THE BOOK OF RANDOM SCENES
TEEN TITANS
VOLUME I
By Darkmatt
While my computer was "handicapped" I decided to write an extra chapter after spiffing up the last chapter. Enjoy.
(Hekatie, you're gonna love this chapter!)
BONUS MINI CHAPTER! Before we get on to Robin Bashing, how bout' something TT related
VOLUME I
MINI-CHAPTER II
Sheyeah, there's a reason why...
11:30 P.M. It's late night TV time, since there was no shooting today, the titans can sit down and relax...for once. "Wonder what type of random insanity we'll find today on Robot Chicken?" Cyborg asked. "This, Robot, Chicken, of which of speak, is it like...some sort of...ummmm" Starfire tried to finish. "Nothing?" Raven asked. "Nope."
"Hey! It's starting!" Robin said. And the titans got comfy on the couch. And by comfy I mean putting their heads onto the TV. "This is gonna be great..." Cyborg eagerly said.
Tonight on Teen Titans!
"SAY WHAT!"
Darkmatt's very exclusive room. Simply put. Prepare to show appointment card or FACE CERTAIN DOOM! Darkmatt was of course, slaving over the TV. When suddenly...the titans bursts in "WE DEMAND A SUE TO SETH GREEN!" the titans flamed. "I wish I could, but I can't." Darkmatt groaned. "What do you mean you can't? You've done it before." Raven said. "No, I can't, on the count of..."
Darkmatt turned to face the titans, and they shriked. Apparently, Darkmatt has stabbed his eyes out. "I haven't seen any legimate proof this has ever happened. Like you're going too." The titans just stared at him. "COME ON! I RESPECT YOU! I go to your shrine EVERY WEEK to give a prayer so that the lazy bastards at CTN will release more episodes!" "Riiiight, we'll just leave and pretend this never happened." "Voices in my head. Laa laa laa." And the titans quickly run out the door, to the kitchen. To pick up some forks.
Out of all the shows Seth Green has to parodized, he choosed Teen Titans. Thanks for ruining my night Seth.
(Please DO NOT tell me what it's about, I chosed to try to avoid it for a reason.)
VOLUME I
CHAPTER VI
Little Men in White Coats!
(or What Would Happen if Robin Sold Out BB for his own Life)
Azarath Metrion Zinthos...
Titans Tower, Raven's Room, Raven is doing her usual meditating, it's another thing that keeps her sane, and keep Beast boy
from his grave. But did Beast Boy give a damn? Course not!
Knock knock knock! Raven, touches the ground again, and peeks through the door...there's Beast Boy. "Okay, come on now...
WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO REPEL YOU FROM MY ROOM?" Raven groaned.
There was a "MEDITATING" sign, a "DO NOT DISTURB" sign, an "UNAVAILABLE" sign, a "BEWARE OF RAVEN" sign, and finally, "Your lost item is not in my room so stop asking!" "Iii..just wanted to say...Iron Chef is on." Beast Boy said. "...Beast Boy, Iron Chef isn't on until 11:00 P.M" Raven said. "It's Robin watching Iron Chef, which he recorded...And I've seen the
video or over 1,000 TIMES..." She continued. "...He recorded a new..." "Seen it..." Beast Boy was running out of lifelines. "FOR THE 50TH TIME..." She hissed. Beast Boy was running out...god fast. "Ummm, have you seen my chair? I think it's in your-"
Living Room, cue explosion, cue Beast Boy screaming, cue Robin watching Iron Chef. Cue Starfire entering room. Cue end of "cue blah"'s. "Greetings Robin, are you watching the Iron Chef?" Starfire asked. "Yes." Robin quickly responded.
"Ooooh! Look at those onions sizzle!"
