A Glitch in Time
by Gary D. Snyder
Chapter 20:
The responses from Kim, Shego, and Drakken to Jimmy's pronouncement were nearly simultaneous.
"Come again?" asked Kim.
"Say what?" Shego put in.
"Huh?" grunted Drakken.
"You remember what I told you about those interphases we experienced and how they were with events in the time stream that were unstable because they all involved time travel? Well, we're in one of those unstable events now. If I'm right, we'll be pulled right through the Cindy and Ron's times towards the singularity. Once we're close enough we can communicate with them and have them recall us." Jimmy looked around him. "I just need to round up the parts I need to fix this thing."
"The electronics labs in the engineering building would probably be the best place for electronic components," said Kim. "I can get in and get whatever you need."
"That sounds more along my line of work," Shego observed.
Jimmy shook his head. "It would probably take too long for either of you to identify and locate what I'd need. Plus, I can use one of the lab's workstations to rework the recall device while I'm there, so I'd better do it. I can get in using my watch laser so I shouldn't have any problems." He looked at his watch. "I'd better hurry. If I'm right, we'll be nearing interphase pretty soon."
Neither Kim nor Shego could deny the logic of Jimmy's argument. "So, what do we do while we're waiting?" Shego wanted to know.
"Well, it's a dance. Have fun. But keep an eye on Drakken. And be careful what you do. We don't want to do anything that will disrupt the time stream." Jimmy waded into the mass of dancers and was almost immediately lost to view. As he disappeared the dance song ended – somewhat abruptly, Kim thought. As she overheard the conversation of the band members on the stage above her she began to feel uneasy.
"Dude, I can't believe you did it again!" the keyboardist was saying.
"I thought I had it," the lead guitarist replied in a croaking whisper.
The bassist shook his head angrily. "Just great, man. You do the leads. What are we supposed to do now? You go beyond your range and throw out your voice and it'll take nearly a half hour before you'll get it back again."
"Instrumentals," the keyboardist suggested.
The bass player scoffed. "The whole dance? In case you forgot, we're being paid to sing and play."
"We do what we always do," the lead guitarist whispered. "Open mike, like I told that girl."
"This crowd isn't going to go for that. Not on the third song. And finding someone willing to be the first is always a problem." The keyboardist surveyed the milling crowd. "Whatever we do, though, we'd better do it fast. The natives are going to get restless real quick."
Kim studied the crowd as well and noticed unhappily that her parents-to-be were looking disappointed. If the dance ended now or was a flop the date might still work out all right, but then again… Without a second thought she flipped up onto the stage. "What's the sitch?" she asked,
The musicians stared at her. "Say what?"
"I couldn't help overhearing. You need someone to fill for vocals for a few minutes?"
"Do you sing?" the bassist asked.
"Well," Kim replied modestly, "I've been known to toss off a song or two in my time." She didn't bother to mention that her time was still over twenty years off and that her last public performance in a talent show had lost out to Ron.
The band exchanged skeptical glances, apparently having heard this sort of thing from other amateurs. The bassist shrugged. "Okay. Check over our selections and pick one."
Kim complied, and realized as she leafed through the sheet music that none of the songs were familiar to her. "I'm afraid I don't know any of these," she admitted truthfully, holding the sheaves of sheet music in either hand. "Do you have anything more recent?"
"If any of this stuff were more recent, it'd have to be a manuscript," the keyboardist replied. "What songs do you know?"
Kim started to answer and then realized that the songs she did know were from groups that didn't even exist yet. "Uh…give me a moment," she told the expectant group. She moved to the edge of the stage and crouched down to speak with Shego, who was keeping a close eye on the miserable Drakken. It took three tries to get her attention.
"What?" Shego answered at last.
"Can you play?"
"I'm not sure. Let me ask my mom."
"Get serious!" Kim hissed.
Shego cocked a jaded eye at Kim. "You get serious. What are you talking about?" After hearing Kim's hasty explanation Shego burst into sarcastic laughter. "You have got to be kidding me! You want me to play accompaniment to some Oh Boyz song for you?"
"We've got to do something!" Kim insisted. "And it doesn't have to one of the Oh Boyz songs. I know other songs. Just not…" She waved the sheef of sheet music. "…'80s oldies. Jimmy told us not to mess up the time stream. But if this dance ends now, that could be exactly what happens. We could end up in a world ruled by… Barry Manilow or something."
"What's wrong with Barry Manilow?" demanded Drakken, seeming offended.
Shego regarded Drakken like a bug in her soup. "Okay, that clinches it," she decided. "You need someone on axe, you got it."
"Well, then," Drakken said hopefully, "while you two are busy, I'll just -"
Shego grabbed him by the scruff of the neck. "Oh, no, little boy blue. We're on stage, you're on stage, too."
