Disclaimer: I know it's annoying. However, characters still aren't mine… but I am thinking about negotiating for Jennifer Aniston though she may be out of my price range.
Other stuff: I'm having a hard time incorporating the other four in this story seeing as how Ross and Rachel are the core of this story, but I'm trying. As for the "shocker," don't worry about it… it will clear itself up. Read and review, pretty please? Wow, don't make me use that phrase, ever again. Anyways, on with the story…
Two
The words "I love you" reverberated constantly in her mind, pounding her head as if she were recovering from a hangover… only without the alcohol. It seemed ridiculous that those three simple words would still have a huge impact on her possibly because they were coming from him – the man she hadn't dated in over six years, the father of their daughter, and possibly the only man she had ever truly loved. Ross. Getting the best of her, Rachel's emotions tumbled down, which left her feeling like her world had just imploded. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, still dealing with the fall-out of Ross's revelation – something she had known this whole time, yet she still needing his verbal affirmation. She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but didn't. After all the last time Rachel told him that she was still in love with him, it ended up in rejection because he was married to Emily. "That bitch," Rachel mumbled at the mere thought of Emily. Before the flight had taken off, Rachel figured she should call Ross, but she didn't think he'd want to talk to her right now. She hated seeing the hurt look in his eyes, but most of all, she loathed the fact that she was the one inflicting that pain. She also thought about calling Phoebe, but odds were that she was still with Ross or that Phoebe wouldn't have wanted to talk to her either after shattering Ross's heart. Rachel had known that the gang had always wanted them together, especially Phoebe. So, she just sat there, thinking. Rachel tried thinking positively that Emma would be with her in a couple days but couldn't, knowing that she was also Ross's daughter and that in a sense she was taking Emma away like Carol had done with Ben.
It wasn't as though Rachel hadn't been with several 'boys' before or after Ross, some of which weren't worth another mention. Ross had been different, yet at the same time he wasn't. She thought she had loved Chip Matthews, the star football player and the prom date that stood her up until the last possible moment. Back then, she was too naïve to notice and too popular to care that she meant absolutely nothing to Chip. To him, Rachel had been nothing more than the girl he was fucking at the moment. The fact that she was Lincoln High's head cheerleader and homecoming queen gave him something to brag about to and made her locker room fodder for his jock friends. At the slightest possibility that Rachel would lose prom queen, he ran off to have sex with the other nominee, Amy Welsh. With Barry, she didn't love him and never did. She was fascinated by and attracted to being married to a doctor and filthy rich without doing a thing. Although she loved them, she would've been just like her mother and father – trapped in a loveless marriage. Rachel had eventually found out that the same Barry had been with her then-best friend and maid of honor, Mindy, while they were still engaged. There was Paolo, which should've been nothing more than a fling, yet somehow she became emotionally attached to him. Finding out he had hit on Phoebe left her distraught, even cursing off men for awhile. In all the wrong places, she had been looking and trying too hard to find love. Rachel had been putting herself out there, only to be disappointed.
"Ross," she mentioned, thinking of her next serious boyfriend after Paolo. He was the first guy she had truly loved, but more importantly, the first guy to love her back unconditionally. She poured everything into her relationship with Ross, finally thinking this would be the relationship that stuck, the one that would've ended with a happy marriage and a beautiful wedding. However, their relationship ended no differently than the rest. Just then, it hit Rachel. Here it was, the "Ross moment" she had told Phoebe about on her first night away from Emma, which was the same night she had impulsively given her phone number to "Bill from the bar" because she had connected with him and was tired of waiting for Ross – the ensuing fight that came along with this, leading her back to Apartment 19 and her brief "romance" with Joey. Tonight was the moment she had been waiting an entire year for, but still balked at the opportunity of a possible reunion even after he confessed his love for her. She was still on the plane to Paris, and now, it was too late to get off the plane. Rachel had thought she had been too cynical for her own good, thinking that it was better not to have gone "down that road" than to have herself get hurt again. Stopping herself, she questioned, "But why did last night feel so right?"
Finally getting settled comfortably in her seat and tears flowing freely down her face, she continued to reflect on the other guys she had dated after Ross: Mark – the guy that insanely and so effortlessly made Ross jealous; Joshua – the poor sap helped her temporarily move on from Ross but scared him off after Ross proposed to Emily; Danny – the weird incestuous guy that she had been with after Ross's divorce from Emily; Paul – Ross's ex-girlfriend's father, the guy she'd dated to help Ross so that Ross would have the approval to date Elizabeth and who had been too emotional after opening him up; Tag – the assistant that she almost lost her job for and was "too old" for; and Joey – which in hindsight, was only because of her sense of desperation to find someone, feeling left out after her other friends were paired off. She wasn't going anywhere with Ross since he was pining after Charlie. Before drifting off, she declared, "They're not Ross."
XXX
The alarms blared from inside Ross's bedroom, scaring the hell out of Ross who had been passed out on his couch.
