Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Crossing Jordan.

Regret

Chapter 5 – He isn't dead Jordan.

"I went to respond to a call at the harbour this morning and the body was… was …"

"Spit it out Jordan. Who someone I work with? Is there another cop killer?"

"Woody it was Cal."

Woody's blood ran cold. "Get out Jordan. What is wrong with you? My brother isn't dead. How can you do something like this to me? Why are you so cruel to me? Huh? Cal would have called me to help him, he always does. He isn't dead Jordan, you made a mistake. YOU MADE A MISTAKE."

Jordan eyes burned with tears. How could Woody think she would make something up like that? "Woody, I'm not making this up. It was Cal, Woody I'm so sorry. I know this is hard for you."

"You know nothing Jordan. I don't need this, Cal isn't dead okay. Jordan he isn't dead."

Jordan didn't know how to respond. She had been afraid Woody would react with anger and now she didn't know what to do. "Woody, I am so sorry, I really am. Please don't close up, please." Jordan was beginning to cry as she watched the contorted look of pain on Woody's face as he stared out the window.

Finally he looked towards her. "Can I be alone?"

"Okay, but call me if you need anything, even if it's just to talk."

Woody didn't respond and instead turned back to the window. Jordan walked out of his room and felt her eyelids burning. She told the nurse she's be by later and to keep an eye on him because she had had to tell him some potentially upsetting news. The nurse nodded and watched as Jordan got into the elevator and disappeared from sight.

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At the morgue Nigel and Slokum had been working as hard as they could to finish the autopsy. Lily came in and out. The morgue had become a silent place. Everyone except Slokum had met Cal and everyone was filled with concern for Woody and for Jordan. Framus had mentioned Jordan was struggling but didn't go into great detail. She didn't feel the need to tell everyone about Jordan's breakdown.

Seely entered trace. "Where is your visitor badge?" Slokum growled. "It is protocol that all visitors and that includes detectives need to wear their visitor badges. Is there something you don't understand about that detective?"

Seely glared at him as he removed the backing of the visitor sticker Lily had forced into his hands. He patted against his chest. "Well is there any information that you can give me from the autopsy?"

"It will be in the report." Slokum told him.

"Yes, but when Dr. Macy was here, we were encouraged to come visit the autopsy and we could then start our investigation sooner."

"Well I am not Dr. Macy, I follow the rules and you are going to have to accept that. If there is something we need you to see, we will call you. However, when the autopsy is complete you may come in and discuss anything with us. We will also show you things on the body then too, but it is extremely rude for you to just come in and interrupt the autopsy. So if you don't mind, we will talk with you later detective."

Seely then stormed out of trace, using all his courage not to retaliate. He angrily removed the visitor sticker and slapped it down on the front desk as he waited for the elevator. As the doors opened, Jordan entered the morgue.

"Jordan."

"Seely."

Then she wandered into her office and sat down to start her paperwork. She felt so lost. Part of her wanted to help with the autopsy and part of her wanted to wait and help with the investigation.

2 minutes later Nigel came running in. "Jordan, I know I shouldn't be in here telling you everything but I thought you should know. I did the math and Cal was here about a month and a half ago. He died a month and a half ago. I don't think he ever left Boston. Which means he may have died before he got onto his plane. His body was then dumped into the water after he was shot and didn't reach shore until this morning."

Jordan felt horrible all of a sudden. She knew if Woody found out that Cal wouldn't have died had he been escorted to the hospital, that it would kill him. "Nigel, can we avoid telling Woody some of that information. At least don't tell him anything about the math."

Nigel noticed the strained look in Jordan's eyes. "How are you holding up luv?"

"I'm fine really, just tired I guess."

"I though Slokum gave you the day off."

"He did."

"So you're here because?"

"I have no where else to go."

"Well if you're tired you could go home to bed, you could stay with Woody, you could visit Garret. You can do whatever you like, that's what people do with their days off."

"I'm fine really, I can get caught up on paperwork."

"Alright luv."

With that Nigel swept out of the room, the same way he came in. Jordan stared down at the file on her desk. It was the same file she had stared at that morning when she had dismissed Lily. Nothing had been touched and she knew nothing was going to be touched now. She sat back in her chair, knowing the emotions from Woody's second rejection were catching up with her and it was only a matter of time before she'd be crying. She decided since it was her day off and no one was going to let her assist with Cal's autopsy, she decided to go out and avoid her emotions for a while.

She walked quickly to trace and told Nigel, that she was leaving but as soon as the autopsy report is complete to please contact her on her cell. As she left trace she ran into Lily.

"So how did it go Jordan?"

"He's in denial."

"Well that's to be expected. Don't worry he'll come around. He just needs time to swallow his pride and ask for help."

Jordan tried to smile but it came out like more of a facial expression worn by the grim reaper. She then walked to the elevator and decided to buy some ice cream, go to the mall and buy something that would make her feel better.