How to Make a Human Being - Chapter 3
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Author's Notes:
Hi. Not much to say here - people say I jabber too much anyways. I'm just going to let everything unfold before your eyes.
So enjoy chapter 3. That's an order. :D
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Title: How to Make a Human Being
Genre: Short Story
Author: PitViper (pvalpha@yahoo.com mailto:pvalpha@yahoo.com)
Created: 08/02/02
Chapter1: 08/09/02
Chapter2: 08/13/02
Chapter3: 08/18/02 modified v2 - 08/19/02
Synopsis: Many believe that the character of Rei Ayanami is bound in steel to her duty - She accepts nothing into her life that is not related to Eva or Angels. This is the story of how a few small changes can make a big difference.
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How to Make a Human Being: Chapter 3 - Now we add some vinegar…
September 15th, 2015 -12:10pm
Rei's eyes suddenly snapped open as the nurse adjusted her position on the bed. As her eyes focused on the ceiling above, she whispered softly, "I'm still alive…"
"Yes dear," the nurse said to the strange looking young girl who was lying in bed. She watched as a curious red-eyed stare met her own for a brief instant, then moved down to examine her arm. "It's just a precaution. You have several hairline fractures along the length of the arm - and severe muscle strain. The bandages and brace are just for pressure and support so that your pain is minimized.
"This is not the NERV infirmary…"
The nurse looked away. "The infirmary was damaged, along with the rest of the Central Dogma Complex. It was temporarily evacuated until the teams can confirm its structural integrity and continued operational capacity."
"Did…" Rei licked her lips for a moment, "Did the Angel cause the damage?"
"No… they… I've heard rumors. It was Unit 01…" the nurse replied softly. "I heard that there was some sort of experiment that went awry and that… Pilot Ikari…" The nurse tried not to say the name with anger, but she failed miserably: "That Pilot Ikari went on a rampage… I hope he never pilots again!"
Rei's eyes narrowed, "It was not Shinji's fault. He had no control over the Evangelion."
"His fault…" the nurse muttered.
"Impossible." Rei countered.
"It has to be his fault… because if it wasn't then Karl died for nothing." The nurse finally intoned.
"You have lost someone?" Rei said thoughtfully.
The nurse nodded, tears flowing down her cheeks.
The sight of the tears triggered something deep inside Rei. "What is it you feel when you cry?"
The nurse steadied her gaze on the young pilot. "I… I don't know."
Rei tilted her head slightly, her gaze begging the nurse to try to verbalize what she felt.
"E…Empty." The nurse said. "Cold… in here," the nurse brought her hands to cover her heart, and they slipped down further to her abdomen. "A numb sensation… here…" Rei blinked at this. "It's as though a part of me has been torn out, and all that's left is a cold memory of what was once there. I… I think I expected pain… but not this… emptiness."
"How… is Shinji…" Rei paused for a moment, then repeated, "How is Pilot Ikari?" Rei asked.
The nurse immediately averted her gaze, "I…. I feel so ashamed. At first I thought it was poetic justice…"
"Tell me." Rei's voice used a commanding tone that those who knew her would never have thought that she possessed.
"He… He's probably still in surgery. A lot of injured were moved out to other hospitals so that the surgical team could work on him…"
"Tell me!" Rei commanded, her voice resonating oddly in the private recovery room.
Almost against her will, the nurse obeyed the commanding voice of the First Child, "They… they say his spine was severed between the eighth and ninth vertebrae."
"He… is alive?" Rei asked - her voice once more the soft tonal quality normally associated with a child her age and physique.
"Y…yes. But he'll likely never walk again."
Rei released a soft sigh, "Time can heal any wound, except the mortal ones. For most, death is a permanent state." Rei watched as the last words caused the nurse to wince slightly, "It may be of little comfort, but Pilot Ikari's actions saved thousands of lives today. Thousands who would have otherwise died…" Rei wanted to do something, but could not find the words to give voice to her emotions. Her inner turmoil was building, but she had no release for it. So she focused on the present, "When may I leave?"
The nurse straightened slightly, "W…When you feel up to…" The nurse didn't finish getting the words out.
