Disclaimer: All characters are property of Hasbro/Sony Wonder.
---Jerrica
Bright white filled the cavernous room. I opened my eyes timidly, expecting to find blood flooding out of my head, or Mom handing me another lemonade at the very least.
"Drop it, asshole!" Rio's voice screamed. He and Anthony suddenly burst into the room in an explosion of noise and violent scuffle. Blinking, I watched the scene play out in slow motion from under Eric's hunched form.
"No! She belongs to me!" Eric bellowed as Rio dragged him off of me, throwing him with all his might against the concrete wall. There was a sickening thudding sound as Eric butted Rio in the head, pushing him away with almost superhuman strength. My heart stopped as he held the gun to Rio's head, but Rio wasn't even fazed. He leapt at the haggard man with a vengeful shout, landing a devastating punch into Eric's abdomen, then another squarely in the jaw, knocking his teeth together hard. Eric stumbled, and the two men, seeing their opportunity, lunged for him. I tried not to scream as their bodies hit the wall.
Anthony held Eric back as Rio repeatedly knocked Eric's right hand against the wall, finally causing him to drop it. He dove to retrieve it, turning the weapon on it's demented owner.
I took in all the commotion from my position on the floor, dazed and still in pain. Further adding to the disorienting feeling were the sounds of hundreds of police cars roaring up to the building, their sirens screaming an eerie authorative warning.
"LAPD!" Came the squawk of one officer's megaphone. "Come out with your hands up!"
"Your time is up, Raymond!" Rio growled to Eric through gritted teeth, trying to force him out the door with Anthony's help. Even holding the man at gunpoint, both of them still struggled to keep him under control. Eric growled a loud string of foul epithets, thrashing wildly in their grip.
My eyes drifted towards the floor, widening in awe at the unexpected sight of "Jem" lying next to me on the floor. The hologram stirred and moaned, trying to sit up much like I was.
Well, if I can't do it, neither can you, I thought crazily, And how exactly are you lying there, anyway? I can't project you; he smashed the other earring.
Five heavily armed men ambushed the flailing Eric, forcing his arms behind his back while locking his wrists in handcuffs. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law - "
Eric lunged out of their arms suddenly, trying in vain to get at me. "I'll make you mine!" He howled, wrenching his body into a horribly twisted stance as the officers tried to hold him back. "You'll see, I'll make you pay for this, Jerrica, you lying whore!"
"You have the right to an attorney," the officer grunted out as he shoved Eric out the door. "If you cannot provide one, the state will provide a lawyer for you..."
"It's that computer, I tell you! Hey, hands off me, she did this to me, she's mine!..." The abrupt slam of the police cruiser's door cut Eric's venomous rant blessedly short.
Panting from the overwhelming exertion, Rio approached me with worry in his eyes. "You okay?"
I blinked at him, momentarily unable to form words. Numbly I nodded my head, which immediately set off a tremor of pain, radiating from the place Eric had hit me with the gun. Rio noticed me wince and squatted beside me to examine my injuries.
"My God, you're bleeding!" He exclaimed, reaching out to touch my mutilated earlobe. Drawing back with a yelp, I clapped my hand over my throbbing wound. "Anthony, get the medics in here, hurry!" Rio called out over his shoulder to the dark man. "Right!" Anthony answered, rushing out the door.
"No," I protested in a weak voice, managing to finally sit upright. "I'm fine, really. It's just a flesh wound."
My words trailed away as I watched the "Jem" hologram do the exact same thing as one of the techs came to her side.
"I don't need a doctor," She stated bluntly. "I'm not hurt, so please leave me alone." Anthony, Rio and I watched, eyes wide, as the image walked rather unsteadily out the door, eventually hiding behind a bush and dissappearing. The two men turned back to me with a questioning look.
"I didn't do it," I said to Rio, as shocked as he was. "I can't...my earring..."
Anthony bent to pick something up off the floor where "Jem" had been, peered at it, and handed it to me. It was my earring, badly crushed but somehow still functional. I spotted my mother smiling in the corner before her image evaporated.
It dawned on me, in the depths of my traumatized mind, that she had managed to project it from the broken earring on the floor, knowing I needed help. I couldn't explain it, even to myself, but somehow I immediately understood everything; how I could literally feel the touch of Synergy and my mother, how a hologram could be projected from a destroyed transmitter, the recurring nightmares, everything. Mom isn't just Synergy's inspiration, she is Synergy! She's been watching through her all this time.
"Jerrica?" Rio's voice was suffused with worry as I began to sway back and forth, dizzy from loss of blood and the strain of new discoveries.
