Disclaimer: All characters are property of Hasbro/ Sony Wonder.
Jerrica
"So how are you holding up, Jerrica?" Video asked, passing me a bag of popcorn. I accepted it gratefully, stretching out on my sleeping bag as I did so. "I'm okay, I guess. I had a really bad nightmare while I was napping though." I shuddered at the memory and shoved a handful of popcorn in my mouth absentmindedly.
"Yeah, she told me about it. It's really eerie," Kimber remarked, handing out wine coolers to the rest in the circle. Shana flipped hers open and stretched lazily. "Care to share with the rest of the class, Miss Benton?" She cracked with a grin, trying to lighten the mood. I tried to smile at her and sighed hesitantly. Danse reached across Video's lap to pat my hand reassuringly. "Talking about it might help you feel better," She encouraged.
I settled myself stomach first on my sleeping bag and had a sip from my bottle, grimacing at the fizzy sweetness. Again I recounted the events of my dream, including how I started having the dreams in the first place. Everyone was quiet after I finished talking, letting the macabre imagery swim in their minds' eye.
"I still have dreams like that about my mother," Danse remarked finally, hugging her pillow to her body tightly. She looked at us sadly. "I still don't know what happened to her, so I can relate to what you're going through, Jerrica." A sigh escaped her lips as she tried not to cry. "My theory is that Victor had her killed, but I can never prove that. I've just learned to accept that I won't be seeing her again, and that's that." She looked at me again, tears in her eyes. "I can totally relate."
"That's awful," Raya whispered, and the rest of us echoed the sentiment. Video took Danse in her arms and let her cry for a little while, and we all offered small words of comfort. As heartbreaking as the scene was, I had to admit to myself that only a true friend could let herself go in front of people like that. Finally Danse sat up and wiped her tears away, forcing her pretty lips into a half-hearted smile. "Thanks, everyone, but I'm being a buzzkill here. Jerrica's the one having bad dreams now. And what was with your mom saying 'this is far more than you are equipped for'? And the earrings making you bleed?" She queried, and I immediately started feeling queasy.
Aja, who was sitting next to me, leaned in and whispered, "Telling your close friends here would be a good start." I glared at her, my gut churning, but nodded slowly. "Okay."
"Should I start from the beginning?" I asked. Shana, Raya, and especially Kimber looked up at me with alarm on their faces, but I held up my hand. "I know what you guys are thinking, but it's time to tell someone." I sighed. "Besides, I trust Danse and Video. They're honorary Holograms," I said, making them blush, "and my first step in the right direction.." A sigh escaped my lips. "Would be letting them in on our - my big secret."
My sisters held their breath, and Danse and Video waited patiently for me to begin, although I was sure by now the suspense was killing them. "Go on, Jerrica," Video said softly. "Whatever it is that's eating you, you have to get it off your chest."
I sighed again, heavily this time, gathered up all my courage, and began my tale. "Okay. Well, to be blunt, I'm not exactly who you think I am. In fact. there's no other way to say this, so I'll just say it. I am Jem's real identity."
There. I'd said it. There it was, out in the open, for all to judge.
Jaws dropped, all around the circle. "What!" Video cried. "But that's impossible.isn't it?" Danse exclaimed, uncertainty in her voice. "And how, I mean, when - why-" Video continued, shaking her head in disbelief.
"I know it's crazy. Believe me, I know, but it's the truth. How could I lie about something like this?" I asked them, and they exchanged shocked glances before returning their attention to me. "I can explain everything. How, when, and I'll give why a shot." I said with a wry smile, trying to gain some of my footing back. Video just blinked at me, but Danse returned the smile. It was enough to encourage me to go on.
"All right. Well, after my mother died, my father began a very ambitious project in her memory. You may or may not know how skilled he was in the art of computer technology, but he was a bona fide genius." I said warmly, and Kimber and I smiled at the memories. "Well, his genius gave us a state of the art gift that we use in all our stage shows, and that's where Jem comes from."
