Whoot! I am on a roll! This pattern will hopefully continue as long as I am not plagued by either writer's block or an unhealthy amount of homework.

Monica groaned, flopping down on her bed and covering her face with her hands, an action made even more uncharacteristic by the fact that she hadn't even taken off her shoes first.

She had just spent the entire day with Rachel, who was making an obvious attempt to cheer her up, and frankly it was almost as grating as a day with her mother. Monica had burned up most of her energy reassuring Rachel that she was alright by pretending to enjoy the whole shopping spree, and the rest on trying not to strangle Rachel as she whined about her boyfriend. Apparently Monica had acted a little too cheerful, because Rachel had gotten the impression that Monica was perfectly fine and willing to hear Rachel complain about her love life.

Greg is distant blahblahblah. Greg doesn't do anything romantic blahblahblah ad infinitum. Monica loved Rachel, she really did, and she didn't want to drag Rachel into the pits of anxiety with her, but shouldn't Rachel notice and be concerned by how depressed two of her close friends were being? Especially if one was her ex? Shouldn't she be trying to make them feel better as well? Shouldn't Rachel realize that the only thing Monica needed to be happy was for Chandler to be happy? And Ross, of course, but Ross had been acting like his usual self until he'd gone over to cheer Chandler up.

Monica felt bad for yelling at Chandler, but why wasn't he coming to them (or more specifically, her)? That's what friends were for, after all.

If Chandler didn't revert back to type soon, Monica would definitely go mad.

Chandler had always thought that once he had a girlfriend that liked him for who he was, everything would just fall into place. Apparently, this was a serious misconception. Kathy liked him for who he was- she had kissed him while she was going out with Joey, for God's sake! But he personally didn't consider 'falling into place' possibly dying, fighting with your girlfriend pretty much every day before you've even informed her of this fact, and having your friends abandon you (okay, he had abandoned them, but Ross at least knew what was going on. He could say something.)

Everything was ruined. If he were completely honest with himself, he had ruined it. Not by having an abnormal amount of white blood cells (although that had been the dilemma that started it all), but by how he'd reacted.

Because of him, Monica was furious, Joey was awkward, and Rachel and Phoebe were pretending he didn't exist. He'd never really been very close to either Rachel or Phoebe, but it still hurt. What if they really didn't mind that he was gone? Rachel hadn't noticed him one way or the other, and Phoebe had always seemed slightly annoyed by him. And another, more horrifying thought: what if all of them thought that way?

Chandler had the feeling he was being stupid, but there was no denying that, besides Monica, none of them had bothered to seek him out.

You're such an ass, Chandler. You have been avoiding them.

Chandler got up off the sofa abruptly. He didn't think he was ready to tell the whole gang what was going on yet, but he knew it was completely ridiculous to keep it from Kathy. She was his girlfriend, and he couldn't just keep these things with her. Conveniently putting out of his mind the fact that he couldn't really keep this from his friends much longer, either, he grabbed the phone from its cradle and dialed her number.

AN: Kathy-haters probably won't want to read this part, but it is important, so I suggest you do so anyway.

"Um, Kathy? Kathy- Kathy. I…have to talk to you." Kathy stared at Chandler, trying to reign in her temper. He'd already said this on the phone and about three times since they'd greeted each other. She knew it must be fairly important for him to be so nervous, but his quirks had stopped being endearing about a week ago.

"Yes, Chandler," she asked patiently. He avoided her eyes.

"I- well, I don't exactly know how to say this, but I…I might have leukemia." Kathy couldn't know this, but that was the first time Chandler had actually said those words out loud. He had avoided repeating that fatal phrase when the doctor had told him it was a possibility, and hadn't actually said the word leukemia when he'd inadvertently let it slip to Ross. Now it seemed more final, but at the same time, he felt a small relief. He no longer had the feeling of living in denial. Now it all depended on how Kathy took it.

"Chandler," Kathy breathed after what felt like forever. "I don't…know what to say."

Chandler wanted to tell her that she didn't have to say anything, but they both knew that wasn't true. He needed some reassurance, and right now, it had to be verbal. This wasn't one of his mother's romances- Chandler wasn't able to simply look into someone's eyes and tell what they were thinking. So he, in turn, stayed silent, eyes carefully trained on his coffee cup.

"Chandler," Kathy tried again, and he winced inwardly. Whenever she said his name more then once in the space of a minute, she was trying to procrastinate on telling him something. He knew, because he did the same thing to a much greater extent. "I don't think this is going to work." Chandler paled. He had expected a somewhat bad reaction, but for some reason, their relationship, however dysfunctional, had given him the impression that everything would always turn out all right. "I feel like such a bitch for doing this to you, especially now-" her voice broke, and Chandler noted with not a little alarm that tears were running down her cheeks. He wanted to comfort her, but she was, after all, breaking up with him. Chandler always preferred to avoid awkwardness. "But- I- I can't deal with this. I want to, but I just can't."

"So this is goodbye," Chandler murmured, fingers clenched around his coffee cup in an attempt to keep them from trembling.

"I suppose it is," Kathy replied. Although she had regained most of her composure, her voice was still shaky. Then abruptly, she kissed him. He tasted the salt of her tears (and his as well) and briefly wondered if he was, indeed, getting sucked into a romance novel, for he imagined he tasted both of their regret and sorrow as well. When she pulled back, she whispered hoarsely in his ear, "I love you."

And then she fled.