How to Make a Human Being

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Author's Notes:

I saw Dennisud's reply to my farewell poem. Thank him for this morsel, because I wouldn't have posted this here if not for his wish to have some more of my writing. Here is the prologue to "How to Make a Human Being." Hopefully in a month or two, after I've gotten my project well underway, I'll return to my writing. Writing is a seasonal thing, if it was something that always came easy, we'd all be Poet Laureates and scribes of considerable acumen. Alas, we must write when the muse is with is, and fade away when the muse is not. Right now, another project beckons me, and I must follow. Until I return...

I hope you enjoy it. Review if you want to see more, review if you don't.

Later,
PitViper

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Title: How to Make a Human Being
Genre: Short Story
Author: PitViper (pvalpha@yahoo.com)
Created: 08/02/02
Rating: PG
Synopsis: Many believe that the character of Rei Ayanami is bound in steel to
her duty – She accepts nothing into her life that is not related to Eva or
angels. This is the story of how a few small changes can make a big difference.

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion, Gainax does. They own the Characters, the world, and the universe that Neon Genesis Evangelion exists in - I don't. Manga and ADV are distrubuting it in the US, and elsewhere most likely, so they own part of it too. The point is - I seek to make no money off of this, it is simply an exploration of the characters Gainax so generously provided. Please don't sue me.

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How to Make a Human Being
Prologue


A Glimpse of the Final Product: August 24th, 2030 - 5:01am.

A young woman tiptoed silently from her bed. Her silence was the necessity of the moment, for she had guests in her house, some of whom were in awe of their temporary hostess. But then, the woman was as in awe of the children as they were of her.

She made it to the bathroom, and quietly turned on the light above the mirror and washbasin. The antique porcelain sink was a gift from an old friend. It was one of the first gifts she had ever received, and she delicately ran her fingers over its smooth white surface. Meanwhile her mind beamed with pride at the object, 'Mine!' The thought was completely out of character for the young woman, but then what was her character? Was she not who she made herself to be? True, she had coveted the sink when she first saw it, she wanted the sink, and the friend had been kind enough to procure the sink for her.

Just as the sink was hers, so was the home she now lived in. It was not ostentatious, it didn't overwhelm the senses or bespeak of excessive luxury. But for the being who called it home, the small house was all she had ever wanted in life – and she required nothing more than to call this place home.

One might think that she was a material woman. But she was not. Yes, she had her favorite things. The sink, the house - a small, silver brush with thin, delicate bristles that smoothed and tamed her wild hair with each comforting stroke – these were the things she valued. All were gifts from others. Even the house was a gift, a gift from a least expected source.

While the woman did not have to work – she still did. In the time that she was not dedicated to her duties, she focused on the house she had come to call a home. She maintained the house in pristine condition. She would vacuum the floors, wash the windows, and clean the kitchen. Once a friend, an individual in that precious circle of souls that surrounded her, said, "Mein Gott, you could eat off the floor!" In her usual way, the woman had responded, "I do not believe so. It would taste like Wax, turpentine, and neoprene if it sat there for very long." A chorus of laughter had erupted from the comment. It was a simple, direct statement of truth. For some reason, they always found such comments to be 'funny' coming from her.

The small things hadn't changed about her. She would still go through a morning routine. She would still wake at five am, and tiptoe to her bathroom – even though her floor was no longer cold. She would still stand before the mirror, and reiterate to herself who she was. She had done it every morning for the past 23 years; she would do it yet again this morning.

The woman stared into the mirror, and brushed a stray lock of hair from her eyes. 'Red eyes. Red - the color of blood. The color I hate.' The blue haired woman thought as she idly fingered a long strand of hair. 'I must get a haircut.' She reminded herself as she prepared to begin her morning ritual. "I am Rei Ayanami. I am Pilot of Unit 00. I am I." Rei Ayanami's voice never rose above a whisper, but one person, waiting right outside the room in the shadows, heard her soft tone, and remembered days far distant and different from these. Some things may change, but for Rei Ayanami, some things would never change…

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To Begin With…: September 13th, 2015 - 5:01am.

A young girl tiptoed across a dirty floor, making her way to the bathroom. She hissed slightly with every step, the icy coldness of the floor adhering to her feet as she moved through the equally frigid air. It was no surprise when she turned on the light in the bathroom – the face in the mirror was the one she expected to see.

"I am Rei Ayanami. I am I." She said to herself. She didn't bother to move the stray locks of hair from before her eyes. Soon she would bathe, and then she would trim the edges of her bangs to ensure that her hair was not an obstacle while she was in Evangelion.

She turned on the water to her shower. The liquid was even colder than the air and the floor. But it did not matter to the young blue-haired girl. Water was water. She would clean herself, the temperature did not matter.

She stepped into the shower, a slight look of displeasure crossing her face for the briefest of moments, before her normal mask of apathy slammed down with frightening force.

Yes the water was cold. But the ice in her heart was more frigid than the water. She had long since given up any hope of finding something to fill this gnawing need – she had grown accustomed to staring into this empty maw, this abyss that was her soul. She was comforted sometimes because she felt that the abyss would stare back once in a while. At least that was something.

So the cold of the water was quickly forgotten. As were the many other things that might normally concern a child of her age. Instead, thoughts that concerned the Child flowed through her head - especially the thoughts that concerned the First Child.