"You go Iron Chef!" Robin narrorated to himself. Starfire, puzzled why he's doing that, just floats off. And Raven enters the room. sipping some Urbal Tea? WRONG! It was a new drink that Raven seems to like. "Yes! Use the shrimp!" Robin continues to make a fool out of himself. "Hello. I'm the "Making sure you stay sane" fairy." Raven mocked. "Wanna watch?" "No thanks, I got better things to gaze at. Like an ancient cookbook. It's where I pick up this awesome formula for this rather special tea." "What's the ingredients?" "Hmm, some inter-galactical stuff you won't understand. Water, duh. And the secret ingredient, that makes it special." "Ooooh." "Is the blood of your bitter enemies." "Ummmm, Raven? Where'd you get the blood?" "There was aaaaaauhhhhh...healthy...donor...that gladly wanted to trade blood samples for a nice cup of this drink." Raven failed to fool Robin. "...You blown Beast Boy up again." "Yes. But hey, at least I'm not talking to a TV."
Robin glared at Raven. And then the doorbell rang. "I'l-" "I'll get it." Raven, then Robin said.
Robin went up to the door, opened it. And it was little men in white coats! Or, just Ed (Full Metal Alchemist) and Yugi (Yu-Gi-Oh) in there classic uniform, only white. "Men in White Coats service." Yugi said. "We keep the company below out of control!" Ed said. Robin stared, and closed the door. Then barred it. Beast Boy enterd the hall. "Dude, it took me hours to get all my blood back into my body." He groaned. But thanks to a little quick alchemy, the door was no more, and the barring equipment, became miniature figures of my favorite villians! "You really think a door's going to stop us?" Ed said. "Okay, who's the crazy one?" He continued. "Uhhhhhh..." Robin staggered. "What do I do? I can't go to the Insylum, (It's what I call "Where crazy mother(CENSORED!) goes.") but what can I do?" Robin thought. "Uhhhhh, IT'S BEAST BOY!" "WHAT!" BB hissed. "Well, he is technically insane." Ed said. "Yeah, he saids dude more times then Darkmatt says baka!" Yugi said, and chuckled, with Ed. "Heh heh good one." Ed said. "DUDE I DON'T SAY DUDE ALL THE-I mean-Wel-" BB failed to make a sentence. "Our point exactly."
Yugi said.
And soon enough, BB was in a metal cage, on a ship, departing the island. "NOOOOO! I DON'T WANNA GO TO THE FUNNY FARM!"
Was BB's last words for this chapter. All Robin did was sit there...and dropped to his knees. "Lord forbid what I just did." Robin said. "Wow Robin. I never thought I say this..." Raven said, watching the whole thing just outside the tower.
Cue unnessecary random people. "YOU'RE NOW ELIGABLE TO JOIN OUR "Beast Boy Torment" CLUB!" They said.
"NO!" Robin screamed. "What I did was WRONG! How could I just sell a free man just like that?" "Because he's an attention (CENSORED!), what does it look like?" Raven said. "Get inside before I close the backup door." Raven groaned.
And so, the next day the Titans payed a visit to the Insylum. To chat with the head of the Insylum. And would you belive it, it's not the author. It's actually Darkmatt's trusted crazy magician, that can run the Insylum when the REAL manager isn't there, Mumbo. "Sorry kids, author rules. Nobody is allowed out unless a jury of said peers and enemies deem him sane." Mumbo said. "Annnnnd...that's.." Raven said. "In 2 weeks." "TWO WEEKS? I remember DM saying that there was going to be an exclusive Beast Boy shoot in 1 week!" Robin screamed unnessecarily. "Don't you read the author rules, boy?"
RULE #(Insert large number, plus a letter here)
No show, no shoot. End of story. If it's required, I know how to digitaly add a digital you, bi-atch! No show, no show, fro yo!
"Basically put, the author will not let you." Mumbo said. "Though now theoriotically speaking, you would if the author wasn't in charge. Good thing he's here! Right?" That's when Robin started to get violent. And grabbed Mumbo by the collar. "LISTEN! My best friend-" He flamed. "No he's not, because why is he here in the 1st place?" Raven pointed out. "WHATEVER! I made a mistake!" "Like the thousands of mistakes you try to hide from people but miserably failed to. "NOBODY ASKED YOU! AND I NEED TO CORRECT IT!" "You didn't correct the part about Red X, basically because it was your fault entirely, and we had to help you out when you were Slade's Apprentice, which, in fact, which wouldn't have happened if you didn't rush off and leave-" "CAN YOU STOP MAKING IT WORSE!" "If you calm down I might. God, boy, you need therapy." Robin got a hand free and pointed at Raven. "Look! I know I did stupid things before! But you don't have to make it worse by putting me down because of those!" "And why exactly? You deserved it, Robin. You are mostly the reason why Slade has been whipping our as-"
"WHAT ABOUT THE LAST TIME SLADE ATTACKED?" "I was getting to that, until you interupted me, bastard."