"But -" he started to protest.
Despite Drakkens' objections he and Shego joined the band on stage. "This is my backup group. They know the songs I know," Kim explained. "She'll will take lead guitar, and her…uh…companion will take the keyboards. All we need is someone to play some basic progressions on bass."
The three musicians passed over Shego's pale green complexion but stared at Drakken's vivid blue cast. "O-ka-a-ay," the bassist finally said. "I guess that will work. Let me give you an intro. What's your group's name?"
"It's…" Kim hesitated. Drakken would be safely in the background but her parents would undoubtedly recognize her and she couldn't use her real name. "How about…the She-go-gos?" she suggested weakly.
"You cannot be serious!" Shego protested. "I have a rep to consider!"
"That's a long ways off," Kim pointed out.
"You'd be surprised how long bad reps last," Shego retorted. She put her foot down. "We are not the She-go-gos."
Kim put her hands on her hips. "Well, you think of something better, then."
"Enough!" Drakken snapped. "We'll be the Drew Man Group."
Both Kim and Shego gawked at this but the bass player shrugged. "Good enough. Get set up." He walked over to the mike while the three unlikely musicians assumed there positions. Only after Drakken settled in did he realize that he didn't know how to play any instrument.
"Shego!" he called softly as the introduction was being made. "What do I do?"
"Oh for the love of…" Shego stalked over, manipulated some switches and knobs on the keyboard, and then pointed to a button. "Just push this thing down and keep it down. You're the rhythm section." She adjusted the knobs on her own instrument, strummed it to check the sound, and nodded to Kim when the sound met her approval. "Whenever you're ready."
"Right." Kim turned to the mike and then turned back. "What are we playing?"
"Bad to the Bone."
"Shego!" Kim glared at her. "It has to be dance music."
"You can dance to it. Besides, the bass player should at least know the chord progression."
"But -"
"Hey, you wanted a lead guitar, then we play this."
Kim rolled her eyes. "Fine. Let's do this."
As the driving bass opening and insistent beat began most of the people on the dance floor looked surprised, but some of the more aggressive dancers began to move in time with the music. To Kim's surprise James Possible and his date were among them. I guess I don't know everything about my parents, she thought in wonder. I wonder what other surprises they have? She began to sing, changing the lyrics somewhat to fit the situation as she went.
On the day she was born
The nurses all gathered round.
They stared in wide wonder
At the girl they had found.
The head nurse spoke up
And said, "Leave that one alone."
She could tell right away
She was bad to the bone.
Bad to the bone.
Bad to the bone.
B-b-b-b-bad to the bone.
B-b-b-b-bad.
B-b-b-b-bad…
Shego immediately got Kim's jibes but didn't seem to care. She actually seemed to enjoy having part of the spotlight and manipulating the instrument she was playing. Drakken was less enthused. He sat behind the keyboard and held down the rhythm generator button as expressions of resignation, boredom, disgust, and frustration crossed his face in turn. As they played the two musicians watched from the wings.
"You know," the keyboardist said after a few minutes, "that gives me an idea."
"What?" his companion whispered.
"Check out that guy on the keyboard."
The guitarist stared at Drakken. "He's just sitting there. Well, he's making faces and stuff, but that's about all."
"Yeah. But maybe we could do something like that. Not sing at all. Just put on some blue make-up like him and play instruments"
The guitar player looked puzzled. "Just play instrumentals?"
"No, no. Play some off-beat stuff. Maybe just percussion, or something. We don't sing, we don't talk, we just do off-the-wall kind of stuff in blue make-up and funky outfits. Avant-garde kind of stuff."
The lead guitarist looked doubtful. "I don't know. It sounds like we'd be like some mutant mimes. No one likes mimes."
"Hey, at least think about it. You wouldn't have to worry about your voice going out during our gigs anymore."
"I guess we could discuss it after the dance." The guitarist rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "A blue man group." He shrugged. "I guess anything is possible."
End of Chapter 21
Author's Notes:
The original lyrics of "Bad to the Bone" are by George Thorogood and are used in this form without permission.
I couldn't help wanting to have a little fun with Jimmy, Kim, Shego, and Drakken being in the past. When I first thought of this in light of the Back to the Future series I wondered how their presence in the past could possibly be instrumental (pun no intended) in bringing about some pop culture phenomenon the way Marty McFly unintentionally started off Chuck Berry's career. The idea of Shego being a rocker appealed to me as well and seemed in keeping with her character. "Bad to the Bone" actually debuted in 1982 and would technically have already been out a year or so in this story, but it sounds exactly like the song she'd want to play even if it is more R&B than classic rock. And I think even Kim, the youngest of the group, would know it, even if it is an "'80s oldie".