A/N: AHH! My apologies! The greatest apologies in the capability of mankind! This chapter was a (fill in any insulting word you would like here) It dragged on. I didn't want to write it, but it was one of those I couldn't get away with. I still hate it, but I didn't care after a while. I just wanted it to go away. Hopefully you like it! Sorry for the wait!

Berrytenshi: I've always been a big canon freak (if you want proof, you can ask any of my good friends that write on here, such as Roisin Dubh) and I'm working out a way to get the Eowyn/Faramir thing in here. I am sacrificing myself for Tolkien… How I hate Eowyn for that. I don't alter Tolkien; I just play in his loopholes. Hopefully it'll come across okay. Thanks for reading!

Larka Vanimedle: You must not die! This one's not too much of a cliffie, so I think you'll be okay.

Jade Fairy: Please don't hurt me!

Roisin Dubh: I hope this turns out better to you than it is to me. Thanks for all your Eowyn help; it got me going in a very dark, nasty time. I really hope its satisfactory; I'm a bit icky with it.

Kenny: FINALLY!

Elanor-G: I've been trying to continue, but its not been coming! Eowyn's about 14-15; early teenage years basically, and I can verify that in Tolkien if any purists come along dissenting!

Miriel! So glad you're reviewing, mellon nin! I've missed thee intensely! Beyond words! WHERE'S MY MAGLOR POEM! JK! I'm glad you're liking it.

Tamika DanarDraco: Welcome! I love Eva Cassidy, and the song is great. I'm looking for a place to fit it in, and I have another song waiting in the wings. I hope you keep reading and liking!

UCV3z:hands tissue:pats on the back:

Tolkien Craz: I hope Professor Tolkien would give me as high praise as you do! Welcome! I'm really glad you like it. :sigh: If only I could write as well as the Grand Master.

Vane Alasse: YAY! You're back! I'm torturing you, aren't I?

Kitty: Don't die on me.

Tommy14: Keep reading!

Now, FINALLY for the story! Writer's block is a NASTY thing, and it all came because of EOWYN! I tell you, she is evil. First she steals my man from me, and now she gives me block so I can't write about him.

Chapter 47: Beautiful Forgiveness

She awoke to a dream. He was there. He was standing before her. Could she reach out to touch him? Was it just another illusion sent to torture her? To deceive her into holding on longer? She didn't care. She would risk the disappointment of a delusion. "Theodred?" she called out weakly, yet hopefully.

She felt the phantom take her hand, and kiss it. Maybe it wasn't an illusion. "I'm here, love."

"Is it really you?" doubt still lingered in her mind. She reached out a feeble hand to touch his face. Cold fingers met warm skin, and she smiled.

"You've come back?" she questioned. She couldn't believe how good he was. After the way she had treated him, he held no grudge, hurrying back at her call. Even Faramir would never have done that for her. He would have held a grudge; he would have made her beg. Yet she loved him more; her love was beyond reason.

"Of course I have. I could never leave you," his voice was gentle, "I love you."

Tears came to her once more. "Don't say that, Theodred." She looked away for a moment. The eyes that returned to meet his were full of regret, "I'm sorry Theodred. I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

He was puzzled, "Forgive you what? What have I to forgive you for?"

"Everything," she said, "Please forgive me. Please don't hate me; let me hate myself. I'm sorry for pushing you away. I'm sorry for the child. I'm sorry for not living for you. I'm sorry for not being a faithful wife."

Theodred was stunned. He stared at her; those childlike eyes boring into her, searching, pleading with her to elaborate; to take back those words.

She clung to him, her tear-stricken face buried in his chest, whispering, "Please don't hate me, Theodred; please don't. Let me hate myself. Let me punish myself. Please love."

He wanted her to explain, but he could never resist her pleading, her tears, and she was so desperate, so vulnerable and yielding. "Hold me Theodred, hold me. Hold me like you always did. Tell me you love me."

"I do," he wasn't lying, "I do love you. You know that." He was confused, but that didn't diminish his love.

She did not seem satisfied. She held his face in her hands, bringing it close to hers, "Kiss me."

He could not understand her. He did not understand what she wanted, but he submitted to this demand for affection willingly.

Finally, she whispered, "Does Eowyn hate me?"

Other than what the rider had told him, he did not really know what had occurred between the two. "What happened?"

She hid her face in shame, "I was a cruel monster. I let it overpower me. I told her I wanted to die. I told her I didn't want her to be happy. I told her to get out and I didn't want to see her face. I was so spiteful. I don't know why I said it. Please let her forgive me. I didn't mean it."

"She doesn't hate you. She might be hurt, and a little angry, but she could never hate you, just as I could never. We both love you too much."

