Here you are chapters 4 and 5, since I'm back from sunny Spain. Hope you enjoy! And keep reviewing!

Italics are flashbacks.

Chapter 4: ...His and Mine Are the Same

Kaylee stared up at them and felt her mouth drop open. This couldn't be real. They were supposed to be dead. If they were dead it was easier. Easier to forget. Easier to forgive six years...Simon. It was Simon. He still wore a white shirt, black vest and black trousers, under the long coat. His hair was longer, more hanging in his eyes. The white shirt a little more open at the neck. But he was still the doctor she remembered. And now he was holding out a silver pistol, aimed straight at Wash. He was a doctor, he shouldn't have a gun.

It was River who broke the dead lock, by leaping off her horse in one swift easy movement and running between them, crying to Simon, "Look I told you! Family!"

Simon stared at his sister and holstered his gun. He wore a holster low down on his right hip. He nods to Jayne who reluctantly lowered the wicked looking shotgun he held. Simon climbed off his own horse and Jayne followed. Then he glanced up and he met her eyes. There was a long moment.

"I don't ruttin' care Kaylee. Go! Get the doc and his sister to a shuttle! Now!"

Mal never yelled at Kaylee. She threw him a terrified glance back over her shoulder and ran towards the last place she'd seen Simon. She rounded a corner and entered the main hold on one of the raised gangways. It was full of smoke. Jayne had blown up the stairs. Reavers. There were Reavers down below. Reavers shrieking for their blood. Kaylee felt her skin creep. Then she came to a screeching halt. Part of the gangway was missing. On the far side stood Simon, River clinging to his arm, screaming like a banshee. Jayne was near them, firing Vera down into the Reavers below.

Simon looked up and their eyes locked. He realised in that instant all the might have beens and cursed himself. But part of him also realised that he didn't think he would ever see this girl again. He felt sick. Around them the gunfire and the screaming, the smoke and the fire faded away and all he could see was her. And Kaylee was crying.

Kaylee stared back at him. This wasn't happening. She couldn't get to him. And now Jayne was grabbing at Simon's free arm and yelling in his ear.

"We gotta gorram go doc! Get your ass to that shuttle dong ma?"

Jayne was dragging at River and Simon, and they were stumbling backwards, away from the gap, away from her.

"Simon!"

Simon's eyes had never left her.

"Wo ai ni," he said, barely loudly enough for her to hear. But she heard. He knew she had. He didn't know why he said it, what had possessed him at that moment.

Kaylee watched them vanish round the corner, then turned tail and ran.

Kaylee walked forward towards him. Everyone watched her with baited breath.

"Simon…" she breathed softly. Then she raised her hand and delivered a stinging slap to his cheek. "How dare you! I thought you were dead!"

The handprint was reddening on his cheek. He didn't move, just looked at her with sad eyes. Disappointed eyes. The Simon of old would have flinched, probably put his hand to his face.

"I know Kaylee. I'm sorry." He looked round at the others who were staring at him. "Who wrote the letters?"

There was deafening silence. Finally Zoë spoke up. "If no one sent those letters then…."

She broke off as a loud hungry baby scream broke from the vehicle. Jayne jumped, and half pulled the shotgun back up.

"What the hell?"

Wash ran back to the vehicle and returned, baby in arms.

"You had a baby?" Simon gaped, thinking that Zoë was the least maternal woman he'd ever met.

"Yeah," Wash grinned widely. "Meet Mal Washburn."

Six years. It was a lot of catching up to do. They sat round a bonfire for warmth as the wind whipped at them icily. They still sat in two 'camps' though, one either side of the fire. Simon explained what had happened to Shepard Book. How he'd taken sick and died, despite everything Simon did. They shared the letters they had been sent. Wash and Zoë enthused about little Mal. Simon explained why River was better, what cocktail of drugs kept her sane.

Screaming. Lots and lots of screaming. Things crawling in her skin. Hands on her. Simon…Simon like a rock to cling to in a storm. Then other hands dragging at him. Simon didn't want to go. He wanted to stay. He wanted to die. He wants to die with the taste of strawberries on his lips.

Other hands, pulling on her, rough hands.

"Run gorramit."

They're the only words that pierce the fog of her brain.

She's running. Feels like Simon's gone. His body is there but he's not in it. Big brother's been swept away.

She's blown like leaves on the wind. Dancing. They're dancing, all four of them. Then you drop hands and there's no more dancing. Then rough hands are smoothing her hair down as she screams. Not Simon's hands. No screaming. No touching. These hands don't listen. No touching guns. They've already been there.

"Why didn't you go back?" Inara finally asked.

"We couldn't. We had gorram Reavers on our tails. By the time we lost 'em we had barely enough fuel to land. We made it to Tanulia and just laid low. Couldn't risk the Alliance finding these two," Jayne said, nodding to the Tam's. "Did you go back?"

"Yes," Kaylee nodded, biting her lip. "And she was gone. Serenity was gone. There weren't no bits."

"We got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?"

"Big damn heroes, sir."

"Ain't we just."

Zoë stared out at the empty space. Mal couldn't have taken Serenity on his own. He needed Wash to pilot and Kaylee to keep her going. He was dead, he had to be. He couldn't do it alone. She knew he couldn't.

"Where is she?" Kaylee said panicked behind her.

"Gone."

"No…"

"Serenity is scrap metal Kaylee."

"Don't say that!"

"The captain is dead. Accept it."

Wash looked at his wife in shock at her coldness.

"Zoë…"

"He's dead. Gorram Reavers took him. Now we get out of here dong ma?"

Wash only realised that it was self-preservation when she turned away from a crying Kaylee and caught his eye. Zoë's eyes were haunted and he knew. She was hurting and he didn't know what to do to help. She was trying to stay in control. Save them all, be a big damn hero. Come home with the stories.

He looked down, away. He couldn't stop his wife's pain, couldn't understand it.

Wash didn't know what to say. He cursed himself for being the funny one. He was useless in a crisis. So he just headed back to the bridge. Inara sat staring out, tears running silently down her face. Wash slid an arm around her shoulders, gave her a one armed hug. It was nowhere near enough, but for now it was all he could do.

"He didn't need to go down with his ship. I told him that, I told him…" she trailed off softly.

"I know. But Mal was the captain. Always."

Translation: Wo ai ni - I love you