The Marauders found themselves being cross-examined on the Potions debacle throughout the day, as they were the only ones to come out of the lesson unaffected. The talk around the school was that Professor Quinn and her 5th year class of Gryffindors and Slytherins had woozily awoken lying on the dungeon floor sometime after lunch, disorientated, and most of them covered in bright blue feathers. James and Sirius encouraged the rumour that the essence of hellebore they had been using was apparently contaminated, and that the four of them were lucky to be running an errand out of class at the time when it all happened.

To their relief, many believed this, although not everyone seemed convinced.

"I swear," muttered Remus as they made their way out of Defence Against the Dark Arts, their last lesson. "Some of the teachers suspect us…you must have noticed Professor Sinistra looking at us strangely,"

Sirius was in denial, and positive that no one knew.

"Nah," he said. "That was probably just because Peter kept giggling,"

Peter chortled again. "I'm sorry! I just keep thinking of Snape covered in those feathers!"

"Yeah," said James with a grin, messing up his already scruffy hair. "That was classic!"

"Snape- he's another one who knows," said Remus pointedly. "We're going to get in some serious trouble soon if we don't watch out,"

"No we won't!" replied James in a lofty tone. "We're too good for the lot of them,"

"Its talk like that that's going to get us caught," Remus muttered.

"Ohh, cheer up Moony!" Sirius urged, leaning over and ruffling his friend's light brown hair.

Remus gave him a very unimpressed look and furiously smoothed his hair down again.

"I don't mind some of the more harmless jokes you play, there's nothing wrong with those," he said. "But the ones that involve hurting or humiliating people…"

"Says Remus Lupin, the Gryffindor Prefect who magicked a whole collection of hardcover books to fall on the librarians head," grinned James.

"That-that was different," Remus stammered, looking a little flushed. "Anyway that's beside the point. Everyone suspects us because whenever something happens, we're always there but manage to never be involved!"

Peter thought for a moment, scratching his head. "Maybe," he said. "If we actually fell for the pranks…then it would look like it wasn't us!"

Sirius turned to face Peter, a totally blank expression on his face.

"That really would defeat the whole purpose, Peter," he said, then added, "You pratt,"

They reached the Fat Lady's portrait and were just about to speak the password and enter when it swung open, and 2 girls stepped out. One of them was Mary Moran, a Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and the other, Lily Evans. She had her thick dark red hair pinned up on one side with a pretty green clip, bringing out the colour in her eyes.

James instantly seemed to drift off into a trance upon seeing her.

"Here we go," muttered Sirius with a knowing smile.

"All right Evans?" asked James eagerly.

Lily's turned her head sharply when she heard her name called. An unusually cold look passed over her face.

"Yes, Potter," she replied. "Emmeline has been better, though,"

"Oh? Why's that then?"

Lily blinked, as if he should already know.

"We're just going down to the Hospital Wing to see her now. She was unlucky enough to be in your Potions class yesterday when everything went wrong,"

"Ohh, that!" said James. "Yeah, heard all about it…"

Lily looked impatient. Mary was backing her up as much as possible, giving daggers to all four Marauders.

"If Snape was telling the truth yesterday," Lily said coldly. "And if it really was all your fault, then I think you should be highly ashamed of yourselves,"

James did his best to look affronted. "You shouldn't listen to anything that slimy git says!"

"Oh, and I should believe everything you say, Potter?" asked Lily. James tried to speak back, but just made a few unintelligible noises. Lily looked past him and smiled a little more warmly.

"See you later Remus, Peter…Sirius,"

With that, she turned on her heel and walked away, Mary in tow, still glaring at the Marauders in hatred.

"Well," said Sirius dramatically. "You've been told off, Jamesy,"

James was scowling.

"What does she know?" he said bitterly. "I'm a very honest and respectable person, most of the time!"

The Fat Lady suddenly laughed from behind them, startling them all.