"I'm...fine." I assured him, promptly falling into his arms as I passed out.
---Rio was still by my side as I found myself lying in a hospital bed, covered in nothing but a thin paper gown. He had his head in his hands. It was cold in the room, making me feel a sudden sense of exaggerated modesty as I tried to pull the sheets up over my chest. The movement caused him to look up, and his eyes brightened.
"Jerrica, you're awake!" He said, obviously awash with relief. Shame overcame me, and I rolled over in bed, ignoring the throbbing protests of my damaged skull.
"You're at Cedar-Sinai hospital. They decided to keep you overnight." Rio continued, thinking I wasn't aware of my surroundings yet. "The doctors performed some emergency surgery to fix your earlobe, and the x-rays revealed a bad concussion, but you're going to be all right." I listened as his voice seemed to tremble. "You're lucky to be alive."
"Rio, why did you come for me?" I asked him, staring at the wall to avoid looking at him. "I decieved you. I made a fool of you. I lied to you, and you ran from me. I deserved this."
I felt Rio's soft touch on my naked back. "Nobody deserves what you went through. I never could have forgiven myself had I not tried to help you."
Hot tears spilled over the edge of my eyes, dripping onto the starched white pillowcase. "I don't understand. You hate me. Why are you still here?"
There was a brief, startled silence. "Jerrica, I don't -"
"Jerrica! Oh, Jerrica!"
Kimber rushed into the room, flowers in hand, running to my bedside to embrace me. The flowers dropped to the floor as we threw our arms around one another. I clutched her to me, filled with love and utter relief.
"Oh, Kimber, I'm sorry, honey. I'm so sorry about all of it." I moaned into her tangled red hair. She let out a loud, heavy sob.
"Don't you ever leave me again. Don't you ever bring anything like this upon yourself ever again. I thought you were fucking dead. I thought you were dead and you'd left me all alone." Kimber wailed, gripping me to her as tightly as she could.
Rio tried to say something more, but he was interrupted again by the arrival of my other sisters and a white clad woman whom I assumed was one of the doctors in question.
"Ms. Benton, you're concious!" The doctor chirped, checking my chart at the foot of the bed. "How are you feeling this morning?"
Kimber released me from her grieving embrace, and I groaned as I gingerly hoisted myself into a sitting position. "My head still hurts, but I think I'm all right." The doctor nodded, her impossibly tight bun of brown hair bobbing up and down.
"No nausea, no vomiting, ringing in the ears?" She asked, ticking the symptoms off of her fingers.
"No."
She seemed pleased with my response, nodding emphatically. "Well, those are very positive signs, indeed. How's your ear?"
"It's fine," I replied, my hand instinctively reaching to touch the phantom earring. Shana noticed the movement and dug in her pocket, coming up with a plastic bag.
"Anthony told me to give it to you," she said, looking at the broken trinket sadly. My eyes welled up again at the sudden memory of Eric tearing it away, not to mention my father would have been heartbroken to see his work destroyed like that.
"...the other doctors have no objections, so I'm recommending that you go on home and get some rest." The doctor was saying, reaching to disconnect my intravenous tube and EKG monitor. She looked at me furtively. "I'd also highly reccomend some kind of psychotherapy, after the considerable trauma you've experienced. I can give you the names of some specialists, if you wish."
Not knowing what to say, I nodded mutely, still fixed on the shattered earring while fiddling with the one I still wore. The woman smiled politely and wished me well before exiting, nodding at Rio, who sighed.
"I'll go take care of the paperwork," He said with a note of sadness before following the doctor.
Kimber took his place in the adjacent chair while Aja, Shana and Raya helped me find my clothes and dress myself with as little pain as possible. Thankfully, the more I moved, the more used to the pain I became. As I pulled on my clothing, I told them about the mysterious dream of Mom and Dad, what she had told me, and the inexplicable appearance of "Jem". I even told them about feeling Synergy's touch, though saying it aloud made me wonder to myself if the concussion was worse than the medical staff was telling me.
"I believe it," Kimber said, as we all looked at her. "I've seen both of them more than a few times around the mansion, especially when we were rerecording 'First Love' and reading Dad's diary. Well, I've seen their outlines, anyway. I think they know better than to just show up and scare us."
Aja shook her head. "I think you're a little sleep deprived, honey."
Kimber scowled. "I know my father when I see him," She defended herself, "and Mom, too. Just because you can't see them, Aja, doesn't mean they're not really there."
