CHAPTER 2: The Alliance Seperates (Before it was formed. Go figure)
Andre: Whahahahahaha! Someone hand me a mirror so that jerk can see the expression on his own face!
Razorbeard: Look at the mighty Rayman now!
Mr. Dark: Hahaha,hahah,ahahaha,ha.
Rayman: Okay. I tried the negocations. But you forced me to use force!
Andre: Ooh, nice words there. Forceful force!
Razorbeard: I'll shoot him with my science team's latest invention, the UberRazor Missile!
Mr. Dark: No. I'll kill, him with my, SuperDarkBa,ll.
Razorbeard: Now wait just one minute here! I get to kill him!
Mr. Dark: No. You're wrong. I',ll kill him,!
Razorbeard: Eat missile!
*Razorbeard launches an UberRazor Missile at Mr. Dark, but misses*
Mr. Dark: Hahahaha, what terrib,le aim!
*Mr. Dark throws a SuperDarkBall at Razorbeard. The two are now locked in a bitter missile-ball battle*
Andre: Bah! Who needs them! I'll take care of you!
Rayman: Heh. What can you do to me!
Andre: You think I can't fight? Well, you're right! I can't! Bye!
*Andre flies into the sky*
Rayman: Now I'll take advantage of Razorbeard's ignorance and Mr. Dark's stupitidy to escape!
Razorbeard: *still launching missiles* Aha! Rayman has his back turned. Time to blast him!
Mr. Dark: Wow. Rayman has, his back turned,. Time to shoot h,im! *Both a missile and a dark ball are launched at Rayman, but they collide into each other 1 inch from Rayman's back*
Rayman: Why haven't I still escaped? Well, I musn't dawdle! *escapes*
Razorbeard: Hey you moron! Watch it!
Mr. Dark: Oh yeah,? You want, to play it, rough?
Razorbeard: You'll see. I'll conquer the world and make you my slave!
*Razorbeard's ship flies into the sky*
Mr. Dark: Now I'll, look at this, map, and find out, where I can, invade!
*Mr. Dark flies into the sky*
Author: Hey, Mr. Dark can't fly!
*Mr. Dark falls to the ground*
Mr. Dark: Damn you, author!
MEANWHILE, AT THE TEENSIE TAVERN
Rayman: And then there was this bright flash behind my head and I escaped!
Drunk Teensie 1: *hic* Wow, dat's a grate storee.
Drunk Teensie 2: Ur da koolest *hic* guy in da wurld *hic*
Rayman: Thanks you guys! I'm always glad I can trust you drunks!
Bartender: Eh Rayman, when you've been in this business as long as I have, you ain't seen nothin' yet.
Rayman: Huh? I was never a bartender in my life!
Bartender: What about that time at Joe's place when you had to pay off a debt for sinking one of his buoys?
Rayman: That doesn't count.
Drunk Teensie 1: Kum get waisted wit us!
Rayman: uh. I'm sorry guys, I can't get wasted ever. *All chatter and activity in the tavern stops and all eyes look at Rayman*
Bartender: Wha? What did you just say?
Rayman: It's true! Because I have no esophagus, the beer can't get to my torso, so I can't ever get drunk!
Drunk Teensie 2: But wat abowt dat tiem yu dansed nakid on da pul tabel?
Rayman: I was acting. And I'll always regret doing that.
Bartender: You're hearby banned from the Teensie Tavern forever! Get out and never come back!
Rayman: Great. First I have three of my evil nemesises after me, and now I get kicked out of the only place where people actually listened to my amazing stories! What else could go wrong?
MEANWHILE, AT ANDRE'S HIDEOUT (FORMERLY HOODLUM HEADQUARTERS)
Andre: Come, my brothers! Our first priority is to build a new factory to replace the one that Rayman exploded. Then, we will establish communications with those other two guys and together, we will rule this world!
Black Lum 1: Huh? Wat doez communications meen?
Andre: And the stupidity problem of you minions will be solved when I fix the bugs out of the Blood Gusher 2000! I tested that thing on Globox back in the old factory and it sure worked well, but it wore off after a while. I will build a Hoodlum army that's so intelligent that we will probably overcome those other two puddles of goo and that Rayfreak! Who needs them when we will be clearly superior!
All Black Lums: Smartr? YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MEANWHILE, ON RAZORBEARD'S PIRATE SHIP
Razorbeard: I've called this meeting to discuss a very serious matter. We need to overcome that Dark thing and that black fuzzball in order to achieve complete world domination. Any ideas?
Pirate 1: We could invent a nuke?
Razorbeard: Nah, nuclear fallout makes my joints all slippery.
Pirate 2: We could take Rayman hostage and steal his powers? Razorbeard: Well I, hey! We tried that in Rayman 2! But did it work? Noooooooo! Terminate the fool!
*Pirate 2 is blasted to pieces*
Pirate 3: We could stand here doing nothing?
Razorbeard: Capitol idea! Eliminate him!
*Pirate 3 is blasted to pieces*
Razorbeard: Well, it's all up to you.The other three have been destroyed.
Pirate 1: I wasn't!
Razorbeard: Oh yeah, I forgot about you. *Slices Pirate 1's head off* What's your suggestion?
Pirate 4: Well, I propose that.
MEANWHILE, WHERE MR. DARK IS
Razorbeard: Hey, we didn't finish!
Author: We talked about this. NEVER butt into someone else's scene! *hits the Mute button for "Razorbeard"*
AHEM. MEANWHILE, WHERE MR. DARK IS
Mr. Dark: This is, bad.
*Mr. Dark is inside a rotting jail cell with the sign "Wimp!" posted in large red letters across from the cell*
TO BE CONTINUED.
