Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any of the characters in it.

Notes: Thanks for all the great reviews! I read every one and enjoy the fact that other people enjoy my visions of Sawyer and Kate as much as I do. Please continue to let me know what you think. )

Summary: This chapter will be a bit heavier then the others have been. It deals with Sawyer and Kate's reactions to Boone's death. Be prepared for angst and drama.

Rhett and Scarlett In Spite of Everything

As the day ended and the sun was setting, a solemn mood overtook the group of survivors. One of their own was dead. Boone had not made it through the afternoon. His injuries proved to be too much for him to withstand. Shannon was tearful, but relieved to have been with her brother at the end of his life. They hadn't said much to each other. Just 'I love you' and "I'm sorry for, well, everything.". The rest was understood. Sayid was there to comfort Shannon. The Doctor, though, was left all alone in the end. He'd lost one. This one was different then the others. This one was one that he knew. He was one everyone knew.

But as Claire brought her new baby to be introduced to the group, all eyes were on her and the newborn and all eyes left the sight of Boone's corpse. It was exactly what the group needed to see, life. It was like a ray of hope on a dark night, that baby. It seemed to have more power then any human, animal, polar bear, monster, or supernatural being on that island. Such a small and helpless entity, capturing the attention of all.

But Sawyer preferred the corpse.

It wasn't that he didn't see the miracle of new life before him. It wasn't that he didn't understand how this tiny infant could bring so much joy to those around him. He understood. He saw the joy and had felt it at the birth, along with a lot of other nausea related feelings of course. Babies brought happiness by the pound. Someone had said that near him once. He remembered it clearly because it had made him realize how really dependent people can be on little things. Little things that can go wrong so easily. Something that you base your entire world on can disappear in a heartbeat, or a lack of one in many cases.

So here he was, watching the abandoned body of big brother. The sister had run off with the Arab guy on her tail. Apparently she couldn't bear to be near the corpse anymore. Sawyer, however, couldn't make himself look away for too long. It was almost surreal, like the guy would blink his eyes, cough a few times, and then wake up as if nothing had ever happened to him. He didn't look dead. Not like Sawyers parents had looked dead. Not like the man he'd killed.

Suddenly Sawyer wanted to vomit. He hated death. He despised death. Yet, he couldn't force himself to walk away from it.

"Want some company?" He sensed her even before she spoke. It was hard to believe that only hours before they were smiling, looking into each others eyes like two people joined somehow. Watching the damn baby being born and rejoicing in the good news. And they had kissed, and it was wonderful. But that was before big brother died. Now, Sawyer was struggling to keep the one hole in the everlasting walls around his heart from closing up forever.

Without a word, he patted the stump of dirt next to him.

Kate sat down, knees to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. She couldn't get any farther away from him, he thought. Maybe she was feeling it too. Maybe neither of them could handle this kind of relationship, at least not when the chances of losing it were so great and ever threatening.

"Sawyer…" She began, but stopped mid sentence as if she had lost her courage. She looked back down at the ground, trying hard not to look at the dead body in front of them.

"Save it Freckles. You don't have to." He was trying to help her. He was trying to make her see that what they had experimented with early could never be. The reason was right in front of them. Death enveloped both of their lives like a tapeworm ready to drain every good thing from them. Sooner or later, death would tear them from each other. He felt his eyes begin to water and closed them to prevent any suspicion on her part that he might be crying. No one had ever seen him cry, at least not since he was eight years old. If he could help it, no one ever would.

He felt her hand on his arm. It was a simple gesture. It was a nice warm feeling in comparison to all of the cold that seemed to be holding his body in place on that stump of rock and dirt.

"Its weird. I feel, guilty somehow. Like I did something to contribute to this." Kate said all of a sudden. The statement broke the thought recordings in Sawyers head that made him think about his past and all the dead that would haunt him forever.

"Hell, Freckles. Don't do that!" He was angry with her. She looked up abruptly and dropped her hand from his arm. It was almost a fear reaction. He hated it.

"Do what? Blame myself? I'm not blaming myself Sawyer. I'm not stupid." She paused and winced. "I know what's my fault and what's not my fault, ok?" She had tears in her eyes now.

For the first time during the entire conversation, he looked up at her. He looked at her for a long time before breaking the silence.

"Me too." Was what he said next. He sighed and gestured toward Boone. "I didn't drop this guy off the cliff or even tell him to climb up the damn thing in the first place! I didn't tell him to go play Crocodile Hunter with the mountain man or risk his life to kill a few goddamn boar! I didn't do this!" He gestured heavily towards the body. A heavy silence followed as Kate watched him intently. She had tears falling down her cheeks now. He sniffled back tears but passed it off as nothing. "But death is death dammit! When you're responsible for death…" He shook his head. "It follows you like a bad goddamn penny. And it is always your fault in some way."

He stopped to breath. He stopped to take in what had just happened. He took a moment to push back the tears forming in his eyes. Then, he heard her voice again.

"Sawyer…" This time was different then the first time. This time was desperate. He turned his head and looked towards her, afraid of what he would see. Her lip was quivering and her eyes were red and brimming with fresh tears. The hair around her face was wet from the salty liquid. "Please stop it." She pleaded, holding her hands to her ears. She shook her head back and forth with her eyes now closed. "Please stop saying those things."

He saw her then. He really saw her for what she was and what she had been before. He saw the pain in her eyes, the same pain that was in his eyes. The same rage and fear and denial that he nurtured in himself every single goddamn day of his life. It was inside of her too. Only one thing could cause pain like that to live inside of a person. He knew that she had killed, but he never knew that she tortured herself for it in the same way that he did. Every day and every night, until there was room for nothing but more torture. Until the voices that said 'you don't deserve to be happy' became louder and louder.

He reached over and pulled her into his arms. He smoothed her hair out of her face and held her as close as he could. She resisted his embrace at first, punishing herself for her wrongs. But he was insistent and soon she had given in and laid her head against his chest. He instinctively placed light kisses on her temple lovingly. She shook with sobs and he had to hold her tighter to keep her near.

As she began to calm down a bit and get more control over her emotions, he spoke.

"Kate?" He whispered in her ear. She lifted her head to look him in the eye. This is when she would first see that he was crying too. Not uncontrollably, but softly. "Tell me that I deserve to be happy. Tell me that I deserve to be with you." He leaned his head against her forehead and soon she had enveloped her arms around him. They were holding each other equally now. "Because right now I don't' know what's up from down and back from forth and where I stand in any of this."

Kate slowly leaned back from him and forced his eyes to meet hers. "I know that you are one of the better people on this island. I know that you deserve so much more then you ever give yourself credit for. I know that, you make me happy. I don't know if I deserve that happiness that you give me or not, but I do know that you are capable of bringing happiness to other people. And you are not responsible for anybody who has died on this island Sawyer." She paused. "That, I know."

Both of them were crying now and Sawyer reached up and in one fluid motion caressed her cheek andkissedher passionately on the lips. Just as their lips parted he uttered two little words. "Thank you."

He gestured for Kate to stand up and he followed close behind her. He took her hand and led her away from the corpse, away from death, and towards the others. Maybe they would never be a part of the group of life givers. Maybe they would always be life takers. But, for now, they had the right to enjoy life and not focus entirely on death.

For now, they could be Rhett and Scarlett: together in spite of everything. They were survivors of war and famine and cruelty long past. They would, eventually, be forced to face their mistakes in the future. But for now, they just were.