"Enough," I said with an exhausted groan. "Continue it later if you must. Right now, one of you needs to contact the media and set up a press conference for this afternoon. I'm going to let Rio sign me out, and I'll stay with him for the time being. God knows, we have a lot to catch up on." Rio reentered the room just as those words left my mouth. Closing his eyes, he sighed softly and nodded.
The other Holograms' body language clearly told me they did not agree with this, but no one dared say a word. "Whatever you want, Jerrica." Raya answered nonchalantly, looking at Kimber with a resigned shrug.
Hugging each one of them in turn, I promised to meet them at Starlight Music in two hours, knowing privately that they would probably use Synergy to track my existing transmitter, just as a precaution.
Their nervousness was palpable as Rio took my hand and led me from the room.
---For a while, neither of us said anything as the red van cruised along the Santa Monica freeway. My body was folded up in a tense crouching position, daring to look over at the sullen young man driving silently next to me every so often. His face was utterly unreadable, and his beautiful brown eyes stared hard at the road that was rapidly dissappearing under the van's tires.
Rio's voice suddenly pierced the membrane of silence, startling me. "So it really was you. The entire time, you were Jem." It was a statement, not a question.
Swallowing hard, I told him yes as my stomach began to churn. He made a curt, angry sound of understanding, and I noticed his knuckles turning white from his grip on the steering wheel.
"Well, that would explain how 'Jem' knew where to find me that day," His eyes flicked in my direction. "After confronting Riot at the wind harp." He paused. "One of many things that makes more sense now. But I still don't understand why you let Riot pursue you on top of keeping yourself hidden from me. Jerrica, what were you trying to do to me? Did you enjoy arousing my jealousy that much?"
I closed my eyes, rubbing my forehead to try to massage my oncoming headache away. "It wasn't like that, and it still isn't. Riot provided a sorely needed distraction from our mounting troubles," I explained sadly. "He didn't ask the questions that you always seemed to constantly need the answers to."
"I see. And yet those 'mounting troubles' were solely your own doing." He said quietly, and I flinched at the words that were a little too reminiscent of Eric's abusive tirade.
"I said, 'our' mounting troubles." I retorted sharply, beginning to feel more than a little angry with him. I knew the ongoing deception was my doing, but did he honestly think he had nothing at all to do with any of it?
Just up ahead, the glittering sunny beacon of the Pacific beckoned invitingly, it's horizon broadening as we advanced closer to it's shores. The conversation stalled as Rio maneuvered through the beach traffic, trying to find a scenic place to park. Selecting one a few yards away from where most of the cars were, he turned the van into the niche, violently shoving the stick shift into the parking position and cutting the engine.
"Did you sleep with Riot?" Rio asked me bluntly, and I whipped my head around in shock and disgust.
"What?" I exclaimed.
"I think it's a fair question," Rio countered with an edge in his voice. I glared at him resentfully, folding my arms across my chest. "Well, I know for a fact that you slept with Jem." I shot back, rather enjoying the way his face turned bright purple as I said it. His jaw clenched and released.
"And if you were capable of 'cheating' on me with Jem, how am I to believe that you're not capable of cheating with someone else?"
Rio's eyes flashed with anger. "Jerrica, you know I never loved anyone but you."
I rolled my eyes, making a scoffing noise. "Oh, please. I think you lost track of who was who. That being said, if you made love to me while I was Jem, then whether I slept with Riot or not - and he never touched me, by the way - is null and void."
"No, it's not." Rio retorted. "I made love to you knowing you were Jem!"
"Then why didn't you say anything! Why did you let the deception keep going!" I exploded, thrusting my finger in his face angrily. "This is all as much your fault as it is mine!"
"Oh yeah? How do you figure?" He seethed, waiting for my answer with an obvious air of self-righteousness.
"Because I tried to tell you!" I revealed. "Oh, yes, Mr. Pacheco, so many times I wanted to tell you the whole truth, in fact I burned with it, but in the end it was always you who pushed me away." He stared at me in disbelief, and I smirked.
"That's right, you did. Remember that one time I sat you down in the backyard and told you I had to tell you something important? And I made you promise up and down that you would hear me out?" I watched as his brow creased from the memory.
"What you told Kimber that day made my blood run cold," I said, sinking back into the car seat to stare out at the ocean. "'I hate deception, and I despise liars. It would serve you right if they never spoke to you again!'" I mimicked, repeating the phrase that had rang in my head for years. Rio frowned.
"You were going to tell me that day?" He asked, and I nodded. "Because of what you did, I decided that I couldn't tell you, that you couldn't take it. But I couldn't take losing you, and so I lied. I lied for years just to keep you by my side, which was wrong, but there wasn't any other way."