Rei quickly stood from the bed, fingering her damaged arm after examining it a moment, still trying to find something within that would help this poor soul. 'Lost soul, she has lost her completion. She is hollow, empty… like… I was.' Rei sighed slightly, "When may the pressure bandage and splint be removed?"
"The doctor would like you to keep it on for several days at least…"
"It would interfere with piloting." Rei said, cutting off the nurse from explaining the doctor's orders, "I will wear it until I must fulfill my duties again, or until the doctor believes it may be removed safely."
The nurse nodded, wiping away a stray tear as she watched the pilot flex her good hand and arm.
"About… your loss…" Rei said hesitantly, her voice a little above a whisper. "I… I think I understand."
"Y…You do?" The nurse looked up, a small glimmer of hope in her eye.
"I have felt that way since the first day I can remember life." Rei stated, looking at the door. "Only recently have I found someone that… that takes away the emptiness." Rei paused, and took a most unexpected action. She moved her good hand, and gently touched where the tears had fallen down the nurse's cheek. "I... I could not cry." Rei said, feeling something warm spring up within her, "But I do know… That the emptiness will go away. It just takes… time."
The nurse touched the girl's hand for a moment, holding it against her face. "T…Thank you."
Rei held her composure, if only barely. Bad enough that she had once experienced such interminable loneliness, but to see it inflicted on another? She could not allow such thoughts to consume her, she had done what she could; there was no more to do. "I… I am going to go to him now." As Rei turned to the door, she thought: 'I go to him now to remind myself that this emptiness can be vanquished… and that I still have him with me.'
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Rei walked unerringly towards where she knew Shinji was. One would think by watching her she knew the exact layout of the building. They would be in error. She simply felt a connection with the Third - a connection that helped to ease her loneliness and fill, if only for a few moments, the void within. She paid no attention to the suffering and pain that was evident around her. Patients and bodies were piled up around the small hospital's primary surgical suite - waiting their turn at the life-saving equipment contained within. Although the small building had other surgery rooms, this one was the only one that had the equipment necessary to save these people's lives. Many had already died, awaiting their turn at the medical facility. Many more would be dead before the medical facility was surrendered to the use of the hospital.
"Shinji… Ikari…" Rei whispered as she approached the first door. She hesitated a moment, remembering the bandage and brace placed around her right arm. She then used her left to push open the door. Before her was a small waiting area right outside the surgical wing. Rei quickly retrieved her swipe card, noticing the door reader with red illumination indicating that the rooms beyond were inaccessible through this doorway. As she walked up to the door, a piercing voice caught her attention.
"I thought you'd be visiting the Commander by now?"
Rei's eyes narrowed at door before her. She didn't want to deal with the second's demeaning attitude at this moment. Still, the red-haired Child's comment had pierced her determination and piqued her interest. "Is the Commander still alive?"
"What?" Asuka asked the First, "Don't you know?"
"I just became conscious ten minutes ago." Rei said, turning to face the Second, who was still dressed in her demon-red plugsuit.
"Idiot Shinji's puppet went haywire." Asuka stated bluntly, her eyes staring off into the distance. "They lost contact soon after he powered down his Eva to full life-support mode. They say he accessed something dealing with an autopilot or something like that… Misato knows, but she won't tell me…" Asuka's fists clenched slightly. "I wish that someone would tell me… But that's beside the point."
Rei noticed the pause in the red-head's explanation, "Then please get to the point." Rei demanded, wanting to know the story, even if it came from Asuka's point of view.
"Well…" Asuka said, ignoring the fact that the First Child had just ordered her to continue, "It seems that whatever it was - the autopilot or whatnot - was under his chair. Well… in any case, when he saw it… He must have panicked, because a few seconds later the Eva went berserker. While the Eva bucked the cage restraints, evidently that idiot weakling lost his grip on whatever was keeping him still in the Eva and slammed his back against the underside of his chair. There's a lot of equipment hidden under that thing, you know."
"Yes." Rei said softly, knowing just what kind of equipment was 'hidden' under this particular seat.
Asuka went back to her story telling mode, "In any case, the idiot got his back broken and fell unconscious. The Eva went on a rampage. It tore through the containment wall and into the command center. Then it went ripping through several corridors after something, and then, finally, it came back to the command center. It reached up over the high-tower and clawed its way near to the Commander's post. Then they said that the Eva roared, and shoved its hand into the Commander's office!"
