CHAPTER 32- ONE MORE MIKE VS. THE PERCUSSION SECTION THING
On the same day as the bassoon players' attempt to annihilate (OoO big word!!!!) the saxophone players, Mike came to a revelation: fighting a war with 2 different sections was too much for him. He decided to take a break from fighting with the percussionists for a little while. Later that day he called for a meeting between him and them.
"I want to tell you the reason I called you here," he began dramatically.
"I hope you called us here for a good reason cuz there are other things we could be doing right now," said Pat.
"Yeah I'm missing chess class for this," said Scott.
"Wow what a dork," Mike said under his breath. Then he raised his voice. "It is a good reason. I'm not calling myself weak or anything but I can't fight 2 sections at once. It's too stressful."
"So are you calling a surrender?" Lindsay asked.
"No. Just cuz I'm not fighting you anymore doesn't mean I'm not fighting you anymore," said Mike.
"Your statement shows no logic, and I know logic. I've been valedictorian of my grade since forever," said Scott.
"I don't know a good way to explain it!" Mike yelled, frustrated. "Can we just fight verbally or something?"
"Fine. But you have to admit that you're a wuss," said Pat.
"No way," said Mike. "Why don't we make one of those things?"
"Huh?" Pat asked.
"You know, one of those things where there's 2 people fighting but they don't want to actually fight so they make up a thing to fight each other but not fight each other?"
"You mean like a Non-Aggression Pact?" asked Scott.
"Yes! That's it!" said Mike.
"Well, ok. We could use some time off anyway," said Lindsay. "What do you think Pat?"
"Sounds good to me. Let's get started," said Pat.
AN HOUR LATER.....
"Done!" said Pat.
He set his pencil on the floor.
"Wait!" said Scott. "We must endorse it to make it official."
"What?" everyone else said.
"It means we have to sign it," said Scott.
"Oh yeah ok," everyone else said.
"I will sign first since it was my idea," said Mike.
"Who said you could sign it first? I'm the leader of the percussion section so I should sign it first," said Pat.
"Wait a minute, who died to make you leader?" Lindsay snapped.
"Who cares? Anyway, I'm more important than you and your pitiful percussion section so I'm signing first," said Mike.
"Hey do rock paper scissors or something," said Scott.
"Fine," said Mike and Pat glaring at each other. "Rock, paper, scissors SHOOT!"
"Ha, paper covers rock! I win! I win! Oh yeah, go me!" Mike did a happy dance.
"Well if you sign it first, then I'm not signing at all," snapped Pat.
"Same here," the rest of the percussion section agreed.
Mike lost his temper and went psycho.
"OH YEAH WELL FINE! WHAT GOOD IS A NON-AGGRESSION PACT IF NOBODY WILL SIGN THE DARN THING?" he yelled.
He picked up the Non-Aggression Pact and ripped it into a bunch of little pieces.
"HERE'S YOUR NON-AGGRESSION PACT!" he yelled, throwing the little pieces.
"HEY I WORKED HARD ON THAT!" Pat yelled.
"GET HIM!" the other percussionists yelled.
The percussion players chased Mike around the bandroom. After about 15 minutes of chasing Mike ran outside and the percussion players locked all the doors so he couldn't get back in the bandroom so he had to use the entrance by the office so he got written up for cutting class. When the percussionists found this out, they were very happy.
"Yes! Well done guys. It's great to work with such awesome people," said Pat. "It sure is awesome to be the leader of you guys."
"Like I said before, who died to make you leader?" asked Lindsay.
"Well, I am the principle player so that makes me the leader," said Pat.
"That's not necessarily true," said Scott.
"Are you challenging my power whiz kid?" Pat snapped.
"No, I'm just saying that being the principle player doesn't automatically make you the leader," said Scott.
"Well you're wrong," Pat snapped.
The percussionists started arguing. Eventually, they started attempting to beat the crap out of each other with all the percussion toys. Then the bell rang and they went to class. This marks the start of the percussionists' civil war.
