Hey everyone! Yup *nods* I'm finally updating! Hehe. *runs away from angry
reviewers who have been waiting forever for Litzy to update* well, I
updated faster than last time! Ack~ it could have been much faster, because
I had this chappie all typed out and everything by last week (can you
believe it?) but I couldn't get onto the computer. . . lol. .
Oh and MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! Consider this my Christmas present to you all! :o) ho ho ho. . . hehe
Anyway, I'm really sorry if all I write is 'thanks for your review' but I don't have much time right now. . . but thanks again to everyone who updated- I really really appreciated it! :o)
Killslay: thanks for your review! And sorry- I'm dumb- but what does canon mean? And OMG I was bored the other day and I was reading through past reviews, and you said in your review for chapter 14 that you were starting the Silmarillion!!! Hehe sorry I just started it. . . is it good? my cousin wouldn't stop pestering me to read it (she's another LotR addict). . . hehe.
Lillia E: whoa~ four reviews!!! Thank you sooo much! Aww I made you cry? I'm so sorry! *hands over a tissue* and OMG your last review made me feel SO guilty! I almost immediately grabbed a piece of paper and started scribbling- hehe. lol I just got your fourth review as I finished up writing this- as to your question, no I'm not American, but yes I'm on Christmas break. . . BUT MY SCHOOL GIVES US MIDTERMS RIGHT AFTER THE 2 WEEK BREAK!!!!!! Yes I'm complaining again. . . but it SUCKS!!! LoL.
Ami: hehe I'll try my best to update sooner in future, but no promises! And thanks for your review :o)
SharpShooter626: thank you so much for your review!
Sodapop'll-be-mine: *gasp* three reviews! You are soo nice!
Gemma: thanks for the compliment!
Trinity Star and her Muses: ouch! Four schoolbooks?! AND a skateboard? That sounds painful. . . *pats Trinity Star on the head* you poor thing!
Porcelain Princess: hehehe yes fanfiction is far too addictive! It should be illegal! Aah! *runs away from other fanfiction-addicts*
Two-BitGortez: thanks for reviewing!
Elsie: yes they must! I hope you like this chappie too!
Aquarius: lol I agree- and I'll try! I promise!
Kaye: thanks so much for your review!
Lin3: WHAT?!?!? NO! YOU HAVE TO FINISH YOUR STORY! YOU MUST! Sorry lol I'm yelling but you HAVE TO!!!!!!! hehe. thanks for the review. And you'd better finish your story! It's awesome! :o)
Pony's girl: lol yet another Kevin hater! hehe. thanks so much for reviewing!
Wanda: thanks for reviewing!
Hell-Flame-Narf: LOL that review was hilarious, hehehehehe rotfl! *Litzy kicks david in the head* *david starts crying* *Litzy does the evil laugh MUAHAHHAHHAA* david: now why did you do that? Litzy: cuz I'm evil! MUAHAHHAHAHAHA! David runs away. LOL sorry.
Joce: hehe- your review made me laugh- YAY lets all kill Kevin!!! That evil s.o.b!!!.
Pigtailed Goth: lol- halfway to 30? I never thought of that! I can't imagine myself 30. . . hehehe.
Mickey4U: thanks for your review!
Mona: no! don't die!! *Litzy quickly writes next chapter* hehehe. and don't worry, I wasn't planning writing any more about Sandy- I'm not that interested in her either! Hehe. SODA'S MIIIINEE!!!! J/k j/k.
PonysGirl2: thanks for your review!
Curtis4ever: thanks for reviewing!
CrazeLilDreamer: don't cry! Aww *Litzy hands over another tissue* hm. . . I'm beginning to run out, hehe.
Drea: thanks for reviewing!
Latinagal: I know, hehe. whoa~ many Kevin-haters by now lol! Anyway, thanks for reviewing!
Gothic crow: cool! You speak German? MEE TOOO!!! Hehe well, my German really sucks. . . I learned it for 7 years but I haven't spoken it for 4 years now so. . . yea hehe. thanks for your review! (and don't worry- your English is great! :o) )
Ponyboysgirl1: lol yes I wish Kevin would die too. . . *hits Kevin on the head with a golf bat* lol.
