Chapter 32
Walking into her old room, her first thought was that it hadn't changed. It looked exactly the same as it did 18 months ago when she'd declared her independence and moved out to live in her studio. Her grandmother hadn't changed a thing. Everything was exactly the way she remembered it.
When her grandmother had first suggested she come to stay with her after her release from the hospital, Elizabeth had refused the idea. She'd thought it would be taking a step backwards, like she wanted to hide from the world. But after running through the hoard reporters at the hospital, she knew her grandmother's was the best place to be. The reporters wouldn't bother her here. They were probably stalking out Kelly's right this minute hoping Elizabeth would talk to them.
Those vultures didn't care about anything but a juicy story. At first Audrey and Emily had tried to keep her from seeing the news. They refused to bring her a newspaper and would not allow her to watch television during news time. They'd argued she shouldn't get upset while she was trying to heal. She loved them for trying to protect her, but she knew they were only prolonging the inevitable. She couldn't ignore what was going on outside her hospital room.
However bad she thought it would be, it turned out to be worse. The headlines roared of a love triangle between the next Face of Deception, the mob enforcer and the lowly photographer. Each article painted Lucky as the innocent victim. They completely ignored her and Lucky's past relationship saying that Elizabeth was only using Lucky to get the Face of Deception position. They quoted an anonymous source who claimed Elizabeth was seeing Jason on the side and was only waiting for Laura to give her the job before she dumped Lucky. It was so funny she wanted to laugh but knew she would end up crying. How could this be happening?
She jumped as the phone began to ring. She knew Emily was worried about her. Emily had wanted to come home with her, but she'd told her she would be okay, especially when her grandmother was here. Emily had spent almost everyday with her at the hospital. Elizabeth told her she needed to spend some time with Zander before he forgot what his girlfriend looks like. She looked at the clock on her desk. Emily couldn't even last fifteen minutes without checking on her.
"Emily, I'm fine," she said into the phone. "You shouldn't be checking up on me. You should be making out with Zander. He's …"
"Miss Webber? My name is Sandra Parker from The Port Charles Gazette. Do have a moment to answer some questions about the up coming murder trial?"
"No. Leave me alone," she shouted before slamming the phone down. God, she had thought it would take them longer to figure out where she was. She'd hoped for at least a day to herself before the media started pounding on her door.
She moved to her window to see if there were any reporters outside. She scanned the street but couldn't see anyone. Yet. She knew it would only be a matter of minutes before they made their appearance. She needed to leave before they could follow her. She didn't want them to hound her every move, especially with what she needed to do. Grabbing her coat she headed downstairs to tell her grandmother.
"Grams," she yelled. "I'm going out for a few hours."
"What?" Audrey came into the living from the kitchen. "What do you mean? Where are you going?"
Elizabeth stopped at the front door. "I needed to do some things. I was going to go later, but that call was from a reporter. All of them are going to be here soon, and then I won't be able to leave."
"Well, you shouldn't," Audrey voiced. "You just got out of the hospital. You need to rest."
"Grams, I've been resting for weeks. I need to go. Please don't worry. I'll be fine." She opened the door and walked out before Audrey could object.
She walked tentatively through the cemetery. She knew she had to do this but was still hesitant. She wished she had let Emily come with her. Maybe then it wouldn't seem so surreal. It wasn't everyday a person went to the place their boyfriend had been buried for the second time. She had come by here so often the first time around that she didn't need directions to Lucky's grave site. She stopped near the gravestone. Everything was exactly the same except for the date of Lucky's death - now it read March 12, 2001.
Elizabeth remembered the first time she had come here. At the time, she'd felt like her world was over. Lucky was dead, and she was struggling to live without him. She'd wanted to die too. Now the second time around she was glad she was alive. She brought her hand to her scar. It was covered by her sweater, but she could still feel it.
A tear fell down her cheek. She didn't know how she would feel coming here. Lucky had almost ended her life. Should she hate him? She couldn't. She refused to think about the Lucky who'd manipulated and controlled her. She preferred to remember Lucky to way he was before the kidnapping. That was who was buried here. If she closed her eyes, she could almost forget these past two years and pretend that Lucky never came back. She wanted to mourn the loss of the friend who helped her through the most horrible time in her life. She missed that friend. When she'd left Jason's that day, she naively hoped Lucky and her could remain friends after they broke up. She hadn't realized just how obsessed he was.
The guilt attacked her again. Was there something she could have done differently that day? Said something differently to change the outcome? If she had, maybe Lucky would still be alive. Maybe he could have gotten the help he needed. Then he would realize that they weren't meant to be together. All she'd ever wanted was for Lucky to be happy. Now he would never get that chance.
"You shouldn't be here."
Elizabeth turned to see Nikolas standing a few feet away. She had been so deep in thought she hadn't heard him walk up. The day she woke up was the last day she'd seen him. Emily tried to cover by saying he was tied up in funeral arrangements and business matters, but she knew Nikolas was angry at her for telling the police Lucky shot her.
"I just wanted to say goodbye to Lucky," she said wiping the tears from her face.
Nikolas' mouth twisted in anger. "Don't give me that mourned lover act. You don't have the right to stand here and shed tears over Lucky's grave when your lover killed him."
Elizabeth knew Nikolas was angry, she just didn't realize how much he hated her. "That's not true."
Nikolas took a step closer to her. "It is true. Lucky suspected you were cheating on him, but I told him no, not Elizabeth. She loves you. Boy, was I stupid. When he confronted you, your lover shot him."
Elizabeth took a step back. "That's not what happened. Lucky went after Jason with a gun. Lucky pulled the trigger. Lucky shot me."