"Honest and respectable?" she queried. "Master Potter, if you don't mind me saying so- no one 'honest and respectable' sneaks out of their common room at 5:30 in the morning with a large bag of dungbombs!"

James stared up at her in disbelief, open mouthed. Remus shook his head and laughed.

"You see, James? Even the portraits don't trust you!"

After being accused as a liar by the Fat Lady and Lily Evans, James was now even more determined than ever to pull the ultimate stealth-based prank. The four boys had returned briefly to the dormitories for James to get 'the secret weapon', and then left, heading downstairs again. Sirius was itching to know the plans for their next practical joke.

"So Prongs, do elaborate- what's this 'secret weapon' of yours?"

James proudly drew a bottle from his pocket. It was funnily shaped, and filled with a red liquid, flecked with black specks. "This is Pepper Breath Potion," he explained. "It was one of the things I nicked from Quinn's store room this morning,"

"Pepper Breath Potion?" repeated Sirius, looking a trifle confused. "Now why has Professor Quinn of all people got something like that in her store room? It's the kind of thing you buy at Zonko's!"

James looked at the potion thoughtfully.

"Maybe she's a Marauder at heart?" he suggested, raising his eyebrows.

"I wouldn't count on it," said Remus bleakly.

Peter desperately wanted to know more. "So what does it do, James?"

"Well, I believe it heats things up a tad," said James, with a twisted smile. "It says here on the bottle: 'Effects include burning of the throat and mouth, a boiling sensation of the insides and fire breathing,"-(Sirius laughed evilly and clapped his hands together)-"Warning: to be used in moderation.' Moderation?? Yeah, right. God, we're going to have some fun with this!"

"This is all going to end in tears, I know it," groaned Remus.

"What's the plan, Prongsy?" asked Sirius, taking the bottle from James and reading it himself.

James checked behind him, and stopped them as they rounded a corner.

"Ok," he said seriously. "I figure we sneak into the kitchens, convince the kitchen elves we're there to do research for an assignment or something, then while they're distracted, we whack a bit of the old Pepper Breath into certain people's pumpkin juice!"

"Its genius, James- I love it!" Sirius hooted as they continued walking.

"I think that's a brilliant plan!" Peter said, beaming. "I wish I'd thought of it,"

"Wait a minute," said Remus, his eyes wary. "When you say 'certain people'…do you mean you're going to put Pepper Breath Potion in Snape's pumpkin juice?"

James lead the way down a flight of stairs, a definite spring in his step. "Not just Snape's, Rem- the whole bally lot of 'em!"

Remus was quickly getting frustrated with James' cocky vagueness.

"The whole- who are you talking about, James?"

James' hazel eyes were glinting manically. "I'm talking about the entire population of Slytherin!"

"Why them?" asked Remus, eyebrows raised.

Sirius angrily tried to interject. "Because they're a bunch of nasty f-"

"Because they just deserve it," said James, loudly, over the top of him. "I've had enough of how childishly they act on the Quidditch pitch. They're bad news, the lot of them,"

Remus rolled his eyes.

"James…" he said, warningly. "I don't think-"

"So this potion actually makes you breath fire?" asked Sirius. "Wow…wonder how much we'll need to put in?"

"Not much I don't reckon," said James, as they descended the marble staircase, and turned left. "Its very effective stuff, apparently. Oh I can't wait to see Snivellus and his Slytherin buddies taking a sip of this!"

"Buddies?" joked Sirius. "Hang on- since when does Snivellus have buddies?"

Sirius and James were in the sort of mood to find this extremely funny- Peter laughed along with them. Remus gave an exasperated sigh.

They jogged down flight of stone steps and reached a brightly lit corridor, decorated with portraits of food.

James lead them to the end.

"Right," he said. "Now we have to do this carefully. I think two of us should go in, and two of us should stay out here, to keep watch. So who's going in?"