"I haven't seen her since that day. I wonder how she is. I wonder if she's ridden the new mare yet."

"You can ask her," Theodred moved to get up, prying her off of him gently.

"No," she cried out desperately, "Don't leave me Theodred. Stay with me. Don't let me go," she clung to him, as if there was another force pulling her away.

Theodred kissed her forehead, "I'm not leaving you. I'll just go find Eowyn. I'll be back in a moment."

"Please no," she begged. She was almost hysterical. He had no other choice. He called a woman to him, "Go find Lady Eowyn. Tell her that I wish to see her after all these weeks. Ask her to please come here immediately." He continued cradling Elentari, treating her as delicately as a newborn child. He still did not understand this mood of hers, and those words. An unfaithful wife? Her? How? Why did she demand his affection so voraciously? Why was she on the edge of hysteria, especially at the suggestion of his leaving?

Soon, the woman appeared, and whispered in his ear, "Lady Eowyn stands outside. She refuses to enter."

He sighed. This was why he had wanted to find her himself. He knew she wouldn't come willingly. Eowyn was proud, and did not like to be insulted or hurt, and he needed to coax her into it. Yet at the same time, his wife would not allow him to leave her. What was he to do?

"Elentari," he gently coaxed, "I have to go speak with Eowyn, to bring her to you. I'll be right back. I'll be right outside the door, not far. Please."

She was unwilling, but after some persuasion, she reluctantly let him go, under the promise that he would return within three minutes.

Eowyn stood grumpily outside the door, arms folded, a scowl resembling Eomer's upon her face, as Theodred came out. Even the sight of her cousin could not lighten her face.

"No smile for me, cousin?"

She shook her head, "No smile for her either."

"Ah Eowyn, come now. She didn't mean it. She was feeling horrible and spiteful that day, and she wanted to take it out on someone. She's sorry. You should see her. She's crying over you. She's begging you to forgive her." And me. She wants all of us to forgive her. But what does she want me to forgive her for? What did she mean?

"She wasn't feeling horrible and spiteful with Eomer," Eowyn retorted, "They went out riding. I can't believe Eomer consented. He was right about her all along. She hates this place. She hates all of us. She doesn't want to live with us. She doesn't even want to see us. That's why she pushed you away. Now she screams for you. You shouldn't have come Theodred. You should have let her suffer."

Theodred wanted to strike her for these words, but restrained himself, reminding himself that Elentari wanted to see her, and that was his main goal. Hitting Eowyn wouldn't help. But it startled him to hear that Elentari and Eomer had indeed gone riding. He would need to inquire about this later. "Eowyn, do not speak harsh words in haste and anger. Please come in and see her. What harm would it do? She's so pitiable. Are you just afraid that you'll lose your anger if you see her? Do you want to hold onto it so badly that you'll be a cruel, malicious person? She's hurt you, I can see that, but don't hurt her in return. Remember the stories that you were taught as a little girl? To be kind to people even if they are unkind to you."

Eowyn scowled, glaring at her cousin, arms still folded. Theodred knew he had planted the right seeds. All he needed to do was wait and Eowyn would give in. Remembering his promise of three minutes, he went back in to his wife, knowing that Eowyn would appear sooner or later.

Sure enough, a while later, Theodred heard the door creaking open behind him as he cuddled Elentari. The door shut behind a mass of golden hair, and Eowyn stood reluctantly but proudly in front of them.

Elentari gathered strength enough to rise in her bed, and faced Eowyn, whose pale, grave countenance revealed no emotion. Elentari was reminded distinctly of Faramir when faced by an inquiry from Denethor, but forced the mere thought of him out of her mind.

"Hello Eowyn," she whispered lightly.

The girl merely nodded. Elentari continued, "Theodred, would you leave us?"

Theodred was taken aback at this proposal and the swift change in his wife. Only moments ago she had been hysterically begging him to hold her, but now, she was asking his departure, as calm and composed as a queen in front of her subjects. He looked to Eowyn, who nodded slightly, evidently trying not to let Elentari notice it. Seeing that they both agreed, he bowed and shut the door behind him.

Elentari wrung her hands about her. She had hoped that when Eowyn finally came, the words would come to her, but now, with Eowyn standing before her, she knew naught what to say.

"Eowyn," she began, and faltered again.

The girl stared at her intently, her eyes seeing through the weak figure before her. And slowly, a sardonic smile spread across her lips.

"I never thought I would see the day when the great lady of lore would falter in words before me," she smiled, a triumphant, yet rather unnatural smile.

Elentari joined her in a smile, evidently relieved to see Eowyn speaking to her.