CHAPTER 18 (aka Litzy's sadistic Curtis-torturing. . .- LOL sorry will shut up now)
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~
I woke up early, not being able to sleep too well the night before. Turning my head, I looked over at my younger brother. Pony was slightly curled up next to me, and although he was asleep he still had a slightly troubled look on his face. That tension that he could not escape from even in slumber. I felt that burst of anger that had exploded in me last night rise up dangerously again. For the first time in my life I seriously wanted to hurt someone. I wanted to hurt Kevin badly. I wanted to kill him. How DARE he hurt my kid brother?
But again I pushed those feelings away. Pony came first. And I knew he needed me. I won't leave you honey, I promised silently, reaching out to brush a few strands of pony's hair from his face. I love you.
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~
I lay in bed, staring up at the blank white ceiling. I hadn't gotten any sleep at all last night. Why did I let them take him from me? Why? I asked myself for the thousandth time. I could have done something. I didn't know what, but I knew I should have been able to stop what had happened to Pony. It was my duty to protect my brothers. Why hadn't I been able to this time? What had I done wrong?
I checked the time. It was half past four. Sighing, I sat up, pushing away my blanket. I was exhausted from my sleepless night, but I knew I wouldn't be getting any rest, however long I lay in bed. I shivered a little as the cold air hit me and grabbed a sweatshirt, throwing it on. I got out of my bedroom and padded down the hallway softly, pausing as my hand tentatively touched the handle to my brother's room. Did I dare face my brothers after I had let them down so badly?
After a moment, I gathered up my courage and turned the handle, opening the door slowly so as to not disturb my sleeping brothers. Soda was sitting up in bed, and looked up when I walked in. He gave me a small smile.
"Mornin' Dar," he said softly, careful not to wake Pony.
"How is he?" I murmured, indicating my youngest brother. Soda sighed.
"Not too good, Darry. I think his temperature went up in the night; he's burnin' up. I didn't want to wake him up yet though."
I looked at Pony's flushed face, reaching over to feel his forehead to confirm Soda's suspicions. I berated myself inside; I knew he had been running a slight fever last night. Why hadn't I given him something for it then, before it had had a chance to get worse?
"Don't blame yourself, Darry."
I jumped slightly at Soda's soft voice, and looked down at him, finding it more than a little hard to meet his probing gaze. For a second I thought of denying it, but I knew I could never hide anything from Soda. Nobody could.
"This is all my fault," I said miserably, sinking into a chair.
"No, it's not," said Soda softly. "You tried your best, Dar. Pony knows it, and he doesn't blame you either. None of us do."
I gave him a small grin. The words were comforting, and I wished I believed them.
"Thanks, Sodapop," I whispered.
"Think on it," Soda said, reaching out to touch my arm. "And don't eat yourself up about it. Pony needs you, as much as he needs me."
I nodded. "Try to get some sleep, Soda. I'll go and clean up the house a little."
"Okay. Call me if you need any help," replied Soda, agreeing easily and slipping back under the blanket.
"And call me if Pony wakes up," I said, as I shut the door.
I closed my eyes, leaning against the wall for a second as soon as I shut the door. What if Soda was right? What if Pony really didn't blame me? But my anguished memories countered my hopeful thoughts. Pony hadn't returned my hug at the airport. He'd turned away from me. I could almost see his wide, fear-filled eyes. Eyes that begged me not to get closer, not to hurt him. And I had hurt him. Sure, it was Kevin delivering the beatings, but who was the one who had sent him into that hellhole in the first place? I shoved my thoughts out of the way for a while, and walked into the kitchen. Seeing the pile of dirty dishes I had left in the sink the night before, I almost gladly picked up the first plate, scrubbing it clean with warm soapy water. I sighed softly as the sound of running water and the steady scrubbing of the dishes blissfully emptied out all my thoughts, providing me temporary relief from the self-blame and guilt that had been clawing at me for so long.
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~
I woke up, but kept my eyes closed, eager to stay awhile in the wonderful dream I'd had. The first good dream I'd had for a long time. In my dream, I had escaped Kevin and was back in Tulsa with my brothers. I relaxed slightly under the covers, indulging myself.
Suddenly I heard the door slam loudly and my eyes snapped open. I tried sitting up, but I felt too sick and weak to. Just as the all-too familiar panic gripped me, almost mobilizing me with fear, a hand touched my shoulder gently and I found myself staring into a pair of gentle brown eyes.
"It's okay, Ponyboy," Soda soothed, his voice almost immediately calming me down. "You're back in Tulsa now, and I won't let anyone hurt you okay, baby?"
