Disclaimer: J.K. Rowlings has all copyrights and fame for Harry Potter and all related ideas, as does After the Order for all lyrics to Fovever Love. I do not claim rights or genious related to the formentioned concepts, only to the ones that originated in my own head, the story/words surrounding the characters.
Author's Note: I wrote this before reading Half-Blood Prince to help me come to terms with my own feelings for the Harry in my life. He said it was good and I hope you think so as well. Just remember that life and love often don't work out like we want them too. I was thrilled with Harry and Ginny got together in HBP but that is not how it works out in my non-magical world. But hope is always something to hold on to.
Forever Love
Ginny lay motionless on her back, staring at the white ceiling. Her thoughts took her to her bedroom at the Burrow, the only place where she could ever be alone. One of the only advantages to being a girl with six brothers was that she never had to share a room. She spent many hours alone in her tiny, third floor room thinking and daydreaming but she was always happy to get away from the confined space and spend time with her family. But now that she was spending all her summers at #12 Grimmauld Place and sharing a room with Hermione, her small cubby at the Burrow seemed like a haven.
Right now she was lying on her bed, listening to the words of "Forever Love" a Muggle love song by some American band called After the Order.
"Boy meets girl one fine day. Look in his eyes and she's swept away in a moments glance, but for now they will just stay friends."
The CD played on a Muggle stereo confiscated by her father. He knew he shouldn't really have kept the CD player and CD but he had noticed that his only daughter had been acting depressed again lately and this gift was his way of trying to make her feel better. Mr. Weasley always thought that Muggle contraband was the key to lifting a person's spirits and he wanted desperately to prevent another "incident" with Ginny like the one that had occurred during her first year at Hogwarts.
"And days and weeks, even months go by. He says her name just to see her smile and she knows then their love will never end. And its forever, its forever, forever love."
Thoughts of that very episode filled her mind as she lay in her bed that day. Ginny didn't really talk about what had gone on while she was mesmerized by Tom Riddle. To even her closest family members she seemed to have mostly recovered from it. But Ginny thought about it everyday. She was haunted by the fact that she had let her emotions overcome her senses and allowed Lord Voldemort to use her as his pawn. She knew that by possessing her, the Dark Lord had gotten into her head and controlled her mind and body. She was terrified that Voldemort was still connected to her somehow and she lived with the nagging fear that she was a risk to everyone around her.
Ginny didn't recall much of her unconscious ordeal in the Chamber of Secrets. Mostly, she remembered Harry hovering over her with a look of concern on his face. She recalled how, at that moment, her feelings of loneliness and anxiety slithered away. The instant Ginny saw Harry she knew she was safe. He had risked his life to save hers.
"In the times that they go through love is constant, love is true. This love holds them as one, from the day when it all begun.
The words to that song slowly broke through her thoughts of Tom Riddle and his diary. She listened to it every time she was alone in the room without Hermione. As soon as she saw Hermione walking into the room Ron and Harry shared, carrying a copy of "Hogwarts, A History" and "The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6," Ginny knew that she was about to have a period of alone time at the expense of Ron and Harry.
Hermione and Ginny had become good friends but Ginny still cringed whenever she saw Hermione and a book headed towards her. Hermione had already started pestering Ginny about her homework for the upcoming school year.
Seriously, its still summer for one more day. I mean, come on, we only got our school supplies two days ago. Of course I haven't read all my textbooks yet.
It kind of bothered Ginny that Hermione was always on her about her schoolwork. It wasn't like Ginny was a hopeless student. She worked hard and got good marks but she always felt inadequate compared to Hermione.
Poor Ron and Harry got it even worse from Hermione though. Especially Harry. Hermione seemed to think he needed extra nagging because his mind was always filled with thoughts of Lord Voldemort and he was easily distracted by all the tragic things that had happened in his life. Ginny had experienced enough of Lord Voldemort herself to understand that feeling.
Harry.
Ginny sighed heavily, her body slightly lifting off the bed. A tear slid slowly down her cheek, running down right under her ear and onto the sheet.
"They laugh and they cry this crazy love gets them by. Forever, its forever, its forever, forever love."
The rest of the words escaped Ginny's conscious as the face that she thought of everyday, the face she saw in her dreams at night, commanded her attention.
Harry James Potter.