"Eowyn, how I spoke to you before, I shouldn't have. I can't take it back; that I know, and I have hurt you, something I regret terribly, but I can't take those words back. All I can ask is for you to forgive me. Please Eowyn. Without your forgiveness, I could never close my eyes without seeing the pain upon your face. I spoke from frustration and anger."

Eowyn did not answer her plea, but merely asked, with a mysterious light in her eyes, "Why do you say you wish to die?"

Elentari sighed heavily. "I only hope that you will never understand my pain. One day, you may reach a point where nothing seems to be worth it anymore, Iluvatar forbid it. Eowyn," Elentari thought about a scenario that would touch the young girl and appeal to her, "Suppose in the future, Eomer, Theodred, and Theoden are all gone, and Rohan is in mortal peril. Yet you are not allowed to defend her. You are to sit, behind bars till all thought of valor has gone beyond recall or desire. What would you do then, Eowyn? Would you want to die?"

Elentari could see the thoughts racing through the young girl's mind. Finally, she spoke, "I would go to battle, and I would attain valor and glory, but I would not return from the battle."

Elentari smiled bitterly, "May Iluvatar forbid that from ever happening. Do you understand a bit more now, Eowyn?"

The girl nodded slightly, but then shook again. "I understand what I would do, but I do not understand why you believe so. You have happiness before you."

Again, Elentari smiled ruefully, "You may believe so." She sought a way to explain to the girl without delving into her past, into her past with Faramir. She thought and thought, but there was no way around it. She would never speak against Theodred, and she found no way of explaining to Eowyn in a way she would understand. Finally, an idea struck her, "Let me sing you a tune, Eowyn. I think you will like it, and if you do, I will teach it to you."

I close my eyes only for a moment

And the moment is gone

All my dreams pass before my eyes

Dust in the wind

All they are is dust in the wind

Same old song

Just a drop of water in the endless sea

All we do crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see

Dust in the wind

All we are is dust in the wind

Don't hang on, nothing last forever but earth and sky

It slips away, and all your coins won't another minute buy

Dust in the wind

All we are is dust in the wind

Dust in the wind

Everything is dust in the wind

"Tis a beautiful song," Eowyn commented at the end.

"Yes. Faramir and I wrote it long ago, I the words, he the melody after we read the sad tale of Miriel Serindë."

"Miriel," Eowyn echoed the name, trying to recall the tale, "Was she not the mother of Fëanor?"

"Yes."

"The mother of Fëanor, who," Eowyn strained to remember, "Who left her life after he was born, for she could no longer go on with the labor of living."

It was Elentari's turn for the ironic smile, "She desired release from the constraints of flesh, but her spirit walks on, boundless and free." She paused for a moment, a dreamy look upon her face. "Ever since I was a child, I would walk by the shores of the Sea, not understanding what it was I wanted. I loved Minas Tirith, but when I was there, I never felt truly happy. My brothers would leave me in hysterical laughing fits with their witty comments and hilarious actions, but the laughter would subside to an aching pain. I never knew what it was, till I came to the Sea, and I understood." Elentari knew she was saying more than she needed to, but she could not stop herself. She had to tell Eowyn, she had to make the girl understand; she did not know why.

"Lady Uinen, with her long flowing hair, called to me. I can't explain it, but when I was there, I no longer felt; I no longer wanted. I was whole. I hope one day you shall feel that way, Eowyn. That is true happiness."

Eowyn gazed at her with a critical, but not condescending eye. "And Edoras, Theodred, none of that can make you feel that?"

Elentari sighed, "I love you. I love every one of you. I love you, Theodred, Theoden, Eomer, Elfhelm, Faramir, Boromir, Denethor, Imrahil, all of my friends. You have made me happy, but I can't explain what this other feeling is. I don't think I ever belonged. I think I was born for the Sea, and I have only lingered because of those I love. I have never told anyone this, Eowyn, not even Faramir. I don't think I have ever even spoken of this to myself. But let's not speak of this. I've forgotten what I was intending to talk about. I'm sorry Eowyn. You have been the truest friend to me. I can't believe I spoke to you in such a way."

The younger girl smiled, "You have taught me so much, and yet you are kinder than all of my tutors. I think I can forgive you for one minor offence."

Elentari grinned, "And I don't think any of those tutors of yours ever interwove discussions of the aesthetic features of the characters you're studying."

"Aesthestic features? Must you speak so I cannot understand? But I must say, Celegorm was the best looking Fëanorian."

With that, the women broke into a storm of argument over the matter; Elentari for Maglor; Eowyn for Celegorm.

A/N: Whoa… re-reading this, I can see the major mood swings I went through while writing this. I hated this chapter. It dragged on and wouldn't leave me alone. I just wanted to get it over with; hopefully it's satisfactory. Sorry again for the wait! I'm on spring break, so hopefully I'll be more prolific!