Chapter Ten

Stunned

Harry could have sat under that tree all day. He wondered what it would take to provoke the squid to drag him to the bottom of the lake.

He had long since stopped crying. He just sat there, in the cool grass, watching the flat surface of the lake ripple randomly with the movements of the giant squid. People were heading up to the castle for lunch. He wasn't hungry, and he'd rather not see Hermione and Ron just yet; he'd be seeing Hermione soon enough in Potions. He knew he shouldn't have been so harsh to her, but they just didn't understand. They grew up with their parents. They never had horrible relatives like the Dursleys for their only family. They didn't spend ten years of their lives living in a cupboard under the stairs, nor did they have dead godfathers who were wanted by the Ministry of Magic. They were not being sought out by the greatest Dark wizard of their time. They may have helped him on occasion, but Harry was truly alone in his fight.

He heard someone approaching. He turned around to find Luna Lovegood standing next to him, wearing her usual dreamy look. Her wand, along with her long, dirty blond hair, was tucked behind her ear. "Hello, Harry," she said.

"Hi, Luna," he mumbled hoarsely.

Luna sat down next to him. Luna was a very nice person, as Harry had found out last year, but she was very odd and quite content to exist in her own dream world. Her father was editor of the magazine The Quibbler, which, though usually full of ridiculous stories, had run an article about Harry last year that helped to counter all the bad press he and Dumbledore were getting in The Daily Prophet.

"You're still upset about that Sirius Black, aren't you?" she said softly, plucking a blade of grass and twirling it between her thumb and forefinger. "He was your uncle or something, right?"

"My godfather," Harry murmured.

"I heard you crying. Reminded me a bit of when my mum died. But it's only been two months, so I suppose you should still be crying … will we still be doing the Defense Association this year?" Luna looked at him quizzically, as if she hadn't just switched subjects in the same breath.

Harry shook his head. "Professor McNoira seems like she knows what she's doing," he said. "Even if she hates me," he muttered under his breath, feeling a giant lump form in his throat. Apparently he wasn't quite done crying.

"Yes, I suppose she does," Luna said dreamily, not having heard Harry's muttered comment. "Still, we learned a lot of useful things from you. We wouldn't have gotten through the Ministry any other way."

Harry jumped up quickly, his throat tight, his eyes burning. "We would have all been killed if Dumbledore hadn't come. Loads of good all that practice would have done if we'd been killed, huh?"

Luna hummed softly, as if she hadn't heard Harry. He began walking up to the castle, taking slow, deep breaths to calm himself down. Exploding at Loony Lovegood would do him about as much good as making Hermione cry.

Harry walked right past the Great Hall. He ignored the laughing and the happy chatter and stormed upstairs towards the Gryffindor common room. He just wanted to be alone before he had to endure Potions.

He collided with a mass of red hair as he climbed through the hole behind the portrait of the Fat Lady. Ginny Weasley pulled herself up and swept her hair from her face. "In a hurry?" she said breathlessly. Harry made to brush by her, but Ginny grabbed his arm. "Are you just going to run away this year, Harry?" she said angrily, flushing pink. "Are you just going to ignore everything and pretend like everything's all right?" She was much stronger than she looked, Harry thought as she yanked him to an armchair by the fire. She stood over him, getting redder in the face as she spoke. "Sirius died, Harry. I haven't heard you talk about him once this summer. We were all with you that day, remember? We were there to help you. What makes you think we don't want to help you now?"

Harry squirmed under her fierce gaze. "I don't need help," he mumbled pathetically.

"So Hermione's bawling and Ron's bloody cheesed at you for no reason, then?"

Harry kept his eyes lowered. He wanted to think that Ginny just didn't understand … but he knew that she, like Ron and Hermione, were just looking out for him. Ginny sighed and sat in the chair across from Harry, grasping his hand tightly. Her hand felt very warm in his. His eyes were prickling with hot tears again. He wasn't going to cry in front of Ginny.

She didn't say anything else. Harry tried to get up, but she held him firmly in place. She was waiting for him to speak. But he couldn't. If he opened his mouth, no words would be able to escape.

The bell rang to signal the end of lunch. Finally, they stood to go to their respective classes. Ginny leaned over and kissed Harry on the cheek. He felt his face turn flame-red, and he saw as she hurried away that her face was turning crimson as well.

He trudged down to the dungeons for Potions by himself. Hermione was already there, sitting with Susan Bones and Hannah Abbot of Hufflepuff. Harry took a seat beside Dean Thomas, noting that he, Dean, and Hermione were the only Gryffindors.

"This'll be rough," Dean whispered to him. "Snape must've been hoping that no Gryffindor would manage to get into his N.E.W.T. class." Harry muttered an agreement.

Snape entered the classroom a moment later, his black robes whipping behind him. "Well, I am surprised at the number of you who managed an O on your O.W.L.," he said darkly. He sneered at Harry. "Your examiner must have been a fan," he murmured. "There are some students here, however, who deserved their Os." He smirked at the Slytherins, the same three from Defense Against the Dark Arts. Draco Malfoy looked thrilled that Harry managed an O in Potions—it would certainly provide him some amusement this year.