Rei nodded softly, acknowledging that she understood. "The Commander is dead?" She knew that her own Eva harbored an almost insane desire to destroy that particular human. It took all her will to prevent the mecha from carrying out its own hunt and seek operation each time it was activated. It was quiescent as long as she didn't think about the Commander, or as long as she was distant enough that the entity within Unit 00 knew that it would never reach the target before its power ran out.
"No." Asuka said, almost disappointed at voicing the revelation. "The Evangelion ran out of power right before it was about to crush both him and that desk of his." Asuka looked at Rei, still half dressed in her plugsuit. "I do know that the Plug responded to the eject signal shortly after, and that Maya was the first person to look in the plug. Whatever was in there wasn't too pretty - she vomited on the floor, what was left of the floor near Unit 01, shortly after she peered in.
"Misato was the next one to get in there… According to Kaji, she got so angry that she walked over to the Commander, who was still sitting at his desk… the desk almost crushed in the grip of 01… and knocked him unconscious. Misato ordered him placed under arrest. A few of the officers protested, and Misato made them look in the plug. Evidently that was enough for them, and they have him in the holding cells." Asuka narrowed her eyes, "So your precious 'Commander' isn't in there. And you're not going to be able to get in either. I've already tried my card, it doesn't permit me access. But since the Commander isn't here, you should be a good little doll and go back to your master - considering he's not hurt like that idiot son of his."
Rei turned back to the door and contemplated using her card to access it. She felt an urge to prove the Second wrong. 'Why? Why do I want to prove her wrong? Is it… because I want her to respect me? Look up to me?' Rei pocketed her card. It would not do to have an infuriated Second Child following her into the surgical area. "I am not a doll. The Commander's current disposition is irrelevant." And it was to the First Child.
Asuka blinked, "Why are you here?"
Rei turned and stared into the Second Child's blue eyes. "For Shinji," she said at a whisper, then made her way to a short bench near Asuka, sat, and began contemplating the changes welling up within her.
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After forty minutes of waiting, the doors to the surgical suite opened, and Misato came out, her hands over her eyes, a weary expression on her face. "Asuka… they've… finished with…" Misato removed her hand from her vision, and stared at the small waiting area. Asuka had barely started to look up when she saw something flash in Misato's eyes. A moment later, all Asuka had felt was a soft breeze, and discovered that her guardian was no longer standing before her. "Misato?" Asuka slowly turned to find her guardian, and discovered a sight that she had never expected to see.
"Give me one good reason not to scatter your brains to the four winds," Misato hissed at the blue-haired child currently being throttled - her back pinned against the wall, Misato's forearm against her trachea, and the major's UN issue nine-millimeter semi-automatic pistol less than a millimeter from her right temple.
Rei felt her windpipe constricted, but the bulk of her weight was being supported by Misato's forearm, which was more on her chest than on her neck. She could still breathe and still talk, but chose to only stare into her attacker's eyes.
Misato became even angrier with the blue haired Child. "You aren't afraid of death? The Commander's personal Angel? That bastard…" Misato breathed deeply, "What were you going to do, huh?"
"Misato!" Asuka yelled, noticing her fellow pilot's feet were almost a dozen centimeters off the floor.
Misato turned to Asuka, and leveled a gaze at her that would make an army run.
Asuka blew it off, "She's a Pilot!" Asuka defended her 'arch-enemy'.
"She's a goddamn Angel!" Misato spat, turning back to Rei and clicking the hammer back on the gun.
"So… I am an Angel?" Rei whispered, choking slightly.
"So, just think I'll let you come back, huh? How many of you are there? Ten? Twenty? A hundred? How many fucking clones did he make?" Misato pressed harder, "How many clones do I have to put a bullet into before you are gone forever?"
"Twelve…" Rei whispered, gasping for breath. "Including…the…one in the plug."
"Misato!!!"
"What!" The major growled at her charge.
"So what?" Asuka asked; a nonplussed look on her face.
"So what!?!" Misato shouted.
"It just explains everything." Asuka said, looking at the blue haired girl who was turning blue faced as well. "So which one is she?"
"Huh?" Misato asked, bewildered that her charge would hold no animosity towards Rei.
