author's notes: SO SO SO SO SO sorry for te extremely long delay, but i've been soooo busy that i didnt actually have time or the opportunity to sit down and write these next 2 chapters! but hopefully i'll have the third one up in a couple of weeks! hope u enjoy and dont 4get to review!
ch15: what are you afraid of?
Rogue walked to her room to get changed, while Remy went to badger the professor into letting the two of them go outside the mansion. Rogue went straight to her closet and surveyed the option of clothing. After the change, Rogue had to go out and buy a few new items of clothing because her original physique was different to Jean's. A couple of things still fit, but her shoe size was now two sizes smaller, and her legs were longer, not to mention that her breasts were now smaller. She picked out her dark green halter and dark blue jeans. She then picked up her new combat boots and headed towards her bed. She then walked up to the mirror and surveyed her hair. She smiled because Jean never would've dyed her red hair dark brown with black underneath. Rogue figured that if they switch back soon, Jean would look less like the annoying cheerleader and more like a normal teenager (according to Rogue). Satisfied with how she looked, Rogue headed down to the Professor's office to see if Remy was still there.
On the way to the Professor's office, Rogue spotted Jean in one of the corridors to Rogue's left. She was still on the floor, sobbing. Rogue didn't know what to do. It was partly her fault that Jean was there, crying on the floor. Rogue wasn't surprised that no one had found her there earlier. That corridor only led to the Danger room and some of the labs, including Hank's.
Rogue took a step to her left, ready to head towards Jean, but she stopped when she heard someone call her name. She turned around and behind her was Kurt and Amanda, hand in hand.
"Oh, hey guys," Rogue replied. She didn't bother hiding her southern accent because she knew Kurt had already told Amanda about the switch. Kurt was lucky to have someone he could trust everything with. "What's up?"
Kurt and Amanda finally reached Rogue. "Vell, a little birdie told us zat you and Remy might be allowed to leave the mansion tonight," Kurt replied.
"Where'd yah hear that?" Rogue replied, a little shocked at how Kurt could possibly know.
"Like I said, a little birdie told us," Kurt smiled coyly.
Rogue crossed her arms and leaned on one leg. "The swamp rat been boasting again?" Rogue got her answer when Kurt gave Rogue a nervous giggle.
Suddenly, Kurt leg go of Amanda's hand and grabbed Rogue by the shoulders. Being in Jean's body, Kurt now had to look up at Jean, instead of being eye level with her, like they used to be. "Please Rogue!" Kurt shook her a little to prove how desperate he was. "You gotta let us come vith you! I'm going insane in here!"
Amanda giggled at Kurt's display. "Yeah. It's a bit of a pain that we can't go out for ice-cream because you guys are grounded."
Kurt let go of Rogue and jokingly pointed a finger at Amanda. "Hey! Ve are not grounded! It doesn't count as grounded 'cause ve didn't do anything wrong," he explained.
Getting back to business, Rogue replied, "Look, ah dunno, Kurt. Remy's tha one talking to tha professor. Have you asked him to vouch for yah?"
Kurt bowed his head low. "Ya. I tried, but Remy vas too busy running to ze professor's office." Kurt then gave a suspicious look towards Rogue. "You two got a hot date or somezing?" Rogue blushed at the question.
Just then, Remy cane strutting down the hallway with a grin on his face. Kurt looked over Jean's shoulder and saw Remy first. "Hey! Did you ask for me?" Kurt called out. Rogue was glad that Remy's arrival meant that she wouldn't have to answer Kurt's questions.
Remy smiled proudly. "Non."
Kurt gave a disappointed look, but Remy was still smiling.
Remy then put a hand on Kurt's shoulder and an arm around Rogue. "Remy asked th' professor if all the senior students get to go out!"
Kurt, Amanda and Rogue stood silently waiting for Remy to explain what the professor said to that. But Remy kept smiling, until Rogue gave him a light elbow in the ribs. "And?" Rogue asked.
Remy's smile only got bigger. "He said yes! Go get ready, Remy gonna take everyone out to party!"
Kurt practically jumped on Remy when he hugged him. After Kurt had detached himself from Remy he gave out a loud "Whoo hoo!" and then ported away. Amanda realised that Kurt had ported away and she crossed her arms in a huff.
Rogue shrugged her shoulders. "He's just excited," Rogue tried to reassure the abandoned girlfriend. No sooner had Rogue finished her sentence, Kurt had ported back then ported away just as quickly, only taking Amanda away with him this time.
Rogue turned to Remy and smiled. "So where we goin'?"