On the same day as the bassoon players' attempt to annihilate (OoO big word!!!!) the saxophone players, Mike came to a revelation: fighting a war with 2 different sections was too much for him. He decided to take a break from fighting with the percussionists for a little while. Later that day he called for a meeting between him and them.
"I want to tell you the reason I called you here," he began dramatically.
"I hope you called us here for a good reason cuz there are other things we could be doing right now," said Pat.
"Yeah I'm missing chess class for this," said Scott.
"Wow what a dork," Mike said under his breath. Then he raised his voice. "It is a good reason. I'm not calling myself weak or anything but I can't fight 2 sections at once. It's too stressful."
"So are you calling a surrender?" Lindsay asked.
"No. Just cuz I'm not fighting you anymore doesn't mean I'm not fighting you anymore," said Mike.
"Your statement shows no logic, and I know logic. I've been valedictorian of my grade since forever," said Scott.
"I don't know a good way to explain it!" Mike yelled, frustrated. "Can we just fight verbally or something?"
"Fine. But you have to admit that you're a wuss," said Pat.
"No way," said Mike. "Why don't we make one of those things?"
"Huh?" Pat asked.
"You know, one of those things where there's 2 people fighting but they don't want to actually fight so they make up a thing to fight each other but not fight each other?"
"You mean like a Non-Aggression Pact?" asked Scott.
"Yes! That's it!" said Mike.
"Well, ok. We could use some time off anyway," said Lindsay. "What do you think Pat?"
"Sounds good to me. Let's get started," said Pat.
AN HOUR LATER.....
"Done!" said Pat.
He set his pencil on the floor.
"Wait!" said Scott. "We must endorse it to make it official."
"What?" everyone else said.
"It means we have to sign it," said Scott.
"Oh yeah ok," everyone else said.
"I will sign first since it was my idea," said Mike.
"Who said you could sign it first? I'm the leader of the percussion section so I should sign it first," said Pat.
"Wait a minute, who died to make you leader?" Lindsay snapped.
"Who cares? Anyway, I'm more important than you and your pitiful percussion section so I'm signing first," said Mike.
"Hey do rock paper scissors or something," said Scott.
"Fine," said Mike and Pat glaring at each other. "Rock, paper, scissors SHOOT!"
"Ha, paper covers rock! I win! I win! Oh yeah, go me!" Mike did a happy dance.
"Well if you sign it first, then I'm not signing at all," snapped Pat.
"Same here," the rest of the percussion section agreed.
Mike lost his temper and went psycho.
"OH YEAH WELL FINE! WHAT GOOD IS A NON-AGGRESSION PACT IF NOBODY WILL SIGN THE DARN THING?" he yelled.
He picked up the Non-Aggression Pact and ripped it into a bunch of little pieces.
"HERE'S YOUR NON-AGGRESSION PACT!" he yelled, throwing the little pieces.
"HEY I WORKED HARD ON THAT!" Pat yelled.
"GET HIM!" the other percussionists yelled.
The percussion players chased Mike around the bandroom. After about 15 minutes of chasing Mike ran outside and the percussion players locked all the doors so he couldn't get back in the bandroom so he had to use the entrance by the office so he got written up for cutting class. When the percussionists found this out, they were very happy.
"Yes! Well done guys. It's great to work with such awesome people," said Pat. "It sure is awesome to be the leader of you guys."
"Like I said before, who died to make you leader?" asked Lindsay.
"Well, I am the principle player so that makes me the leader," said Pat.
"That's not necessarily true," said Scott.
"Are you challenging my power whiz kid?" Pat snapped.
"No, I'm just saying that being the principle player doesn't automatically make you the leader," said Scott.
"Well you're wrong," Pat snapped.
The percussionists started arguing. Eventually, they started attempting to beat the crap out of each other with all the percussion toys. Then the bell rang and they went to class. This marks the start of the percussionists' civil war.