Asuka struck a pose, her hand against her chin, "Lets see, we have Adam, Sachel, Matriel, Lelial…"
"I… I don't know." Rei managed; her breaths coming shorter and her body dangling even more loosely. "I… never… knew."
Asuka continued, as Ritsuko walked in and dropped her clipboard, "Well, if she were an Angel - something I'm inclined to agree with, by the way." Asuka stared at Rei's eyes, "After all, only one of them could best Asuka Langley Sohryu… But... Misato, don't you think if she were our enemy, her AT-Field would be smashing you against a wall - powdering your bones and reducing you to the equivalent of organic paste as she laughed at the futility of your assault?"
Misato blinked, "She's one of them; she has to know…"
"Misato, she doesn't know anything…" Ritsuko finally said. "She doesn't know, she can't know. She's Rei. That's all she is."
"They… IT killed my Father, Ritsuko."
"Rei is not of Adam. If anything, she's of… Yui Ikari…" Ritsuko turned away, "Do… Do you want to tell Shinji that you've killed his sister?" Seeing Misato strangle Rei now was too similar to the security tape of her mother strangling Rei… and then committing suicide. But in short order three things happened. First she heard the hammer of the gun slowly click back into the 'safe' position. Then she heard the weapon clatter against the floor. Finally, she heard a body collapse down the wall, and a child's cough filled the room as the blue haired angel sucked in deep gasps of air and precious oxygen.
"Why?" Misato asked, looking down at her hands, exhausted.
Ritsuko looked up, as though coming to a realization herself. "He couldn't let her go," She finally said. "Anyone would have done, but he chose to recreate her - or try to, using the best the technology of the time could produce. I guess… so that he'd have a reminder of her, even if she is not a perfect copy. Other than an empty grave and a few scattered pictures in his private office, she is all that remains of his wife and Shinji's mother"
"Shinji…" Misato gasped, "Shinji told me, he had no pictures of his mother - because his father refused to keep them."
Ritsuko laughed harshly, "I've seen them. They're in his desk. He always looks at them, always when nobody is around."
While the two adults talked softly, Asuka went to sit beside Rei. "So, wondergirl…" Asuka looked at her guardian, then back at Rei, "What is it like… to be an Angel?"
"I do not know what it is like to be an Angel. I only know what it is like to be me. I'm Alone… so alone…" Rei whispered, her good hand rubbing her neck.
Asuka asked, "How alone?"
"Do… do you know that feeling… an emptiness - alive in its… depths and complete consummation of all that is warm and fulfilling?"
"Ja." Asuka whispered softly.
"That is what it is like to be me. Alone within oneself… Always alone."
"Your mother, your father?" Asuka asked, not understanding completely, "Did you have any family?"
"Commander Ikari… was the only one." Rei said. "Until Shinji, I had no one else."
"No memory of being… one of them?" Asuka asked, looking at the young girl.
Rei shook her head softly.
"Then… if you are an Angel, then being an Angel is like being a human."
Rei nodded in ascent, "Angels are human, in a way - from what I've learned at least."
Asuka looked again at the opposite wall. "Perhaps it's the other way around. Humans might just be Angels. So why do they attack us?"
"They are the shadows of what might have been." Rei said, cradling her now throbbing right arm. "They have no choice; they are simply intent given form."
"Then, I take it you're not like them." Asuka muttered, looking back.
"I am to fulfill my purpose. But I… cannot anymore." Rei looked at Asuka sadly, "If I die, then I can be replaced."
"That's why you're not afraid of death, you can't die." Asuka said, realizing the truth.
Rei looked at her, "But… those who cannot die, cannot truly live. I have died once, Asuka. I remember most everything of my life. But…"
Asuka looked at the suddenly silent young girl, "But?"
"There is no emotion there. Just raw memory - as though I had watched a recording of that life before. I could see doing things that were… Happy… Sad… exciting… but… there was no emotion with the memory. Nothing stronger than perhaps a memory of a taste, no feeling of excitement as I looked at something new for the first time, I was empty."
Asuka nodded, "Some things are worse than death, I'd imagine. My… my mama… she…"
"I was briefed, Pilot Sohryu." Rei said softly. "I… know."
"The Commander?" Asuka asked, half angry at the fact that the First Child knew, half thankful that she didn't have to repeat the scenes for the First. "Why would he brief you on me?"