Still breathing a little faster than normal from my initial panic, I nodded and snuggled nearer to him, feeling warm and safe in his protection.
"Go back to sleep, Pony," I heard Soda say. I closed my eyes again, not arguing. I couldn't have kept them open much longer anyway; the room seemed to be spinning around uncomfortably and I felt awfully dizzy. The unrelenting pain in my back didn't help matters at all. I was aware of my dry throat begging for water but I didn't have the strength to voice my request. I fell back asleep almost the second my eyes closed.
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~
I jumped at the sound of the door being slammed and turned away from the sink to glare at a grinning Two-bit.
"Did you have to slam the door that loudly?" I growled.
Two-bit's wide grin withered a little under my glare. He must have been surprised; I had never yelled at him about his frequent door slamming before.
"Uh. . . sorry Darry," he said finally, backing into Steve. I ignored them both and ran back into Pony's room, opening the door quietly.
"He woke up a few seconds ago when the door slammed," said Soda before I asked. "Is there any Panadol in the house? He didn't look too good."
"I'll go and get some," I replied. "Wake Pony up."
When I got back, I found Soda trying to wake a very groggy Ponyboy.
"Come on honey. Just open your eyes a while. . ." Soda begged. He finally got Pony to sit up in bed. Pony rubbed his eyes sleepily.
"I don't feel so good Soda," he mumbled.
"I know baby, I know," Soda soothed. "Just swallow this down okay? Then you can go back to sleep."
I handed Soda the Panadol and a glass of warm water.
"Soda. . ." said Pony suddenly. "I think I'm gonna be sick. . ."
It took me a moment to understand what he meant. Quickly, I grabbed the nearest thing to me, the trash can, just as Pony retched.
When he was finished, he leaned back on the bed. He was awfully pale. After a few minutes of coaxing, Soda got Pony to swallow the Panadol and drink a little water. I watched as Soda tucked an exhausted Pony back under the covers.
I heard a slight sound behind me and turned around to see Two-bit and Steve peeking in through the open door.
"Is the kid okay?" asked Two-bit.
I looked over at Soda questioningly. I knew he understood Pony the best of all of us, and he would know what Pony wanted. After a second, Soda nodded.
"Just tell them, Dar."
I sighed but acquiesced, leading Two-bit and Steve out of the bedroom and into the living room. Drawing a deep breath, I started.
The words came haltingly and it was difficult to start, but I forced myself to keep going. I watched Two-bit's normally dancing gray eyes turned stormy as I spoke.
There was a long silence after I had finished and my words seemed to echo around us, not allowing any escape from the harsh reality of what had happened. Then suddenly, without a word, Steve sprang up and ran out of the house, slamming the door behind him, leaving me and Two-bit sitting on the sofa, dumbfounded.
~*~STEVE'S POV~*~
My breath came in short gasps as I tore through the streets. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't know when I'd stop. Maybe I'd never stop. Maybe I'd just keep running away. Memories flashed through my mind and I quickened my pace, trying to leave those behind. But I couldn't stop them from coming.
I remembered myself shoving a ten-year-old Ponyboy out of the way. I remembered the time I had accidentally-on-purpose knocked the birthday cake onto the floor at his twelfth birthday party. I remembered how I had hissed, "Don't be such a sniveling crybaby" at Pony's parents funeral. I remembered all the times I had wished Pony would just die and stop tagging along with us and stealing all of Soda's attention.
But I hadn't wanted THIS to happen to him. God Almighty, I would never wish anything like that to happen to any kid, let alone a friend.
I stopped suddenly and leaned on a streetlamp, closing my eyes as more painful memories resurfaced. I could see my drunken father, yelling at a much younger me cowering in the corner.
YOU WORTHLESS SON OF A BITCH! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE IN THIS HOUSE! GET THE FUCK OUT! GET OUT!
I flinched involuntarily as each word hit me like a sharp stone. I put a hand to my cheek and was shocked to find a tear running down it. I hadn't cried in years. Hell, I didn't know I even remembered how to cry. I wiped the tear off my face and stared at my hand for a second. The single tear ran down my finger in a tiny rivulet, a tiny reminder of my past. After a second I tore my eyes off it and brushed it off on my jacket.
I'd make it up to Pony somehow.
Well, that's it for today!
