NOTE: HEY, SORRY FOR THE CAPITAL LETTERS, JUST WANTED TO GRAB YOUR ATTENTION! This is not an update, but I changed some stuff in this chapter that might influence the rest of the story! Please read!! Thanks :o)
A/N: omigod guys! i can't believe that i haven't updated since Christmas!! litzy hits self on head well, i was really bored the other day so i got onto fanfiction.net and I started reading through this fanfic and i have decided that no matter what I AM GOING TO FINISH THIS FIC!!! hehehe!!
Thank you to all reviewers! huggles everyone you guys are the best!! :o) Killslay: Hey! Hope you're still here! I am soo sorry about the long wait! To your question, actually I have no idea where Dal and Johnnycakes are! But they turn up in this chapter! :o) and yeah, I gave up on the Silmarillion. I'm reading the Iliad now to get prepared for Troy! May 14!!! I CAN'T WAIT! Teehee
Lillia E: ooh a long review!! Wow you check every day? I'm so sorry I haven't updated for the longest time! And thanks for the dark chocolate tip! :o) Gave me an excuse to eat candy 24/7 evil grin
Sodapop'll-be-mine: Teehee, thanks for understanding about the updating thing!
Elsie: yup, I agree about it not being Dar's fault! Poor guy. . . thanks for your review!
CrazeLilDreamer: huggles CrazeLilDreamer thanks for reviewing!
Wanda: hands over tissue and hugs Wanda
Driven to insanity: smothers driven to insanity with rib-breaking hugs thanks for all the wonderful reviews!!! hehe, strangle abusive parents? I want to do that too! Oh and Happy (very belated) New Year to you too!
Gemma: hm. . . of course I'll update soon! I always do! starts edging away LOL.
Curtis4ever: don't worry, Pony will definitely realize that Dar is a good guy! As much as I love angst, sap is definitely another of my obsessions! So there will be more of that in upcoming chappies! :o)
Mickey4u: I hope you like the reactions in this chapter! Thanks for reviewing!
David: ROTFL! Thanks for the long review! You'd better review this one as well! tries to look threatening gives up and starts chasing David with frilly pink ribbons instead I SWEAR I'LL PUT THESE IN YOUR HAIR UNLESS YOU REVIEW!
Trine: hehe, I have no idea why, but I love torturing my favorite characters! laughs sadistically no! don't run away! Why are you running away from meee?
Becca: yup, Johnny and Dal's reactions are in this chapter! Hope you enjoy it!
Pony's girl: I wish Kev could die too. . . hm wait why am I wishing? I'M GONNA KILL HIM!!!!!!! hehe.
Amber: WOW jaw drops so many reviews! You are soo nice!!! huggles Amber until she can't breathe THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!! Ooh you're Hispanic? That's awesome! I don't know any Hispanic people, hehe. I totally agree about the freshman thing. . . high school is pretty scary! Ah well, next year we'll be sophomores and we can pick on the poor freshmen! evil snigger
Makado: thanks for the compliment! :o)
Bailyy: aww hands over more tissues with Orlando Bloom's face on them oops, wrong ones! hands over the ones with Ponyboy on them hehe! (sorry about the Orli thing if you are a guy! I'm just obsessed right now!)
JustCallMeEri: AAAH! Evil killer monkeys? Sounds absolutely terrifying! I'd better update sooner! Lol.
Lin: hey! I hope you like how Johnnycakes reacts! Thanks for reviewing! Thanks also to redrose2310, Ryo Wings, Ami, Joce, Two-BitGortez, PonysGirl2, Sul, Drea, darkdestiney2000, trunksGRL13, korin and blah for reviewing!!!
Well, i hope you guys are still here... don't forget me!! sob I've been reading in the LotR fandom obsessively (Legolas! Aragorn!! Yes, I am another screaming fangirl that you do NOT want to watch any Orlando Bloom movies with in the same cinema!)
But the main reason i haven't updated for such a long time was because everyone was really interested in how Johnny takes the news, and to be honest with you guys, i really had no idea. and i didn't want to disappoint anybody!!! ah well. Here I go! Tell me what you think!!
Oh and lastly, please note that Two-bit is a little OOC in this chapter. And so is Darry. ARGH, almost everyone is OOC here!!! Ah well. I mean, you obviously would not act the way you normally would if you were just told that a close friend was abused, right??? So please don't flame me on this.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders. wince please don't make me say that again. It was excruciatingly painful.
Okay, enough of boring you guys! Onto the fic!