Rio groaned and threw up his hands. "Well, you could have told me straight out for starters!"
"Oh, God, Rio, what does it matter!" I cried, resigning myself to the angry shedding of tears. "What does any of it matter anymore?" He sighed then, reaching up to touch my hair, but hesitating at the last second. Without a word, he took my hand and held it for a long time.
"The media isn't going to wait forever," Rio said finally, breaking the tension. He looked at me. "What are you going to tell them?"
I pursed my lips, wiping my eyes as I took a deep breath of salty air. "The truth, I suppose."
"The whole truth? Even about your father's machine?"
My heart skipped a beat. I hadn't thought about how to explain Synergy; I didn't even know how he knew about her. "I can't make her existence known to the public," I told him. "She's such a powerful tool, and could be devastating if she falls into the wrong hands, especially after all this."
He raised an eyebrow at me. "'She'?"
"The machine's name is Synergy." I admitted, unconciously tightening my grip on his hand. "Dad fashioned her in my mom's likeness, about three months after she died."
Rio blinked in disbelief. "And just when I thought I'd heard everything. Your dad built a robot in the shape of your mom."
Rolling my eyes, I sighed at him. "No, she's not a robot. Oh, never mind. You'll know soon enough."
We fell into silence again, but Rio interrupted it quickly. "You don't have to tell them about her. All you really have to say is that you've been performing under the stage name 'Jem'. Technically, there's no real reason the world should know why. Just tell them you've been using wigs and makeup, if anything at all.
"Actually," He continued as I looked at him in surprise, "I've been wondering why you didn't just do that in the first place, instead of using the machine."
"Synergy," I corrected him absently. "It's a long story, Rio. But I promise you I'll tell you all of it, after I take care of the obvious business."
Rio nodded solemnly and let go of my hand to start the engine. He did, much to my relief, take it back again when we got on the road again, and held it for the entire drive to Starlight Music.
---Rio
After we arrived back from our little excursion, all of the Holograms sequestered Jerrica into her office, making me wait outside with Joanie while the five of them tensely discussed their options. When they finally emerged, Jerrica filled me in on the bare minimum of the details and let Joanie in on the secret. The stately Scottish woman had been as shocked as I was, but bore none of my personal pain as she embraced the concept wholeheartedly, swearing to take the secret of Synergy to her grave.
An excited murmuring hush filled the conference room now as the woman I'd loved most of my life finally made her entrance, all the Holograms and her beloved secretary in tow. I trailed behind as I followed them, knowing they were still not entirely comfortable with my presence. Three armed guards filtered inside silently after us, prepared for the worst.
Flashbulbs went off all over the room as Jerrica steadily climbed the short set of stairs to the top of the podium, staring out at the formidable obstacle in front of her. Even from my angle, I could see her chest rise and slowly fall with a very deep indrawn breath. I couldn't really say I blamed her for being so nervous; the tension in the room was so thick it vibrated, and I knew she had carried this burden of hers for some time.
Jerrica blinked, cleared her throat, and stepped up to the microphone. Every journalist in the room leaned forward with hot anticipation, craving the biggest scoop of the year, if not the decade.
"First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for their assistance and support in these trying couple of days. I appreciate your concern for my well being and I am very grateful - and lucky - to be alive. In that spirit, there is something that I've been keeping to myself for a very long time, something I wish to speak out about at this time."
One at a time, Jerrica looked at Kimber, then Aja, Shana, Raya, and finally me. Closing my eyes briefly, I nodded at her, and she turned back bravely to the throng of reporters.
"I have been performing with the Holograms under the stage name 'Jem' while operating Starlight Music as well." A gasp rippled through the crowd. It started to build into a barrage of harried questions, but she held up a patient hand in protest. "Please, I'll answer your questions after I've finished my statement."
To my surprise, the majority of them relented and listened. "Thank you. As I was saying, my motives for keeping my identity a secret are private, and I hope everyone can respect that. I have been using wigs and different kinds of makeup onstage, contrary to popular belief. The technical glitch during our performance was caused by a simple special effects malfunction. Nothing more, nothing less."
She cast a nervous glance in my direction, having repeated carefully what I had advised her to say, and I discreetly signaled back my approval. Some things, I had learned, really were just better off unsaid.
"So saying, the band has collectively decided to drop the "Jem" from our name and only be known as The Holograms from now on." Jerrica continued, speaking directly into the microphone. "I will continue to perform with them, if the sensitivity of our fans allows, and the Holograms, as a group, are all so grateful for all the support they have given us over the years. Thank you all for your time."
