Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh, FFX, Sailor Moon, NASCAR, amusement parks, KFC, hair dye, or anything else mentioned here that is already owned by someone. I do, however, own Yami's new trump card. It's mine and you can't have it. Sorry for all of you Seymour fans, but he's not in this chapter; there's a reason for it, trust me. However, his name is mentioned, so you can stare at the sentence and fall over happily, drooling and fantasizing about how he would kill you last when he finally purges the world of all living things. Damn, this day is never going to end. As always, read and review.
"What are you doing here?" Amathera asked in surprise, her violet/green/gold eyes widening. She pressed a hand to her rapidly beating heart, reaching out to Lulu with the other. Silently Lulu stepped close, taking the girls hand and placing it over her own heart, staring down at her meaningfully.
The impact was lost on Amathera, who was busy staring at Blythe and exuding an air of superiority, innocence, sparkliness and all-around prettiness that even Yuna could not match. There was even a faint outline of a halo hovering over her shiny silver hair, and if one squinted hard enough, cupids floated cutely around the halo.
Blythe flashed her trademark grin. "Looking for you, of course," she purred sinfully, ignoring the slight flash of fear crossing the girl's features. She took a few steps forward and then suddenly pitched to the ground, yelping in pain. The crowd parted around her, and a small child started giggling.
"Haha, you fell!" the child chortled, pointing a chubby, cheese-stained finger at the fallen girl who was staring down at her stilettos darkly. "Hahahahhhaha!!!!"
Blythe tried to get up, but gave a cry of pain and fell back down. Her leg was bent at an unnatural angle, and she was breathing so heavily that she threatened to pop out of her shirt at any moment. A few males leaned forward expectantly, including the Egyptian, which earned him a smack from Jessica.
"Hahahaha, you broke your leg too!" The child laughed some more and then skipped off, throwing a rather large and expensive machine gun over her shoulder and shooting random passersby as she went. No one noticed, as they were too riveted upon Amathera's perfect face and the expression of shock that lay therein. Or maybe they would just rather eat their cotton candy and poke each other at random than pay attention to the screaming, dying horde of innocent people lying around them, bleeding out their life's essence in the hopes that they would stain some expensive designer clothing before they died.
Seymour would have passed out from sheer delight had he been there. However, he was busy breaking into the school to tear the last chapters out of every book he could find.
Blythe let loose a string of curses that shocked innocent, well-bred Amathera. Silvie looked on dispassionately while Yami tried his best to hide his grin, though Lulu glared at the girl outright. Had she had a tail, she would have been lashing it back and forth.
Getting an idea, Lulu sprouted a tail and lashed it. No one seemed to notice. The laughter increased.
After all, someone tripping over their insanely high heels and breaking their leg is a definite reason to ROFL, which is what one girl was doing right then. She rolled around on the ground like she was on fire, getting dirt and twigs and spilled soda all over her hair and clothes, calling out: "LMF40 0MG R0FL!". Tears trailed down her cheek, leaving strange blue streaks on her pale skin. She unwittingly knocked into another girl, sending her tumbling to the ground in a heap.
"Aurie!!!!!!!!!!!" the girl shrieked, her face turning an impressive shade of purple. She stared down at her now-ruined designer pants, which had a single smudge of dirt running along one side. "These pants cost my daddy $43534626!!!!!!!!!!"
The girl stopped rolling and blinked over at her innocently, doing her best to look harmless. "Wh4t?" she asked, catching an exclamation point and using it to file her nails. "Th4y'r3 jst p4ntz, grrl, ch1ll 0ut."
The girl's face darkened even further as she leapt on her friend, and they vanished into a dust cloud, occasional shouts and cries of pain and triumph escaping.
Everyone edged a little further away from them.
A man pushed through the crowd, tall and lanky with dirty blonde hair and an awkward goatee. He was dressed entirely in red, with a huge number 8 on the back of his jacket and the word "Bud" across the front. Hundreds of drooling fangirls trailed in his wake, professing their undying love for him and his race car and declaring in mind-numbing detail what they wanted to do to him…and his race car.
"Dale Jr.!" Blythe cried, her eyes widening. Her bosom heaved, and one of the men in the crowd passed out, blood training from his nose. A stork let out its mournful cry, spreading its wings and flying away, obviously a lame attempts at some sort of twisted, strange symbolism.
"Who?" Pretty much everybody in the crowd said that; apparently NASCAR isn't too popular in Japan.
Dale Jr. grinned and kneeled down before the fallen girl, talking out of the side of his mouth to the point where almost no one could figure out what he was saying. "Ah've come here ta save ya, blah blah drafting, blah blah Kasey Kahne suxs. We're gunna drive off into tha sunset togetha, yadda yadda, blah blah, points race." Without another word he lifted the girl into his arms and strode away, the fangirls following.