Rei remembered Commander Gendo Ikari's words from the previous day…

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Gendo approached slowly as Rei stood before Eva Unit 00. Rei was just finishing her final inspection of the activation plug, and was analyzing the termination plug when the commander had approached her. She had turned upon sensing his presence, and smiled slightly.

"Tomorrow there will be a synchronization test for the dummy system, Rei."

The blue haired child responded with an unusually energetic: "Yes. Doctor Akagi informed me, sir." A soft smile etched itself upon her lips as she spoke with him.

Gendo nodded in approval before he replied, "Be prepared, Rei. I wish to see you at Oh-Six-Thirty at the Main gate. We will eat breakfast since we will not be able to attend dinner."

Rei's apparent delight increased, "Yes sir."

"You are doing very well, Rei. I am proud of you." Commander Ikari had said.

Joy – "Yes Sir."

"You will not attend school tomorrow, Rei." Gendo said.

A blink, then another, before the usual smile she accorded her guardian came to her face, "Yes Sir." She would not see Ikari-kun.

"There will be an Eva synchronization test at nineteen hundred thirty tonight. That is part of the reason we shall not have dinner."

Smile - She would see Ikari-kun. "Yes sir."

Gendo smiled as well, "Is there anything that you'd like to speak with me about, Rei?"

"No sir." Rei replied, her smile vanishing. The conversation was over.

"Very well, Rei. Good night."

Rei nodded once before replying, "Yes sir."

-

Rei dried quickly, absently dropping the spent towel upon the dirty floor. Her feet, now fully accustomed to the temperature, glided smoothly from step to step as she made her way to the dresser. She absently plucked a loose bra from the partially open drawer, and quickly placed it on. Within moments, the panties, shirt, skirt and the rest of her school uniform were completely adorning her frame. She finished by quickly tying the small red ribbon about her neck, and grabbed her bag.

Without a second thought the First Child strode from her apartment, not even bothering to make sure that the door had shut. She made her way to the stairwell, and down the steps. As she walked, she anticipated the day's events in her mind.

'First there will be breakfast with Commander Ikari. I do feel something when I am with him. He had told me that such feelings are happiness. Since one smiles when they are happy or joyous, then I smile for the commander – because he ordered me to smile when I feel these things in his presence. When he returns the smile, I feel… even more. What is this feeling?' She thought as she made her way through the derelict apartment building.

'What I feel with the commander is not the same as what I felt with Ikari-kun. Ikari-kun is different. When he asked me to smile, it was as though it was something that I didn't have to do. Smiling was not an order, but a request. But it is polite to accommodate the request of an equal. And Ikari-kun is my equal. He is an Evangelion pilot. Therefore he is my coworker… No.' Rei paused for a moment as she was about to pass into the street. 'Ikari-kun is more.' She felt satisfied with that answer. She stepped into the brisk pre-dawn air, and began her walk down the broken pavement path. It was five thirty in the morning, and the insects still made their noises in the few 'green' spaces Tokyo III had to offer.

'Today I will synchronize with the dummy system. That is a part of my duty. It is expected that I will achieve 100% synchronization - nothing less, nothing more. It is expected that I pilot Eva efficiently; Forty Two percent is required for effective Eva synchronization. When I have my test this evening, forty two percent shall be the synchronization ratio I have with Unit 00.' Rei's walk continued automatically as she made her way to the NERV access point.

'I shall achieve my goals. I am to eat with the Commander. I am to synchronize with the dummy system. I am to synchronize with the Eva. That is my goal for today.' Rei thought, 'Nothing shall come between me and my perceived goal. I shall achieve…' Rei's foot paused five centimeters above the ground. The entire motion of her body – every thought process stopped as she froze in mid-motion. Rei blinked several times in apparent shock. Slowly she directed her vision downward to her left foot, which was hovering in mid air. She slowly moved her foot about ten centimeters to the left, revealing the reason she had paused in bringing down her foot.

A black ant was struggling on the ground - its jaws firmly grappling a large leaf from a nearby oak. The ant didn't catch her attention; the large leaf moving of its own accord had made her stop. She watched as the ant made its way slowly, millimeter by millimeter towards a small pile of sand in the dirt about a meter away.

Had the leaf not been there to point out the existence of the ant, then Rei would have simply stepped on it. 'But why was that significant? What possible significance could stepping on an ant have? There were billions of ants in the nearby area. And when one looked at the larger picture, there were billions upon billions in the country. The life of one ant had no effect on the continuation of the whole, did it?'

Rei put her foot down, missing the ant and the leaf by millimeters as she continued her journey. The ant, not having realized the significance of its role to the future of humanity, simply continued to drag the leaf back to the mound – performing its duty as expected. Rei however, contemplated the significance of one ant for the rest of the day…

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Author Notes:

Well, here's the beginning of this story. I hope you are pleasantly intrigued. It will be a while before I am able to continue it, but I do have plans... and plans within plans. :D I hope you'll review this so I can see whether or not it's worthy of continuing for public posting :D

Thanks to Alnilam for reading through this and pointing out my flaws. Being the far from perfect individual I am, I have a great many flaws. So my sincerest thanks to her for reading through this gibberish I call writing.

Thanks,
PitViper. (pvalpha@yahoo.com)