"Hmm," said Sirius, stroking an imaginary goatee. "Who looks the most like a house elf? Ah, Wormtail!"

"Wh-what?" stammered Peter.

"Go on, Pete," said Sirius. "They won't notice you creeping around- you're short!"

"Well…ok," Peter shrugged. "What is it I have to look for again?"

Sirius took him by the shoulders and repeated the instructions slowly.

"The Sly-ther-in pump-kin juice gob-lets," he said. "There should be four sets of goblets, a set for each house table. You need to find the ones marked 'Slytherin'. Got it?"

Peter paused, taking this information in, then nodded fervently. Sirius sighed.

"He's gonna forget that in about 30 seconds, I bet you. He's got the memory of a rat,"

"You go in with him to make sure he doesn't," said James. "Moony and I will keep watch,"

"Oh will we?" asked Remus vehemently. "I really wish you two would ask me before just dragging me into a prank like this, and then just assuming I'll take part,"

James smiled vaguely past Remus to Sirius.

"You were right in what you said the other morning, Padfoot- definitely 'that time of the month', I'd say,"

"I really hate you two sometimes," said Remus shaking his head, sullenly.

"We're only joking, Moony! Now, be an absolute dear and go and keep watch over at the stairs back there," said James, giving his friend a jovial push in the right direction.

Rather crossly, Remus rolled up his sleeves and stormed over to the stairs. James turned to a framed portrait of a large fruit bowl, and tickled the pear. It giggled for a moment, before turning into a green door handle.

He opened the door and bowed elegantly to Peter and Sirius as they walked in, past him.

"Make me proud, Marauders!"

Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew had been into the Hogwarts kitchens countless times. They- along with James and Remus, of course- had discovered the secret of tickling the pear sometime in their first year, and used to take great delight in sneaking in late at night to steal food and sweets- or being voluntarily given it by overly generous house elves. The atmosphere before dinner during the evening, they noticed, was a lot more hectic than it was at midnight when they used to creep in, and there were house elves bustling about the place, cooking and preparing meals. It smelled wonderful, and the two boys were getting hungry after only being in there for seconds.

They had just began to walk down the middle of the four house tables, identical to the ones above in the Great Hall, when one particularly pointy elf wearing a tartan tea towel came hurrying up to them, looking frantic.

"Sirs should not be in here!" he squeaked. "Very busy time in the kitchens, Sirs!"

"Oh, we're sorry," said Sirius good naturedly. "We were hoping you and the other elves would be able to help us out…you see…my friend and I are doing a school project together…and we chose to write all about house elves, and how friendly, and wonderfully kind hearted beings they are! We came down here to ask you all some questions. Of course, if you're too busy, then-"

The little elf goggled up at Sirius and Peter in utter admiration, his wide eyes welling with tears.

"Moffy would be honoured, Sir!" he gasped.

"Excellent!" said Sirius, grinning. "That would be very kind of you,"

"K-kind of Moffy, Sir?" Moffy the house elf looked as if he were fighting the urge to get down on the ground and kiss Sirius' shoes. "Sir praises Moffy like an 'equal'! Moffy is not worthy, Sir!"

"Oh, God," Sirius muttered to Peter. "These house elves don't get out much, do they?"

"Come and sit down, Sir!"

Without warning, Moffy took Sirius' hand and dragged him over to the fireplace, forcing him down into a chair with a tatty cushion.

"Moffy will get other kitchen elves to come and help Sir!"

Moffy trotted off. Sirius turned to Peter.

"Right," he said softly. "I'll keep them busy here, while you go off and find the Slytherin goblets. They should already be set up with pumpkin juice in them, so just add a bit of the Pepper Breath Potion to each one. All right?"

Peter took a deep breath. "Ok," he said.

Moffy returned with a little troupe of house elves, all looking eager to help.

"Would Sir like a cup of tea?" asked a female elf wearing an dirty apron. "And a chocolate biscuit?"