"Jerrica, I'm not sure I follow you." Video mused, her brow furrowing. "Exactly what did Emmett Benton create?"
With a great deal of effort, I hoisted myself off of the floor and stood up fully. "Would you two like to meet her?" I asked, and the Holograms blanched. I rolled my eyes playfully at them. "Come on," I said to Danse and Video, heading out towards my study. They followed, and so did my sisters, eager to know what would happen next.
"Now I'm really confused," Danse remarked as the group headed as quietly as possible down the hall and into my office.
"Hang on." I said to them, and stepped inside the holographic wall, ignoring the gasps from Danse and Video as I entered. Dimly I heard Kimber and Shana assuring them it was part of the illusion.
Synergy's sensors swiveled towards me, and her violet tinged face turned to greet me. "What is it, Jerrica?" She asked in that innocent, metallic voice that now reminded me of my mom's melodic tone. I walked up to her screen and patted it reassuringly.
"I've decided that there are two more people who are ready to meet you for the first time. Is that all right with you?" I asked. Her control panel flickered, processing the request.
"You are sure, Jerrica, that they can be trusted?" She asked, and I told her so. "Then it is all right with me." Synergy replied. I nodded at her and went to fetch them. "I just wanted to warn you first, Synergy," I called out as I stepped through the wall again, where everyone was waiting.
"Synergy is ready for you, ladies!" I said, grinning. "Synergy?" Video said quizzically. "The merging of two separate entities to become a force greater than it's parts," Aja murmured, more to herself than to Video and Danse. The two of them hesitated, just as we all had when we were told by Synergy to continue driving through the wall.
"It's all right, you guys." Kimber spoke up, apparently trusting my judgment and beginning to relax. "Like we said, it's just an illusion."
Danse looked at Video and giggled nervously. "Aw, come on, Viv. Why not?" Video made a face and looked at the wall. "Because I'm not insane, that's why." Danse rolled her eyes and took her by the hand.
"I said, come on!" She exclaimed, and we all had to laugh at Video's flinching expression as Danse dragged her through the holographic wall. The five of us followed right behind them. The two women gazed in awe at the beautiful machine before them.
"Hello, Gisele, Vivian." Synergy greeted them coolly. Danse gasped. "How does it - or she - know our names?" She asked me as I stepped to the front of the group to make the introductions.
"Video, Danse, I want you to meet someone who's been a true friend to myself, and to the other Holograms. This is my father's brainchild, Synergy, the woman behind Jem and the Holograms. She's the only one of her kind; a holographic supercomputer." I said proudly with a dramatic sweep of my arm.
"This is absolutely incredible," Video marveled, walking around Synergy's components slowly to drink it all in. "I've heard about stuff like this in college and around VTV, but nothing could prepare me for this." She turned to me. "Is this where Jem comes from?"
"You are correct, Vivian," Synergy replied, causing Video to jump. "The persona of Jem is just one of the millions of images I am capable of creating." She then proceeded to demonstrate to Danse and Video some of her talents, including holograms of themselves, which made them laugh. I smiled in relief, and some of the tension left my body.
"This is awesome!" Danse exclaimed, looking about wondrously. Her face lit up as she got an idea. "Hey, can you show us?"
"Show you what? How I become Jem?" I asked innocently, and Video threw up her hands. "No, show us how you hit the high notes in 'Show Me the Way'. Yes, how you become Jem! This I gotta see!" She cried, and I laughed. Their enthusiasm was infectious, and it was such a release. I looked at Synergy, and she nodded knowingly as I touched my left earring.
"Showtime, Synergy!" I announced, and in a flash of pink that lit their faces, my hair grew long and fuchsia, and my boyish nightshirt instantly transformed into the classic pink minidress and silver fringed belt I wore in the beginning of our careers. "That's amazing," Video whispered, and Danse just stared.
"You must be warned, girls, that my existence must never be given out to anyone, for I could be a dangerous weapon if I were to fall into the wrong hands." Synergy intoned, and the grins faded slightly from their faces as the seriousness of the situation sunk in. "Don't worry, Synergy, your secret is safe with us." Video replied, and Danse nodded emphatically. They turned to me and smiled again.