In the background...Cyborg is enjoying some donuts. That explains why he hasn't done anything to stop it. And Starfire didn't come.
"SO WHY DO YOU DO IT!" "Oh great now you're repeating yourself." "I WOULD LIKE IT IF YO-" CRUNCH! While Robin and Raven was bickering, Mumbo got time to trigger a trap...I.E. a bullet proof window crushing down on Robin's hand.
YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
"Thanks Mumbo, though you might be sick, twisted, and your magic tricks are stale, you do some good deeds...sometimes."
Raven complimented. "You're welcome, kid...wait...what do you mean my magic tricks are stale?" Mumbo asked Raven. This is a story we'll get to some other day.
Okay! After Robin got his hand re-angled correctly...Robin still couldn't use his left hand. Titans Tower Living Room, "It doesn't take much to crack that guy." Raven said, while drinking some urbal tea. "Yano, it doesn't really take much to crack you either." Cyborg said. "YOU WANT SOME OF THE HEAT?" "No no! I never said I wanted to be BB's replacment!" "Doesn't matter, I need somebody to take my anger out on. Because every knows, me + long awaiting anger bad." "Yeah...but please stay away from me!" Cyborg, without hesitating, ran like a scared little puppy. Raven, just turned to lay on the couch.
It's actually pretty boring, here at Titans Tower. Unbelivably, no crime is happening today. Because they're all doing some jobs to help raise money to buy Trackmania Sunrise. (Which I already got! Suckers!) And I'm collecting 5 of there job payment, added up, that's over $80! Boy am I rich! I can buy all the manga available in the U.S in just a couple months if I did this to everybody in my company! Anyway, Raven is playing with a Rubik's Cube, dullingly passing the hours away trying to complete a lost cause, trapped ever in the 3 dimensional trap of th-...wait...she's got it. "Boring." Raven groaned, and tossed the cube with the other 20 she solved. "I can solve as many cubes in the world." She groaned, got to her labtop, And plays Bricks. (www.bricks-game.de) "But I CAN'T SOLVE MORE THEN HALF OF THE LEVELS HERE." She hissed.
Knock knock knock. Raven got up, and answered the door. It was Starfire. "Le Corbeau de salutations, je ne peux pas arrêter parlant cette langue inconnue et je ne sais pas ce que pour faire!" She said. Raven...couldn't make any words. "Uhhh, we english speak Star here?" "Non que n'est pas bon. Je sais parler l'anglais, mais je ne peux pas faire d'une manière ou d'une autre si!" "...Amnesia?" "Quel est l'amnésie?" "...juuust, keep away from me for the rest of the day...okay?" Raven, quietly closed the door."Aucun Corbeau! J'ai besoin de votre aide! J'ai besoin de chiffrer comment parler régulièrement encore le Corbeau! Corbeau! S'il vous plaît aider!"
No translation for you. Sorry. Titans Tower...wait, not Titans Tower, more like Gotham Park. Robin's sitting on a bench. Ever counting the days that shows darn well that he betrayed Beast Boy, again...for the 5th time...this month. But wait! Robin's not the only one enjoying fresh air, it's Brother Blood! "I'm popular, so I deserve this much time." Blood said to Slade. "But I just don't get it. I made more evil plans and mysteries then you can ever create and you're STILL more popular then me." Slade groaned. "Guess most people don't like the dark and sinister person, more like-" "Comic relief?" "HEY! I have you know I'm actually funny!" "I'm funny too, have you seen me in birthmark? I knew the author laughed at least once." A conversation between bad guys, walks right past Robin...until Robin realizes what he's doing and gets up. "SLADE!" Robin yelled. "Yo." Slade turned and said. "See? He called my name first." Slade said to Blood, who turned back and said "That's because he's a little creep that's has a very unhealthy obession with you. It doesn't count." "BLOOD!" Robin yelled again. "See?" Blood said to Slade "Everybody knows you." "And that's the point!" "Whatever you're doing, I'm going to stop you!" Robin said, and draws his staff. "We're not doing anything! God! Can't 2 villains walk through a damn park without getting annoyed?" Blood groaned. "...I was talking to Slade." "...Seriously boy you need a life."
