Chapter Fourteen

Hold Me

Returning to normal took a long time. Three months after the trial she still was struggling to sleep some nights, but most of the evenings found her curled up in her bed…hugging her pillow … one part of her happy that her life was getting back to the way things were before the attack…the other part of her wishing her pillow was Woody.

They still worked together. He was asking for her as the answering ME whenever they were on call together. They laughed and joked together again. And he could once more put his hand on the small of her back to lead her around a crime scene…or hold her hand to help her down an embankment. She no longer flinched at his touch or anyone else's.

Nigel had given her a standing invitation at his apartment…if she was ever frightened, all she had to do was give him a call and he would come and get her.

She never had to take him up on his offer.

Woody continued to be relieved and amazed at her progress, although she remained more cautious than she ever was before the attack – not necessarily a bad thing. Her attacker had been given life without the possibility of parole. So she didn't have to face him or Daniel Norwood again, nor being present to protest his parole -- ever. Woody was eternally grateful for that.

And he continued to treat her with exquisite gentleness and tenderness, making sure her recovery was complete. She knew it. She reveled in it…but she still had no idea what place she held in his life. He never mentioned their previous relationship…and made no mention of any in the future. She was trying to make herself accept it…that it was over between them, except for a working camaraderie.

Until the dinner party.

Woody had decided to have a get together at his apartment to ring in the New Year. Christmas had found many of them working during that holiday, so most of them had New Year's off from work. It was nothing fancy….pizza, Woody's spaghetti, beer, salad, and of course, champagne to ring in the New Year's with. Jordan had been invited, but nearly waffled out at the last minute. She still struggled with social functions….and she dreaded the thought of going out to her car after midnight, driving home, and then walking back through her parking garage alone at that hour.

Woody knew it. "Don't worry. I'll pick you up, take you home, and walk you to your door," he had told her.

"That's too much trouble, Woody. Especially since you have to get ready for the party…and clean up afterwards."

"I'll make a deal with you. You stay and help me clean up afterwards, and I'll deliver you home safe and sound."

"I don't know…."

"Come on, Jordan. I really want you to come. It won't be the same without you." He gave her his best smile…dimples and all.

She felt her knees melt. It was a lost cause. "Sure," she finally agreed.

So they had gotten together with Bug, Lily, Sydney, Nigel, and Santana on New Year's Eve, eating and finally toasting in the New Year with champagne and Dick Clark. Soon after everyone filed out but Jordan. She began to stack the dishwasher and sweep the kitchen as Woody ran the vacuum. When the last dish was rinsed, the last stray glass washed, and the trash was emptied, she stifled a yawn and caught Woody doing the same.

"I guess you need to take me home so we both can crash," she chuckled.

"What about just staying here tonight? I mean, you've done it before…I'm beat and so are you." And he looked it. Jordan still worried about his back, even though the doctors had pretty much given him a clean bill of health.

"Is your back bothering you again?"

"No…at least not much."

"That does it. I'll stay so you can rest. And on the condition I take the couch and you take the bed."

Woody shook his head. "No…that's not the gentlemanly thing to do. You take the bed."

"You heard me."

"And you heard me."

"Don't be so stubborn…"

"And don't be so pig-headed. My couch sleeps just fine."

"Then you should have no problem with me spending the night on it."

Woody gave her an exasperated look. Then an idea hit him. "Tell you what. Let's both sit down and watch the rest of Dick Clark's New Year's program. Whoever falls asleep first gets the couch. The other gets the bed."

"We both may be up all night then."

Woody laughed. "I don't think so. You look tired."

"And you obviously haven't looked in the mirror since this afternoon, Detective."

Woody plopped down on the couch and patted the cushion beside him. "C'mere." Jordan sat down and tried to turn her attention to the program on TV…but it was difficult. Woody had his arm draped over the back of the couch, not touching her shoulders, but tantalizingly close.

"Can I ask you something?" he said so softly she nearly thought she was imagining things.

"Sure."

"What caused you to snap out of it? I mean, snap out of the mind set you had before the trial? One day it appeared you were nearly scared to death…that you were allowing Norwood to grill you over the coals without fighting back. The next day, it was like you were daring him to."

Jordan turned slightly then and leaned back, her head nearly on his arm now so that she could look him in the eyes. "You did."

He looked at her in disbelief. "Me? What did I do?"

"It was what you said to me in the witness room…after the first day of my testimony. You told me…you said I was special and ….beautiful." She lowered her eyes shyly. "It had been so long since someone had told me that…but the way you said it sounded like you meant it…that it was true….it made me feel….normal again…despite the attack."

He gently lifted her chin so she was looking him in the eyes again. "It is true, Jordan. You are beautiful….and more special than you will ever know."

"Thanks….but I know that I'll never really be the same again…That I'm not….what I was before….everything."

He gave her a puzzled look. "What do you mean?"

"I know…I remember…the way you looked at me before….the truth is…I know I'm not beautiful anymore….not with everything that happened….and not with this." She traced the scar that was still visible on her neck.

Woody's eyes followed her movement, tracing the scar from where it started at the base of her neck and trailed as low as her shirt would allow. Then he looked her in the eyes again and shook his head. "No…I meant it. You're beautiful….this," he lightly following the scar with the tip of his index finger, "takes nothing away from your beauty or the fact that you are special."

"Woody, you don't have to…"

"I mean it…every word." He gently pushed the collar of her shirt aside, lowered his head, and softly kissed the offending line. "You are beautiful. And you are special….never forget that…and never let anyone take that away from you."

Jordan drew in a sharp breath at the contact of his lips against her skin. It had been years since she had experienced that intimate of a touch…and never with Woody….if she had been anxious about what her mind's and body's reaction would be when something that personal did occur, her concerns were instantly put at rest. Her soft sigh reassured Woody that he hadn't overstepped his boundaries. His arm slid around her waist and drew her nearer. "You are beautiful…and very special to me, Jordan. You always have been…even when I told you to get out of my life, I didn't mean it. Well, maybe I did at the time…" he smiled softly at her. "My macho, bad-assed self didn't want you to see me lying there helpless. But I never wanted you gone forever."

"Oh." She bit her lip. "So does this mean that we're friends again?"

Woody shook his head. "I hope not. I hope…as you continue to get your bearings….that we can be more than friends this time. And without the pressure of a friendship ring…or anything else. Just you and me…and wherever the road ahead takes us." He pulled her closer. "Is…that something you'd be interested in?"

Jordan nodded, not trusting her voice at first. "Yes…"

Woody gently brushed his lips to hers and pushed the hair out of her eyes. "Then…it's settled. And now…I'm bushed…and so are you….what say we can the couch and both share my bed tonight…"

"That sounds….wonderful."

Woody stood and pulled her up from where she was sitting. "And I promise…no funny business….we'll take as along as we need to…to…"

She cut him off with a finger to his lips. "Please….just hold me tonight? And we'll see where that takes us."