"You're lying," he screamed. "Lucky would never hurt you. You know that. He loved you, would do anything for you."
"He didn't mean to shoot me," she argued. "He was trying to kill Jason."
"How can you stand over Lucky's grave and lie to me?" Nikolas refused to listen to what Elizabeth was saying. He didn't want to hear anymore of her lies.
"I'm not lying, Nikolas," she insisted. "Lucky needed help. I'm sorry I didn't realize that before it was too late. I wish things could have been different. You don't know how much I wish Lucky was still alive."
"But he's not. Your boyfriend killed him, and now he's going to jail," he smiled sinisterly. "If it was up to me, you would be in the next cell. You may not have pulled the trigger, but you killed Lucky as easily as if you did. He tore himself up wondering why you couldn't love him like he loved you."
"I did love him," she yelled but Nikolas wasn't listening.
"He would tell me about how you flirted with all the male customers to get bigger tips. He told me he thought there was something going on between you and Sonny Corinthos. I didn't believe it. You were in love with my brother, and Sonny was happily married. But then I saw you two at the launch party. You were so comfortable with each other. I could tell there was something more between you than just a casual friendship.
"Then there was Jason. He didn't even have to say anything about Jason. I knew as soon as Jason returned you would go running to him. My God, you didn't even wait a year before sleeping with him when Lucky was kidnapped. If you couldn't respect Lucky in death, you certainly weren't going to while he was alive.
"Why couldn't you have just broken up with him? Why did you have to string Lucky along and go behind his back with Morgan? Did you know he was going to propose? Did you?"
Elizabeth couldn't speak. She could only shake her head. She couldn't believe Nikolas would think she was capable of what he accused her of. Didn't he know her at all? How could he think she was sleeping with Sonny and Jason behind Lucky's back? Because Lucky told him. Nikolas loved his brother and would always be on his side.
He looked down at her as if she was some peasant beneath his royal standing. "We went out together. He picked out a beautiful ring he was sure you were going to love. He had it all planned. He was going to ask you after you were voted the Face of Deception. Your world tour was going to be your honeymoon."
Elizabeth had had enough. Her guilt was only going to allow her to take so much. "I never wanted to be the Face of Deception. I only did it to make Lucky happy. Everything I have done since Lucky's return I did to make him happy. When he threw me aside and said he didn't love me, I accepted it and didn't argue. When he came knocking on my door, saying it was all a trick and he wanted me back, I opened my arms to him. He didn't even say he was sorry for hurting me that whole summer. He didn't care. He just assumed I would take him back, and stupid me, I did. He decided he wanted to be a photographer, then I had to be the model. You know, he didn't even ask me if I wanted to be a model. He just mentioned it like it was already agreed on. I didn't get a say in my own life."
She paused to take a breath. "Lucky didn't love me. He wanted to control me. He didn't like me living in my studio, so I took the room beside him at Kelly's. He didn't want me to be friends with Jason, so I ended my friendship. By the launch party, he was practically speaking for me, telling me when to eat and when to sleep. I couldn't live that way anymore."
"So you got your friend Jason to take care of him."
Elizabeth was dumbstruck. Had Nikolas heard anything she'd just said? "No, I didn't. Lucky shot me, Nikolas, not the other way around. I didn't make him buy a gun and go after Jason. That was his decision. You can't blame me for that. I don't know who killed him, and frankly, right now I don't care. I didn't come here to mourn the man who died. I'm here to remember the boy I loved. The boy that died in the fire. He's the person lying in this grave, not the person you buried four weeks ago. He is the one I will never forget and love till the day I die. If you don't want to believe that then we have nothing else to say to each other."
She turned and walked away without waiting for his response. She didn't want to fight with him anymore. Nikolas wanted to believe Lucky was the victim. Maybe he needed to believe it. As much as it pained her to lose another friend, she knew she didn't have a choice. There was no way they could get past this. He refused to listen to the truth, and she refused to lie to make him feel better. She hoped there would come a time when they can be friends again, but she doubted it.
She made her way through the park to get to Harbour View Towers, but made a point to avoid the place where she was shot. She knew she wasn't strong enough to go there and relive the shooting. The dreams were almost gone, and she didn't want to do anything to cause them to return. She entered the elevator with little difficulty from the guards. They all knew who she was by now even if they'd never seen her in person. She was the reason one of their bosses was behind bars.
She stopped at the door to Penthouse 4. There was no guard, so she knocked herself. She was wondering if Sonny was home when the door opened to reveal that man she wanted to see.
"Elizabeth," he said. She could hear the surprise in his voice. He hadn't expected her to be on his doorstep.
"Hi, Sonny," she began hesitantly. He hadn't moved or gestured for her to come in. "Can I come in?"
He moved quickly away from the door to let her enter the penthouse. "Come in, come in. I'm sorry. You were the last person I expected to see at my door. Alexis told me you were being released today, but I figured you'd want to rest at your grandmother's."
She walked to the couch but didn't sit down. "I'm tired of resting. I needed to get out."
He closed the door and looked tentatively to the stairs. Carly was upstairs with Michael. He hoped she wouldn't decide to come down. He didn't want Elizabeth to have to deal with Carly while Jason was still in prison. "Are you okay? Everything is all right? Has the press been bothering you? Is there anything I can do?"
Elizabeth took a deep breath. "I'm fine. Everything is good. Yes, the press are bothering me, but I can take care of them. Yes, there is something you can do for me." She paused not sure how to ask what she came to ask.
Sonny could see Elizabeth was struggling with something. "What? I'll do anything for you, you know that?"
She decided straight forward was always the best method. "I want to see Jason, and I know you can make that happen."