Chapter 19 (finally!):
TWO-BIT'S POV
I sat completely still, for the first time in my life not knowing what to say. I still couldn't believe this whole nightmare was true. I refused to accept it. My entire life had revolved around meaningless jokes and, to tell the truth, I was praying that this was another one. I had been waiting the last ten minutes for Darry to look up and grin, telling me that it was just a stupid prank and that of course Pony was okay. Then I would know what to do. I would laugh back in relief and punch him in the shoulder, perhaps a little harder than I should, and tell him that it was a sick, sick joke. Then maybe we'd get into a wrestling match, which Darry would of course win, and life would go back to normal.
However, one look at Darry's slumped shoulders and the unshed tears glistening in his eyes told me the truth in a way that words never could. What had happened to Darry, the superman, the backbone of the gang? I had always turned to him for advice, help, or just for strength. The abrupt change left me reeling, unable to find my feet. Tentatively, I reached over, placing a hand on Darry's broad, well-muscled shoulder. I could feel his body shaking, struggling to hold back sobs that racked through his body.
"Darry. . ." I said softly, my uncharacteristically gentle voice astonishing even myself. Surprised, Darry looked up, his eyes accidentally locking onto mine. Caught off guard, I saw the raw emotions and turmoil clearly in his hurting eyes. I could read his guilt, anger and pain at what Pony had had to go through.
Then that protective shield slammed down again, restoring his eyes to an emotionless, icy blue. I knew better. I knew my friend was hurting badly underneath that calm, strong façade he had been forced to erect after his parent's death.
Surprisingly enough, I understood him, us being closer in age, better perhaps in some aspects than Soda did. I knew how it felt, how young twenty still was. To Pony and the rest of the gang, Darry was old enough to be a dependable adult. But I understood. I don't know how I would possibly cope if that kind of responsibility had suddenly been placed on me.
"Darry," I continued. "Nobody blames you for this. None of it is your fault."
I saw that my words weren't getting through and tried a different tack.
"Pony needs you, Dar. And you can't be of any help to him if you keep beating yourself up about this."
Darry turned his head away at my words, trying to hide his tears from me.
"Ponyboy hates me."
I hated the self-condemnation in his voice as he forced out the choked, painful words, and desperately reached out to him again, taking his shoulders in my hands and refusing to break eye contact with him.
"No Darry, he doesn't!" I insisted vehemently, trying to get Darry to see the truth. "I don't know what he said to you, or how he acted towards you, but I know for certain Ponyboy could never hate you. He loves you, Darry. He loves you!"
For the first time in years I felt close to tears. I went through my life, both the good times and the bad, not really caring about anything. I know this sounded corny, but it was the love that bonded the Curtis family I depended on- hell, that the whole gang depended on- to remind us that there was still love in the world, and that no matter how bad life got, we would always be there for each other.
I couldn't stand what was happening.
Suddenly realizing how strongly I cared, and terrified of the alien, unfamiliar feelings, I pulled back, desperately fighting my tears and searching for something else to occupy my mind.
"Have. . . have Dally and Johnny found out about. . . this yet?" I said, clearing my throat. Darry didn't respond and I was just about to repeat my question when he shook his head miserably. Taking a deep breath and rubbing his wet eyes with a fist, he looked down.
"They're gonna have to find out sooner or later," he mumbled wearily.
"I'll go and get them."
Darry gave me a small nod to show that he had heard me, and sank back into his chair, closing his eyes tightly. Taking one last look at him, I fled.
I know it was selfish, but I desperately needed to escape this harsh reality for a while. I took a deep breath as I walked out of the Curtis house, seriously considering going to the pub and drinking myself into oblivion. I resisted the urge, however, deciding to find Dally and Johnny first.
DALLAS' POV
I walked over to the lot slowly, knowing that Johnny would be sleeping somewhere near there. I smiled fondly as I thought of him. He was a good kid.
At the thought of the word, the uneasy feelings that had been bothering me the whole night came back with a vengeance, making my stomach twist and flip uncomfortably. I couldn't get the image of Ponyboy's reaction when Two- bit had called him 'kid' out of my head.
I don't think I had ever seen him so terrified. He had actually shrank away from Two-bit, ducking his head as if he expected Two-bit to strike him or something. It just didn't make sense.
Not for the first time, I shook off the feelings. It was probably nothing. I was just feeling slightly protective because I had not seen him for so long. Yes, that was it. I grinned wryly to myself as I imagined the shocked expressions of the rest of the gang if they ever found out about this. Dallas Winston had actually had a sober, sleepless night worrying his ass off about a kid. I shook my head, lighting up a cigarette and flipping it into my mouth and taking a long drag out of it.