But if Malfoy was looking forward to Harry's being tormented by Snape, he was disappointed by the end of the lesson. Snape was making an even bigger effort than Hermione to ignore Harry. He was obviously holding a grudge over the episode with the Pensieve last year.

As he did last year, Harry found Potions much easier when Snape ignored him. He knew that Snape would find some way to destroy his potion or give him a poor grade, but Harry knew that didn't matter. As long as he made the potion correctly, he would do well on his N.E.W.T. and he would be able to become an Auror. If Snape was going to ignore him for the next two years, that was just fine.

But by the end of the lesson, Harry felt even worse than he had before. He didn't have Ron there to help pass the time, Hermione wasn't hissing helpful hints in his ear, and even Snape's ignoring him was disconcerting—and they had a hefty essay to write on the various uses of undiluted Bundimun secretions.

Harry dreaded having to go to Herbology, especially when Dean remarked on their way to the greenhouses, "Are you and Hermione in a fight or something?"

Dean partnered with Seamus Finnegan once they'd arrived at Greenhouse Four, so Harry headed toward Neville Longbottom. Neville had been with them at the Ministry last year. His parents were in St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies, in the long-term ward of the Spell Damages Floor. Neville never told anyone about his parents; he was raised by his gran, and Harry had always assumed they were dead, until he found out that Frank and Alice Longbottom—both Aurors and members of the original Order of the Phoenix—had actually been tortured to insanity by Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange when Neville was a small child.

Neville was not a very strong wizard. He had a poor memory and was easily flustered, especially in the presence of Snape. Until last year, he'd used his father's wand, but that broke during the fight at the Ministry. Harry saw that Neville now had a new, long, shiny, sturdy wand of his own. Neville smiled when he saw Harry admiring his new wand. "It's a nice one, isn't it?" he said. "Gran was upset that I broke Dad's, but she was just so relieved that I didn't die that—" He broke off and turned red. "Sorry, Harry. I wasn't thinking."

Harry ignored Neville. He angrily jammed a pair of gloves on his hands and began to work in the mound of fresh soil in front of him. Neville worked silently at his side, but the rest of the class was buzzing with chatter. Ron and Hermione were leaning very closely over a shared pile of earth, whispering and casting furtive glances in Harry's direction.

After class, they seemed to want to walk with him up to the castle, but Harry walked right past them towards Hagrid's hut. His stomach was rumbling for dinner, but he had to talk to someone who hadn't been at the Ministry last year … someone that he could just pour everything out to …

There were muffled voices coming from inside Hagrid's hut. Harry paused before knocking on the door half-heartedly. Fang, Hagrid's boarhound, gave an excited bark.

"Who's there?" came Hagrid's gruff voice.

"It's—it's Harry."

Hagrid cracked the door open and peered out. "Ah. Harry." He glanced over his shoulder. Whoever had been speaking a moment ago was now completely quiet. "What d'ya—"

"I just want to talk," Harry said softly.

Hagrid cast another look over his shoulder. "Best come back later tonight, Harry," Hagrid whispered. "Eleven all righ'?"

Harry nodded. Hagrid gave him a sad smile and shut the door once Harry had turned around. He was overwhelmed by curiosity. What could Hagrid be doing that required him to be so secretive? He knew at once: Order business.

He pretended to walk up to the castle, but then doubled back and carefully positioned himself under Hagrid's window. Three voices—Hagrid's, another man's, and a woman's—drifted out into Harry's ears.

"We're not even sure this will work," the woman whispered frantically. Harry recognized the soft brogue at once—Tabitha. "We could be endangering a lot of students—"

"Bollocks," the second man said. "The situation will be under control. We have the tightest security in place—"

"It's all good in theory, yes," Tabitha replied hotly. "But a student can get too close, or move suddenly. What if it's provoked?"

"Easy," Hagrid's voice boomed. "We don' let Malfoy er any of the other Slytherins near it. Mind ye, I'd like ter see all of 'em get in a bad way with a dragon, but that's just what we're tryin' ter prevent. Long as we keep 'em away, they can't cause no problems."

Did Hagrid just say dragon? Harry's mind raced. Surely they wouldn't be bringing a dragon to Hogwarts, not to study? But that would explain why Charlie was here ... and why they were studying dragons from their books in Care of Magical Creatures. But surely, surely, using a live dragon in class wouldn't be allowed?

"If it wasn't Dumbledore," Tabitha was saying. "I would drop this plan straight away. But he's the one who made the discovery, so I won't question him."

The second man—Harry recognized his voice now as Charlie Weasley's—sighed. "Let's just leave it where it is, shall we? I'm famished."

Harry jumped up and began running to the Great Hall. He didn't want them to know he'd been spying.

Harry would have liked to tell Ron and Hermione what he just heard, but he wasn't ready to make up with them just yet. He sat between Seamus and Ginny at dinner. He and Ginny reached for the same dish of steak-and-kidney pie and their hands brushed. Harry's skin prickled warmly, and when he looked at Ginny, he saw that she had gone a bit pink. His cheek suddenly burned where she'd kissed him earlier.

