words in dreamy unison: "It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry…"

Aoshi said them too, but no one heard him: "It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry…"

It was Saitoh who, while walking the lonely road back into town, still smoking a cigarette, finished the evening with a whisper of his own: "Kamiya dojo—that group is crazy…"