I walked into the lot, almost immediately spotting the small figure lying on the bench, a jeans jacket pulled over him. I stood over Johnny for a while, marveling at how innocent he looked asleep. Johnny always looked tense and frightened awake, his brown puppy-dog eyes bearing the scars of his parent's neglect. I felt a surge of protectiveness toward him, and at the same time a wave of intense, almost blinding anger at his parents.
I know everyone thought of me as a tough, unfeeling hood who would mug anyone for a couple of bucks, and hell, they were right.
But there were certain limits. I just had something against hurting kids that couldn't even defend themselves. There was something so cowardly in hitting someone weaker than yourself. Of course, I would rather die than let anyone find out about Dallas Winston's soft side.
"Johnny," I said, shaking the kid's shoulder. "Hey Johnnycakes, wake up."
Johnny rolled over, his eyes opening as he looked at me confusedly for a second.
"Oh, hey Dal," he said softly, sitting up and giving me a smile. I was about to respond when Johnny looked over my shoulder. Following his gaze, I looked behind me, and saw Two-bit running up to us. I didn't know why, but there was something in his urgent stride that made the knot in my stomach turn icy cold.
He stopped just a few yards before us, as if he didn't want to come any nearer. Now that he was closer, I could see that the joker of the gang looked abnormally seriously and his characteristic dancing gray eyes were red and puffy.
Finally, I took a deep breath and forced myself to walk those few steps, reluctantly closing the distance between us. I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to know Two-bit's imminent bad news. I could hear Johnny following me.
"Hey Two-bit," I said at last. Two-bit opened his mouth, struggling for words.
"I- I . . ." he closed his eyes for a second. "Follow me."
Johnny and I exchanged confused looks. Two-bit at a loss for words? I shrugged and we started walking, easily keeping pace with Two-bit. We were silent all of the way, each of us too lost in our own thoughts to speak. Finally, we stopped at the Curtis house. Two-bit hesitated at the door, letting us in before he walked in himself.
The first thing I saw was Darry, slumped in the chair. That caught my attention. Darry never slouched. He hardly acknowledged us as we sat down.
"Where's Pone and Sodapop?" I asked, trying to break the silence that was getting too loud for my ears.
We were all surprised when Darry actually replied.
"Ponyboy is sleeping. Soda's with him," he said flatly. He was obviously trying to keep the emotion out of his voice, but we all heard the slight tremor as he said Pony's name.
Not able to stand the heavy quiet that had once again descended upon the room, I exploded in anger, the safest, most comfortingly familiar emotion to me.
"Darrell Curtis, if you don't tell me what the FUCK is going on, I swear to god I'll. . ."
I was still trying to think of a suitable threat when Darry spoke again, obviously with difficulty.
"He was . . . Pony was. . . ab-abused. . ." Darry choked on the last word, "by that . . . man . . . by that. . . monster for a month.
Last night he had a nightmare and we . . . found out what happened," he continued numbly. "We found . . . there were bruises all over him and . . . that bastard had beaten him- there were welts and belt marks on his back and. . . and. . ."
Darry stopped, unable to go on.
I froze, my blood running cold. Darry's words hit me hard. Images of Pony ran through my head. Pony tensing at Darry's hug at the airport, the way he refused to talk about his month with Kevin, Pony's terrified, huge eyes as Two-bit ruffled his hair. . .
I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed it before. I had never wanted to punch anything more than now. I clenched my fists so hard that my knuckles turned white, my nails digging into my palm.
"THAT FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! HOW DARE HE?!" I yelled angrily, not caring that Darry winced when I turned to him.
I felt Two-bit's hand on my arm but I shoved it off roughly, causing him to stumble back. I hardly noticed. There was a burning red haze blocking my vision, and I could feel the rage building up in me.
"HOW COULD HE DO THAT TO ANYONE- TO PONY? ONCE I GET MY HANDS ON THAT FUCKING BASTARD, HE'LL WISH HE WAS NEVER FUCKING BORN!"
Without warning, I balled my fist, punching the wall nearest to me as hard as I could. My hand crashed against the cement with a dull thud. I looked down at my bloody hand, not feeling any pain, only a slight twinge of satisfaction at the hole I had left in the wall. I stared at it, picturing the bastard's face in place of the damaged wall.