Rei looked at her, her head remaining unmoving, but her eyes turning to face Asuka, "Commander Ikari had intent for me… but… I will not follow that intent."
"I… I thought that Angels have no free will?" Asuka asked, "They simply do what God has instructed them to do? That's why you were… a doll."
"I am not an Angel within this form. I am Rei Ayanami…" Rei said, looking into Asuka's eyes. "I am not a doll."
"Then, Rei Ayanami…" Asuka paused for a moment. That distance that she had seen when she had first encountered the blue haired enigma was gone. In its place was a pleading look. An emptiness… So Asuka made a decision then, "Bygones. Clean slate. I'm Asuka Langley Sohryu." She slid her hand out, "A pleasure to meet you."
Rei stared at the offered hand for a moment, "A…Ayanami. Rei Ayanami." She finally said.
"You're supposed to shake my hand, silly," Asuka shoved her hand out further again.
"I cannot…" Rei said, "My hand is bandaged." She held up that hand for demonstration purposes.
Asuka burst out in laughter, "Better… First Child… Still weird, but better…"
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September 15th, 2015 -10:10pm
Night shift duty guard Private Kato Takahashi watched Section 13 Gate B with tired eyes. He had been at his post for thirteen hours. Normally he wouldn't have to guard this particular gate personally; he'd simply have to wait at the monitoring station down the hall. But this gate had been damaged when Unit 01 rampaged… not physically, but the energy feedback from damaged systems had caused gates three and five to get stuck in an open position. So now he had to guard this gate.
Just as he was about to push the brim of his hat down and close his eyes for a few minutes, the guard heard an unusual noise from a darkened corridor. "W…Who's there?" He asked.
He stared into the darkness, and suddenly a cold sweat crawled down his back. A pair of red eyes appeared from the darkness, almost instantly followed by the rest of the child. The red-eyed child approached the gate unerringly. "Ah… Miss Ayanami!!!" The guard suddenly stood at attention. The pilot was dressed in a school uniform, but was not carrying her usual bag.
"Where is Shinji Ikari?" The child asked softly.
"Um… Ikari's at the Quadrant two municipal hospital… But y…you should know that, ma'am!" The officer said, "Y…You were there."
At that moment, another set of footsteps echoed down the hall. Just as before, the eyes became visible just a moment before the body came into view. The guard looked quickly between the two identical children. One dressed in a school uniform, and one dressed in a white plug suit. "M…Miss Ayanami?!?" The guard forgot all his training as another First Child came into view… then another… and another…
The lead child looked at him for a moment. "Sleep," she said softly.
The man's eyes rolled into his head, as the First Children's eyes glowed for an instant. Within moments, the guard had collapsed to the ground. Eight of the nine children gathered here made their way through the two open gates. The lead Child had remained, and watched the body of the guard curiously.
Suddenly the guard rolled over and snored loudly. "Sleep," Rei III said, blinking twice at the guard, then turning away to follow her sisters.
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Author's Notes:
There it is, Chapter 3. I should have some more soon.
As for the glowing eyes - many people may be wondering why I chose such an obvious effect. I could say that I chose it because the eyes are the windows to the soul, and the AT Field is the Light of the Soul. So their eyes glowed because they were projecting their souls... (But the clones don't have souls right??? Hehe...) The truth is that their irises are extremely reflective to red light, so when the Reis projected their AT-Fields, their eyes reflected the soft orange-white field glow as pure red in their eyes. (we see reflected light that is not absorbed by the pigment. A plant is "green" because it absorbs all color spectra except green...) And because of the nature of their eyes, they will take any light with a Red component and reflect it brightly, much like a cat's eyes in the darkness.
Special thanks to Alnilam Orionis, who kindly read through this, pointed out my many faults, and made some suggestions on how to improve the story. Nothing wakes a writer up to the fact that his/her story has problems like seeing several pages worth of red marks. I felt like I was in high school again. :D In any case, thank you, Alnilam, I really appreciate the help.
Thanks to everyone who has read this and reviewed, it means a lot to me :D Sorry about the wait, and I hope you enjoyed it so far. Please keep up the reviews.
Until next time,
PitViper(pvalpha@yahoo.com)