And so, we leave that dynamic (not) storyline to return to Raven. Again, sitting on the couch in the living room, losing her sanity...bit...by bit...by bit..."Bored?" "No." Raven quickly said. Who's on the other line? Guess foo! "I know something fun to do." "Look, I can find my own ways, I don't need your help. If that's what you're going to call it." "Well, do you need fun in your life?" "Yes. But in a non-destructive way. Like I eat sugar free ice cream." "That stuff tastes horrible." "So what? You never tasted it." "Who's fault is that?" "Not me, I don't manage food." "THEN WHO THE HELL HAS BEEN GIVING ME MY MEALS!"
It's time for "WHAT'S IN RAVEN'S MIND!" What's in Raven's mind today? A...very secluded room in the middle of nowhere, as usual, except for the large square which has "FORBIDDEN, Open and face SEEEEE-VEEEERE CON-SEE-QUENCE-SES!" labeled on a tightly sealed door. "Dark Raven! I have dinner!" A Raven floats up to the platform. A magical mail slip appears, and Pink Raven slides it through. "I hope you like fat free clam chowder! I made it myself!"
"Does she have too?" "She needs to do something, and do you wanna stay alive or what?" Raven said. "Sigh, when I'm released, I'm destroying that Raven first." "Feel free, I'm much better off without her anyway."
And so, I stop teasing you. (I could give a more accurate entry if some lazy bastards would RELEASE THE OTHER HALF OF SEASON 4! URRGH!) And return to Robin. Who apparently is getting his assed kicked by Slade and Blood, whom are batting Robin back and forth with large Badmitten paddles. "I wonder why he ain't called Birdie? It would really fit this situation." Blood said. "It's a pun Blood, author wouldn't like it." Slade pointed out. Eventually, Slade misses. "Ha! I win!" "Okay fine, you're better then me." Slade groaned. "Well, I'm bored. Let's go." Slade continued. "Yeah, let's go to Tomato Brothers." Blood agreed. And they both continued onwards.
"Bones...broken...in every way...possible...very...difficult...to speak." Robin groaned.
But alas! Robin's savior arrived! It's, it's...RAVEN! "Walk, walk, walk." Raven said to herself. "Walk walk, walking is good, it'll keep me-HOLY CRAP!" Raven realizes the near obliterated Robin. "Oh lord, I knew I should." Raven groaned. "AAAAAGONYYYY." Robin groaned. "Ooooh fine." Raven sighed. "DIA!"
If nobody played Nocturne, Dia's a healing spell. Raven heals Robin...well...no, she just heals him enough to get back onto the sane side. "Urrrr, able to...breathe normal...bones...functioning...able to...stop speaking in...short dialouge. Thank you Raven." "Well, don't say it to everybody now. I don't want everybody going to me for their problems." "Wait, how'd you get healing abilities anyway?" "Well it's a long story."
See, there's this place called Azarath, and there was a terrible demon named Trigor, which is, belive it or not, m-
"NOT THAT STORY!" Robin said. "Oooh, sorry. Everybody wants me to tell that story. The healing abilites though, I can do."
I was at my local spellbook vendor, I was ready to move on to the next level in my list...but I didn't have the money to buy the book. But the merchant directed me to a rather cheap source which will help me make some money. I gladly accepted and bought the book. Only problem was, it was the OPPOSITE alignment of which I was on. That...and it was a total ripoff. Even though it was cheap, I could buy the next 4 Naruto volumes with the money I paid. But since it was such a low level book, I decided to say what the hey and mastered it, which I did.
