A/N: This is pre-Harry.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

In romance novels, the cover always features a ruggedly handsome young man with dark hair and sometimes shirtless holding a gorgeous young woman with long flowing hair in a beautiful dress, and both the dress and her hair often look like a strong gust of wind is blowing, even when the man looks like no wind is touching him at all. Also there is very often a scenic castle or ocean behind them, as well as the common unicorn.

Severus Snape is not a ruggedly handsome young man, and doesn't exactly look perfectly muscled shirtless. I am not a gorgeous young woman in a beautiful dress, and a strong gust of wind does not follow me around blowing my frail blonde hair and messy Hogwarts uniform around me gracefully. If anything followed me for the rest of this story, it was a big dark rain cloud, as grey as they come.

If Snape and I were to become the center of a romance novel, our cover would look like this: Myself in all my glory, Hogwarts uniform dirty and all, crying at Snape's knees, grabbing onto his faded dark robes, and Snape stroking my hair with one hand and grasping my hand, digging his nails into my flesh, with the other. We would be in the dark with the dungeon walls in the background. If that cover doesn't sound appealing to you, I don't blame you. It doesn't sound appealing to me either. Trust me. But after that last night, my twisted romance horror began to unfold. It was only the beginning...

Did I really love Severus Snape? I couldn't judge. I'd never fallen in love before. How the hell was I supposed to tell. But I felt so weird around him. Like I would get the shivers every time he spoke, but it was like getting shivers from being too warm. It was like something was pulling at my heart every time I hear his name. It wasn't even the feeling of wanted to do him. I just wanted to be with him as much as possible. It was like, fast happiness. Like drugs, but without the health hazard.

After a few days of feeling this way, I decided this was love. All of a sudden, Snape looked so beautiful to me. He looked more intelligent, more desirable. Actually, when I think about it, it makes sense. He was older. He seemed like someone to protect me. Also, it was like the sympathy I had for what I did led to other feelings. I don't even know how to explain it. Sympathy leading to real love? Maybe after he exposed his flaws, and I found I could love even his flaws, I knew it could only get better.

And once you cracked under his cold skin, he was so easy to talk to. The next few detentions I had with him, we just talked. Sometimes he'd remember to actually make me do something, but we still talked. We talked about so much. Eventually we came upon the topic of our parents, which led me to a relieving confession.

My parents are so respected in the wizarding world, I told him. I mean, they both work for the ministry, and are so high on the adult social ladder. I mean, I know they keep some dirty secrets for their friends, like the Malfoys for one, but no one knows about that stuff. No one asks. They're so rich and powerful, no one bothers. But anyway, they pretty much control my life. I pretty much have to talk to all of their friends and seem just as sophisticated as them. They even pick all of my classes on what they think is most important. I can't even eat what I want, at home at least, because my mum says I need to stay skinny and desirable-looking so I can marry wealthy.
But anyway, I guess that's why I'm so sexual with people. That's one thing I keep private from my parents, and I am in control of. So I choose to be aggressive about it. It keeps me amused and feeling free. I wish I didn't though. I wish I wasn't so aggressive about it. I wish I could just calm down.You know, you can if you want to. It's not like anyone will murder you if you don't, he said.

I nodded. I'm working on it.

Tonight I have detention again, of course, but it's my second to last detention. I figure if I'm going to say anything about how I feel, it might as well be soon.

But when I got to his classroom, I decided today all I wanted to do was continue talking.

So, why do you always dress in black? I asked him that night.

Why not dress in black?Yeah, but why? There are so many real colors in the world. Green for instance. Green for Slytherin.It's just something I wear. It draws attention away from me, but at the appropriate times, can command more attention than any other color or shade.That makes a lot of sense, actually. Want to know what I wear out of school uniform?Lots of blue jeans. Lots and lots. And boring solid color t-shirts. My parents hate them. They say I need to have a certain conception to what I wear. But I do. It's to block out what other people's conceptions of me might me. It's awfully hard to correctly judge a girl in just jeans and a t-shirt. Because so many different types of people wear jeans and a t-shirt.And what type of jean-wearing person are you, Meg?Well, I guess I'm sort of... I paused. Wait. You just called me Meg.So I did.But you always call me Harper, or Miss Harper.Well, I guess you've earned yourself a first name. Now, finish the question.

I smiled at him, and began again. I guess I'm sort of a person who knows what she wants, and will do whatever it takes to get it. It makes her feel like she has a purpose.But what does this girl have to chase what she wants? he asked, raising an eyebrow. Why can't she let it come to her?Well... I suppose that's a good question. But the girl thinks it's just easier to get what she wants herself. She doesn't like to wait.Is that all?Yes. Actually... no. I'm... I mean, this type of girl, is scared that what she wants will never want her back.That's a reasonable fear, he said quietly. But I think this girl might be surprised by how much the thing she wants, wants her back.

At that moment, my heart did a complete summersault. I could feel it. I wanted to cry out, and scream out the window and tell everyone how much I loved this man. How undeserving I felt of even being around him sometimes. But then it struck me. If he really did mean what he said, and wanted me back, if I interpreted what he said correctly, does that mean he thinks this way about me too? He feels undeserving and exhilarated and high and just so perfectly wonderful as well?

All of a sudden I looked up and realized that I had been staring into space for nearly three minutes or so. I shook myself, and looked back at Snape.

You're lying to me, I said quietly, but there was still a smile on my face.

Maybe I am, he said cooly. Are you going to find out?

I opened my mouth to speak, but then closed it again. But finally I did manage to get something out. It just wasn't what I wanted to say.

I think time's over, I said, not looking at him.

Then I'll see you tomorrow, he said. I didn't look at his face, so I couldn't see his expression. And his voice was too emotionless to tell anything.

So once again, out of habit, I got up and left without saying good-bye. I hate that I do that.