Almost screaming, "Rachel and Joey?" were the first words escaping from his dry mouth. It had all been a horrible, yet terrifyingly realistic nightmare. He hoped it wasn't one of those premonitions or visions that Phoebe often talked about. 5:30 AM, the alarm clock read. "Wow, did I just pass out on my couch?" Ross murmured to himself, flatly. Becoming more aware and awake, he felt alone… Monica had Chandler, Phoebe had Mike, and well, he couldn't turn to Joey in that manner. "God, I miss her," Ross declared, not even 24 hours after she left and missed everything about her – her long beautiful golden-brown hair, her gorgeous bluish-green eyes, her luscious lips, her infectious smile and distinctive laugh, her care-free personality, and her good heart. Her well-proportioned body was a bonus, but it was the other things that mattered first and foremost. Then he began contemplating other stuff, had I been too straightforward? Did I scare her off? Did I do anything wrong that made her leave? He thought he had caught her bluffing about actually going to Paris, but she was gone. Ross was again lost in thought until he saw checked the clock. 6:00 A.M., Ross noted. "Do I have to work, today?"
He, looking like a wreck, opted for a shower and changed his clothes. To anyone who didn't know him, they never would've guessed anything was wrong with him. But to his friends and family, they would have noticed that it was killing him. He left his apartment, headed for Central Perk. "I hope they're not there yet," Ross whispered still not wanting to see his friends yet, again not yet ready for their questions. "Man, I'm in for a long day at NYU."
Ross loved his job. Who wouldn't? He was actually being paid to talk about stuff he loved: science, particularly paleontology, prehistoric creatures, and dinosaurs. However, without Rachel here, he just didn't have the motivation or strength to put up with his somewhat monotonously daily schedule, nor did he have anything to look forward to after work… not that there was anything wrong with his other four friends. He peered in Central Perk's doors before entering, checking to see if his friends were there. "Score," he quipped as he entered. "Hey Gunther, can I get a cup of coffee?" The platinum blond-haired man blushed, recollecting of his own confession to Rachel last night and hoping Ross wouldn't remember. Unfortunately, Ross did but wasn't feeling up to reliving last night. He almost felt guilty for thinking that if Gunther hadn't gone up to Rachel first, maybe he would've told her right then and there – the same place they had their first kiss almost eight and a half years ago. Ross spoke softly, has it been that long? After being handed his coffee, he headed out the door and for NYU. "Thanks Gunther," he mentioned, signaling to him there were no hard feelings between them.
XXX
"How you do think he's holding up right now, Mon?" Joey asked curiously. "Don't know, Joe," Monica replied while holding her newborn daughter, "I called him last night after Phoebe left, but all I got was his answering machine. I know he's working today though, maybe we'll see him after." Instantaneously, Chandler came walking in with Jack in the stroller, "Here, Mon. He needs a diaper change, but I'll be off to do pretty much nothing with Joey." "Chandler!" Monica scolded. "Hey, I'm still a rookie in the zone defense, remember?" Chandler defensively stated, reminding her of the time they baby-sat for Frank and Alice's triplets. "Besides, we wouldn't want them finding out any secrets, do we?" Again, he, more than anything, seemed to be reminding Monica of the time he told Owen that there was no Santa Claus or that he had been adopted. "It's not like they'd understand anything right now anyways," Monica scoffed.
"So, have you guys seen Ross?" Chandler asked.
"No," Monica and Joey both answered simultaneously.
"Anyways, do you think can you help us finish packing, Joe?" Monica requested genuinely, trying to change the somber and almost melancholy mood.
"Yeah, I will, but only if you bake those cookies, ooh, a cake. No wait, how about a couple of lasagnas?" Joey giddily replied, barely containing his excitement. "Fine," Monica conveyed drearily, almost reluctant of his response.
As if on cue, Phoebe walked into Central Perk's doors, hearing Monica say, "Pheebs, we need your help packing." Before Monica could even finish, she found herself responding, "Oh, no. Um, Mike and I…" hurry up and find something, Phoebe thought, "Eh, forget it. What time do you need me?" she finished.
XXX
Rachel woke up groggily as the plane touched down onto concrete. Still, thoughts of Ross plagued her mind, particularly in his plea for her to stay. The sincere tone and the sense of finality in his voice and the simplicity of his words reminded her of one night many years ago. It was the night both would never forget where he had barged in at her office bringing couscous, the night before where they'd fought and he'd mentioned she had impulsively called the "break," the night that would send her relationship with Ross spiraling after she'd found out that he'd slept with the stupid Xerox slut, the night she thought would never come – the night they broke up.
That night flashed and the words continually "do you want to fight for us or do you want to bail" echoed in her head. She'd bailed twice.
