A/N: This is pre-Harry.

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I didn't mean it to go that way. Honestly. I know I seem like the bad person now, but I'm really not! Oh my god, who am I kidding?

The look on his face was still burning in my memory as I tried to sleep that night. That look of disbelief when I told him why I really acted how I did. Why did I even tell him? Maybe if I hadn't told him, I would still have a chance at winning the bet. The bet? Screw the bet. I just did something that may cost a human being their job, their dignity and their respect. I had to apologize. I had to confess to him. But that didn't exactly go the way I wanted it to.

Did that even count as an apology? It all was so fast. It came out of my mouth so suddenly I can't even remember what I actually said. I really need to sort this out better.

The next morning I came to breakfast with the utmost feeling of remorse in my gut. I looked up at the staff table, and saw Snape right away. He was sitting as he usually does, with a look of repugnance and boredom across his distinguished features. My heart sunk as I realized that he most likely wouldn't want to talk to me... ever. I assumed my detentions were canceled, but if they weren't, maybe they would be the best place to talk this whole situation out.

I sat down at the Slytherin table, and a second later, was followed by Victoria and my other friend Ashley.

Hey, Meg, said Victoria as she took her seat. Then she leaned closer. What's the Snape status, eh? laughed Ashley, taking a peach from a bowl in the center of the table. You've probably got it all in the bag by now.There is no Snape status,' I said quietly.

What do you mean, there is no Snape status? Victoria asked.

As in, the bet is off, I said in frustration. I gave myself a second to cool down before continuing. It was a stupid idea. Let's just forget it ever happened.Ha! I knew you couldn't do it, said Ashley, taking a bite of her peach. Little shit. I knew it.

Victoria smiled, and put an arm around me. It's okay. No one wants to get anywhere near him anyway, let alone in his bedroom. Gross! He's so disgusting.I know, right? giggled Ashley. He's so mean and ugly. He'd probably be begging you to fuck him. What a moron. How long do you think it's been since he's had a girlfriend?He's ever had a girlfriend? asked Victoria, and they both burst laughing.

What a greasy git!

I bit my lower lip so hard I drew blood. How could they say that? Do they have any respect at all? I was about to say something, when I realized: Just a day ago, I probably would be joining them. I ran a hand through my hair in exasperation, and left. I knew they were watching me all the way out.

Being in his class was very uncomfortable. I think all I did was sit there, and did everything exactly how he told me to. I guess people started to notice something wasn't right when I didn't act like I normally do. Snape also was acting a bit out of the ordinary. Well, not too unusual, but he was in a worse mood than normal. I think every house had about five-hundred points taken away from them by him alone, even Slytherin. But no one got detention.

That night I decided to go to detention. I still was unsure about this decision, but I knew I had to talk to him sometime. The door to his classroom was shut today. He did mention that he ate dinner in his chambers. Was that where he was? I wouldn't even consider going down there to talk to him. That would make everything much worse. I grimaced, and knocked lightly on the door. I waited for a few seconds before deciding that he wasn't here after all. I'll just come back some other day.

But just as I was about to leave, the door swung gently open. I turned suddenly and found myself face to face with a very solemn potions master.

Come in, he said monotonously. And yes, you do still have detention.

I nodded and took my usual seat silently.

Can you label ingredients, Harper? he asked, the same solemnity in his voice.

Uh... sure, I suppose.I have a shelf of ingredients for my potions on my desk. Make new labels for them, and shelve them in my back closet in alphabetical order.Yes, Professor.

I got right to it, no questions asked. After a few moments, once I had gotten to labeling the E' section, he spoke.

This is quite the change of heart, Harper, he said quietly.

I sighed. You've got to grow up sometime, I suppose. I mean, start actually doing what you're told.

He nodded, and began pacing a bit.

My hands were getting slightly sweaty on the bottles of ingredients, and I was so scared I was going to drop one. That would make a right fool of myself, I was sure. So I just wiped my hands on my jeans and continued.

I took one final deep breath, and decided to bring up last night. Well, sort of.

I uh...wanted to better apologize. I... Wasn't thinking. I really wasn't. I'm sorry.

He stopped pacing, and looked up at me. His eyes were cold, black, and glittering. I never realized how beautiful they were until now. They were like sparkling black beetles in the sun.

Take a seat, Harper, he said slowly.

I set down the bottle I was holding cautiously, and walked over to my usual desk.

Now, can you please explain better to me what happened...I guess, mostly why it happened.

His voice sounded so defeated. It made me feel so much more guilty than I already did. But I knew I had to be truthful.

It was all a bet. My friend... I decided to leave Victoria's name out of it. She bet me that I could get myself in your bedroom before Christmas break. See, I'm always doing stuff like this! I slammed my fist on the table. I hate it. I mean, I've never felt so guilty about hurting someone before. I'm so sorry, I'll do anything to be forgiven. But I'm always doing this!

He closed his eyes, and I could see his nose twitch as he inhaled slowly. Then he opened his eyes and stared at me, his beetle black eyes looking sickly. I shouldn't have given in like that. You cannot take all the fault for what happened.Well, you seemed pretty okay with me taking the fall yesterday, I said slowly.

I was shocked, he said after a long pause. I could tell he was nervous about admitting something.

It's okay, you don't have to...

He shook his head. No. I used to have a lover. Back when I was in school. She was my whole world that last year of Hogwarts. We'd come into the potions room because it was the only classroom that would be left unlocked. I smiled a bit at the fond memories from our old potions master. It was true, she never did lock the door. And we would come in here, and spend hours doing everything we shouldn't have. Anyway, she died.Yes. She died. She refused the Dark Lord. One of the only people I knew who didn't. And she was killed for it. I was devastated. It ... it really brought me to a reality of the world. So, when you... did that, it reminded me so much of Ophelia.That was her name?Yes, it was. The funny thing is that, you're nothing like her. I don't know why I was so... entranced by likeness.

I smiled. How are we not alike? he began. For one thing, her hair was dark and curly. Very curly, actually. I touched my own hair tenderly. I always loved it, but it certainly wasn't dark, nor curly. It was white-blonde, stick straight and thin.

What else? I asked.

Well, she was fairly shy at first. Obviously unlike you. And she was a tall person, and she wasn't very clever. But I loved her anyway.

I sighed and looked down. It felt so weird hearing him talk about his ex-lover. But it wasn't exactly because he was my professor.

I've never fallen in love, I said.

He looked at me for a moment, but said nothing.

I've made out with almost every male in Slytherin, even a girl or two for a dare, and even had... well, I've never loved any of them.

He continued to look at me. You need to fall in love, he said, looking right at me.

I... I know, I stuttered under his glance.

We both just silently looked at each other a few more moments. Finally, he broke the silence.

You'd better get back to work. Time is almost up.

I nodded quietly, and returned to my job of labeling and alphabetizing.

After detention was over, I didn't say another word to him as I left. He didn't even look up as I walked out.

As I fell asleep that night, I cried. I cried and cried myself to sleep for hours. I was so confused. And I refused to believe the worst. Was it really the worst, though? Maybe I had finally truly fallen in love.