CHAPTER 6: It's All a Game (part 1)
*Globox, Grand Mimimus and Teensies 1 through 3 enter Razoff's mansion*
Globox: Huh. This place seems pretty empty.
Teensie 1: Wow, this place sure is huge.
Grand Minimus: But doesn't it seem quite strange all the rooms are blocked off? *slam* And the door behind us just slammed shut???
Globox: It might be a trap.
Author: Acutally, it isn't. You're the first five contestants on the Razoff Manor Challenge! Every room, except for the lobby, has been completely changed in order to give you the most exciting and danger, er, exhilarating moments of your life!
Teensie 2: What the hell? You have to be kidding me!
Author: Your challenge is to recover the five silver keys hidden in the mansion. You might even find characters here that you might have seen before previously! So tread carefully!
Globox: Hey, just who are you anyway? And where is your voice coming from?
Author: Due to a recent lawsuit, I can't reveal that information. Now, just to avoid making your quest easy, the five of you will have to split up! There are four main doors in the lobby, but to the one who is the most brave, you can try the basement. DUMDUMDUMDUM!
Grand Minimus: Alright already.
Author: NO GO BEFORE I BURN THIS STUPID PLACE DOWN!
*The four Teensies run into the four doors, which immediately slam shut*
Globox: *sigh* Looks like it's the basement for me.
WHERE TEENSIE 1 IS
Teensie 1: Uh, okay. I can't see a thing. Could you light up the room perhaps?
???: Find the silver key, little one!
Teensie 1: Huh? Who said that?
???: Just find the stupid key!
Teensie 1: Man, this is going to be hard. Hey, wait a sec. I'm a Teensie from the Heart of the World, so I can make stuff appear!
*Teensie 1 causes a flame to appear in the middle of the room, therefore lighting it up*
Teensie 1: Whoa. Good thing I could have done that. There's spikes and acid everywhere! Now where's that mysterious silver key?
TEENSIE 1 HAS CHEATED. SCORE: -1
Teensie 1: Huh? I did so not cheat!
TEENSIE 1 HAS LIED. SCORE: -2
Teensie 1: Now wait just a second here!
TEENSIE 1 IS A JERK. SCORE: -1000002
Teensie 1: Fine, be that way. Now where's that key?
*Teensie 1 spots the key in a corner of the room. As he goes to pick it up, ??? emerges*
???: It's me!
Teensie 1: Who?
???: Me! Moskito!
Teensie 1: Uh.
Moskito: I said it's me! Moskito!
Teensie 1: Do I know you?
Moskito: Oh, come on! Rayman 1, the Enchanted Forest!
Teensie 1: You see, I don't know you because I didn't exist back in Rayman 1.
Moskito: You didn't exist? Why? WHY? WHY DID HE PLAY SUCH A CRUEL JOKE ON ME! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *flies into a spike and drops into an acid pool* Remember me as a patriot!
Teensie 1: Um, okay. That was easy.
*Teensie 1 grabs the key and pockets it. The doors open*
Author: Congratulations, Teensie 1! You found the first key with a point total of negative one million and two! Here's your prize: A lifetime supply of Begoniax's toenail clippings!
Teensie 1: OH DEAR GOD!!!!!!!!! *runs away back into the lobby*
WELL, TEENSIE 1 GOT WHAT HE DESERVED. LET'S CHECK UP ON TEENSIE 3
Teensie 3: Now now we can talk about this!
Axel: No we can't. I am gonna smash you so bad!
Teensie 3: Look. Just because you're the guardian of Polokus' first mask and there's a giant pool of freezing water surrounding us doesn't mean I need to get smashed!
Axel: Oh what a touching story! You think that will save you?
Teensie 3: Uh, no?
Axel: Exactly! *charges towards Teensie 3*
Teensie 3: I want my mommy!
*Just as Axel is about to ram Teensie 3, he trips and falls on his head*
Axel: Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! *explodes*
AXEL HAS JUST COMMITED SUICIDE. SCORE: 56
Teensie 3: Huh? Wha? 56! Oh yeah! I rule!
Author: But it doesn't count if you don't find the silver key!
Teensie 3: Actually, I can just take my normal key and spray paint it silver. There's nothing in the rules that prevents it!
Author: Aw! Don't do that! Stupid loopholes in the damn rulebook. *sigh* For a score of positive fifty-six, here's your prize: A snowball in the face.
*splat*
TEENSIE 3 IS A JERK AS WELL. LET'S SEE WHAT THE BRAVE TEENSIE 2 IS DOING
Teensie 2: No need to. I just got the key while you were wasting your time there.
Author: But? How?
Teensie 2: Easy. I layed waste to about a million Toons in a couple of minutes. Heh.
TEENSIE 2 COULDN'T HELP HIMSELF. SCORE: 0
Teensie 2: Huh? All that and I end up with a score of zero?