Going right up to the dormitory for a long night of sleep was all Harry wanted to do once he'd finished eating. But he had an Occlumency lesson with Tabitha to endure, and then he should probably start his Transfiguration and Potions homework. He couldn't believe it was only the second day of classes.

He was beginning to wonder if Ron had told anyone about Quidditch tryouts when Katie Bell, a seventh year and their team's only remaining Chaser, approached him. "Harry!" she said brightly. "Congratulations on being made captain. I'm glad it wasn't me; I'd've made a right lousy one. Do you know yet when we're having tryouts for the rest of the team?"

"Thursday evening at seven," Harry replied, glancing quickly in Ron's direction. "We're looking for two Chasers and two Beaters."

Katie sighed in relief. "So we're not keeping Sloper and Kirke then?" she said. "I'm always afraid they're going to hit the Bludgers right at us instead of the other team." She smiled. "Well, thanks, Harry. I'll see you on Thursday evening, then."

Harry went up to the common room and wrote out a notice for Quidditch tryouts, then tacked it up on the notice board. He felt a wave of dread wash over him as he climbed out of the portrait hole and starting walking down to Tabitha's classroom. He passed right by Ginny and a group of her friends. His cheek started burning again.

He knocked on the classroom door. Tabitha called for him to come in. She was sitting at her desk, dressed in Muggle clothes and reading a long piece of parchment. She vanished the parchment when Harry entered and gave him a stiff smile. "You can take your robes off, if you'd like," she said curtly. Harry shrugged off his robes and laid them over a nearby chair.

Tabitha stood up, smoothing down her skirt and fixing her long hair. She carried herself in a very haughty, bored manner that reminded Harry of someone—he just didn't know who. Her dark eyes sparkled in the pale light emanating from the torches that lined the walls. She stood directly across from Harry. "Professor Dumbledore says that you practiced Stunning spells with him last night, and that's what we're going to continue with tonight." With her eyes boring into Harry's, she muttered, "Legilimens!"

Memories were racing before his eyes for the second night in a row. They were all of Sirius again … and then Ginny, blushing as she kissed his cheek … and then the thrilling moment he found out Sirius was his godfather, innocent, and Harry's legal guardian … I have to stop her, Harry thought. I have to Stun her … and then misery at Privet Drive, as he pored over his photo album, seeing his parents and Lupin and Sirius, and that woman and her dark-haired little girl …

Just as suddenly as she had entered his mind, Tabitha was out. Harry blinked in surprise. "Good-good job," Tabitha gasped. Harry looked down at his wand, then up at Tabitha. He hadn't used his wand—he knew he hadn't. And Tabitha didn't look as if she had been Stunned, or had any other spell cast on her.

"Let's try that again," Tabitha said slowly. She took a deep, shaky breath and made eye contact with Harry. "Legilimens!"

Harry was ready. He wasn't going to let her see his intimate memories … he wouldn't let her see Sirius or Ginny or Ron and Hermione … as he saw Tabitha and Lupin, hunched over the table at Grimmauld Place, Harry jabbed his wand at Tabitha and yelled, "Stupefy!"

Tabitha was snapped out of his memories. Harry blinked, almost disbelieving that he had been able to block her so quickly. He was about to smile at himself when he caught sight of her.

She had been violently knocked against her desk. Her head was hanging limply over her shoulder, her dark hair falling across her face.

Harry's first thought was that he'd killed her. Gripped with fear, he approached her slowly. "P-professor McNoira?" he said. "Tabitha?" He pointed his wand at her and cried the counter-spell, "Enervate!" She didn't move.

Harry began to shake fiercely. What had he just done? Did he really Stun her, or had he accidentally hit her with a much worse spell?

He had to get help. He would get Madam Pomfrey, the nurse, and then get Dumbledore. He was so wrapped up in his worry that he didn't even realize that he was running; he didn't see Charlie Weasley coming around the corner until he'd crashed right into him.

"Harry!" Charlie said, catching him at the elbow. "What's wrong, mate? Where's Ron?"

Harry didn't know what to do. He motioned frantically to Tabitha's classroom. "I don't know how," he rambled. "It was an accident. I think she hit her head …"

Charlie looked very confused. "What are you talking about, Harry?"

"Tabitha! I think I killed her!"

Fear crossed Charlie's face as he let Harry go. He ran to Tabitha's classroom. Harry heard his cry of surprise. He reappeared a moment later, with Tabitha lying limply in his arms. "Get Dumbledore!" he cried, sprinting to the hospital wing.

But Harry was suddenly rooted to the spot. He couldn't move.

Ron and Hermione rounded the corner. They jumped when they saw him. Any animosity between them melted as Hermione shrieked, "Harry! What's wrong? You look like you're going to be sick!" Harry opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to get rid of the dryness that permeated it. Hermione touched his arm. "Harry? Harry, what is it?"

"I think I just killed Tabitha," Harry said. Hermione gasped; Ron turned white. And then Harry blacked out.