Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Crossing Jordan.

Regret

Chapter 4 – Let's quit while we're ahead.

As Jordan began her journey to the hospital, each second felt like an hour. She panicked more and more the closer she got. When she arrived she was hyperventilating. She glanced at the clock in her car before shutting it off. It was 12:02, Woody would hopefully be willing to talk to her, she just hoped he'd be strong enough to hear what she had to say.

The elevator ride was the longest ride of her life. If felt like days before it reached his floor. When the doors slid open, she had a hard time stepping off the elevator. A nurse looked up from the file she was reading as Jordan approached her.

"Can I help you?" The nurses voice was gruff.

"I am here to see detective Hoyt."

"Are you his wife?"

"No, I'm his emergency contact. I was here yesterday when he was brought in."

"Alright, he just got out of surgery so you can't stay long, he is very weak."

Those words stung Jordan, like knives piercing her skin. If Woody was weak, how could she tell him this news? She was terrified she was going to trigger cardiac arrest.

She stared into the room as she stood in the doorframe. Woody's eyes were closed and he looked weaker than he had the day before. She walked towards him softly, so she wouldn't disturb him and sat down in the chair next to his bed. Then she reached out and touched his hand.

The sensation of her skin woke him and he slowly looked up into her face. The look in his eyes faded to darkness. "What are you doing here? I don't want you here. Just leave Jordan. Is this what you do, huh? You torture men. You string me along and then when I get close you pull back. Then when I am in the hospital you come back to flaunt what I can't have. I can't take this now Jordan, take your games elsewhere. I almost died and now we don't know if I will walk again, yet here you are taking pity on me. Just go, Jordan, just go."

Jordan had never been so hurt in her life. She didn't know what to say or do. The words he just spoke hurt her more than anything she can remember. All the pain in her life seemed to melt away. She was mad, really mad. She was so frustrated with him, with men. She stared at him, her face was no longer soft and comforting, it was angry and frustrated. When she spoke her words were loud and held a tone that was filled with rage. "Listen Woody, I may have hurt you before but this isn't a game. You don't get that do you, I thought you knew me better than this. You always claim you know me, if you knew me so well you would know it would take love and not pity for me to admit those feelings to you. I am well aware, you could have died, and I would never have forgiven myself if I hadn't have told you that I loved you, but you didn't die and now I'm here and I don't want to pull away."

"Oh is that so Jordan, you'll pull away from me when I'm not a cripple but when I am, well of course you'll be here. Why not when I'm in a wheelchair, I'll be easier to run from. You may want to stick around now but that won't last. Once I become the burden in your life and I depend on you, your insecurities will come back to haunt you and then you'll be gone and this time I can't chase you. So why don't we quit while we're ahead? I just wish I could get a hold of Cal."

Jordan had tried to avoid the subject but she knew she couldn't avoid it any longer. "Woody, I have to tell you something and it is very serious."

Woody looked up, he was still mad that she was there but the look in her face made his blood run cold and he responded, "What Jordan?"