Author: Hahahaha! Here's your prize: NOTHING!
Teensie 2: Why you stupid little *mutters swear words under his breath*
TEENSIE 2 IS A POTTYMOUTH. SCO Teensie 2: NONONONONO I TAKE IT BACK!!!
THAT'S BETTER. I WAS GOING TO GIVE HIM POSITIVE TWELVE QUADRILLION POINTS, BUT WHO CARES. LET'S SEE WHAT GOOD OLD GRAND MINUMUS IS DOING.
*silence*
Author: Aw jeez, is the camera in the lava pit broken again!? Sheesh! I knew we should have fireproofed it!
DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTES, WE'LL JUST ASSUME GRAND MIMIMUS GOT THE KEY AND WON A HALF USED KETCHUP PACKET. NOW, LET'S CHECK ON THE BRAVE GLOBOX IN THE BASEMENT
Globox: Huh? It doesn't seem any different.
Razoff: That's what you think. I will finally hunt you once and for all!
Globox: Heheheheh. Oh crap.
*Globox runs around Razoff's basement avoiding his shots*
Razoff: The trap has sprung! Soon, I will have a nice, fat blue rug for my clock room!
Begoniax: Now honey, we talked about this. Lay off the hunting and get into bed!
Razoff: Aw! But it's only eight o'clock!
Begoniax: You're already three hours past your curfew you disobedient brat!
*Begoniax grabs Razoff and caries him off*
Razoff: Globox! Help me! Get me away from this madwoman!
Globox: Tell you what. I'll shoo her away if you give me the silver key.
Razoff: Fine! I'll do anything!
*Razoff throws the final silver key at Globox, who then picks it up and walks away*
Globox: Hahahahaha! Sucker!
Razoff: No! NO! HELP ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
YOU BETRAYED RAZOFF. SCORE: 3940930965012435089056879068094960950795
Globox: All right! I'm the best!
Author: Your prize is: A free luxury Funkyboard complete with autopilot and butt massager!
Globox: Cool!
*Globox walks into the lobby where he meets up with the other four Teensies*
Author: Good job. Now that you have all five keys, it's time to go onto the final challenge!
Teensie 2: What final challenge? We've been everywhere in the mansion!
Author: Not everywhere!
*A trapdoor opens and all five characters drop into it*
???: It's time to end their pathetic quest right here. I myself will destroy them and tear them limb from limb Then they'll know how it feels!
TO BE CONTINUED
*Globox, Grand Mimimus and Teensies 1 through 3 enter Razoff's mansion*
Globox: Huh. This place seems pretty empty.
Teensie 1: Wow, this place sure is huge.
Grand Minimus: But doesn't it seem quite strange all the rooms are blocked off? *slam* And the door behind us just slammed shut???
Globox: It might be a trap.
Author: Acutally, it isn't. You're the first five contestants on the Razoff Manor Challenge! Every room, except for the lobby, has been completely changed in order to give you the most exciting and danger, er, exhilarating moments of your life!
Teensie 2: What the hell? You have to be kidding me!
Author: Your challenge is to recover the five silver keys hidden in the mansion. You might even find characters here that you might have seen before previously! So tread carefully!
Globox: Hey, just who are you anyway? And where is your voice coming from?
Author: Due to a recent lawsuit, I can't reveal that information. Now, just to avoid making your quest easy, the five of you will have to split up! There are four main doors in the lobby, but to the one who is the most brave, you can try the basement. DUMDUMDUMDUM!
Grand Minimus: Alright already.
Author: NO GO BEFORE I BURN THIS STUPID PLACE DOWN!
*The four Teensies run into the four doors, which immediately slam shut*
Globox: *sigh* Looks like it's the basement for me.
WHERE TEENSIE 1 IS
Teensie 1: Uh, okay. I can't see a thing. Could you light up the room perhaps?
???: Find the silver key, little one!
Teensie 1: Huh? Who said that?
???: Just find the stupid key!
Teensie 1: Man, this is going to be hard. Hey, wait a sec. I'm a Teensie from the Heart of the World, so I can make stuff appear!
*Teensie 1 causes a flame to appear in the middle of the room, therefore lighting it up*
Teensie 1: Whoa. Good thing I could have done that. There's spikes and acid everywhere! Now where's that mysterious silver key?
TEENSIE 1 HAS CHEATED. SCORE: -1
Teensie 1: Huh? I did so not cheat!
TEENSIE 1 HAS LIED. SCORE: -2
Teensie 1: Now wait just a second here!
TEENSIE 1 IS A JERK. SCORE: -1000002
Teensie 1: Fine, be that way. Now where's that key?
*Teensie 1 spots the key in a corner of the room. As he goes to pick it up, ??? emerges*
???: It's me!
Teensie 1: Who?
???: Me! Moskito!
Teensie 1: Uh.