With the distraction suddenly gone, Amathera realized where her hand was, and she turned bright pink. Lulu smiled, leaning down and giving the girl an ample view of her bosom, her tail curling around the girl's waist.
"Win already, so we can move on to…other things," the dark-haired woman purred.
"When did you get a tail?" Amathera blinked prettily.
"Ore no turn!" Yami shrieked suddenly, frothing at the mouth. The attention had strayed off of him for far too long. His pointy, multi-colored hair bristled in annoyance, and his eyes gleamed with insanity, lunacy, madness, and everything else fluffy and good. "Draw!" He glanced at the card he had drawn and threw back his head, laughing maliciously.
The Egyptian frowned. "Damnit, what did he draw?"
"Don't worry, Malik dear," Jessica murmured, gently kissing his neck. "What could possibly defeat a Blue Eyes White Dragon?"
"A God Card."
"He doesn't have three monsters to sacrifice."
Malik looked down at the girl, his lavender eyes piercing. "This is the King of Games we're talking about. He always manages somehow."
"Not this time!" Silvie proclaimed, sticking the lollipop in her sister's hair and giggling. She wasn't giggling, however, when her sister smacked her soundly on the back of the head. "Owwww!"
"Hush up already!" Shimmie said darkly, her eyes narrowing. She glanced askance at Jessica and Malik, and her eyes promised death and torture. For Jessica, anyway; she had other things in mind for the sexy sand leopard.
Yami stopped laughing abruptly as if someone had hit a mute button. However, when he opened his mouth, it became unfortunately apparent that this was not the case. "You will lose before this, my most powerful card, Wife, and then you will face the unrelenting horrors of a Penalty Game!"
"Bawk!" said a Chocobo watching the proceedings.
Yami slammed his card down onto the table almost hard enough to break it. "I sacrifice both of my monsters! Come forth, Gay Pride Kuriboh (6000/10)!"
"K'ri?" The fluffball blinked up at the towering Blue Eyes White Dragon, its multi-colored body shaking. "K'ri!"
Amathera's jaw dropped. 6000 ATK! How could she beat that?
Lulu jabbed her in the side harshly.
Amathera came back to her senses. "Activate Trap Card!"
"What?!" Yami's eyes widened, and Gay Pride Kuriboh squealed in terror.
"Trap Hole!" The Kuriboh vanished. "With this card, if my opponent summons a monster with an attack over 1500, it's automatically destroyed. Which is a shame, since that was a very cute monster."
"Noooooooo!" a boy cried, falling to his knees and weeping delicately. He had black hair and brilliant blue eyes, and was wearing a tuxedo and top hat, a cane resting in one hand. "You…you destroyed my hero!!! I cannot let this go unpunished!" His cane extended ominously.
"Mamoru!" a whiny voice cried. "Don't be such a meanie!" Usagi waddled over, stuffing an entire cake into her mouth as she grabbed the boy's hand and dragged him away.
Amathera practically exploded, rising from her chair and screaming. "RA DAMNIT WHY CAN'T WE JUST FINISH THIS STUPID DUEL IN PEACE?!?!??!??!!?"
The entire crowd silenced. The Chocobo, looking hurt, immediately pulled out a gigantic chaingun about ten times the size of its cute feathered body and set off to annihilate KFC and Boston Market, squawking to itself the entire way.
Touzoku frowned. Ra damnit? Who does she think she is? His crimson eyes widened. Could she be…?
The girl settled back onto the chair, looking composed once more. Her eyes were now as multi-colored as the Kuriboh had been. "Now you have no monsters to defend yourself."
"End turn," Yami growled.
Amathera smiled beautifully, causing an earthquake in Somalia. "Atashi no turn!" she cried, switching to Japanese for no good reason other than to show off her talents. "Draw! I summon Gemini Elf (1900/900) in attack mode! Go, my Blue Eyes White Dragon and my Gemini Elf! Direct attack!"
Yami screamed as his life points were annihilated. "No! This can't be! I have failed you, aibou!"
Amathera squealed and jumped up, grabbing Lulu and performing a victory dance. "I win, I win! Oh my GOD I win!"
Malik stared at Yami, who had fallen to the ground and lay curled up, knees drawn to his chest. The Pharaoh whimpered and muttered incoherently.
"Now I can be Pharaoh!" he declared expansively, drawing Jessica close and kissing her roughly. "M4rr1 m3, m1 luv."
"0h, 1 d0!" she cried, and the crowd applauded.
The man – who still has no name, and undoubtedly cries himself to sleep every night because of his lack of identity – approached Amathera holding the rocket launcher in his grubby hands. "You've earned this," he said gravely as he handed it over, tears spilling down his cheek. He let out a sob, looking like he had just given out his only daughter's hand in marriage to a lunatic who would murder her on her wedding night, and fled.
Amathera held her prize reverently, eyes glazed. "And I know just what to do with this…"