Merry Christmas again! I hope you enjoy your holiday unlike me; I'm doomed to spend the rest of the hols chained to my chair and locked in my room, studying for midterms. . . *sob* lol yes I absolutely love complaining, whining, etc. hehehe.
Oh and MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! Consider this my Christmas present to you all! :o) ho ho ho. . . hehe
Anyway, I'm really sorry if all I write is 'thanks for your review' but I don't have much time right now. . . but thanks again to everyone who updated- I really really appreciated it! :o)
Killslay: thanks for your review! And sorry- I'm dumb- but what does canon mean? And OMG I was bored the other day and I was reading through past reviews, and you said in your review for chapter 14 that you were starting the Silmarillion!!! Hehe sorry I just started it. . . is it good? my cousin wouldn't stop pestering me to read it (she's another LotR addict). . . hehe.
Lillia E: whoa~ four reviews!!! Thank you sooo much! Aww I made you cry? I'm so sorry! *hands over a tissue* and OMG your last review made me feel SO guilty! I almost immediately grabbed a piece of paper and started scribbling- hehe. lol I just got your fourth review as I finished up writing this- as to your question, no I'm not American, but yes I'm on Christmas break. . . BUT MY SCHOOL GIVES US MIDTERMS RIGHT AFTER THE 2 WEEK BREAK!!!!!! Yes I'm complaining again. . . but it SUCKS!!! LoL.
Ami: hehe I'll try my best to update sooner in future, but no promises! And thanks for your review :o)
SharpShooter626: thank you so much for your review!
Sodapop'll-be-mine: *gasp* three reviews! You are soo nice!
Gemma: thanks for the compliment!
Trinity Star and her Muses: ouch! Four schoolbooks?! AND a skateboard? That sounds painful. . . *pats Trinity Star on the head* you poor thing!
Porcelain Princess: hehehe yes fanfiction is far too addictive! It should be illegal! Aah! *runs away from other fanfiction-addicts*
Two-BitGortez: thanks for reviewing!
Elsie: yes they must! I hope you like this chappie too!
Aquarius: lol I agree- and I'll try! I promise!
Kaye: thanks so much for your review!
Lin3: WHAT?!?!? NO! YOU HAVE TO FINISH YOUR STORY! YOU MUST! Sorry lol I'm yelling but you HAVE TO!!!!!!! hehe. thanks for the review. And you'd better finish your story! It's awesome! :o)
Pony's girl: lol yet another Kevin hater! hehe. thanks so much for reviewing!
Wanda: thanks for reviewing!
Hell-Flame-Narf: LOL that review was hilarious, hehehehehe rotfl! *Litzy kicks david in the head* *david starts crying* *Litzy does the evil laugh MUAHAHHAHHAA* david: now why did you do that? Litzy: cuz I'm evil! MUAHAHHAHAHAHA! David runs away. LOL sorry.
Joce: hehe- your review made me laugh- YAY lets all kill Kevin!!! That evil s.o.b!!!.
Pigtailed Goth: lol- halfway to 30? I never thought of that! I can't imagine myself 30. . . hehehe.
Mickey4U: thanks for your review!
Mona: no! don't die!! *Litzy quickly writes next chapter* hehehe. and don't worry, I wasn't planning writing any more about Sandy- I'm not that interested in her either! Hehe. SODA'S MIIIINEE!!!! J/k j/k.
PonysGirl2: thanks for your review!
Curtis4ever: thanks for reviewing!
CrazeLilDreamer: don't cry! Aww *Litzy hands over another tissue* hm. . . I'm beginning to run out, hehe.
Drea: thanks for reviewing!
Latinagal: I know, hehe. whoa~ many Kevin-haters by now lol! Anyway, thanks for reviewing!
Gothic crow: cool! You speak German? MEE TOOO!!! Hehe well, my German really sucks. . . I learned it for 7 years but I haven't spoken it for 4 years now so. . . yea hehe. thanks for your review! (and don't worry- your English is great! :o) )
Ponyboysgirl1: lol yes I wish Kevin would die too. . . *hits Kevin on the head with a golf bat* lol.
CHAPTER 18 (aka Litzy's sadistic Curtis-torturing. . .- LOL sorry will shut up now)
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~
I woke up early, not being able to sleep too well the night before. Turning my head, I looked over at my younger brother. Pony was slightly curled up next to me, and although he was asleep he still had a slightly troubled look on his face. That tension that he could not escape from even in slumber. I felt that burst of anger that had exploded in me last night rise up dangerously again. For the first time in my life I seriously wanted to hurt someone. I wanted to hurt Kevin badly. I wanted to kill him. How DARE he hurt my kid brother?