"Oh, I couldn't possibly refuse!" said Sirius. He leaned back in his chair and looked sharply up at Peter. "What are you hanging around for? Go!!" he hissed.

"Would Sir like one sugar or two?"

"Oh, two, no three- four! Make it four, thankyou Moffy,"

Peter turned around and worriedly set off in search of the Slytherin goblets. He made his way over to the tables, and went to the one with green and silver table decorations.

"This must be it," he said to himself. His eyes scanned the settings- no plates, no knives and forks…no goblets. None of the crockery or cutlery had been set up yet. He left the tables and started searching through some of the pots and pans stacked up around the sides- alas, the Slytherin goblets were nowhere in sight, let alone set up and filled with pumpkin juice, ready to serve. Peter was getting panicked. 'What do I do??' he thought frantically to himself. "How am I supposed to pour in the Pepper Breath Potion if I can't even find the goblets??"

He bit his lip and took one more look around the room before glancing back over to the fireplace. Sirius was in the lap of luxury, reclined by the fire with his feet up on a stack of cushions. He was surrounded by excited, babbling house elves, all talking animatedly and fussing over him.

"Er- Sirius?" called Peter. "Sirius! I can't find the-"

"Shut up and keep looking, Peter!" shouted Sirius, cup of tea in one hand, plate of biscuits in the other. "Can't you see I'm being pampered?"

Peter gave a helpless sigh, and returned to looking around the kitchen. Suddenly, his eyes caught site of something over near where the food was being cooked. It was an enormous vat of something steaming hot, and whatever it was, it smelled nice. Peter checked that no house elves were watching (almost all of them had abandoned making dinner, and were over with Sirius), and crept over. The vat was big enough to swim in and was filled with pumpkin juice, bubbling away unattended. Peter's heart leapt- this was it. He pulled the bottle of Pepper Breath Potion from his pocket and uncorked it. Though just as he did, something struck him.

'Hang on,' he thought to himself. 'This looks like the pumpkin juice for everyone, not just the Slytherins…if I put this in here, then…'

Peter spun around.

"Sirius!" he shouted again. "I- I found the pumpkin juice, but its-"

"Great!" replied Sirius from the fireplace, now having his cushions fluffed by Moffy. "Go right ahead!"

"B-but Sirius its all in one big-"

"Just do it, Peter!"

Peter turned back to the bubbling vat of juice, dubiously. His hand trembled as started to pour in the red potion. He paused after tipping in about a cupful, then considered how annoyed James and Sirius would be if he didn't do it right, and emptied the rest of the bottle's contents into the vat. Hoping he hadn't put too much in, and knowing he would have to at least warn the other Marauders not to drink the Pumpkin Juice that night, he stepped down and returned warily to Sirius.

"So," Sirius was saying to the house elves. "You've all been working here for…how long?"

The house elves nattered excitedly, all trying to squeeze a word in edgeways to their guest.

"Is that so!" said Sirius, trying to look interested. He noticed Peter standing by uneasily. "Ah, Peter! You're back! Everything 'go all right'?"

Peter nodded timidly. "Um…Sirius…th-there's something I have to talk to you about-"

"Later, Pete," said Sirius casually. He stood up and addressed the house elves.

"Well, it's been an absolute pleasure visiting you today. Thankyou very kindly for your hospitality and your help,"

Moffy latched onto Sirius' leg.

"S-Sir! You will come back and see Moffy, won't you?"

Sirius frantically tried to remove him as he stepped backwards. "Of course I will, as soon as possible! Thankyou for the tea, much appreciated!"

He leaned over to Peter. "Come on, lets get out of here," he mumbled.

The house elves waved teary-eyed as Sirius dragged Peter over to the exit.

Peter took one last fleeting look at the vat of pumpkin juice, which seemed to be bubbling with a little more vigour than before, and gulped.