The reporters erupted in a cacophony of excited shouts and fevered questions, mostly the ones that Jerrica had probably been expecting. Her spine was ramrod straight, her posture commanding attention and respect. I watched her intently as she began to answer one by one diplomatically, giving no more information than was absolutely necessary. After the questions began to repeat themselves, Jerrica thanked the media again and stood up to leave the conference room.
With the others following a few respectful paces behind, Jerrica and I walked away together from the clamoring crowd. She was still obviously very shaken, but her expression was one of the purest relief. I had to admit, even as angry as I still was, that I'd never been so proud of that woman in all my life.
---Jerrica
Kimber was humming "She's Got the Power" under her breath as we filed inside the mansion. I knew she meant well and was ecstatic that I had finally done what I had to do, but I just wanted to throw up. More than anything, I prayed fervently to any god that would listen that I had actually done the right thing by outing myself to the world. When I asked Synergy to turn me into someone outrageous for that Battle of the Bands three long years ago, never did I realize that that one action could lead to so many consequences.
"Rio," I said to the man on my left weakly as he stood waiting in the hallway, "do you know where my study is?"
He thought a moment, then told me that he did. "Good," I replied, "do me a favor and wait for me there until I'm finished with the girls, please? Just don't touch the wall on your right. Don't do anything until I get to you, okay?" My eyes pleaded with him as his lips tightened into a firm white line. "Please."
Silent and still feeling a bit suspicious, Rio reluctantly agreed, turning and dissappearing down the hall. I sighed, on the verge of tears again. Taking a moment to collect myself before entering the family room, I drew a deep breath and joined the anxious Starlight Girls and the Holograms.
"Jerrica, you're okay!"
"Oh, thank goodness, I was so scared..."
"What happened to your ear?" I recognized the last voice as Deirdre's.
All of them came to me at once, hugging me, I noticed, with much more restraint than usual. Managing a wan smile, I thanked them and settled myself on the couch, trying to think of how I was going to explain everything.
Ashley, ever the instigator, popped the question first. "Why'd you do it, Jerrica?" Terri and Marianne echoed her sentiment.
"I know why," seventeen year old Lela piped up angrily. "She doesn't trust us, that's why. She thinks we can't keep a secret." Then everyone was talking and shouting at once.
Tears immediately sprang to my eyes, and Aja noticed my angst, stopping the madness with a barked demand for silence. "Everyone needs to lay off. Jerrica has just endured a horrific ordeal," She practically shouted. "No one here has any right to judge before she has a chance to tell her side of the story. No one else is speaking out of turn anymore, do I make myself clear?"
Aja cast a challenging stare at the group, but mainly in Ashley and Lela's direction. No one dared to challenge her authority. Slightly relieved, I thanked my best friend with a silent nod and began my explanation with a heavy sigh.
"First off, thank you, you guys, for being so concerned about my welfare. I know how scared and shocked you all must feel, but I assure you, I'm going to be all right. That said, it's obvious that Kimber, Aja, Shana and Raya have already spoken with you about my being Jem."
Everyone held their collective breaths as I continued my speech. "Well, my reasons for doing what I did are very personal, and very much none of anyone's business here. I know all of you girls can and will respect that.
"Furthermore, I kept up the disguise of Jem around you only for privacy issues. I trust each and every one of you, but at the time I felt that I should not reveal myself. I'm truly sorry if anyone feels hurt or betrayed by that; that was never my intention.
"I do use a computer for special effects in some of our performances, but I'm not going to say what I do to turn myself into Jem."
Christie patiently raised her hand, and I nodded at her with a smile. "What is it, Chris?"
"It's special makeup, isn't it?" She asked excitedly, and I laughed a little, knowing how much she loved fashion. "You can call it that if you want." I told her. "Other than that, there's nothing more to say on the subject, really. I love you girls, I always have, and I'm still your caretaker. None of that is ever going to change."
I'd never seen Ashley look so sad and forlorn as she replied, "We love you too, Jerrica. Please don't go away again. Be Jem, be whatever you want, but don't let anybody hurt you ever again!" She started crying, and a few other girls became upset, too.
I've had enough of tears to last a lifetime, came the fleeting thought that dissappeared as quickly as it arose. I held out my arms to them in silent apology, and all of the girls climbed up to embrace me. Some were in tears, some were not, but all of them had come so close to losing the only mom most of them knew, and all were acutely aware of it.
