CHAPTER chapter #: (Untitled)
Author: Well, seeing as how this new plot obviously doesn't make a whole lot of sense, let's see what I can do.
Grand Minimus: Do you want my opinion?
Author: What in the… how'd you get here?
Grand Minimus: You're the author, you should know.
Author: Um, right. Anyway, things should be back to normal soon enough. While you wait, why not enjoy some random mayhem?
…
Teensie 3: Ow! My evil twin brother's cousin's roommate's second best friend from Jupiter's aunt's godfather's second cousin twice removed just poked me in the eye!
Clark: Whoops, sorry.
…
Globox: Um, hi… I've, uh… got a joke. Why did the, er… chicken cross… uh… the, er… road? ……..Because, uh… roads taste good?
Bartender: Get off the stage, you freaking maniac! -throws a buoy at Globox-
Joe: Ahem?
Bartender: Aw, jeez, what a mood killer!
…
Razorbeard: I'm so alone… I'm so alone… I'm so alone…
Pirate 1: You still have me!
Razorbeard: Oh, right. -blows Pirate 1's head off- I'm so alone…
…
Murfy: I'm bored.
Clyde: So am I.
Murfy: What the… Clyde? What are YOU doing here?
Clyde: Well, I was just in the neighborhood, and-
Murfy: You're in the wrong fanfic, stupid. Go back to TGF where you belong!
Clyde: Aw… you're no fun…
…
Author: Yep, any minute now…
Grand Minimus: This is the lamest excuse for a convoluted plot device I've ever seen.
Author: Great, a critic. As if I don't have enough problems already.
Black Lums: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Author: Yep, any minute now… ah, there we go. Mr. Dark's character has been removed, and we can get back down to business.
Angry Fans: WHY? HOW COULD YOU?
Author: Freaking critics!
…
…
…
CHAPTER 12: Rayman 3.1: Hoodlum ReHavoc
Rayman: So, as I was saying, that's how I defeated the evil Mr. Dark, the vengeful Razorbears and the menace Andre.
Globox: Who are you talking to?
Rayman: Nobody, apparently. I wish the Teensie Tavern hadn't banned me. That tale would have left everyone in awe, and possibly gotten me a few free drinks!
Globox: But what about your lack of an esopha-
Rayman: Don't even say it.
Murfy: Ah, don't despair. I'm sure that bartender will have a change of heart soon enough.
Rayman: Really? You think so?
Murfy: No, I don't. I've been meaning to zing you with that one for days!
-drum solo-
Globox: Hey Rayman, I want to know something. I know Mr. Dark was deleted from existence by the Author and Razorbeard just flew away or something, but what happened to Andre?
-FREEZE FRAME-
Author: I'll give all of you a free pie if you don't ask any questions about Razorbeard or how they know that I deleted Mr. Dark, okay?
Angry Fans: OH BOY! PIE!
Author: Yeah, I just wanted to clear that up. Thanks.
-CONTINUE-
Rayman: Well, I remember Andre being chased down a hallway by the Teensies, so I assume me blocking his way slowed him down enough for him to be captured. What could go wrong?
-Suddenly, the entire Fairy Council shakes-
Murfy: Don't ever say "what could go wrong" ever again. That always causes disaster.
Globox: Ah, it was probably just an earthquake or something. Nothing could possibly go wrong!
-Andre is seen flying out of the Fairy Council-
Murfy: Again, don't say that.
Rayman: Okay, this doesn't look good. I'd better check this out.
-Rayman runs into the Fairy Council and bumps into one of the Teensies that was chasing Andre-
Rayman: What happened? Why did Andre escape?
Teensie 5: Well, we had the guy cornered, when suddenly a pie appeared out of nowhere. I was hungry, so, well, I ate it and he kinda escaped. Sorry.
Rayman: A pie appeared from nowhere?
Teensie 5: Yeah. I wonder if me being Angry Fan #73 had anything to do with it?
Rayman: Nah, that couldn't be it.
-Another earthquake ensues. Grand Minimus comes charging down the hallway-
Grand Minimus: It's a disaster! We're all in big trouble!
Rayman: Calm down! What happened?
Grand Minimus: Andre suddenly came out of nowhere and flew into the Heart! It was terrible!
Rayman: WHAT? But what about the glass wall?
Grand Minimus: Well, see, we were bored, so I got a baseball and-
Rayman: The earthquake must have shattered it!
Grand Minimus: Wait, but… oh, right, sure, the earthquake. Let's go with that. Anyway, we have no time to lose! Soon, the entire Fairy Council will be overflowing with…
-A huge, buzzing black cloud flies right past them and out the main entrance-
Grand Minimus: Black Lums…
Rayman: Oh no! Andre's at it again! I must stop him!
-Rayman runs out the door-
Teensie 5: What is it with that stupid baseball, anyway?
Grand Minimus: I was bored, okay?
MEANWHILE, OUTSIDE…
Andre: Come, my new bretheren! While I was only able to create so many of you, it'll still be enough to rule this world once and for all!
Rayman: Stop, you fiend!
Andre: Ah, Rayman! Just as I expected. You may have destroyed my factory once, but I won't let you do it again! To the headquarters!
Rayman: What are you talking about? Your new HQ blew up four chapters ago! How could you miss it?
Andre: I… he… wait… it blew up?
Rayman: Yes!
Andre: …Clearly you're responsible for this!
Rayman: Wait, it wasn't me this time! I swear!
Andre: Lies, all lies! Come, my brothers! Let's build our third headquarters and amass a force so great that even the great Rayman will tremble beneath it!
Black Lums: Awright! We rul! U loose, Ryman!
-Andre and the Black Lums fly towards the Summit Beyond the Clouds. Globox and Murfy catch up with Rayman-
Murfy: What in the name of Yellow Lum #847 happened?
Rayman: Andre's at it again! He just got a whole bunch of new Black Lums and plans to try and take over the world again!
Globox: Not again!
Rayman: I'm afraid so. You know what this means, don't you?
Murfy: -sigh- Let me get the manual…
Globox: Oh, no! Not another adventure!
Rayman: Don't worry, you won't have to hide in a barrel of plum juice with my hands again.
Murfy: Ah, here it is. Since I've got no choice, let's start from scratch.
Globox: I probably should be elsewhere, so bye.
-Globox runs off-
Murfy: Let's see here, it says you hit the jump button in order to jump. Also, you need to hit the attack button in order to attack. What a surprise. Tell me, what loser actually gets pleasure from writing this dreck?
Author/Manual: Quiet, you!
Murfy: Whatever.
Rayman: Well, I'd better tone my skills… again.
Murfy: Let's see what else is in here… hmm, it says this quest won't be so easy. Ooh, aah. That's what it thought about Rayman 3, too.
Rayman: Wait… is this technically Rayman 4?
Murfy: No, it says we're in Rayman 3.1 right now.
Rayman: Um, okay.
TO BE CONTINUED…