But again I pushed those feelings away. Pony came first. And I knew he needed me. I won't leave you honey, I promised silently, reaching out to brush a few strands of pony's hair from his face. I love you.
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~
I lay in bed, staring up at the blank white ceiling. I hadn't gotten any sleep at all last night. Why did I let them take him from me? Why? I asked myself for the thousandth time. I could have done something. I didn't know what, but I knew I should have been able to stop what had happened to Pony. It was my duty to protect my brothers. Why hadn't I been able to this time? What had I done wrong?
I checked the time. It was half past four. Sighing, I sat up, pushing away my blanket. I was exhausted from my sleepless night, but I knew I wouldn't be getting any rest, however long I lay in bed. I shivered a little as the cold air hit me and grabbed a sweatshirt, throwing it on. I got out of my bedroom and padded down the hallway softly, pausing as my hand tentatively touched the handle to my brother's room. Did I dare face my brothers after I had let them down so badly?
After a moment, I gathered up my courage and turned the handle, opening the door slowly so as to not disturb my sleeping brothers. Soda was sitting up in bed, and looked up when I walked in. He gave me a small smile.
"Mornin' Dar," he said softly, careful not to wake Pony.
"How is he?" I murmured, indicating my youngest brother. Soda sighed.
"Not too good, Darry. I think his temperature went up in the night; he's burnin' up. I didn't want to wake him up yet though."
I looked at Pony's flushed face, reaching over to feel his forehead to confirm Soda's suspicions. I berated myself inside; I knew he had been running a slight fever last night. Why hadn't I given him something for it then, before it had had a chance to get worse?
"Don't blame yourself, Darry."
I jumped slightly at Soda's soft voice, and looked down at him, finding it more than a little hard to meet his probing gaze. For a second I thought of denying it, but I knew I could never hide anything from Soda. Nobody could.
"This is all my fault," I said miserably, sinking into a chair.
"No, it's not," said Soda softly. "You tried your best, Dar. Pony knows it, and he doesn't blame you either. None of us do."
I gave him a small grin. The words were comforting, and I wished I believed them.
"Thanks, Sodapop," I whispered.
"Think on it," Soda said, reaching out to touch my arm. "And don't eat yourself up about it. Pony needs you, as much as he needs me."
I nodded. "Try to get some sleep, Soda. I'll go and clean up the house a little."
"Okay. Call me if you need any help," replied Soda, agreeing easily and slipping back under the blanket.
"And call me if Pony wakes up," I said, as I shut the door.
I closed my eyes, leaning against the wall for a second as soon as I shut the door. What if Soda was right? What if Pony really didn't blame me? But my anguished memories countered my hopeful thoughts. Pony hadn't returned my hug at the airport. He'd turned away from me. I could almost see his wide, fear-filled eyes. Eyes that begged me not to get closer, not to hurt him. And I had hurt him. Sure, it was Kevin delivering the beatings, but who was the one who had sent him into that hellhole in the first place? I shoved my thoughts out of the way for a while, and walked into the kitchen. Seeing the pile of dirty dishes I had left in the sink the night before, I almost gladly picked up the first plate, scrubbing it clean with warm soapy water. I sighed softly as the sound of running water and the steady scrubbing of the dishes blissfully emptied out all my thoughts, providing me temporary relief from the self-blame and guilt that had been clawing at me for so long.
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~
I woke up, but kept my eyes closed, eager to stay awhile in the wonderful dream I'd had. The first good dream I'd had for a long time. In my dream, I had escaped Kevin and was back in Tulsa with my brothers. I relaxed slightly under the covers, indulging myself.
Suddenly I heard the door slam loudly and my eyes snapped open. I tried sitting up, but I felt too sick and weak to. Just as the all-too familiar panic gripped me, almost mobilizing me with fear, a hand touched my shoulder gently and I found myself staring into a pair of gentle brown eyes.
"It's okay, Ponyboy," Soda soothed, his voice almost immediately calming me down. "You're back in Tulsa now, and I won't let anyone hurt you okay, baby?"
Still breathing a little faster than normal from my initial panic, I nodded and snuggled nearer to him, feeling warm and safe in his protection.