The room was suddenly silent, and then Two-bit's hands were on my shoulders again, guiding me away from the wall and pushing me down onto the sofa. I didn't resist, numbly letting him steer me over. My anger had dissolved as rapidly as it had appeared, leaving my mind blank, reeling in shock.
All of a sudden, I heard a tiny whimper.
I had almost forgotten that Johnny was in the room. I turned around to look at him, immediately coming out of my stupor. He was on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest, rocking back and forth slowly. I could see tremors running through his body.
Two-bit crouched down next to him, lowering himself to eye-level, but Johnny flinched and shrank back, away from Two-bit's touch.
"No. . ." he whimpered, putting his head in his arms, as if trying to shield himself from horrible images only he could see.
"It's okay, Johnnycakes. . ." Two-bit looked up, at a loss as to how to comfort the terrified child in front of him. He tried to reach out to Johnny again, only to have him back away even further out of his reach.
I looked over to Darry, but he seemed almost unaware of what was going on, trapped in his own world of horror. With effort, I stood up, suddenly conscious of how much my hand ached. Ignoring it, I joined Two- bit, kneeling down next to the shaking kid.
I put an arm around his shoulders, but Johnny rejected me as well, trying to scoot out of my embrace. I stared at Johnny, a tiny ball huddled against the wall, crying and shaking. In all the years I had known the kid, I had never seen him lose control like this, not even after being switched bloody by his father.
I made another attempt at contact, but once again, Johnny pushed me away. Somehow, that hurt me more than anything else before. Johnny had never rejected me before.
"Johnny, please don't turn away from me," I said, surprising myself at the desperately pleading undertone in my voice. I hadn't meant my words to come out like that. However, Johnny just turned his head away as he tightened his grip around his legs, burying further into himself and blocking me out even more.
JOHNNY'S POV
I felt horrible about pushing them away, but I couldn't help it. I just. . . couldn't handle talking at the moment. All I could hear was Darry's broken words echoing around and around relentlessly in my head.
"Pony was abused. . . Pony was abused. . . Pony was abused. . ."
I could live with my parent's neglect and occasional slaps and punches. I had grown up with it all my life. And besides, although I didn't look like it, I was tough. I knew I could take it. I had no choice; it was my life.
But Pony. . . Ponyboy was gold. He had a whole life ahead of him. I couldn't conceive of the terrible idea of young, innocent Ponyboy going through that kind of horror. Abuse was such an ugly word; it seemed impossible to associate it with nature-loving, dreamy Ponyboy.
I buried my head deeper between my knees, trying unsuccessfully to block out ugly images of Pony's past month. My wild imagination conjured up sickening scenes, each one more awful then the previous one. I felt as if I was going to be sick. I wanted to throw up. . .
SODAPOP'S POV
I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand, exhausted. I had finally coaxed Pony back to sleep and I felt emotionally drained; too much had happened in such a small space of time. I desperately needed a break. Lying down, careful not to disturb Pony's slumber, I gently flung an arm over him. I closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to come.
Half an hour later, I opened my eyes again, sighing. I was tired, but it was impossible for me to sleep. Not with thoughts of Ponyboy and that bastard in my head. I turned over to look at my kid brother, but Pony was curled us on his side next to me, his face buried into my shoulder. I reached over, pushing auburn locks away from his face.
How could anyone ever think of harming my angel? How DARE they? I gritted my teeth. Nobody was going to hurt him ever again. I would protect him; they would have to get through me first.
My eyes teared up again. But that wasn't enough. I hadn't been able to keep him away from that monster in the first place.
And where was the Ponyboy Curtis I used to know? I could see a shadow of himself in his eyes, but now fear and distrust had clouded over the normally clear, gray orbs. I would get him back if it was the last thing I'd ever do. I swore it. I would show him love again, show him that he had nothing more to fear.
PONYBOY'S POV
. . . it was pitch black. Suffocatingly dark. I couldn't see anything. I couldn't move. Not again! Please not again! Panicking, I struggled against my confines unsuccessfully; I was trapped. There was no way out. And I couldn't breathe. . . I couldn't breathe!...
SODAPOP'S POV
I closed my eyes once more, although I knew by now that any attempt at sleep was futile. All of a sudden I heard a muffled whimper next to me. Instantly alert, I turned my head again to look at Ponyboy. He was curled up into an even tighter ball, shaking and mumbling something unintelligible. I caught the words, "No. . . no. . . not again! Please not again!" Then he broke off, gasping and sobbing.
