CHAPTER 11: Temporal Time Travel Tremors
Globox: What do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I do what do I-
-Murfy appears and smacks Globox in the face-
Globox: AAH! What in the… how'd you escape from that cage?
Murfy: The door was unlocked.
Globox: Erm…
Murfy: Guess those Dark Spirits downgraded them. I even heard one start crying about an illegal operation and a fatal error in colonel 32, whatever that may be.
Globox: Huh, really? Anyway, we need to get to the Heart and contact Polokus to get rid of these guys! I know a secret entrance, so follow me!
-Globox and Murfy fly towards and roof of the Fairy Council. Meanwhile, we join Ray--
Globox: You know what? I just realized I can't fly.
Murfy: Uh-oh.
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Murfy: Um, hello?
Globox: Nothing's happening.
Murfy: This is weird. Usually it's the Author's job to make sure everything goes smoothly.
Globox: Best not to ask questions. I kinda like flying, anyway. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
-Ahem. Meanwhile, we join Rayman, who is walking slowly into the Fairy Council, the pirates still holding him at gunpoint-
Mr. Dark: Ah, excellent. The time machine I used to get here shouldn't be too far away.
Rayman: What time machine?
Mr. Dark: As powerful as I am, I can't travel through time by myself.
Rayman: Oh, come on! Anyone can travel through time!
Mr. Dark: What? That's impossible!
Rayman: Fine, Mr. I Can't Do Anything, then I'm not telling you the secret!
Mr. Dark: I never said… but… ah, to heck with it. Show me!
Rayman: I will now say the magic words, so listen carefully! Iwillnoteatgreeneggsandham iamnotsamiam ajediyouwillbeifyoufeeltheforce myfellowamericansicannotbelievetherearetwoscoopsineverybox!
-Everyone stares at Rayman-
Mr. Dark: Nothing happened.
Rayman: We travelled through time. Don't you feel it?
-All the pirates begin to get confused-
Mr. Dark: No.
Rayman: But it's true! We travelled ten seconds into the future!
Mr. Dark: …You wasted my time for THAT?
-All the pirates begin to utter the "magic words"-
Mr. Dark: Hey, stop that this instant! Those are not magic words, they are just gibberish to act as a distraction to fool you and distract me by trying to stop you from being distracted by a distraction that disctracted us all! …Wait a minute, IT DISTRACTED ME!
-Mr. Dark turns around, only to see a sign that says "SUCKER!" planted into the ground where Rayman used to be-
Mr. Dark: Oh, for the love of… bah, who needs him. I can travel back in time all by myself! Come, my reprogrammed idiots! To 1995!
-Mr. Dark and the possessed pirates continue to head deeper into the Fairy Council-
Rayman: That was too close! I hate to imagine what would happen if I warped back to 1995 again. Now, there's only one solution. I can't charge in and rough them up, so I have to reach the Heart and contact Polokus to correct everything!
-Rayman, running through the council, doesn't watch where he's going and bumps into Andre-
Andre: Oh no, not you!
Rayman: Oh no, not you!
Teensies: Oh no, not you!
Rayman: Who?
Teensies: Who indeed!
Andre: Go!
-Andre flies away, the Teensies in hot pursuit-
Rayman: Who is who? Well, no time to waste.
-Rayman continues to head towards the Heart, when Globox and Murfy crash through the ceiling in front of him-
Globox: You and your stupid shortcuts!
Murfy: Well, had we only taken that right turn at that giant orb, we would have made it by now!
Rayman: Um, what's going on?
Murfy: Rayman! Glad to see you again. We were trying to reach the Heart and contact Polokus!
Rayman: So was I! Mr. Dark and the pirates are heading towards his so-called time machine!
Globox: Hey Rayman, I've been thinking. While we were waiting for the Author to update, I looked back at the fanfic and found out that Mr. Dark was poofed here by his cronies in 1995 and didn't use a time machine at all.
Murfy: SHUT UP!
Globox: But it's true! So that means there's no time machine!
Rayman: Oh no! HIT THE DECK!
Globox: What?
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Globox: What are we hiding from?
Rayman: Strange… the Author should have come to punish you for exposing plotholes.
Globox: Oh, right. Did I mention I can fly now?
Rayman: Where's the Author? Has this entire place gone mad?
Murfy: No time to figure things out now. Come on!
-Rayman, Murfy and Globox head towards the Heart. Unfortunately, they make a wrong turn and end up in………………………………………………-
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We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.
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Testing, testing, one two three. Can you see me?
Yeah.
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…
Power restored.
There, that's better.
Let's get on with it already!
Hey, who are you, anyway?
I, uh… don't know?
Uh… look! Five bucks!
MONEY!
There. Now that he's out of the way…
-…the most gruesome place on the planet, the one, the only, grand chamber of…………………………….-
Warning: Excess particles detected. Shutdown imminent.
Excess what? Oh crud.
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Power surge.
………………………………….
CHAPTER 17: The Key to it All
Globox: -holding a rocket launcher- Hurry it up, men! We must recover the key before Mr. Dark and his supergiant mutant radioactive Robo-Pirates acquire the… hey, what the heck just happened?
Murfy: Weren't we about to reach the Heart?
Author: That's what I thought, too.
Rayman: Oh, NOW you show up! Where were you the last two years?
Author: I was in the bathroom! Sheesh, give me a break!
Murfy: What were you doing in there that lasted two years?
Author: Do you really want to know?
Murfy: Well, seeing as where things are going, yes, I have every right to know!
Author: Fine. It started with a gigantic tub of Extra Gassy Beans followed by a generous serving of Uncle Flatulence's Chilli, and then topped off with-
Murfy: On second thought, maybe I don't. What happened?
Author: Well, when I got back, Mr. Dark had just screwed up the space-time continuum and changed the history of the series. As the scientists call it, we had a classic case of TTTT!
Globox: TTTT? Huh? But I could fly and reveal plotholes!
Author: I WAS IN THE BATHROOM!
Rayman: Could we just get going?
Murfy: Good idea. Now, where were we?
Globox: Okay… somehow it's strange that I know all the words that are coming up, but whatever. …ultimate doomsday weapon!
Murfy: We can't do this all alone. We need to enlist the aid of Andre and the Hoodlums!
Rayman: Ever since the Iron Mountain Treaty, we're on their side. It was the best decision I ever made.
Globox: Until then… CHAAAAAAAAAARGE!
-Globox, Murfy and Rayman run towards a gigantic tank in an explosion-scorched field-
Author: Good. Now that I'm back in charge, I can rebuild this fanfic from the bottom up. Until then, enjoy the new plot!
TO BE CONTINUED…