Chapter 3

Carmen picked at her food, wondering why she felt that dinner tonight was awkward. No one else even seemed to notice. Christina and Ryan were cooing at each other, too busy to see that Carmen was staring at the single empty chair at the table. Carmen jolted a little when the phone rang, drawing her out of her reverie.

"Can you get that for me, nena?" Christina asked, giving Carmen an apologetic smile. Carmen smiled back, trying to seem upbeat. She hoped it was Win on the phone, she could use a break.

"Hi, Carmen, is Christina there?" Suddenly Carmen realized why dinner was awkward, why she was in such a bad mood.

"I was going to call Win," she said in a completely un-Carmen tone, some part of her feeling guilty for being rude. "But I'll put her on."

Carmen listlessly handed the phone to her mother, wrist so limp that she practically dropped the phone. She automatically moved to take Christina's seat in feeding Ryan, who was smearing the food all over his high chair tray.

She watched Christina's face as she walked out of the room. So it had been a Bad Carmen thing to do, to be rude to David, to be rude to anyone who could put that look on her mother's face. But still, why wasn't he here? Why wasn't he home to put that look on Christina's face in person?

"You've got a pretty awful sister," she told Ryan, who smiled at her and smeared more peas in his hair.

Thank goodness for brothers - Paul, who always listened, never judged, and was a steady, unchanging presence when the rest of the world was topsy-turvy. And Ryan, who also listened (even if he didn't necessarily understand), and also loved Carmen unconditionally.

She gingerly lifted Ryan from his highchair - it was apparent that he wasn't actually going to ingest any more food. She winced as she carried him down the hall towards the bathroom, she could feel the baby food staining her clothes as she started the tub. Sticky was something you had to get used to when you had a baby in the house.

"Nena? I'm off, I didn't want to keep you from calling Win." Christina called a few minutes later, over the sound of Ryan's splashing.

Carmen sighed inwardly - she hadn't actually been planning on calling, but now she'd have to. Not that she didn't love talking to Win, she just felt guilty calling him on the basis of a lie. Maybe she'd call Paul instead, to explain the newest escapade of Bad Carmen. She decided on a compromise as she dialed Win's number.

"Carmen?" She had to smile when she heard his voice. Eager and energetic, and always happy to hear from her.

"Bad Carmen," she corrected him, pressing the power button on her computer with her big toe.

"What happened?" he asked, immediately concerned. "Is everything okay, Carmen?"

"It's fine," she said, launching into the night's story. It wasn't often that Carmen called needing to complain about herself - even Win couldn't withstand playing the role of psychiatrist when he was supposed to be boyfriend. But on the occasions that Carmen needed to be loved, he rose to the occasion admirably.

Thankful that she was able to multitask, Carmen clicked onto her Instant Messanger.

Carmabelle: Paul?

PaulRodman: Hi.

Carmen laughed out loud into the phone - it was so typically Paul, and so desperately what she needed, it made her laugh.

"Carmen?" Win said, sounding confused. She explained and he laughed, too. She loved that about Win - he understood Carmen and accepted her. Ironic, really - the same reason she'd thought she wasn't worthy in the first place was the same reason she loved him more than ever now.

Carmabelle: This is one of those stories where Carmen is bad.

Silence from Paul. She knew he was there, that his silence meant he was ready to listen, a mute approval to go ahead and spill it all out. Win was the opposite, interjecting comments far nicer than she deserved.

She and Win moved on in conversation, he was back at the hospital this summer, and telling her funny stories about the kids in the playroom (where, thankfully, it appeared Katherine would not be spending her summer).

"You should come back to do that penguin voice," he said, lightly teasing her.

She could feel herself blush. "I didn't know you were there!"

PaulRodman: Krista wants to say something.

PaulRodman: Hi, Carmen! Al said you were coming out this summer - I'm so excited! And of course you know who Paul wants to see you br

PaulRodman: Krista had to go.

Carmen laughed - Krista, like Paul, was unchanging, always energetic and perky.AndCarmendid, indeed, know who Paul wanted her to bring, and Lenny'd be there if Carmen had her say in things.

"Carmen, I'm really sorry, but I have to go," Win said apologetically. "Come down to the hospital tomorrow?"

Carmen readily agreed. "But no penguin voices," she said as sternly as she could muster.

He laughed. "No penguin voices."