Dinner time seemed to come around surprisingly quickly, and before long, the Marauders and other students were filing into the Great Hall routinely. Sirius and James were grinning from ear to ear in expectation, and already glancing over at the Slytherin table as they sat down, making sure they were facing them, so as to get a good view when things 'heated up'. Remus had given up on being annoyed with Sirius and James for today; it was pointless, he figured. Both of them were in far too much of a conceited mood to listen to anyone. Peter, for once, was the one who seemed most worried, and had barely spoken a word to anyone since he and Sirius had left the kitchen. He had tried in vain to explain to Sirius and James that he'd put the Pepper Breath Potion in everyone's juice, not just the Slytherin's- but they were in no mood to listen, and instead just continued boisterously bragging about how brilliant they were at getting away with pranks scott free.

As they sat at the Gryffindor table, the four of them noticed several students around the hall were sporting bandages- some more than others. One particular Slytherin girl who passed them was unaware that several blue feathers were poking out from under the dressings on her wrist- which James and Sirius found hysterically funny.

Remus was tempted to indicate to the self conscious looking bandaged students sitting scattered around the Hall and point out to his two friends the damage they'd caused, but remembered that he wasn't supposed to be telling them off anymore tonight, and simply sat quietly. Professor Quinn marched in, and passed their table, looking a bit unsteady on her feet, and as if she was suffering with a headache. James turned his gaze elsewhere, trying not to laugh.

"Can't see Snape yet," he commented. "Maybe he's still too feathery to leave the hospital wing yet!"

"Oh, this is going to be brilliant," whispered Sirius excitedly. "Well done for not messing it up, Wormtail!"

Remus looked sideways at Peter, who was chewing his fingernails and looking a little fretful.

"Are you all right, Peter?" he asked.

Peter nodded. "Yes," he said shrilly. "F-fine, thankyou,"

Remus wasn't convinced, but he didn't have time to press the matter, as food appeared on their tables, and people started to pile things onto their plates. Every golden goblet in site was now topped up with pumpkin juice. Peter closed his eyes, grimacing, as James and Sirius started to chuckle evilly.

"Any minute now, Padfoot," said James. "Someone poor unsuspecting Slytherin is going to take their first mouthful of Pepper Breath Pumpkin Juice!!"

"You two are cruel," Remus muttered, picking up his own goblet, and raising it to his mouth, ready to take a sip. Peter suddenly seized his arm, stopping him. Remus frowned slightly, giving him a questioning look.

Peter frantically shook his head, silently pleading him not to drink any.

Remus slowly lowered his goblet, cottoning on to what Peter was trying to tell him.

Sirius and James meanwhile were far too busy craning their necks to see if any Slytherin's had taken a drink yet.

A sudden strangled cry and a burst of fire from the Slytherin table told them that yes, someone had. The Great Hall fell considerably quieter as they looked over to see where the noise had come from. A little blonde first year was standing up, fanning his open mouth, his face bright red- he gave a few sharp coughs and flames shot out of his mouth like a dragon. The majority of the Great Hall roared with laughter, confused but thoroughly amused. The little blonde first year wasn't the only one- several more Slytherins began to cough and splutter, choking out thick orange flames, and looking utterly shocked and frightened. James and Sirius were in ecstasy and were both convulsing with laughter, bent double in their seats and pounding their fists on the table. Of course, they were both too busy laughing to notice that it wasn't only the Slytherin's who were flaming at the mouth- several Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws and even Gryffindors further down the table from them were also starting to cough and cry out in alarm as they found themselves spewing red hot flames into the air. People were either laughing helplessly, shrieking, or breathing fire, and the Great Hall was quickly turning into a danger zone, with flames shooting forth from people's mouths in all directions. Brian Baddock from the Slytherin table was looking terrified at his sudden flame breathing ability, and was frantically guzzling more pumpkin juice to try to cool his mouth and throat down, and two Ravenclaw twins were particularly distressed as they had managed to set each other on fire, and were running around in circles screaming.