What had been a single tear turned into a constant flow, a salt river washing down her face, weathering away her heart. Ginny laughed bitterly, making no effort to wipe away her tears. She saw her life in that song. She was only missing one key part.
"Forever Love," she scoffed. "Those words could almost be written about Harry and me. Except he can't seem to get the love part."
Ginny let her thoughts take over again.
But that's not entirely true I guess. Harry loves Hermione. I can tell. He is always asking me questions about her. And the way his eyes follow her around the room. She doesn't even notice, but I do.
Ginny noticed everything Harry did. Ever since she laid eyes on him on platform 9 and 3/4 Ginny has been captivated by him. Finally overcoming her shyness around Harry, Ginny has become one of his inner circle in Dumbledore's Army. She has become more confident around him and she has shown herself to be very protective of him.
When Harry began facing his own mind invasion attacks from Voldemort Ginny felt a closeness with Harry because they were the only two who had experienced Lord Voldemort so intimately. She was the only one able to even remotely comfort him about the Dark Lord's assaults on his thoughts and dreams.
But Harry seemed to have a hard time getting past his image of little, infatuated Ginny running after the Hogwarts Express. He couldn't see that her childlike fascination had turned to genuine admiration, concern, and love.
Suddenly exhausted, Ginny slipped out of bed and turned out the lights. She knew Hermione would be coming back in soon and Ginny didn't want any questions about why she had been crying. This wouldn't be the first night nor the last night that Ginny Weasley cried herself to sleep over Harry Potter. She was well asleep by the time Hermione eased herself into the room and settled down for the night in the other bed.
"Ginny, time for breakfast," the sound of Harry's voice calling through the door woke Ginny.
She opened her eyes and blinked as they adjusted to the bright late-summer sunlight. Ginny turned towards the door as she heard the knob turning.
"Ginny are you awake yet?"
"Um…yes, I think so," Ginny mumbled as Harry stepped into the room.
She sat up quickly throwing her legs out of the bed. Her left leg swung into the night table, knocking over the framed wizard photograph of her family on their vacation in Egypt. Ginny always seemed to manage to knock over things whenever Harry was around.
Ginny blushed as Harry bent down to pick up the photo. He looked at it and smiled, seeing the whole Weasley clan moving about in the wooden frame, before handing it to Ginny.
"You know Gin," Harry said, "I've come to think of everyone in that picture as my own family. Well, except Scabbers," Harry laughed bitterly.
"I know you do Harry," Ginny replied. "We think of you that way too. Why don't you go on down to breakfast and make sure Fred and George don't eat all the food. I'll be down in a minute."
"Alright Gin, see you down there."
Ginny was happy to be back at Hogwarts. She needed the distraction from thinking about Harry all the time. She knew she would have a lot of studying to do for her OWLs along with Quidditch practice. Ginny loved the atmosphere at Hogwarts Castle. There was magic and laughter all around her. There always seemed to be a little bit of mystery too, but Ginny had pretty much had her fill of that after first year. Not that life didn't need a trace of mystery every once in awhile. Ginny just wanted to tone it down a bit. Unfortunately that wasn't likely with Lord Voldemort's return, the semi-clandestine operations of the Order, and of course the antics of Harry James Potter. Nevertheless, Ginny felt more at ease at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry than she did anywhere else in the world.
Hogwarts also came with the added distraction of boys. Ginny had been half joking when she told Ron that she was interested in Dean Thomas, but who knew. Dean was a perfectly good candidate for Ginny's next boyfriend. Ginny found that dating other guys was a way to keep her mind off of her feelings for Harry. It seemed as if she was on a desperate search for anyone who could replace him in her heart.
Michael Corner had been Ginny's first boyfriend. The two had met at the Yule Ball and started a relationship that lasted well over a year. Ginny has been disappointed to be stuck going to the ball with Neville instead of with Harry, but she was glad when Michael took an interest in her. She was sick of being jealous over all the attention Harry had been giving to Cho so she welcomed the diversion Michael gave her.
Ginny liked Michael well-enough. She wasn't using him just to keep her mind of Harry, she honestly did care about him. Regrettably, Michael did a few things that grated on Ginny's nerves. She hated the way he wouldn't duel her when they were training in Defense of the Dark Arts with the rest of Dumbledore's Army. She didn't know what he was afraid of. Ginny had survived possession by the Dark Lord after all, so she was pretty confident that she could handle anything Michael threw at her.