---After getting off the phone with a very relieved BaNee and an equally concerned Martin, I retreated to my study, where Rio was waiting, quite literally, on the edge of his seat. He practically jumped as I entered the room.
"Are you ready?" I asked him with trepidation. Casting a wary glance at the wall to his right, Rio stood up and nodded. Knowing it was now or never, I took his hand and led him through the invisible barrier.
He flinched reflexively to avoid hitting the plaster that wasn't there, then stared wide eyed at the room's top secret contents. Forgetting him momentarily, I dropped his hand and rushed to Synergy's side, hugging her monitor gratefully. Her image flickered into view, looking down at me with a gentle smile.
"Mom...Synergy, whoever you are, thank you for saving me. Thank you for loving me. I love you, too." I whispered.
You're very welcome, sweetheart, I heard Mom say in my mind. We're so proud of you.
Rio continued to stare. "Jerrica, is that..."
I gave a short laugh, thinking he must have felt like he'd stepped into a science fiction movie. "Yes, Rio. This is my little secret. Synergy," I said to the transparent woman, "this is the man you've heard so much about, Rio Pacheco."
The image nodded respectfully at the startled man. "Hello, Rio."
Rio's jaw dropped, and he stumbled to find words, any words at all. "Pleased to meet you, I think." He finally stammered, running a flustered hand through his dark hair. His eyes met mine.
"Promise me," I said to him, "that you won't hold it against me."
Rio closed his eyes for a few heart stopping moments, trying to sort out all the newly digested information. "You know your secrets are safe with me, Jerrica." He finally relented, filling me with relief. "But you have to tell me all about her...I can't wait to see what makes her tick."
The two of us sat down on the floor, and I explained how Synergy came to be, and told him as much as I knew about how she operated. Rio listened intently, locking eyes with me as I spilled out the last of my long buried secrets.
A long, strained silence fell between us after I finished, and I finally asked him what he was thinking. Rio sighed, looking down at the floor.
"I just wanted to apologize for leaving you behind at Howard's party. I feel totally responsible for what happened to you. It was the least I could do to come and find you, once I realized where you were. I hope you realize how sorry I am." He explained.
I pulled her knees to my chest and leaned on them. "Don't blame yourself, Rio. No one could have predicted what would happen."
"But I reacted in such a childish way, I know I did." Rio protested. "Maybe if I hadn't had that knee-jerk reaction, I could have stuck around to hear you out, and you wouldn't have been alone."
I laid a hand on his shoulder. "Rio, you and Anthony risked your lives to save mine. You came to my rescue, even when you were so angry with me for all my lies. That shows much more about you than anything said or done in the heat of the moment."
The expression on Rio's chiseled face clearly showed he was not convinced. He leaned against the wall, staring at the ceiling. "About that," he began, "the 'deception and liars' thing. I'm sure you've probably thought me to be pretty irrational in that respect."
My lips curled up slightly in a smirk as I nodded. "No argument there," I told him wryly.
"Well, you know how my homelife was when we were teens." Rio continued, and I nodded, remembering the shouting matches I sometimes overheard back then while in my bedroom. "I had never trusted my parents, for various but warranted reasons, and because of them never really trusted anyone...until I found you."
"And when I broke that trust.." I inferred, letting the silence finish the sentence for me. Rio nodded.
For a moment I debated on whether or not I should speak up. Then I decided I needed to tell him, to get it off my chest. "Rio, after Mom's accident, my father completely withdrew from us. He hired Mrs. Bailey to take care of things and hid in his study for weeks, wallowing in his grief, even after all of us begged him not to give any of us away." A heavy, trembling sigh escaped me, and Rio laid an arm around my shoulder. "Then before we knew it, he was feverishly working on his newest project."
"Which was Synergy." Rio said, picturing the events in his head. I nodded again and leaned on him.
"Later we found out through his diary that she was fashioned specifically after Mom," I proceeded to say. "My theory now is that I may have learned my coping skills from him, and that probably hindered me later in life. Maybe so much so that creating the persona of Jem was my last resort, the ultimate way to escape my own life by living a new one."
I didn't realize Rio was holding me so close to him as tears once again started to stream down my face. "I couldn't tell you because I was so utterly terrified of loss by the time Dad died. Rio, he let his brain tumor go until it was too late. He never even bothered to tell us he was dying, and I'll never forget the way Kimber was screaming that day she found him. I'll never forget that sound."
My voice caught in my throat in a strangled sob, and Rio whispered my name in sympathy, stroking my hair. "Both of our parents left us without giving us a chance to say goodbye. I couldn't bear the idea of losing you the same way. I just couldn't. I'm sorry, Rio."