"Go back to sleep, Pony," I heard Soda say. I closed my eyes again, not arguing. I couldn't have kept them open much longer anyway; the room seemed to be spinning around uncomfortably and I felt awfully dizzy. The unrelenting pain in my back didn't help matters at all. I was aware of my dry throat begging for water but I didn't have the strength to voice my request. I fell back asleep almost the second my eyes closed.
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~
I jumped at the sound of the door being slammed and turned away from the sink to glare at a grinning Two-bit.
"Did you have to slam the door that loudly?" I growled.
Two-bit's wide grin withered a little under my glare. He must have been surprised; I had never yelled at him about his frequent door slamming before.
"Uh. . . sorry Darry," he said finally, backing into Steve. I ignored them both and ran back into Pony's room, opening the door quietly.
"He woke up a few seconds ago when the door slammed," said Soda before I asked. "Is there any Panadol in the house? He didn't look too good."
"I'll go and get some," I replied. "Wake Pony up."
When I got back, I found Soda trying to wake a very groggy Ponyboy.
"Come on honey. Just open your eyes a while. . ." Soda begged. He finally got Pony to sit up in bed. Pony rubbed his eyes sleepily.
"I don't feel so good Soda," he mumbled.
"I know baby, I know," Soda soothed. "Just swallow this down okay? Then you can go back to sleep."
I handed Soda the Panadol and a glass of warm water.
"Soda. . ." said Pony suddenly. "I think I'm gonna be sick. . ."
It took me a moment to understand what he meant. Quickly, I grabbed the nearest thing to me, the trash can, just as Pony retched.
When he was finished, he leaned back on the bed. He was awfully pale. After a few minutes of coaxing, Soda got Pony to swallow the Panadol and drink a little water. I watched as Soda tucked an exhausted Pony back under the covers.
I heard a slight sound behind me and turned around to see Two-bit and Steve peeking in through the open door.
"Is the kid okay?" asked Two-bit.
I looked over at Soda questioningly. I knew he understood Pony the best of all of us, and he would know what Pony wanted. After a second, Soda nodded.
"Just tell them, Dar."
I sighed but acquiesced, leading Two-bit and Steve out of the bedroom and into the living room. Drawing a deep breath, I started.
The words came haltingly and it was difficult to start, but I forced myself to keep going. I watched Two-bit's normally dancing gray eyes turned stormy as I spoke.
There was a long silence after I had finished and my words seemed to echo around us, not allowing any escape from the harsh reality of what had happened. Then suddenly, without a word, Steve sprang up and ran out of the house, slamming the door behind him, leaving me and Two-bit sitting on the sofa, dumbfounded.
~*~STEVE'S POV~*~
My breath came in short gasps as I tore through the streets. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't know when I'd stop. Maybe I'd never stop. Maybe I'd just keep running away. Memories flashed through my mind and I quickened my pace, trying to leave those behind. But I couldn't stop them from coming.
I remembered myself shoving a ten-year-old Ponyboy out of the way. I remembered the time I had accidentally-on-purpose knocked the birthday cake onto the floor at his twelfth birthday party. I remembered how I had hissed, "Don't be such a sniveling crybaby" at Pony's parents funeral. I remembered all the times I had wished Pony would just die and stop tagging along with us and stealing all of Soda's attention.
But I hadn't wanted THIS to happen to him. God Almighty, I would never wish anything like that to happen to any kid, let alone a friend.
I stopped suddenly and leaned on a streetlamp, closing my eyes as more painful memories resurfaced. I could see my drunken father, yelling at a much younger me cowering in the corner.
YOU WORTHLESS SON OF A BITCH! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE IN THIS HOUSE! GET THE FUCK OUT! GET OUT!
I flinched involuntarily as each word hit me like a sharp stone. I put a hand to my cheek and was shocked to find a tear running down it. I hadn't cried in years. Hell, I didn't know I even remembered how to cry. I wiped the tear off my face and stared at my hand for a second. The single tear ran down my finger in a tiny rivulet, a tiny reminder of my past. After a second I tore my eyes off it and brushed it off on my jacket.
I'd make it up to Pony somehow.
Well, that's it for today!
Merry Christmas again! I hope you enjoy your holiday unlike me; I'm doomed to spend the rest of the hols chained to my chair and locked in my room, studying for midterms. . . *sob* lol yes I absolutely love complaining, whining, etc. hehehe.