Ginny couldn't count the times she had wanted to cast one of her infamous bat-bogey hexes on him. Then again, she did enjoy some features of their relationship, especially the fact that she finally felt that she was over her "silly little crush" on the famous Harry Potter.
Unfortunately, that feeling didn't last long. Ginny thought she was happy with Michael, but the minute she heard that Harry and Cho's awkward relationship had dissolved all the old feelings came flooding back. Ginny felt guilty that her first thought had been that Harry might want her now, instead of how Harry must be hurting. She also felt guilty for leading Michael on when it was again obvious to her that she still wanted Harry.
Ginny was actually relieved when Michael started pouting after Gryffindor beat Ravenclaw at Quidditch. Ginny saw this as the perfect opportunity to escape Michael. She didn't see anything wrong with a girl being better than a boy sometimes and she loathed boys who felt it threatened their masculinity to lose to a girl. Ginny barely took notice when Michael and Cho got together, she hoped they would be happy.
Renewed by her old feelings for Harry, Ginny found a confidence around him that she had never had before. She talked to him and was even bold enough to reprimand him on several occasions. However, she had not been able to spark his interest in her as more than a little sister. Ginny couldn't think of anything she could do differently to make Harry like her. Finally, she realized that Harry had begun to fall for Hermione.
Ginny was devastated. Resolutely she began to look for another boyfriend prospect to distract her from the rejection she felt whenever Harry was around, whenever she saw him gazing at Hermione.
It had gotten to the point where Ginny would almost date Draco Malfoy if she thought it would make her forget about Harry. He was actually kind of cute, but unfortunately the biggest jerk at Hogwarts. Maybe Dean Thomas would be her best choice.
Ginny sat at a table in the library, books stacked up next to her on the table. She was working diligently on a seven parchment report for Professor Binns that was due at the end of the week. It took her a few moments to become conscious of the fact that Harry had sat down across from her at the table and was starting to slide the pile of books that was creating a barrier between them to the side. Ginny sensed the motion in the corner of her eye and jumped in her chair, startled to see Harry there. Her right elbow knocked over her inkwell, sloshing black fluid out over several spare sheaves of parchment. Ginny sighed as she righted the inkwell and watched as the ink saturated the pieces.
"Scourgify"
The parchment was suddenly clean and all traces of Ginny's ink calamity disappeared. She looked up at Harry gratefully, noticing that he was struggling to suppress his laughter.
"What?" she asked.
"Nothing Gin," he replied, letting out a small chuckle and shaking his head. "Its just, you are such a klutz."
"Only around you," Ginny mumbled.
"What did you say?" Harry asked giving Ginny a puzzled look.
"Never mind. Did you want something? I have a lot of work to do on this paper."
"Oh, well I was just wondering if you had seen Hermione. I can usually find her in here but I haven't seen her. I, uh, need some help with my homework," Harry hastily explained, blushing softly.
Hermione, of course, what did I expect?
"Sorry Harry, I haven't seen her. Did you check the common room?"
"No, that was my next stop. I just thought I would come over and see what you were up too."
"Yeah, I'm not very good company right now. I have a lot of work left to do on this paper."
"What's it for?"
"History of Magic."
"Oh yuck," Harry made a fake gagging sound. "Binns is the most boring professor at Hogwarts."
"I know. I really enjoy History of Magic but I can hardly stay awake in his class. That's why I read some extra books on my own to find something interesting."
"Really?" Harry glanced around at all the books on the table. "I didn't know you were so into history."
"There are quite a few things you don't know about me Harry."
"I'm sure there are Gin. Well, I suppose I had better go and try and find Hermione."
"I hope you do Harry."
Ginny started leafing through a think volume to her left but Harry didn't leave his seat. He seemed to be staring at something over her shoulder. Ginny turned around but all she saw were the stacks. She looked at him curiously.
"I thought you were going?"
"Oh, yeah I was," Harry said shaking himself out of his trance but still not rising from his seat.
"Is there something else you need?"
"I...I was just wondering if maybe Hermione has ever said anything to you about me," Harry blushed a deeper red. I know you too have gotten to be close lately. Just curious, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
"We've never really talked about you Harry, sorry."
His face fell.
"She has never mentioned how she feels about me at all?"
"Listen Harry, if you want to know just find her and ask her," Ginny said agitatedly. "I don't know and I don't want to talk about it. I have work to do."