Andre: Whahahahahaha! Someone hand me a mirror so that jerk can see the expression on his own face!
Razorbeard: Look at the mighty Rayman now!
Mr. Dark: Hahaha,hahah,ahahaha,ha.
Rayman: Okay. I tried the negocations. But you forced me to use force!
Andre: Ooh, nice words there. Forceful force!
Razorbeard: I'll shoot him with my science team's latest invention, the UberRazor Missile!
Mr. Dark: No. I'll kill, him with my, SuperDarkBa,ll.
Razorbeard: Now wait just one minute here! I get to kill him!
Mr. Dark: No. You're wrong. I',ll kill him,!
Razorbeard: Eat missile!
*Razorbeard launches an UberRazor Missile at Mr. Dark, but misses*
Mr. Dark: Hahahaha, what terrib,le aim!
*Mr. Dark throws a SuperDarkBall at Razorbeard. The two are now locked in a bitter missile-ball battle*
Andre: Bah! Who needs them! I'll take care of you!
Rayman: Heh. What can you do to me!
Andre: You think I can't fight? Well, you're right! I can't! Bye!
*Andre flies into the sky*
Rayman: Now I'll take advantage of Razorbeard's ignorance and Mr. Dark's stupitidy to escape!
Razorbeard: *still launching missiles* Aha! Rayman has his back turned. Time to blast him!
Mr. Dark: Wow. Rayman has, his back turned,. Time to shoot h,im! *Both a missile and a dark ball are launched at Rayman, but they collide into each other 1 inch from Rayman's back*
Rayman: Why haven't I still escaped? Well, I musn't dawdle! *escapes*
Razorbeard: Hey you moron! Watch it!
Mr. Dark: Oh yeah,? You want, to play it, rough?
Razorbeard: You'll see. I'll conquer the world and make you my slave!
*Razorbeard's ship flies into the sky*
Mr. Dark: Now I'll, look at this, map, and find out, where I can, invade!
*Mr. Dark flies into the sky*
Author: Hey, Mr. Dark can't fly!
*Mr. Dark falls to the ground*
Mr. Dark: Damn you, author!
MEANWHILE, AT THE TEENSIE TAVERN
Rayman: And then there was this bright flash behind my head and I escaped!
Drunk Teensie 1: *hic* Wow, dat's a grate storee.
Drunk Teensie 2: Ur da koolest *hic* guy in da wurld *hic*
Rayman: Thanks you guys! I'm always glad I can trust you drunks!
Bartender: Eh Rayman, when you've been in this business as long as I have, you ain't seen nothin' yet.
Rayman: Huh? I was never a bartender in my life!
Bartender: What about that time at Joe's place when you had to pay off a debt for sinking one of his buoys?
Rayman: That doesn't count.
Drunk Teensie 1: Kum get waisted wit us!
Rayman: uh. I'm sorry guys, I can't get wasted ever. *All chatter and activity in the tavern stops and all eyes look at Rayman*
Bartender: Wha? What did you just say?
Rayman: It's true! Because I have no esophagus, the beer can't get to my torso, so I can't ever get drunk!
Drunk Teensie 2: But wat abowt dat tiem yu dansed nakid on da pul tabel?
Rayman: I was acting. And I'll always regret doing that.
Bartender: You're hearby banned from the Teensie Tavern forever! Get out and never come back!
Rayman: Great. First I have three of my evil nemesises after me, and now I get kicked out of the only place where people actually listened to my amazing stories! What else could go wrong?
MEANWHILE, AT ANDRE'S HIDEOUT (FORMERLY HOODLUM HEADQUARTERS)
Andre: Come, my brothers! Our first priority is to build a new factory to replace the one that Rayman exploded. Then, we will establish communications with those other two guys and together, we will rule this world!
Black Lum 1: Huh? Wat doez communications meen?
Andre: And the stupidity problem of you minions will be solved when I fix the bugs out of the Blood Gusher 2000! I tested that thing on Globox back in the old factory and it sure worked well, but it wore off after a while. I will build a Hoodlum army that's so intelligent that we will probably overcome those other two puddles of goo and that Rayfreak! Who needs them when we will be clearly superior!
All Black Lums: Smartr? YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MEANWHILE, ON RAZORBEARD'S PIRATE SHIP
Razorbeard: I've called this meeting to discuss a very serious matter. We need to overcome that Dark thing and that black fuzzball in order to achieve complete world domination. Any ideas?
Pirate 1: We could invent a nuke?
Razorbeard: Nah, nuclear fallout makes my joints all slippery.
Pirate 2: We could take Rayman hostage and steal his powers? Razorbeard: Well I, hey! We tried that in Rayman 2! But did it work? Noooooooo! Terminate the fool!
*Pirate 2 is blasted to pieces*
Pirate 3: We could stand here doing nothing?
Razorbeard: Capitol idea! Eliminate him!
*Pirate 3 is blasted to pieces*
Razorbeard: Well, it's all up to you.The other three have been destroyed.
Pirate 1: I wasn't!
Razorbeard: Oh yeah, I forgot about you. *Slices Pirate 1's head off* What's your suggestion?
Pirate 4: Well, I propose that.
MEANWHILE, WHERE MR. DARK IS
Razorbeard: Hey, we didn't finish!
Author: We talked about this. NEVER butt into someone else's scene! *hits the Mute button for "Razorbeard"*
AHEM. MEANWHILE, WHERE MR. DARK IS
Mr. Dark: This is, bad.
*Mr. Dark is inside a rotting jail cell with the sign "Wimp!" posted in large red letters across from the cell*
TO BE CONTINUED.