"And so is yours," Video said sincerely. "Oh, thank God," I sang out, and hugged them both. "I appreciate this so much, guys. I really do. You don't know how hard it's been for me to keep this under wraps."
"Well, your dream gives us some idea," Danse remarked as I withdrew from their embrace. "Show's over, Synergy." As I changed back to normal, we bid goodnight to Synergy and walked back through the "wall" to return to the family room.
"So that's how you become Jem, huh?" Video whispered, noting we could still be heard by any passing Starlight Girl. "It's those earrings, isn't it? They transmit Synergy's frequency so the holograms can be used anytime, anywhere?"
"They didn't give you that degree at UCLA for nothing," I quipped, and she swatted my arm playfully as we all filed back into the family room. I swatted her right back, only to be promptly whacked in the head with a fluffy object by Danse.
"Ouch! Danse, what the hell!" I exclaimed, hastily grabbing a cushion off the couch to defend myself. "That's for holding out on us all this time!" She crowed jubilantly, but soon found herself attacked by yet another pillow. "And that's for hitting my sister!" Kimber shouted, laughing.
"Ow! Okay, you want some too?" Danse cried, retaliating with a hard swing that knocked Kimber flat on her rump. The other girls starting laughing and joined in, and soon the scene dissolved into a mess of shrieks and flying feathers.
"Excuse me, ladies!" Mrs. Bailey's voice commanded from the doorway, and we all froze in our tracks. She straightened her robe, obviously tossed on in a hurry, and ran a hand through her bed head hair. "The girls are all trying to sleep, and so am I." A frown was plastered upon her usually kind face.
"We're sorry, Mrs. Bailey." Kimber said sheepishly, and the rest of us added our apologies. "It won't happen again," Raya piped up, stifling a giggle as Aja fell on the floor with a plop. "You see that it doesn't, or I'll have all your heads on a platter!" Mrs. Bailey scolded with an accusatory finger, then yawned. "First thing in the morning." She sighed and smiled tiredly at us. "Good night, girls."
"Good night, Mrs. Bailey!" We chorused innocently as she made her exit, and started laughing uproariously as soon as she was gone.
"Okay, okay, that's enough." I said finally, and we all settled back into our now ruined sleeping arrangements. "Yeah, once we've pissed Mrs. Bailey off, it's time to call it even." Shana remarked, sitting on the couch beside Video and reaching for the remote. "What do you say we watch TV for awhile?" She suggested, switching off the radio and replacing it with the television set. Aja laughed as she saw what was on; our movie "Starbright".
"How appropriate!" She cracked. "Must be an Oscar loser's weekend on the movie channel, eh, Jerrica?" The others groaned, and I held up my own pillow as a silent threat, giving my friend a deathly look as I did so. Aja looked shocked and raised her hands in surrender. "Hey, I kid! I kid cause I love."
"Yeah, right." I said sarcastically, trying to keep the grin off my face. "You only love your flying V guitar and your exercise regime. That's about it."
"That is not true!" Aja replied haughtily, and then pouted. "I have a soft spot for Craig Phillips as well." I started to form a retort, but we were showered with popcorn and various hushes from around the room.
"Will you two give it a rest!" Kimber said, rolling her eyes at us. "Some of us are trying to watch the movie."
So, in our own best interests, Aja and I shut up and settled in to watch. I had to admit it we had really done a great job, all things considered. Even though I already knew everything that was going to happen, I still laughed at the jokes, tensed up at the action scenes and held my breath during the romantic ones, if only for my own reasons. And then came the next to last scene; where Rio, playing Johnny, brings my character flowers only to find thousands of men have already done the same.
"Thank you...I love roses!"
"That so? Seems like you got enough men sending them to you."
My chest began to tighten as Rio's character turned to leave. My stomach began to churn wildly, and I put my wine cooler down, clutching my abdomen. My head spun just as it had today at the party, and I suddenly felt very weak inside.