"And that's how I got Dia." Raven said. "Wow Raven, number 1, where'd you get the book in the first place?" Robin asked. "1, shop policy saids to never reveal it's location to unworthy eyes. 2, you're...ummm...magically inept." "And does that change anything." "Come on Robin! Get real! You have no superpowers, the only natural abilities are your martial arts, and you never put any points into your magic skill. You could NEVER master it. And even then, you couldn't use the spells. Since of course, they require mana. Which you don't have." "Are you always like this?" "Only when I'm trying to keep the world from trembling at the awesome powers locked inside me, waiting to be burst into the open and strike fear into the hopeless and consume their terrified looks to add to my infinite power and my god the power it's the only thing that makes me feel SO good to be alive ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" ..."Aaaah, aaaaaah, haaaaa, ummmmmmm, ooookay." Raven finished, and went back to normal. Robin of course, making the right choice, ran like a scared puppy. "Ooh I hope he doesn't get a restraining order." Raven groaned. "I'm GOING TO GO IN AND SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING DAMMIT!" "YOU CAN'T DENY WHAT'S INSIDE!" Insert evil laughter in Raven's head. "You're not getting breakfest tomarrow, and I was going to make pancakes." "Awwwww..."
And so, the days pass, onwards and onwards, until finally, the author finally returns to the studio! Where was he by the way? "So...it's Tiger Monkey Tiger?" Darkmatt asked. "No it's Tiger Horse Tiger." Kakashi (Naruto) said. "Oh okay. See ya later." Darkmatt said, and walked into the studio, to find Robin laying on the couch. "The hells your problem?" Darkmatt asked. "I hope you don't mind. BB's in the Insylum. And he's able to come to do the shooting. I'm sorry, it's my fault." "Whaaaa? Like hell I'd do a BB shooting. Who do you think I am, you?" Darkmatt said. That's when, Robin realizes...it's made up...it was fake. "What have I been doing?" "Making an utter fool out of yourself for the whole damn chapter?" "Yep that pretty much sums it up." "But who said that?" "Hmmmm."
At the Insylum. "Oh yeah! Work it baby!" Well, BB's got his wish...his non-existant wish. He got his own shoot! His photo shoot! "Yeah work it." Terra said. "Show me the awesome that is you! Ow!" She continued to take photos of BB in his straight jacket.
THE END!
And so, another random unneccesary plot UNFOLDS! Will Raven be able to withold the evil within? Will Robin be able to pay for his sins? Will BB ever get out of jail? THIS ISN'T THE PLACE TO ASK! XD
REVIEW RESPOND TIME!
CHAPTER 4 REVIEWS
Hekaite
LOL! The only thing that bothered me is that you spelled spagetti incorrectly.
Also, in the comics, Brother Blood's cult (The Church of Blood) worshiped Raven's father, Trigon! And his son (also called Brother Blood) is creepily obsessive with her...and he's albino! Oops! I didn't follow the guidlines correctly! What shall happen to me?
Hekatie
Sorry, but I don't read comics, so not many comic related things are in my stories. I thought I had spegetti right. I spelt it wrong again didn't I? Ooooh. Blah. I'll fix it.
Terry Logan
why isn't this the book of random terra bashing?
oh, wait, that exists and i already read it
Because, well. I bash everybody. Even Raven a couple of times, to be fair to everybody. If that's what I'm going to call it. :P
COPYRIGHT AND GUIDELINES (UPGRADE!)
Blue Flame Incorperated is copyrighted by Darkmatt. All rights are reserved. Though I may not be able to sue you, I betcha you don't want to make an asswipe out of yourself and steal from me.
Darkmatt does not own any of the fictional characters included in this story, besides Darkmatt. Which are only used in a parodic and fictional matter ONLY. In english, he doesn't own them.
This story is a non-profit project and Darkmatt doesn't expect any money to come from this. (Poor, poor me. :) )
Though I am happy that you care to review this fic I am not happy when I get reviews that is hateful, spam, and what not.
I DO NOT accept the following reviews and is not tolerated.
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like to think of things on my own thank you very much.
Though I DO accept...
E-Mail about a spelling error, plot misfit.
Braking these guidelines will result in being blocked, and other misc. punishments that I see fit.
NOTE: If I miss something in the copyright, please E-Mail it to me ASAP please!
Thanks for following these guidelines. It shouldn't be a problem tomost reviewers.
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