A/N: This is pre-Harry.

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I woke up the next morning with the worst headache. I hope it goes away before detention time. Headaches can badly interfere with my devious Actually, I don't have a plan yet. But I will. Though I suppose I'd better hurry. I have my first detention right after dinner.

You know, I think I'm just going to wing it. I have all the way until December, and that's enough time to fix something if I screw it up. But I've never screwed up before. I'm always on top. That's what I've learned over the many years I've been flirting my ass off.

Everything leading up to detention was uninteresting. I won't bore you with it. It's already unfortunate enough that that's my life, but it's almost worse forcing someone else to sit through the positively boring aspects of my day.

Anyway, right before I left the Great Hall for Snape's classroom, I winked at Victoria and the rest of my friends. I just knew they'd be laughing at me after I leave.

I proceeded to the dungeons, my footsteps echoing on the stone corridors. I approached his door, which turned out to be wide open, welcoming me to his demon lair.

He was sitting at his desk eating.

Why don't you eat in the Great Hall? I asked.

He looked up, his fork midway to his mouth. I guess he didn't hear me come in. He set down his fork. I prefer to dine alone.But in your classroom?I couldn't risk you arriving in my classroom if I was still in my personal chambers. Sit.Right there.Yes sir, I said, mocking a salute.

He shook his head, and continued to eat.

So, what's my detention. Watching you eat? That's not much of a punishment.I mean, whatever that is looks disgusting.HARPER! This is DETENTION. You will stay silent unless spoken to. Do you understand, or does your impertinence get in the way?I understand. You know, I'm not really this arrogant. Only around you.And why might that be? he asked hotly.

I smiled. Because you're so obvious. So predictable.What difference does that make?I can tell what annoys you. And then you get so upset about it. It amuses me.That is absolutely ridiculous. I'm not here to amuse you, Harper.Please, just call me Meg.No, I think I'd prefer to call you by your surname.Well, I'd prefer to call you Severus, but we can't always get what we want, can we now.

By now, I think he was shaking with rage, but it's hard to recall. He was so angry, and I was trying quite hard not to laugh. Ah well, details aren't important.

I know your punishment, now, he said coldly.

Oh good! It's about time.You'll sit right here in front of me, and be silent.What if I'm not?If you're not, you'll serve the rest of your detentions with Professor McGonagall.

I didn't say a word after that.

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My next detention was rather boring. He resorted to that sort of silent punishment for quite a while. But that gave me a new reason to irritate him during class. I mean, what's the worst he could do. Give me more detentions? A lot of the stuff I did was pretty ornate, though. Please see the following examples:

Example # 1: I was bored, so I wrote Snape, you look sexy in all that black on a piece of paper. I pretend to pass it to Victoria, being very obvious that I was passing notes. He came up and snatched it from me, as I had hoped. When he read it, he turned red, then white, then red again as he turned to me, ripped up the note, and dropped all the little pieces on my notebook.

I don't understand you, Harper, he said. And I hope I never do. Another week's detention for you.

Example # 2: I was bored again, so when he walked past me and Victoria as he was checking our cauldrons, I whispered very loudly I hope he doesn't realize I just poured some love potion in his drink.

He looked very uneasy all day. He didn't drink a thing anyone gave him. Once he decided it was a trick, I got another two weeks detention.

Example # 3: I walked up to him after class and asked him if I could inspect what was under his robes. He just told me he would have a surprise for me in detention. I knew this wasn't a good thing.

And sure as hell, he did have quite a surprise for me. And it wasn't a good thing.