CHAPTER 8: The Hoodlums' Demise
*About the same time as Globox and the Teensies disappeared after Murfy's big mistake, the Hoodlums were working out a plan to destroy their enemies*
Hoodblaster 1: We need a different approach. That Destroyer Pirate is too powerful for us until we can get the Lavomatrixes ready, but we're on a shortage of washing machines.
Hoodstormer 1: If only Lord Andre would regain consciousness, he would think of a master plan to eliminate the pirates!
Hoodoo: I've been working on a recovery spell that should work. Let me try it out.
*The Hoodoo fires a green ball of magic at Andre. The black Lum rolls across the floor, still motionless*
Hoodstormer 2: Yeah great work!
*Andre continues to roll across the floor and falls into a storm drain*
Hoodstormer 2: YOU IDIOT!
Hoodoo: Uh, I guess it still needs tweaking.
Hoodboom: You need tweaking! *throws a bunch of explosives at the Hoodoo, killing him*
*Andre is caught in a draft and after several hours, is sucked up a narrow pipe, where he finally awakens*
Andre: What the? Last thing I remember I was fighting the Destroyer Pirate and, hey wait a sec, where the heck am I?
*A Teensie on the other end hears a muffled voice coming from his tap*
Teensie 4: Man, us Teensies sure get hairy sometimes. That voice though, it's kind of annoying. Nothing a needle can't fix!
*The Teensie shoves a hat pin into the faucet. He can now hear very loud, muffled screams*
Teensie 4: Shoot! Better get the plumber.
TWO HOURS LATER
Teensie 4: How did YOU get a job as a plumber?
Clark: Eh, budget cuts. What's the problem here?
Teensie 4: There's this thing that's blocking my tap. It's making very weird noises.
Clark: Oh, let me have a look. *notices all the hair in the sink* Does this have anything to do with it?
Teensie 4: That's just my stubble.
Clark: Oh my God. *mutters "This is the most disturbing thing I have ever seen since I saw Uglette doing that thing"* Er, anyway, I think I can fix your little problem here.
*Clark looks at the faucet, then rips the entire pipe clear from the wall*
Teensie 4: You know, you'll have to pay for repairs.
Clark: Nothing a little super glue can't fix. Aha! Here's your problem. A black Lum's caught in here. Let me just pull it out.
*Clark pulls Andre out of the pipe with little effort*
Teensie 4: ANDRE!
Andre: *gasp* Thank you.
Teensie 4: ARGH! SOUND THE ALARM! ANDRE IS IN THE BUILDING!
Clark: Can I get paid now?
MEANWHILE, BACK AT HOODLUM HEADQUARTERS
Heckler: Okay. I've composed a team of elite Hoodlums to lead our army in Lord Andre's absence. It will be composed of myself, that Hoodboom, that Hoodblaster and that Spinneroo.
Spinneroo: Oh no you don't! Get away from me!
Hoodblaster: Paranoid little thing. Anyway, what do you propose we do about the pirate situation?
Heckler: The Hoodlums we have are fine, sure, but they'll find a way to correct the Destroyer Pirate's horrible weakness. We need new weapons! Ones that can penetrate cobalt!
Hoodboom: How about an H2SO4 shooter?
Spinneroo: H2S. what?
Hoodboom: *sigh* a sulfuric acid shooter.
Heckler: Great idea! But, how do we make one?
Hoodblaster: And where the heck are we going to get sulfuric acid?
Hoodboom: We make it ourselves!
Spinneroo: Where do we get the components?
Hoodboom: You see, uh, I really,
Hoodblaster: Yeah, smarty pants! And how do we know we're getting the correct amount of molecules without an electron microscope?
Hoodboom: Guys, please,
Heckler: I've heard enough! Stop it! We'll figure it out eventually!
Spinneroo: Eventually? EVENTUALY??? That could take years! We don't have that time!
Hoodblaster: Whatever is good we fight with!
Hoodboom: Come on man! We need new, imaginative weapons!
Hoodblaster: Enough! *fires at the Hoodboom, but the Heckler jumps in front of the shot, blocking it*
Spinneroo: Oh, you're siding with him now!
Heckler: This behavior is unacceptable! You must be punished! *fires his cannon at the Spinneroo, who simply gets pushed back a bit*
Hoodblaster: You moron!