Remus looked at Peter worriedly- Peter himself had his face regretfully buried in his arms, not being able to watch.

"James," said Sirius through his giggling, still oblivious that their prank had gone a little further than they'd planned. He held up his full goblet. "James- I propose a toast!"

James in turn picked up his, wiping the tears from behind his glasses with a sigh. "To the Marauders!" he said. "And their brilliance!"

Peter looked up just as the two friends touched goblets.

"Guys-" he said in desperation. "I really, really have to tell you-"

"Don't ruin the moment, Wormtail!" laughed James. "Cheers!"

Both Remus and Peter winced as James and Sirius tilted their heads back and drank deeply, draining their goblets and setting them down again.

It happened almost instantly.

Sirius blinked and touched his forehead.

"Is it hot in here, or is it just me?" he asked.

"Just you, mate," joked James, but was also looking a bit flustered, and was loosening his collar, frowning slightly.

"Oh no," said Remus, in a small voice. Peter looked absolutely frantic.

Sirius and James were both growing red in the cheeks and sweating slightly, visibly getting warm. They both, at the same time, pressed their hands just below their chests, looking a bit worried.

"I don't feel right," said Sirius ominously.

"Me either," said James. "Feels like I'm going to-"

He didn't finish. Both sets of eyes widened. They staggered out of their seats, coughing so violently anyone would have thought they were choking to death. Then, at the same time, they both gave incredibly forceful retches and doubled over, hacking up two enormous spurts of fire, scorching the floor.

Remus and Peter looked on in horror at their two friends as the chaos continued around them. James and Sirius stood panting and leaning on the table, trying to comprehend what had just happened- they didn't have much time, though, as both were overtaken by another wave of fire, and they started coughing and flaming again.

"PETER!!" Sirius shouted hoarsely between fire spurts, grasping the table for support. "WHAT DID YOU DO??"

"I couldn't find the Slytherin goblets!" Peter wailed. "I'm sorry! I-I had to! It was the only way I could do it!"

James clutched his throat and coughed out a jet of flames that singed a nearby Ravenclaw girl's hair.

"You idiot, Pettigrew!!" he snarled once he'd recovered. "You idiot!!!"

"I'm sorry, James!" cried Peter, trying to sound as sincere as he could with people all around him screaming and breathing fire.

Sirius reeled back and produced another gush of flames, this time setting a 3rd year Hufflepuff boy's robe hood on fire. The boy, sensing things were getting a bit toasty, screamed in realisation and immediately dropped to the ground, rolling around trying to extinguish himself.

Several teachers- who had figured that the pumpkin juice was the source of the problem- were hurrying down the aisles, flicking their wands to clearing away the goblets as quickly as they could, dodging the students who were still uncontrollably fire breathing. Luckily the majority seemed to be cooling down now, and were now only coughing out embers and dry wisps of smoke.

"No more," croaked James, collapsing. "Please no more,"

Peter looked as if he wanted to bolt out of the Hall before either James or Sirius punched him square in the face. Remus looked at them both anxiously.

"Are you two ok now?"

"Fine," snapped Sirius rather huskily, trying to clear his throat. "Absolutely flipping terrific, thanks to Peter,"

Peter looked distraught, absently pulling at his mousy hair.

"I said I was sorry," he offered feebly. "I-I'll never do it again!"

"You'll never bloody do anything again if you don't shut that mouth of yours!" James rasped.

Remus glanced around the Great Hall, and for some reason even he wasn't sure of, started to smile slightly.

"Well," he said, looking back to his friends. "I guess you could say that one sort of 'backfired', couldn't you?"

"Not funny, Remus!" Sirius and James groaned in unison, slouching forward at the table.

"Not funny at all!"

Well, I think Sirius and James got what they deserved! RR, folks- next chapter will be under way soon.