This story occurrs after the 3rd Austin Powers movie, "Goldmember". Scott is still trying to become evil. Dr. Evil and Austin are still brothers and everything is the same. Ya-da-ya-da-ya-da, you get the idea, just read the damn thing.
Austin is back at his pad sitting in a bean bag chair watching a 'tittie movie'. He's quite into it, but suddenly the phone rings.
Austin:(jumps a little then realizes it's the phone and picks it up)"Hello?"
Austin's Dad: "What's that noise in the back? Is Tanya over again?"
Austin: "Oh damn!" (turns down the volume of the T.V.) "No, Dad, just a movie."
Austin's Dad: "Oh, that's a shame. Anyways, I'm just calling to see how you're taking everything."
Austin: "I'm fine, Dad, really." (starts watching the movie instead of listening)
Austin's Dad: (begins rambling while Austin is glued to the screen) "It's just that I feel like such a failure for not spending more time with you. I know if your mother would was here, she'dnever have done this to you. She was so nice, she'd go over every day to that orphanage down the street to play with the children there. She'd play games with you for hours. I didn't even play with you a bit."
Austin: (paying no attention but pretending to listen) "Play with her tit. Yeah."
Austin's Dad: "What?"
Austin: (realizes what he just said) "No, No, I mean play with her clit. NO! I mean! Uh...Dad, I have to go. I'm quite busy. Bye." (hangs up the phone and gets back into the movie)
Austin: (the phone rings again) "Hello?"
Austin's Dad: "Ok, son, look, I know I haven't been the best father to you, but could I take you to lunch tomorrow? It's a small step but I want to start."
Austin: "That's very groovy, but, I really have to go." (keeps looking at the movie)
Austin's Dad: "It's just your mother was so kind and-" (Austin hangs up)
Austin: (phone rings again) "GOOD GOD!" (picks it up) "Look, I'm trying to watch a porno right now and I can't pay attention to my meat and two bits with you on the phone! You can try and be my daddy tomorrow!"
Basil: "Um..."
Austin: "Oh, sorry, Basil. Thought you were my Dad. I don't want you to be my daddy."
Basil: "Yes, I understand, Austin."
Austin: "Not that I wouldn't mind you as a father."
Basil: "Shut up, Austin."
Austin: "Okay."
Basil: "Now, I have something important to show you. Go get your laptop."
Austin: (Austin pulls out a laptop from the side of his bean bag) "Got it."
Basil: "I'm sending you the file now. It's the security video of the 10 Diamonds Casino. It seems last night it was broken into and had all of it's money stolen."
Austin: "Oh, that's awful."
Basil: "That's not the worst part, watch the file."
Austin: (Austin clicks a few buttons and a video starts playing)
VIDEO:
A open vault is in the background of the video and people can be seen taking gold bricks out in carts. Dr. Evil appears on-screen with Mr.Bigglesworth.
Dr. Evil: Hello casino owners, Austin Powers, weird russian hacker kid who got ahold of this casino's secruity footage. I'm here to let you all know that Dr. Evil is back in business. (puts pinkie up to mouth) (Frau appears on screen and shoots at the camera)
Dr. Evil: Did you get it?
Frau: No, hold on. (reloads gun)
Dr. Evil: Oh! I'm still on! (looks evil again)
Frau: (shoots at camera again but misses) Shit!
Dr. Evil: Again? You can't even hit a fricken camera?
Frau: It's quite high up, herr doktor! (reloads gun)
Dr. Evil: You better frickin hit it this time.
Frau: (starts shootin again but keeps missing) MOTHERFU-(finally hits camera)
Austin: "No, this can't be!"
Basil: "I'm afraid it's true, Austin"
Austin: "He said he was going straight, not doing any more 'evil' business. He was even changing his name to Dr. Not-So-Evil."
Basil: "I guess some people never change."