Hoodboom: You want a piece of me?
*All the Hoodlums begin to attack each other. But, shortly after the little battle starts, the Heckler hits a pipe leading straight to the main factory reactor, rupturing it*
Alarm: WARNING! COOLING UNIT CRITICAL! EXPLOSION IMMINENT IN TWENTY-SEVEN SECONDS!
Hoodblaster: Now you've done it! Let's get out of here before this place explodes!
Heckler: I'm sorry fellas, it's just I get so mad when you talk to me like that!
Hoodboom: Well, we're too far away from the main exit, so let's make our last seconds a good one.
Alarm: EXPLOSION IN NINETEEN SECONDS!
Spinneroo: I'm so sorry, man.
Heckler: Me too.
*All the Hoodlums in the command room give themselves a big group hug. Meanwhile, the rest of the Hoodlums are in a downright panic*
Alarm: EXPLOSION IN TWELVE SECONDS!
Slapdash: Oh man, we gotta get out of here!
Hoodstormer: We can't! The exits are all shut off by falling rubble!
Alarm: EXPLOSION IN EIGHT SECONDS!
Hoodstormer: Wait, I have an idea. Drop the puncher and grab onto me! We'll escape through that hole in the roof!
*The Slapdash abandons his weapon and clings onto the Hoodstormer. The two fly out of the hole*
Alarm: EXPLOSION IN TWO SECONDS!
*All the Hoodlums give one last scream before the reactor core fails and explodes. The Slapdash and Hoodstormer both watch from a safe point away from the factory as the mighty headquarters of the Hoodlums burns and collapses. No Hoodlums trapped inside the factory even had a chance of survival, and the black Lums controlling them had no escape route either*
Hoodstormer: Surely this is the work of anarchy.
Slapdash: If only Lord Andre was here.
MEANWHILE, ABOARD RAZORBEARD'S PIRATE SHIP
Pirate 4: Sir! We have just received word that the Hoodlum factory is destroyed and all its soldiers burned!
Razorbeard: Huh? *jumps in the air* WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Break out the oil and gold shiner, we're staying up all night!
TO BE CONTINUED
*About the same time as Globox and the Teensies disappeared after Murfy's big mistake, the Hoodlums were working out a plan to destroy their enemies*
Hoodblaster 1: We need a different approach. That Destroyer Pirate is too powerful for us until we can get the Lavomatrixes ready, but we're on a shortage of washing machines.
Hoodstormer 1: If only Lord Andre would regain consciousness, he would think of a master plan to eliminate the pirates!
Hoodoo: I've been working on a recovery spell that should work. Let me try it out.
*The Hoodoo fires a green ball of magic at Andre. The black Lum rolls across the floor, still motionless*
Hoodstormer 2: Yeah great work!
*Andre continues to roll across the floor and falls into a storm drain*
Hoodstormer 2: YOU IDIOT!
Hoodoo: Uh, I guess it still needs tweaking.
Hoodboom: You need tweaking! *throws a bunch of explosives at the Hoodoo, killing him*
*Andre is caught in a draft and after several hours, is sucked up a narrow pipe, where he finally awakens*
Andre: What the? Last thing I remember I was fighting the Destroyer Pirate and, hey wait a sec, where the heck am I?
*A Teensie on the other end hears a muffled voice coming from his tap*
Teensie 4: Man, us Teensies sure get hairy sometimes. That voice though, it's kind of annoying. Nothing a needle can't fix!
*The Teensie shoves a hat pin into the faucet. He can now hear very loud, muffled screams*
Teensie 4: Shoot! Better get the plumber.
TWO HOURS LATER
Teensie 4: How did YOU get a job as a plumber?
Clark: Eh, budget cuts. What's the problem here?
Teensie 4: There's this thing that's blocking my tap. It's making very weird noises.
Clark: Oh, let me have a look. *notices all the hair in the sink* Does this have anything to do with it?
Teensie 4: That's just my stubble.
Clark: Oh my God. *mutters "This is the most disturbing thing I have ever seen since I saw Uglette doing that thing"* Er, anyway, I think I can fix your little problem here.
*Clark looks at the faucet, then rips the entire pipe clear from the wall*
Teensie 4: You know, you'll have to pay for repairs.