"I know. I'm sorry Ginny. I was just hoping you could tell me something. I think I love her Gin," he added nervously, almost as an afterthought.
"Yes, I know you do Harry," Ginny's voice cracked slightly. She could feel the tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. "Go and find her then."
"I know I should, but I just have trouble talking to her. I don't know how to tell her. She never seems that interested in me. I was hoping you might be able to find out how she feels about me Gin."
"No Harry. I don't want to be involved in this. Now please I have to get back to work."
Ginny could feel the tears begin to slide down her face. She quickly bent her head over her parchment and starting writing furiously to hide her crying. Harry looked at her and was starting to get up when he saw a tear splash down on her writing, smudging the black ink in a way reminiscent to her earlier ink spill.
"Ginny? What's wrong?" Harry asked with concern in his voice.
"Nothing," Ginny shot at him, a little too loudly for in the library.
"Did I do something?"
"I'm fine Harry. Just go, okay," she pleaded, her voice rising with her emotion.
Harry glanced up to see Madam Pince barreling towards their table. He grabbed Ginny by the arm and drug her quickly out of the library and through the halls until they reached the corridor where Barnabas the Barmy's portrait hung.
"Let me go Harry," Ginny yelled, trying to pull her arm away while wiping her tears away with her free hand.
Harry ignored her, walked past the painting three times concentrating, and then pulled her into the Room of Requirement.
"What are you doing? I have a report to write."
"You can go back to your silly report as soon as you tell me what the matter is," Harry said firmly pushing Ginny onto the couch. He sat down opposite her in an armchair.
"It's nothing Harry. Just let me go."
"It's not nothing Gin," Harry said moving over to the couch and wrapping his arm around her shoulders. He could feel her body shaking with the tears. "Is it something about Hermione?" he asked. "She hates me doesn't she?" he said, his eyes falling.
"I don't have any clue Harry. I don't want to talk about you and Hermione. So if that's all you can think about let me go." She shook Harry's arm off her.
"Then what is it Ginny? Why don't you want to talk about Hermione and me?"
"Because I love you Harry," Ginny sobbed, jumping off the couch and running to the corner of the room. She sat there on the floor with her head buried in her arms, her body shaking uncontrollably.
"Oh come on Gin, seriously what's the matter?"
Harry followed her over to the corner almost starting to laugh at the joke, but then Ginny looked up at him and he took one look at her tear streaked face and shut his mouth.
He finally spoke after a long pause, "But Ginny, you can't love me."
"Can't I? Just look at me Harry. I've loved you since the moment I saw you. But it's different now, we're older. Every year I love you more and I can't make it stop. I know you love Hermione but I can't change the way I feel about you. And it feels like you are stabbing me in the heart every time you say her name."
"Oh Ginny," Harry whispered sitting down next to her on the floor. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."
"I know you didn't. It's okay. I realize that you will never feel the same about me. I know you think of me as a little sister. Please, just don't talk about her around me so much. I want to be your friend for a long time Harry James Potter," Ginny said giving him a shaky smile, slowly starting to wipe the tears from her face.
"Me too Gin," Harry said pulling her to her feet and giving her a brotherly hug.
Ginny felt her heart swell in her chest. He didn't hate her.
"You better get back to work on your report, Gin. You don't want your mom to send you a howler for bad marks."
"Definitely not," Ginny agreed.
Ginny walked to the door and gave Harry a brave smile and a wave as she left the Room of Requirement and returned to the library.
Harry sat down again in the armchair, trying to sort out this new information. He never thought that Ginny could feel that way about him. He shook his head. No, he couldn't even think about that, his heart was too full of Hermione. He wondered how Ginny was going to act around him now that he knew how she felt. He hoped it wouldn't change their friendship. But he would always be there for her anytime she needed help.
Ginny sat back down amongst her books in the library. She couldn't concentrate on History of Magic though, as she lifted her quill all she could think about was Harry. She knew it had been a mistake to break down like that in front of him. She knew he would be nice to her and try to be a good friend to her but she didn't think that that would be quite enough. She was afraid that she couldn't be herself around him anymore. She wondered how long their friendship would actually last now that Harry knew how she felt.
Harry James Potter
Ginny sighed and started writing again, giving one last fleeting thought to Harry.
While others knew Harry Potter as "the boy who lived," Ginevra Weasley had come to think of him as "the boy who lived in her heart."
And always would.