Rio absorbed all of this thoughtfully as my tears finally began to subside. "You know what, Jerrica?"
"What?" I looked up at him.
"It's all in the past now. I think we can work together towards the future." I smiled at those long awaited words, knowing that even if we weren't meant to be a couple, he would always be a trusted friend. Rio looked at Synergy and then at me, then tentatively smiled back.
---Pizzazz
Despite the other Misfits insisting they would go with me, I went alone to see Eric. His lawyer, one of those gold chained guido types, told me he was in solitary confinement, awaiting the judge's ruling on whether he was fit to stand trial or not. I had called the facility ahead to arrange a special meeting, allowing me to visit him in his cell rather than speak to him through that stupid phone system.
I dressed in my most conservative garb that morning, opting to go without most of my usual makeup. I wanted Eric to know, if he could grasp anything at all anymore, that I meant business. Trying to ignore my stomach flipping over as the limo pulled up to the front door, I cautiously stepped out of the vehicle.
"Wait here until I'm done," I ordered our driver, who rolled his eyes, but complied.
The only sound as I followed the guard down the whitewashed hall towards solitary was the exaggerated sound of my black heels clacking on the linoleum. She led me to the very last cell, an intimidating slot of space protected by a thick steel door, adorned with only a little slot for cafeteria trays.
"Let me know when you're done," the guard told me after unlocking the door with a bone rattling slam. Drawing myself into a proud stance, I nodded at her curtly and stepped inside.
Warily, I approached the hunched figure in the corner. "Eric? They treatin' you okay in here?" I ventured, trying to sound conversational. The figure rolled over to stare at me.
His eyes, strangely blank, glinted with recognition. I shuddered as a half smile turned up one side of his haggard face. "Phyyyliiisss.."
The sound of my name seemed to ooze out of him, making my heart pound. "Yeah, it's me, Raymond."
He grinned. "I made Jem pay. I made her pay so you would love meeee." His voice had an odd drawl to it now, a new symptom of whatever mental disease had laid it's claim to him.
"Did I make you happy? I did what you always wanted to...I made Jem pay!" He said excitedly, and I shook my head. The room suddenly felt very small and cramped as I gazed upon this pitiful shell of a man that had once been my inept manager, my even more inept lover, my partner in crime.
"That wasn't what I wanted, Eric. All I wanted was to be at the top. You, apparently, had other ideas." I stated, trying not to let my fear show. His smile faded.
"Phyllis, don't you see? I won. I beat her at her own game. I made Jerrica pay for what she did to you. For what she did to me! I made her suffer. It was wonderful." Those beady eyes went blank again as he laughed shrilly. Instinctively, I shrank back against the door.
I wonder if I had pushed him far enough in those early years...would it have been me in that chair instead of Jerrica?
A wave of nausea rolled and crashed inside my stomach. "Guard!" I called out, pounding on the door. "I'm ready now!"
Eric rolled over and stood up, teetering closer to me. Panicking, I beat on the door harder. "Guard!"
"I love you, Phyllis Gabor. I did it for you, all of it for you." He snarled, teeth glinting flourescent light.
"Get away from me," I hissed. "You never loved me, you crazy bastard. All you ever cared about was getting your revenge. And you're fuckin' sick, you know that? Tying Jerrica to a chair and cutting her up? Trying to kill her, for chrissakes? You're disgusting. Hey, I told you to get away!" I barked, pointing a stern finger at him. He faltered.
The guard hurried up to the cell door, fumbling with her keys. "Now would be a good time!" I snapped at her through the thick metal. Eric stared at me with pleading eyes. "No, wait, don't go, Phyllis. I love you!"
The door swung open as he shouted my name again. With a yelp, I managed to dart through the opening just as he leapt for me. It slammed shut, and I saw it knocking him back onto the floor through the food slot. Enraged, he threw his weight against the steel, emitting screams that curdled my blood. His eyes were wild as he continued to shriek for me.
"He's having another episode," the guard said matter of factly as she grabbed for her walkie-talkie, mumbling foreign codes into it. I flinched as another heavy thump rattled the wall. "Does he do this often?" I asked, unable to stop watching him thrashing in his binds.
"Mr. Raymond is not a well man, Ms. Gabor." The woman replied flatly as two hulking, uniformed men strode purposefully down the hall to Eric's cell. Quickly I stepped out of their way to avoid colliding with them. One of the orderlies readied a syringe while the other stood poised to enter the chaos. The one with the syringe nodded at his partner, then at the guard. She buzzed the door open and the two men burst inside.