My heart wrenched. The poor kid couldn't escape his fears even in sleep. I was just about to wake him up when he flailed out, kicking me hard in the shin. Quickly, I grabbed his thrashing wrists, pinning them down on the bed gently.
Still in the grips of his nightmare, this terrified him even more and he struggled to escape my grip. I released him slightly.
"Pony! Ponyboy honey, wake up!" I said urgently.
His eyes flew open instantly and he sat up. Immediately I put my arms around him, stroking the back of his head in an attempt to comfort as violent, heaving sobs shook his body.
"Shh. . . it's okay, honey, it's okay," I murmured, "I'm here with you, Ponyboy. You're safe now. . ."
PONYBOY'S POV
I couldn't stop crying. I was aware that I was soaking Soda's shirt, but he didn't seem to mind. I knew I was being weak and babyish, but I couldn't help it. my dream had seemed so real. . . so vivid. I really thought I had been back in Kevin's clutches. . . I shuddered involuntarily as flashes of my nightmare relayed in my head.
Forcing them out of my mind, I let myself relax in the protection of Soda's warm arms and be calmed by his soothing words. Gradually the sobs lessened and I sniffled into Soda's shoulder.
"Do you wanna go back to sleep, honey?" Soda asked, looking worriedly at me and pressing the back of his hand against my hot forehead. I shook my head and curled up again in his arms, reluctant to leave the cocoon of safety they made.
"Okay," Soda said, "Do you want to talk about it?"
I shook my head immediately. I couldn't tell him! It seemed shameful, somehow. I couldn't risk him hating me, thinking I was weak and cowardly. Soda sighed.
"You have to talk about it someday, baby," Soda pleaded. "Please, just try Pony. I won't force you to say more than you will. It'll feel better if you tell someone, I promise ya."
Suddenly I had an urge to tell someone. Perhaps not all, but maybe a part of it. It seemed so inviting to share some of the burden that was weighing me down with someone else. Almost not aware that I had begun speaking, I began in a tiny whisper.
"He . . . he used to . . . make me sleep in the garbage . . ."
I barely registered Soda's shocked, "WHAT?". Lost in painful memories, I started trembling violently.
Flashback:
. . . my eyes popped open quickly and I sat up, my heart pounding and my breathing harsh, aftereffects of the nightmare I had, the kind I could never remember. My throat hurt from screaming and I started shaking, resisting the urge to cry. I needed Soda. . . I need Soda. . . I need Soda. . .
I pushed the thought out of my head. Soda wasn't here. And no amount of wishful thinking would change that fact. Suddenly, I heard the door to Kevin's room slam open and my blood ran cold. Desperately, I looked around the dark room for somewhere to hide, but I knew it was useless. Before I even had time to panic, the door was forcefully opened and Kevin stood on the threshold.
"How much louder do you have to fucking scream, kid?" his voice was deceptively soft. Somehow that scared me more than his drunken swearing tirades. I hated the anticipation, the dread. Waiting, not knowing when his fist would strike out.
I cowered on the bed as Kevin came closer, scooting back until my back touched the wall as he towered over me.
"No. . . please. . ." I whispered, hating myself for my weakness as I said the words. Kevin carried on, as if he had not heard my words.
"I don't care if you have nightmares, kid. As long as you don't FUCKING wake me up in the middle of the night every single time you get one, you little bastard!" He leaned forward, trapping me between himself and the wall. I could smell the alcohol on his breath as he spoke.
"I've had enough of this goddamned bullshit."
"I'm sorry, I won't do it again," I whispered, my voice wavering.
"We'd better make sure of that, shouldn't we?" Kevin replied, giving me a now familiar and very much dreaded smile. I hated that sadistic grin. It lit up his face manically and sent cold chills down my spine.
Not sure what Kevin had in store for me, but sure I would not like it, I tried to jump off the bed and escape, but he was too fast for me. Strong hands grabbed me by my armpits and dragged me, kicking and squirming, off the bed.
Fear and adrenaline gave me an extra burst of energy and somehow I succeeded in kicking him hard in the stomach. He swore and doubled over, letting me go. The second I escaped from his rough grip I ran toward the door, almost falling down as my shaking legs refused to support me.
I yelped as a fist connected with the back of my head, making me see bright white flashes of light. Another hard punch to the stomach forced the wind out of my lungs and I fell down on my arm with a gasp of pain.
I could hear Kevin cussing and swearing, but I couldn't make out the words over the buzzing in my head. I started struggling again as Kevin picked me up, but I felt too weak and shaky to give any real resistance.