Remy quickly bent down and swooped an arm behind Rogue's knees and the other behind her back and started carrying her down the hallway. "Remy know somewhere dat's fun for everyone," he smiled. Rogue looped her arms behind Remy's neck. As he carried her past the corridor to the left, she'd noticed that Jean had left from her position on the floor.
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Scott sat on the beach. He knew he was at Hawaii because he could see his brother, Havok, surfing. He felt so relaxed, being away from the mansion, the other students, and especially from Jean.
bang bang
'What the hell's that noise?' Scott turned around and behind him he could see in the middle of the beach was his bedroom door.
bang bang
'Why is there a door in the middle of the beach?'
"Scott? Are you in zere?" It was Kurt, and his voice was coming from the other side of the door.
Scott opened his eyes and realised he was dreaming. However, he wasn't dreaming that Kurt was standing outside his room. "Yeah?" Scott said groggily.
The smell of sulphur filled the air as Kurt ported into the room. "Hey! Guess vha-" Kurt stopped talking when he realised that he'd woken up Scott. "Oh, sorry Scott. I didn't know you vere sleeping," Kurt apologised. Scott slowly sat up. He closed his eyes and removed his sunglasses. Kurt braced himself for something to blow up when Scott removed his glasses, but Scott kept his eyes firmly shut as he rubbed his eyes. He then put his sunglasses back on.
"So, what's the big news?" Scott yawned.
"Vell, you better get changed, 'cause Remy got ze professor's permission for all us seniors to leave ze mansion tonight!" Kurt said excitedly. "I've been hanging out for a burger all weekend!"
Scott looked up, shocked. "Remy's back? When did he get back? And how come the professor's letting us go out? Aren't Mystique and the arcolytes going to attack us in about 2 days?"
Kurt shrugged. "Remy just got back. Ze professor filled him in on the last 2 months and apparently ve are all allowed to go out for one night," Kurt smiled. He walked up to Scott and grabbed his hand. He then pulled Scott with so much force that Scott stumbled off the bed and had to run a couple of steps to stop himself from falling face first on the floor.
Scott looked unimpressed. Kurt put his hands on his hips and used his tail to poked Scott in the shoulder. "Vell, you can mope around ze mansion if you vant, but ve are going out and are going to have a great time!" Kurt then hit his watch and turned on his hologram. The blue boy turned into an olive skinned, blue-haired, skater boy. He then turned to Scott and smiled. "See ya later party pooper," The German boy teased. Kurt then made his way towards the door.
Scott thought about it for a moment. He could stay in his room and mope, or he could possibly have a great time with the gang. "Kurt, wait."
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Remy carried Rogue all the way to the boys' dorms. Once they reached Remy's door, he put Rogue down. "Remy need to change, Chere," he explained. Rogue was going to wait outside his room while Remy got changed, but when Remy had entered his room, he left the door wide open, as if he were inviting Rogue to enter.
Rogue took a couple of steps into Remy's room and closed the dor behind her. She hadn't been in his room before when he was changing, so it felt like a new step in their relationship. She walked up to Remy's bed and sat down. The bed creaked a little as she sat on the maroon doona. The bed was still made, as Remy hadn't slept in it since he left for New Orleans. Rogue watched Remy as he moved around the room. He walked to his dresser and picked up a pair of black khakis and then walked to his closet to pick out his deep red shirt.
"So, you gona go like that, Chere?" Remy asked as he looked at Rogue's green halter and jeans. "It's a fancy club," he explained.
"Well.. Maybe ah can put on mah leather pants on instead," Rogue looked up from her clothes to Remy, who was now taking off his black T-shirt. Rogue looked away, at the floor.
Remy saw Rogue look away and smiled. "Remy don't bite, chere." When he saw Rogue shrug at his comment, he playfully threw his black T-shirt at her, hitting her in the face.
"Ah know," Rogue replied, throwing the T-shirt back at Remy. This time she got full view of her boyfriend's upper body. Last time she saw him topless, he'd just finished a danger room session with Logan, two months ago. This time, seeing him topless seemed sexier than the last. Rogue eyed Remy's toned torso, as if trying to memorise every bump and curve. His jeans hung low on the hips, revealing his 'V' and snail trail. Remy couldn't help but smirk when he realised his girlfriend was checking him out. Not one to turn down a good moment, Remy walked up to Rogue and kneeled on the floor between Rogue's legs. He looked up at her and held her hands.