Clark: Nothing a little super glue can't fix. Aha! Here's your problem. A black Lum's caught in here. Let me just pull it out.
*Clark pulls Andre out of the pipe with little effort*
Teensie 4: ANDRE!
Andre: *gasp* Thank you.
Teensie 4: ARGH! SOUND THE ALARM! ANDRE IS IN THE BUILDING!
Clark: Can I get paid now?
MEANWHILE, BACK AT HOODLUM HEADQUARTERS
Heckler: Okay. I've composed a team of elite Hoodlums to lead our army in Lord Andre's absence. It will be composed of myself, that Hoodboom, that Hoodblaster and that Spinneroo.
Spinneroo: Oh no you don't! Get away from me!
Hoodblaster: Paranoid little thing. Anyway, what do you propose we do about the pirate situation?
Heckler: The Hoodlums we have are fine, sure, but they'll find a way to correct the Destroyer Pirate's horrible weakness. We need new weapons! Ones that can penetrate cobalt!
Hoodboom: How about an H2SO4 shooter?
Spinneroo: H2S. what?
Hoodboom: *sigh* a sulfuric acid shooter.
Heckler: Great idea! But, how do we make one?
Hoodblaster: And where the heck are we going to get sulfuric acid?
Hoodboom: We make it ourselves!
Spinneroo: Where do we get the components?
Hoodboom: You see, uh, I really,
Hoodblaster: Yeah, smarty pants! And how do we know we're getting the correct amount of molecules without an electron microscope?
Hoodboom: Guys, please,
Heckler: I've heard enough! Stop it! We'll figure it out eventually!
Spinneroo: Eventually? EVENTUALY??? That could take years! We don't have that time!
Hoodblaster: Whatever is good we fight with!
Hoodboom: Come on man! We need new, imaginative weapons!
Hoodblaster: Enough! *fires at the Hoodboom, but the Heckler jumps in front of the shot, blocking it*
Spinneroo: Oh, you're siding with him now!
Heckler: This behavior is unacceptable! You must be punished! *fires his cannon at the Spinneroo, who simply gets pushed back a bit*
Hoodblaster: You moron!
Hoodboom: You want a piece of me?
*All the Hoodlums begin to attack each other. But, shortly after the little battle starts, the Heckler hits a pipe leading straight to the main factory reactor, rupturing it*
Alarm: WARNING! COOLING UNIT CRITICAL! EXPLOSION IMMINENT IN TWENTY-SEVEN SECONDS!
Hoodblaster: Now you've done it! Let's get out of here before this place explodes!
Heckler: I'm sorry fellas, it's just I get so mad when you talk to me like that!
Hoodboom: Well, we're too far away from the main exit, so let's make our last seconds a good one.
Alarm: EXPLOSION IN NINETEEN SECONDS!
Spinneroo: I'm so sorry, man.
Heckler: Me too.
*All the Hoodlums in the command room give themselves a big group hug. Meanwhile, the rest of the Hoodlums are in a downright panic*
Alarm: EXPLOSION IN TWELVE SECONDS!
Slapdash: Oh man, we gotta get out of here!
Hoodstormer: We can't! The exits are all shut off by falling rubble!
Alarm: EXPLOSION IN EIGHT SECONDS!
Hoodstormer: Wait, I have an idea. Drop the puncher and grab onto me! We'll escape through that hole in the roof!
*The Slapdash abandons his weapon and clings onto the Hoodstormer. The two fly out of the hole*
Alarm: EXPLOSION IN TWO SECONDS!
*All the Hoodlums give one last scream before the reactor core fails and explodes. The Slapdash and Hoodstormer both watch from a safe point away from the factory as the mighty headquarters of the Hoodlums burns and collapses. No Hoodlums trapped inside the factory even had a chance of survival, and the black Lums controlling them had no escape route either*
Hoodstormer: Surely this is the work of anarchy.
Slapdash: If only Lord Andre was here.
MEANWHILE, ABOARD RAZORBEARD'S PIRATE SHIP
Pirate 4: Sir! We have just received word that the Hoodlum factory is destroyed and all its soldiers burned!
Razorbeard: Huh? *jumps in the air* WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Break out the oil and gold shiner, we're staying up all night!
TO BE CONTINUED