"Jerrica, are you okay?" Aja asked, looking very concerned. "Yeah, you don't look so hot," Shana added, but I could say nothing, do nothing but stare at the scene unfolding on the television.
"Johnny, wait!"
I tasted bile in my throat as Jem pulled Johnny close to her on the screen.
"Don't go." She whispered, and I whispered the line along with her.
As they kissed, the acid in my stomach bubbled inside me venomously, and I jumped up with a strangled cry, leaving the strains of "People Who Care" and the alarmed voices of my friends and sisters inside the family room. I ran desperately for the nearby bathroom, every step more of a struggle, and made it to the toilet just in time. The stress and strain of the past three days, to say nothing of these years before, rocketed out of me with a wretched force. It continued until I felt like I had vomited three years of my life, and in a way I had, by letting two other people into the circle of secrets that had become my life. I sank to the cold tiled floor beside the john, praying for relief.
There was a soft knock on the door, but I was too weak to answer. Aja and Kimber nudged the door open, came inside and squatted down next to me.
"Feel any better, sis?" Kimber asked, and I found my voice. "No," I replied softly. The two looked at one another and then each grabbed one of my arms, helping to stand me up. "Come on, then, let's get you back inside and lie you on the couch." Aja said, grunting with the effort of lifting me. The three of us together made our way back to the family room, where Danse, Shana and Raya sat in wait. Video had cleared the couch off for me, and laid an ice pack on my forehead as soon as Kimber and Aja lay me down.
Video gave me a sympathetic look as she put a blanket over me. "You poor thing. What happened to make you so sick like that?"
I groaned. "I guess I can't stand seeing Rio with another woman," I remarked lightly, trying to laugh. A frown of understanding crossed Video's face, and she and Danse looked at each other knowingly.
"Rio still doesn't know, does he, Jerrica? That you and Jem are the same?" Video asked gently, knowing full well what the answer was. Tears welled in my eyes, as I shook my head no. "It's no wonder, then." Danse remarked sadly.
"But why?" Video inquired, frustration in her voice.
"I guess I'm afraid. Afraid of how I know he'll react." I said miserably as my stomach gurgled audibly. "His temper is so unpredictable, and his pride is so fragile." I moaned as a fiery bolt of pain shot across my gut.
"Careful," Aja warned them. "We don't want to get her sick again."
"That's not it at all," Danse said softly. "I've seen how Rio gets. You've been with him for years, and surely you know most of all that his temper isn't that bad."
"Oh?" I replied hotly. "Well, I'd be happy to hear your side of my story!"
Danse ignored the barb and continued. "You're terrified of loss, Jerrica Benton." A silence fell across the room as I goggled at her in shock.
"Just hear me out." She pleaded. "Listen, the way I see it, ever since you lost your mom, a great burden has been placed upon you to take care of others and to ignore yourself. I think that stems from the guilt you feel from not saying goodbye properly. The same goes, I think, for your father, since his passing was also sudden, but mostly the ghost of your mother is the one that haunts you. That's why you feel the need to disguise yourself as Jem. That's why you can't bring yourself to tell Rio what's been going on. One more loss in your life, and you feel that you will finally crack open. But you know as well as we do that this cannot go on. It's literally making you sick."
Tears streamed down my face as Danse's words rang true, and I started to cry fully. "You're right. Everything you've said is true, I know. I just don't know how I can possibly fix things after all that's gone on. I just don't know." I covered my face in anguish and sobbed.
I found myself wrapped in my friends' arms, being told kind and comforting things as pain, both physical and mental, ebbed through my tired body.
"I know it's hard," Danse whispered in my ear, "but it has to be done."
"I know," I sobbed miserably.
"And we'll help you through it every step of the way." Aja added, and I opened my eyes finally to look at all my sisters gratefully.
"God, I'm so lucky to have you all!" I said lovingly through my tears, and pulled each woman to me in a group hug that lasted quite awhile. It was the last thing I remembered before sleep, deep, dreamless sleep, claimed myself and the others in its grasp.