DISCLAIMER: I do not own The OC or its characters.

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After Kirsten's relapse, it was like she was starting rehab all over again. Thoughts about her sentence creeping into her mind, thoughts about how she was going to be able to handle rehab for another 5 weeks, wondering how was she going to handle life after rehab facing all of Newport as an ex-alcoholic, who had been gone for 6 weeks in rehab as part of a court-ordered sentence. More importantly, how was she going to face her family? Seth had been really annoyed with her and she was sure that he still was. Ryan seemed to understand but she felt horrible for making him go through this process again, just as he did with Dawn. She let her whole family down, especially Sandy, who would do anything for her to make her get through any problem she faced. But she turned to alcohol anyway. Now she had to mend the mess she had created. What would life be like after rehab? Would everything go back to normal or would things never be the same?

Eileen helped Kirsten get through the next few days as she faced these doubts. Everyday after her scheduled shift Eileen would meet Kirsten in the garden and listen to her pour her heart out. She let Kirsten cry on her shoulder when Kirsten talked or thought about the most hurtful subjects for her to deal with…her problem of alcohol, the guilt and shame she was feeling, and facing her family after what she put them through. Eileen knew that rehab was helping Kirsten since she was finally about to start talking about her problems and let her emotions out freely.

It was now Thursday, a week since Kirsten's last phone call home. It was time for her second call home. Because of the agenda of counseling sessions that day, the nurse told Kirsten to call home in the afternoon, at 3:30pm. Nervously, Kirsten picked up the phone and dialed Sandy's cell phone. She assumed he had gone back to work, as he had taken off so many weeks because of her, he probably wanted to get back to work as soon as she left for rehab. That was another thing Kirsten felt guilty about, keeping Sandy away from his passion, helping people. She didn't want to hold him back from fulfilling his dreams, but she knew that her alcoholism did put a dent in his career, and business, as various clients dropped Sandy from their case after his non showing up to scheduled meetings.

The phone went right to voice mail. Kirsten was surprised, even after all the hurt she caused Sandy, she thought he would have definitely remembered that today was her day to call him, not even realizing that she did not tell him when she'd call this week. She sighed, again worrying about what their marriage would be like after rehab. She pondered who in her family to call next. She chose Seth, knowing that Ryan understood Kirsten's situation better than Seth. Even more nervous than she was when dialing Sandy, she dialed Seth's cell phone, hoping he would answer.

"Hello?" Summer said confused when she didn't recognize the phone number.

"Summer?" Kirsten said just as confused as Summer.

"Mrs. Cohen? Hi! How are you?"

"I'm okay, how are you doing?" Kirsten said embarrassedly.

"Good. I miss you though."

"I miss you too. Where's Seth?"

"Oh, right, sorry, I forgot I answered his phone. We're in the club, Seth is trying on tuxes for cotillion."

"Oh right, cotillion," Kirsten said sadly. Since arriving at rehab, she tried to forget about the happy times she'd be missing, cotillion included.

Summer sensed the sadness in Kirsten's voice and ran over to the boys' dressing room and knocked on the door, whispering, "Seth, you have a phone call! Here!" she said sliding the phone underneath the door.

"Who is it?" Seth asked.

"Oh, its, umm, well it's a surprise. Hurry up and answer it!"

"Hello?"

"Hi Seth," Kirsten said tentatively.

"Mom?" Seth said surprised.

"Yeah. How are you?"

"I'm good. Trying on a tux at the moment. How are you?"

Kirsten breathed a small sigh of relief that Seth was actually talking to her. He still seemed upset with her, but not angry. "Okay…I miss you baby."

Bluntly, Seth said, "Are you getting better?"

Summer kicked Seth underneath the door.

"Oww, Summer!"

Kirsten paused, unsure of what to say. She felt like hanging up the phone right then in there. She didn't know if she could do this, talk to Seth about how she was doing in rehab. She wasn't even sure she could talk to Sandy about this yet, let alone her kids.

"Mom?" Seth said after not hearing her respond.

"I'm here sweetie. I was just giving you a minute…you seem like you're busy right now."

"Oh no, Summer just kicked me so I was kicking her back." Summer kicked him again, thinking that sometimes Seth really was clueless about how to relate to women. "Trust me, an interruption like a phone call is good right now, because it stops me from trying on tuxes."

Kirsten let out a small laugh, saying, "I know how much you love trying on tuxes."

"You know me well. So how are you doing in rehab? You never answered my question." Seth got kicked yet a third time from Summer, as she whispered, "Seth, maybe she doesn't want to talk about it!"