Fighting back tears, Ross pleaded, "Look, look. There's got to be a way where we could work past this. Okay," clasping onto her left arm and continued "I can't imagine, I can't imagine my life without you," as tears now both started to trickle down their cheeks and splashing onto the ground, "Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your good heart, Rach," as Ross got down on his knees and clinging onto her as if there were no tomorrow, "and, and…"
"No," she replied. "You're a completely different person to me now. I used to think of you as someone who would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just can't stop picturing with her; I can't," as Ross got up from his knees, she finished and emphasizing the last word, "it doesn't matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. It's just changed everything. Forever."
Ross was speechless, as he stood there crying and grasping for breath. The only words he managed to utter, "Yeah, but this can't be it, I mean." There was a thick air of tension and sadness that you could cut with a dull kitchen knife. Gathering her thoughts and becoming more resolved with her decision, she ended things her way, "Then how come it is?" Time stood still as each word passed through her lips.
She had been snapped out of her trance by the flight attendant, "Miss? We're here. Are you okay?" noticing that Rachel had been crying, but not wanting to pry on her personally. "Yeah, I'm fine," Rachel lied as she muttered under her breath "Damn, Ross. Why did things become so complicated?"
As soon as Rachel got off the plane, she headed straight for the restroom with tears escaping her eyes. Dabbing her eyes, she thought of ways to take her mind off him. Shopping was the first thing she thought of. As she walked to baggage claim and carrying the Louis Vuitton luggage they'd provided for her after taking the job, she then thought of her daughter, but still it pained her to know that Emma not being with her father daily. Ross adored Emma, just as much as he loved her.
The whole airport gave Rachel a cold and empty vibe as if it were telling her, "You don't belong here." Nonetheless, she was looking forward to exploring her new home. It still didn't sit right that she'd be calling Paris "home," but that's what living with Monica had been like at first. I'm going to get used to it, she thought positively. Another reason she thought her move was a good one: Monica and Chandler were moving to Westchester, she wasn't going to see them everyday anyways. Phoebe would be "busy" with her marriage to Mike. Joey would still be doing the whole show business thing, hopefully cheering up Ross. Again, her thoughts went back to Ross – no matter how hard she fought it, but she did her best as she struggled to carry her other luggage off the carousel.
Independence. Paris would be the ultimate testament of just how "independent" she'd become over the past ten years. Sure, she was independent in that she didn't live off of and need her father's money anymore, but she still had help along the way from her closest friends.
She saw a chauffeur carrying a placard with her name plastered across it. She walked over to him, and they'd walk to the car. He'd placed her luggage in the trunk, taking her to her brand new fully-furnished apartment where they'd finally arrive. She tipped the driver and thanked him. She walked in. It was beautiful and had almost everything: a gorgeous view of the city, soothing powder blue painted walls, two huge bedrooms for Emma and her – one of which had a balcony to the gorgeous view, furniture decked out with Pottery Barn furnishings which she had specifically requested, and a luxurious bathtub with a built-in Jacuzzi. She knew there was one thing missing, but she didn't want to admit it. When it came to Ross, one of the flaws describing Rachel Karen Green was stubborn, one of the traits she'd inherited from her parents and possibly even Ross. Change of plans to shop, she decided to just take a nap as the jet lag kicked in.
XXX
The longest day of Ross's life had just passed. He had felt guilty about not contacting his sister and friends, but hoped they would understand. "Was it worth getting tenure if it's just going to be like this?" he stressed and seriously contemplated quitting. It was somewhat of a catch-22: lose this great job and go after Rachel or lose the woman he'd loved forever and keep teaching. The latter seemed much more pleasing, but he wasn't even sure if she would want him back. She had turned him down yesterday. Also, he couldn't just leave his family and friends behind. Then, there's the sticky situation with Ben, not wanting to abandon him. Trying to change his mood, he decided to call Monica and ask for her help with all of this.
He dialed her phone number, which someone had picked up. "Hello," a male voice answered. "Chandler? Is Monica there?" he asked. "Yeah, hold on, I'll go get her," Chandler replied. His sister chimed in exhaustedly, "Hey bro, what's up?" "You're not busy, are you? I need someone to talk to and just you," Ross requested, forgetting that she and Chandler had been taking care of Jack and Erica. "Yeah, Chandler finally put the twins down for a nap," Monica stated quite proud of her husband's feat, but added to ask, "Why?" Ross chuckled at the thought and sight of Chandler giving his kids a nap, "Just meet me at Central Perk in about twenty minutes." With that, he hung up the phone.
Ross joked about his brother-in-law, "Man, Chandler has grown up over the last 10 years." He headed out his apartment door for Central Perk. As he walked into the street, he ran into the one woman that had changed and ruined his life in one night, the same woman that if she were a man – Ross would've had already broken the bastard's jaw, the woman he never thought he would have to see again. Of the millions living in New York, he had to run into her. Again, fate was again playing a sick joke on him, like taking Rachel away from him and relocating her in Paris. He pinched himself just to make sure he wasn't dreaming again. He wasn't. The woman may have had a different hair color, but she was still the one woman that he seethed most... well, maybe except for Emily.
The woman announced energetically, "Hey, Ross!"