Rogue tried to probe Remy's mind, wondering what he really saw when he looked into her eyes. She was more self-conscious in Jean's body and she didn't want Remy to be turned off by having to look at Jean's face and body every time he wanted to see Rogue. Unfortunately, Remy had his mental shields up and Rogue gave up trying to read his mind.
"Stop thinking about silly things, mon Chere," Remy said, kissing Rogue's hand. Rogue was surprised that he knew she was trying to read his mind.
"Sorry," She blushed.
Remy got off his knees and sat himself down on the bed next to Rogue. Rogue sat speechless as she watched Remy move a stray hair away from her face. His moves were so delicate and soft that it confused Rogue. She wasn't used to this much attention from anyone, not even Remy. He wasn't mucking around anymore. His actions were serious rather than playful.
"Are you afraid of Remy, Chere?" Remy asked out of nowhere.
The question caught Rogue off-guard as she stood up from the bed. But she didn't get far, as Remy pulled her back down, this time on his lap. He wrapped an arm around her thighs and the other rested around her hips. Remy wanted an answer. "No," Rogue replied.
"Then what are you afraid of?" he replied. Rogue thought about it. It was such a broad question, but she knew what Remy meant. She wasn't afraid of him, per se, it was the idea of him, the what if's that would come up if she let her relationship with him pursue further, only to change back within the next couple of days. She was scared that if she dared to let herself get close to Remy, he might leave her when she gets her old powers back.
"Please, Rogue," Remy pleaded. "Remy need to know."
Rogue didn't want to give him an answer. To answer him would be opening up a side of her that she wasn't entirely ready for Remy to see just yet. So, trying anything she could to change the subject, she did the only thing she knew, and that was to lash out.
"Oh, would you cut it with the third person talk!" Rogue yelled. She tried to stand up again, but Remy would let her go. "Let go of me!" Rouge yelled again as she tried to pry Remy's hands off her.
"Why are ya' doin' this?" Remy asked. "Remy only asked you a question."
"Well, ah don't wanna answer it, okay," She replied snidely. She continued to try get Remy's hand off her leg. "Just let me go!"
Then Remy did the last thing she expected him to do. He released his hold on Rogue and grabbed her around the waist instead. Then, standing up, he threw Rogue back onto the bed. "What is your deal!" Remy yelled.
Rogue rolled off the bed and stood on the other side of it, so that the bed was between herself and Remy. "Just leave me alone, alright?" Rogue yelled. Deep down, she hated yelling at the people she cared about, but for her it was a defence mechanism when she didn't want to reveal something about herself. And this time Remy struck a nerve with his question.
"No. Not until ya' tell me what you're afraid of," Remy tried to say in a calm voice.
Rogue glared back at her boyfriend. He was still topless and she cursed herself for staring at his torso again. She could honestly say that she could look at his body all day long, and want to cuddle up to him all day long, and to be able to kiss him whenever she wanted. But she was afraid of what would happen if Hank found a way get her into her own body. Would Remy still want her if he can't touch her? Was Jean right when she said that Remy would eventually get bored of waiting and leave her? It was loneliness that Rogue was afraid of. The fear of being alone for the rest of her life. Even more than that, she was afraid to trust people. To trust Remy. To trust Remy to stay with her and be there for her when she needed. To trust him to not desert her.
Rogue felt tears starting to well up. She tried to cover it up by looking away, but it was too late. Remy saw that she was about to cry. He slowly got on the bed and shuffled closer to Rogue. When he reached the other side of the bed, he stood up and walked over to Rogue. Rogue, too busy trying to hold back her tears, didn't realise that the wall was right behind her, as she backed into it. Now she had nowhere to run and Remy kept walking towards her. Remy frowned at the tears that were now streaming down Rogue's face.
He looked over to his right at his bedside table and grabbed a tissue. He then used it to try wipe away Rogue's tears. "Shhh," Remy soothed. "Remy didn't mean to hurt you," he whispered. Remy kept trying to wipe away Rogue's tears, but more kept coming. After a minute, he gave up and threw the tissue over his shoulder. He then swooped up Rogue in his arms again and turned to lay her on his bed. He then lay down next to her. Rogue lay flat on her back, trying to blink back her tears. Remy grabbed another tissue and handed it to Rogue. He propped his head up with one arm and used his other to rub Rogue's stomach. Rogue thought it was a bit of an unusual thing to do, because it's usually something you'd do on a puppy, but surprisingly, it helped to calm her down.
Rogue felt bad for Remy. He was trying so hard to win her, but she kept pushing the finish line further and further away. "Ahm sorry," she sobbed. "It's just.." Rogue drifted off. She couldn't believe she was going to open up to Remy. But she realised that Remy deserved at least an answer. "It's just.. Ahm afraid of being.. you know.. alone," Rogue replied. Rogue was embarrassed for sharing that little part of herself and she rolled over so that she had her back to Remy.