"Oh, right, I'm doing okay. But I miss you and Ryan and your dad so much. I even miss the Newpsies. I can't wait to come home."

"Can't wait to have you back," Seth almost automatically responded back. After saying it, he realized what he said. He knew he had been pretty cold to his mother ever since he found out she was an alcoholic, but suddenly, he realized that he missed her a lot and wanted her to know that. He felt awkward and embarrassed for how he had been treating her the past few weeks but didn't know what to say.

"That means a lot to me Seth. I want you to know that every day I think about you and how you're doing. I can't wait to make you breakfast again in the morning," Kirsten said smiling.

"I look forward to you making me and Ryan toast in the morning. It's the only thing you know how to make, well, really good."

"Thanks Seth," Kirsten said sarcastically. The nurse came into her room and told her to wrap the conversation up as it was time for group activities. "Well, I've got to go now. It's time for group activities."

"Alright mom, take care of yourself. Ryan and I miss you a lot, and I know that dad misses you even more. He's like a lost puppy without you."

"Really?" Kirsten said with surprise and sadness in her voice.

"Yeah, but don't worry, he's okay, we're taking care of him. But yeah, he misses you. We all can't wait till you come home."

"Thanks Seth, that means a lot to me," Kirsten said again. "Good luck at cotillion. I love you."

"Love you too."

Kirsten smiled, happy that the conversation went so well and relieved that she didn't get a craving throughout the entire conversation. She thought she would have gotten one as hearing her family on the phone made her miss them more and lead her to crave alcohol, but not today, she was holding her own. She breathed a sigh of relief.

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"Why didn't you call me as soon as your mother called, Seth?" Sandy said with frustration, as he had been in court when Seth got the call.

"Because I knew that if I did, you would come right home, call rehab, find out what happened because you wouldn't trust me, blah, blah blah. Dad its fine, I handled my own," Seth said gloating.

"You weren't rude to her, were you?" Sandy said still annoyed.

"No, I wasn't. I told her that we miss her a lot. I told her that you really miss her."

"Seth," Sandy said playfully hitting Seth on the arm.

"What is this, like Hit Seth Day! That's four times in one day!"

"What did she say? Is she doing okay?"

"She didn't talk much about rehab, but she seemed to be doing okay. A lot better than she was before she went."

"Good," Sandy said nodding, still wishing he had spoken to her. "Did she say anything about when she's going to call again?" Sandy asked, wondering if she finally addressed the issue he had to find out from the receptionist.

"She didn't say. She seemed sad about not going to cotillion though. I'm sorry I brought it up."

"Yeah, well, we don't know how she's going to take everything we say when we talk about home stuff. She probably just wishes she was home as opposed to there," Sandy said trying to comfort Seth.

"That's what she said."

"I'm glad she's doing better," Ryan jumped in. "Maybe if I'm home when she calls next time I could talk to her for a minute?"

"Sure Ryan," Sandy said nodding, "that'd be good for her."

"Good. So, should we head down to the Crab Shack for some dinner?" Ryan asked, trying to end the awkward situation. He knew Seth and Sandy were shaken up after the phone call. He was too, but he was more relieved that Kirsten was doing well and sticking with the program.

Everyone agreed and they headed out.

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That night, Kirsten couldn't get the thoughts about cotillion out of her mind. It never occurred to her until Seth brought it up. She wouldn't be going to cotillion. The first one she'd be missing since the cotillions she'd missed when she rebelled against her parents right after her debut into society as lead debut and until the Cohens moved to Newport. But this was different, she was missing this cotillion while her family was going. Without her. Like she wasn't needed for life to go on.

She started getting really upset and lonely. Thinking back to her conversation with Seth, she tried to remember if he had sounded really sincere in saying that everyone missed Kirsten. Did they? Or would it just be better if after rehab, Kirsten and Sandy went their separate ways. Oh no, she didn't even want to think about that. She didn't mean what she had said to Sandy that night before rehab started, but what if he took it that way? What if he already bought a new house for him and the kids to live in without her? What if she was too much of a burden on their family? What if her mistakes had cost her the life she loved?

As she pondered these thoughts, she started getting a severe headache. She buzzed the nurse, hoping to get something to take for the pain. Kirsten didn't want to get a craving because of how she was feeling, so maybe the nurse would distract her while giving her some medicine.

How much longer to go in rehab? Or better yet, how much longer till I feel better? Kirsten thought. A little less than 5 weeks to go.