Moskito: I said it's me! Moskito!
Teensie 1: Do I know you?
Moskito: Oh, come on! Rayman 1, the Enchanted Forest!
Teensie 1: You see, I don't know you because I didn't exist back in Rayman 1.
Moskito: You didn't exist? Why? WHY? WHY DID HE PLAY SUCH A CRUEL JOKE ON ME! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *flies into a spike and drops into an acid pool* Remember me as a patriot!
Teensie 1: Um, okay. That was easy.
*Teensie 1 grabs the key and pockets it. The doors open*
Author: Congratulations, Teensie 1! You found the first key with a point total of negative one million and two! Here's your prize: A lifetime supply of Begoniax's toenail clippings!
Teensie 1: OH DEAR GOD!!!!!!!!! *runs away back into the lobby*
WELL, TEENSIE 1 GOT WHAT HE DESERVED. LET'S CHECK UP ON TEENSIE 3
Teensie 3: Now now we can talk about this!
Axel: No we can't. I am gonna smash you so bad!
Teensie 3: Look. Just because you're the guardian of Polokus' first mask and there's a giant pool of freezing water surrounding us doesn't mean I need to get smashed!
Axel: Oh what a touching story! You think that will save you?
Teensie 3: Uh, no?
Axel: Exactly! *charges towards Teensie 3*
Teensie 3: I want my mommy!
*Just as Axel is about to ram Teensie 3, he trips and falls on his head*
Axel: Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! *explodes*
AXEL HAS JUST COMMITED SUICIDE. SCORE: 56
Teensie 3: Huh? Wha? 56! Oh yeah! I rule!
Author: But it doesn't count if you don't find the silver key!
Teensie 3: Actually, I can just take my normal key and spray paint it silver. There's nothing in the rules that prevents it!
Author: Aw! Don't do that! Stupid loopholes in the damn rulebook. *sigh* For a score of positive fifty-six, here's your prize: A snowball in the face.
*splat*
TEENSIE 3 IS A JERK AS WELL. LET'S SEE WHAT THE BRAVE TEENSIE 2 IS DOING
Teensie 2: No need to. I just got the key while you were wasting your time there.
Author: But? How?
Teensie 2: Easy. I layed waste to about a million Toons in a couple of minutes. Heh.
TEENSIE 2 COULDN'T HELP HIMSELF. SCORE: 0
Teensie 2: Huh? All that and I end up with a score of zero?
Author: Hahahaha! Here's your prize: NOTHING!
Teensie 2: Why you stupid little *mutters swear words under his breath*
TEENSIE 2 IS A POTTYMOUTH. SCO Teensie 2: NONONONONO I TAKE IT BACK!!!
THAT'S BETTER. I WAS GOING TO GIVE HIM POSITIVE TWELVE QUADRILLION POINTS, BUT WHO CARES. LET'S SEE WHAT GOOD OLD GRAND MINUMUS IS DOING.
*silence*
Author: Aw jeez, is the camera in the lava pit broken again!? Sheesh! I knew we should have fireproofed it!
DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTES, WE'LL JUST ASSUME GRAND MIMIMUS GOT THE KEY AND WON A HALF USED KETCHUP PACKET. NOW, LET'S CHECK ON THE BRAVE GLOBOX IN THE BASEMENT
Globox: Huh? It doesn't seem any different.
Razoff: That's what you think. I will finally hunt you once and for all!
Globox: Heheheheh. Oh crap.
*Globox runs around Razoff's basement avoiding his shots*
Razoff: The trap has sprung! Soon, I will have a nice, fat blue rug for my clock room!
Begoniax: Now honey, we talked about this. Lay off the hunting and get into bed!
Razoff: Aw! But it's only eight o'clock!
Begoniax: You're already three hours past your curfew you disobedient brat!
*Begoniax grabs Razoff and caries him off*
Razoff: Globox! Help me! Get me away from this madwoman!
Globox: Tell you what. I'll shoo her away if you give me the silver key.
Razoff: Fine! I'll do anything!
*Razoff throws the final silver key at Globox, who then picks it up and walks away*
Globox: Hahahahaha! Sucker!
Razoff: No! NO! HELP ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
YOU BETRAYED RAZOFF. SCORE: 3940930965012435089056879068094960950795
Globox: All right! I'm the best!
Author: Your prize is: A free luxury Funkyboard complete with autopilot and butt massager!
Globox: Cool!
*Globox walks into the lobby where he meets up with the other four Teensies*
Author: Good job. Now that you have all five keys, it's time to go onto the final challenge!
Teensie 2: What final challenge? We've been everywhere in the mansion!
Author: Not everywhere!
*A trapdoor opens and all five characters drop into it*
???: It's time to end their pathetic quest right here. I myself will destroy them and tear them limb from limb Then they'll know how it feels!
TO BE CONTINUED