My churning stomach knotted in fear as Kevin opened the back door, dragging me outside. I looked around. We were in the woods outside his house and the night was pitch black and freezing cold. Somewhere in the wilderness I heard the loud hoot of an owl and jumped at the unexpected noise.
"Like it out here, kid?" Kevin leered at me. "You'd better, 'cos it's where you'll be spending the rest of tonight! In the trash where you belong!"
Grabbing me again with one hand, he picked up the lid of a garbage bin. Suddenly aware of what he was about to do I renewed my struggles with all the energy I could muster, but it wasn't enough.
Half lifting me up with one arm, Kevin shoved me in, slamming the metal lid back on with a loud clang. I heard another thump as something large and heavy was placed on top of the lid. I almost gagged at the smell of the rubbish I was sitting on, and fought the urge to retch. I could hear Kevin laughing somewhere near. Then the laughter faded away and I was all alone.
It was too cramped inside the bin. My back was pressed uncomfortably on a side of the cold metal and my knees were forced up against my chest. I shifted my head, trying to give my cramped neck some space. I yelped in pain as my head accidentally hit the hard lid, and decided not to try and move again.
The silence weighed down on me as I sat there alone, and my adrenaline faded away fast. I started shaking again, partly from the cold and partly from my nightmare. I don't think I had ever been so scared in my life, all by myself outside in the dark of night. Silent tears flowed down my cheeks and I struggled not to make a noise, although I knew Kevin had already left.
Trying not to think of anything, I concentrated on breathing. Despite the chilly night, the air inside the almost airtight container was getting stuffier and it was increasingly difficult to breathe. Desperately, I pushed my nose into the tiny crack between the lid and the trash can, trying to suck in more air.
I was getting dizzier and dizzier from lack of oxygen and I started hyperventilating in my panic for air. I could feel myself passing out and I held onto consciousness for as long as I could, not wanting Kevin to come back while I was out cold.
The red haze clouding my eyes got thicker and finally I gave up, succumbing to the now inviting darkness. And this time when my head lolled back and hit the metal again, I didn't feel any pain . . .
"He did that every time . . . I woke him up with my nightmares," I finished shakily. Against my will, I started sobbing again.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry . . . I'm sorry," I choked out brokenly, burying my face in my hands. I didn't want to look up and see the contempt on Soda's face.
"I should have been stronger . . ." I whispered through my tears. "I should have been able to protect myself. I'm sorry for being so pathetic. I'm sorry for being weak. I'm sorry . . ."
I jumped as I felt a hand tilt my chin up, forcing me to meet Soda's eyes. I tried to look away, but I couldn't. His eyes were full of emotions, of sadness, anger and pain. But I couldn't find any scorn or disapproval for me in them.
"Ponyboy, please don't say that!" he cried, also on the verge of tears. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Don't apologize for that bastard! It was HIS fault, not yours, baby."
Soda engulfed me in his arms again, momentarily chasing away my fears. I could hear him bawling over me and suddenly it seemed okay to cry. I let go of the last restraint that held me back and cried back, for the first time in a long while not feeling ashamed of my tears.
takes about a billion painkiller pills
keels over from drug overdose
LoL!
Well, it was fun to write! Teehee
Please please PLEASE review, you guys! I'm begging you!!!!!!! I'm not writing another chapter until I get . . . hm. . . maybe I'll be mean about this one: 30 reviews! Hehe!
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! (was there too much crying?? It seems to me as if every ten seconds SOMEBODY starts turning on the waterworks. . . ah well!)
Grrr. . . I made an IDIOT out of myself yesterday at tennis because I couldn't concentrate!! (and my tennis coach is seriously hot too!) God, it was so embarrassing!!!
I started laughing (in embarrassment) the first time I missed a shot because I was occupied in thinking about hehe, ways to torture Ponyboy! And then I missed another one because I was laughing, and then I missed like, five in a row!!! And then I just dropped my racket and started laughing my head off like some maniac it was SOOOO embarrassing!!!!!!!!
And then when I was practicing serves I kept screwing up every single one, and at the end, my tennis coach (who's really nice) was like, 'don't worry about it; serves are really hard. You're using these different body parts. . .'
God WHY did he say that?!?!? You know when you're in a giggly state (hehe) you start laughing crazily at anything? ARGH. Now he thinks I'm some seriously sick-minded person!
Whoa! Hehehe sorry to ramble on like that and bore you guys! I can't help it!
Anyway, I will stop bothering everyone!
PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!