Remy raised an eyebrow when Rogue rolled over. "But you're not alone. Remy's right here," Remy smiled. He moved his hand to her side and ran his fingers up and down. It made Rogue feel good, but now she had to explain a little more about herself to Remy.
"Yeah, now you're here," she replied, getting a little defensive again. She tried to stop herself before she started another outburst.
Remy's brows furrowed and he removed his hand. This time he put his hand under Rogue's chin and made sure she way paying attention to what he had to say. "Remy ain't going anywhere, Chere. Why you think Remy's gonna go away?"
Rogue looked back at Remy and rolled her eyes. "Why do you always ask so many questions?" Rogue waited for a reply, but Remy just lay there, waiting for Rogue's answer. Rogue sighed and sat up. "Ah don't want you to say you love me now, and then break mah heart when ah get ma powers back 'cause yah get bored with not being able tah touch me," Rogue said quickly. Her eyes widened. She couldn't believe she said it aloud. "This is so stupid" Rogue said to try cover up her fear of what Remy would say. In panic, Rogue shot up off the bed and ran to the door.
Remy was fast on her heels. Rogue reached the door and managed to turn the handle. Just as she pulled it to open it, Remy's hand came crashing down on the door, shutting it again. Rogue turned around to face Remy. She was cornered again, this time between the door and Remy. Rogue crossed her arms and stared off to the side.
"You want to know what Remy afraid of?" Rogue rolled her eyes in response, but Remy continued on anyway. "Remy afraid that Rogue will never love him back the way he love her. You don't have t' worry 'bout Remy ever leaving you, Chere," Remy held Rogue's chin and turned her head so that she was looking right into his demon eyes. "'Cause Remy more afraid that you leave first."
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Scott walked into the kitchen to grab a can of soft drink. After Kurt left his room, Scott had changed into his cream khakis and brown shirt. Kurt told him that the senior students would be meeting at the front door at 9pm. It was 8:45pm and Scott figured that he still had time to get a snack from the kitchen. Scott made a bee-line to the fridge, and didn't even notice that Jean was sitting at the kitchen table.
Jean sat quietly and watched Scott as he grabbed a can of Pepsi. She didn't know what to say to him. She had only just stopped crying half an hour ago, when Kurt came running into her room, asking her to come out with the rest of the senior students. Jean was a bit hesitant about coming out at first, but she felt that she needed to get out of the mansion. She'd planned on ditching the group as soon as they got to wherever Remy was going to take them. Jean sat quietly at the table with her soda can on the table. She didn't dare move, because she was afraid of what would happen. She hadn't quite prepared herself for any awkwardness between herself and Scott.
Scott picked up the Pepsi can and looked up from the fridge. Over the fridge door he noticed Jean at the kitchen table, facing him and sitting as still as a statue.
"Oh! Hi," Scott said nervously. He stood stunned, with the can in one hand and his other hand still holding the fridge door open. Jean sat there, staring at Scott. She didn't know what to say. She was still processing everything Scott had said to her only an hour or so earlier.
Jean got up from her seat, ready to leave the kitchen. Scott closed the fridge door and took a step closer towards Jean. He felt bad for making her cry. He felt he had to say something. "Look, Jean.." He began, but he trailed off because he didn't know what to say. The only thing that could come to his mind was to say that he was sorry.
But before he could say it aloud, Jean raised a hand in a stop motion. "Don't," Jean said. She continued walking to the door. To Scott it still felt weird that he had to look at Rogue whenever he had to talk to Jean. When he looked at the girl leaving the kitchen, he saw Rogue in a brown silk singlet with a denim blazer on top and her black jeans. But without the gothic make-up and with the white streaks died brown, Scott knew it was Jean in there. He still felt mad at what Jean had done, and he wanted to tell her again how he felt. But everything had been said in the danger room.
"I.." Scott mumbled. Jean stopped in the doorway. She placed a hand on the doorframe and looked over her shoulder at Scott, waiting to hear what he'd say next. "I.. hope you come tonight," he mumbled as he leaned back against the fridge. His attempt at peace didn't help.
Jean looked down at her clothes then back at Scott. "I don't dress like this to walk around the mansion," she replied. Her response was void of emotion. Scott felt sad that Jean's usual cheeriness wasn't there. She sounded as if she didn't care anymore. It also made him feel more guilty for yelling at her earlier.
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