All I could do was watch in horror as they tackled Eric to the floor and held him there. The first man emptied the syringe into his neck, and his resulting scream was unearthly. For the first time since I was five years old, I felt actual tears spring to my eyes. I clutched my handbag to me protectively, my feet seeming to be frozen to the floor.
"Phyllis! Phyyyyyyllliiiiiiisss!" Eric shrieked, pain flashing in his eyes. "For yoooouuu -"
His wail was abruptly cut short by the slam of the cell door. The guard was looking at me with concern. "He'll be fine once the sedative kicks in. Are you all right, Ms. Gabor? You're as white as a ghost."
Shaking myself out of it, I tore my eyes away from the spectacle to look at the gray clad woman. "I'm fine." I replied tersely. "Thanks."
Turning on my heel, I strutted down that corridor as fast as my wobbly legs could go. Never before was I so glad to see my limo waiting for me outside as I practically leapt inside, slamming the door behind me.
"Well? What are you waiting for, a tip?" I barked at him as he gaped at me. "Go! Now!"
The driver smirked at me, laughing sardonically as he leaned on the gas, tearing out of the parking lot. I fell silent during the ride back to the mansion, suddenly numb inside.
All the Misfits looked up from their various spots around the living room as I stalked my way inside. None of them said a word as I headed straight for the bar, pouring myself a generous portion of whiskey.
Stormer, naturally, was the first to speak. "Are you okay, Pizzazz?" I shot her a look cold enough to turn her to ice. "Fine, just fine. Can we not talk about this please?"
"C'mon, Pizzazz, we can all tell when you're upset." Roxy chided. "And you're upset." Clash nodded in agreement. I glared at all of them as I downed the whiskey.
"I told you, I'm fine. The sooner I get drunk, the better off I'll be." I replied flatly. The other Misfits looked at each other and surrounded me.
"'Zazz, We know you're - " Jetta began.
I slammed my glass down hard on the bar's surface. "I'm what? What am I, Jetta, huh? Tell me, if you guys think you know me oh so well." I hoped my scowl was as intimidating as I needed it to be. "Look, there's a lot of stuff you guys don't know. I don't wanna get into it. I'm just glad something's being done about him."
"I think you're more relieved that it wasn't you," Stormer said gently. Her words felt like knives. "None of us had any idea he was so far gone."
"God, just shut up about it. Please!" I snapped. "I said I don't want to talk about it." Roxy silently laid a sympathetic hand on my shoulder, and that was all it took to break me. "Ah, Christ." I moaned as they all embraced me.
"It was horrible," I confessed, choking up again as I spoke. "Just horrible. You guys should've seen him...it was like somethin' right out of the movies. He was...he threw himself against the door..and the guards all had to sedate him..."
Stormer stroked my chartreuse tresses, trying to comfort me. "It's okay, Pizzazz."
I snorted indignantly, straightening up and wiping a lone tear away. "Yeah, and he's real fit to stand trial, too. Please. He said he did it all for me. Come on, how fuckin' sick is that?"
"Pretty fuckin' sick." Jetta chimed in. "But the worst is over now, luv."
"Hey, and don't you go blaming yourself for what he did. You're not responsible for that snake's actions." Roxy scolded, and I turned away.
"You don't know that, Rox." I murmured, sinking onto the floor and curling my knees to my chest. "We all treated him like dirt...well, he really kinda deserved it, but still! Did we turn him into this?"
Stormer shook her head vehemently. "Pizzazz, you just said it yourself. He deserved it. Why did he deserve it? Because he was overly controlling, manipulative, cruel. He was unstable, and nothing we did created that. He had a choice." She sidled up to me and hugged me close. "Eric chose this for himself, probably without even knowing it. That's not your fault."
"And, y'know, Jerrica's okay now." Clash tentatively added. "You were the one who told the cops how nuts he is, and that helped them save her and lock him away. Riot, too, and I never would'a guessed that guy had any redeeming qualities."
All five of us broke into giggles. "Well, whaddaya know." I mused. "Constance is right. I never thought I'd see the day."
Instead of launching into one of her tirades, Clash grinned and threw a pillow at me from the couch. "I know that's a compliment, Phyllis." I threw the pillow back at her.
"You're a bitch." I said, grinning. "That's why you like me," She countered, and we laughed. The pressure slowly lifted off my chest as we kept trading insults, each one filthier than the last.
This is gonna be okay, I resolve to myself as I look at all of them. This is what I like best.
to be concluded...