Tibby walked into the movie theater, looking around for Margaret. She appeared from hallway leading back to the theaters, looking thin, tiny. For an awful moment, Tibby had flashed back, thinking of Bailey.

"Tibby!" Margaret exclaimed, looking thrilled to see her.

"Can I help out with anything?" Tibby asked, feeling awkward, wondering how she was supposed to act. This situation was not for her like it would have been for Lena or Carmeena or Bee - she couldn't come home and pretend nothing was different, not in this way. She couldn't waltz into the theater and be the same Tibby they expected to see, as though she hadn't been gone for a day. She couldn't just pick up a trash bag and wait for the movie to end. Too much had changed - but not enough that asking permission didn't feel odd.

"This is a good one," Margaret said earnestly, jerking her head towards the sign. "Do you want to come back and see it? It's the twelfth time for me." Unlike Tibby, Margaret seemed never to tire of watching the same movie over and over.

Tibby nodded. She had time to catch a movie, and Margaret looked as though she could use the companionship. She trotted into the theater after Margaret just as the lights were dimming. They chose the back row, away from everyone else, where they could lose themselves in the world of the movie.

As Tibby got drawn into the film, she realized that she was gradually losing track of the world around her. No longer did Margaret exist beside her, the only people in the world were the ones on screen, and Tibby watching them. And then Tibby realized that someone else did exist, when she felt a light touch on her right hand. She looked over and saw Brian. Why was he here? How had he known she'd be here?

As the movie continued, Tibby felt vaguely guilty, realizing that now was supposed to be for Margaret, but Tibby liked the fact that Brian had known that she was confused, that she needed someone stable, someone who knew that the world had changed since Tibby had worked at the movie theater, someone who could understand that things weren't the same. So she clung to Brian's hand on one side, and reached for Margaret's on the other. A chain of support, Tibby telling Margaret that even though Margaret lived through her movie stars, lived through the movie plots, to escape from her unchanging life, it was okay, that things would be okay. And Brian telling Tibby that he loved her and was there.

They left the movie as it ended, not saying much, still clinging to the magic. Not the same way it normally is at the theater - clinging to the illusion. Instead, clinging to the emotion that had been able to escape during that short few hours, and the understanding that the three had gained of each other.

"Come back soon, you hear?" Margaret said to Tibby, voice uncertain but brimming with emotion.

Brian had walked to the theater, it was an unspoken agreement that she'd drive him home. But Tibby's hands had a mind of their own, as they steered the car towards their spot, midway between their houses. He sat down on the picnic table and waited, and she knew they were both thinking of a night a year ago when they'd been standing the same way, but in such different circumstances. A mark of the year that had passed.

"Things have changed, haven't they?" Tibby said, voice tremulous. He held out his hands and she went towards him, reaching to him in return. He rested his chin on top of her head.

"Yes."

"But what does that mean?" she asked plaintively.

"Nothing," he said simply. "It means we've grown, it means a year's gone by. It means I love you even more now than I did then."

Tibby was silent, breathing in his scent, face buried in his Old Navy shirt she'd bought ages ago. Hiding from the ever-changing world. He knew love scared her, receiving it and giving it. He knew that when he told her he loved her, he wouldn't get a response.

"Tibbadee?" he said gently. "What are you thinking?"

"I love you, too," she croaked, burying her face even deeper. He stroked her hair and Tibby realized that he, like no one else could, knew what saying that meant for Tibby. He knew that in Tibby's mind, what Tibby loved got taken away. Bailey. Mimi. He understood that saying she loved him meant that she was risking him, that she was willing to risk being hurt for his sake.

"I'm not going anywhere," he told her quietly, and Tibby wholeheartedly believed him. The fear might return later, but he'd promised her, and Brian would never break a promise. He would break the curse, he wouldn't go.

They stood like that for a long time, holding on to each other, and holding on to the one moment where nothing had to change, a moment of perfection. The moment where Tibby had thrown her most naked self into the world, and Brian had accepted her as she was, for who she was. The moment where Tibby had finally broken free of the fear she'd carried, and where Brian had sheltered her in those first few, raw minutes. And the moment where Tibby had learned what it was to be loved and to love without fear.

A/N: Keep going? Yes, no? I think I might anyway, mainly because I'm loving writing this, but hopefully people like it all right.