As soon as he entered, the first thing he saw was the Equinox five in a corner of the room. Members of Voyager's crew were in circles scattered throughout the Mess Hall, their relief palatable and made manifest in the noise level of their conversation. To the Equinox crew, Voyager's crew must seem daunting, perhaps they were wondering why the Captain had allowed them to come to the party after all. They were a constant reminder of what they all had just been through and the sacrifice that Voyager's crew had endured to get to this point.

But Tom knew the reason for their presence. Though the official reprimands had been given and their privileges were severely revoked, they were now part of the Voyager crew and they needed to really get to know one another because they would be serving together. And they didn't know it yet, but serving aboard Voyager would be their salvation. A way to make up for the wrong turns they had taken in the Delta Quadrant and a way to make it back home with as much dignity than they could.

Tom kissed B'Elanna on the cheek and whispered to her softly.

"I'm going to talk to the Equinox crew. You don't have to come with me if you don't want to." She stopped him by pulling on his arm.

"I want to." B'Elanna looked at him as she said it and Tom smiled sweetly as he led her to the group.

It would be her man to make the first move to make these outsiders feel welcome. He knew all about serving with a group of people who knew your unsavory past and were holding it against you. He used that knowledge to reach out to people who were in the same situation so that he could help make the transition a bit smoother. And he knew that the transition was going to be a difficult one, not only for the former Equinox crew members, but for everyone on board.

These were the moments when she realized why she fell in love with him.

"Would you look at that Commander," Neelix came up to Chakotay while he was helping himself to some food.

"I saw it on my way in" Chakotay nodded at the Equinox five laughing politely while Tom was talking to them, playing off of Tuvok who had walked over and joined him and B'Elanna.

"I was going to go over to them as soon as I finished putting everything out, they looked so alone when we first started. But Tom and B'Elanna beat me to it. I'm glad they did; they looked ready to bolt when I last saw them.

"It's not going to be easy on them, fitting into this crew." Chakotay remarked.

"From what I can understand from the bridge crew, rebuilding Voyager after this engagement is not going to be easy for any of us," Chakotay looked at Neelix with a puzzled expression "But I know that with you and Captain Janeway guiding us as you normally do, we'll make it. I have faith in that." Then Neelix did something strange. He touched the Commander's arm reassuringly as he went over to join Tom and the others. Chakotay smiled to himself, Neelix was right.

Chakotay saw Tuvok leave the group and approach the buffet table to help himself to some food. He decided that now would be a good time, but he didn't think that the mess hall would be a good place.

"Tuvok, before you eat, may I have a word with you privately?"

"Of course Commander."

They stepped outside the Mess Hall and found a darkened area of the corridor.

"I understand that things got very tough for you and the Captain in my absence."

"Captain Janeway was very focused during our encounter with Captain Ransom and the Equinox and at times she did sacrifice her logic to try and obtain her goals."

"I have to ask Tuvok, and you know you don't have to answer if you don't want to. Why didn't you try to stop her?"

"You mean lead a mutiny?" Tuvok asked and Chakotay nodded.

"Because I made myself a promise, a very long time ago, even before we got stranded here that I would be at Captain Janeway's side, as one of her most trusted advisors."

It was a few minutes before Chakotay spoke. "I made a similar promise to, Tuvok. After our first year of being here. I wonder…."

"If you let her down?"

"Yes"

"I understand she almost allowed crewman Lessing to be killed during one of the encounters with the aliens"

Chakotay nodded.

"Then Commander, I do not believe so. I have also never seen the Captain act is such an illogical, immoral and reckless way. I did not envy your predicament at that faced. I must admit, I do not know what I would have done if I were in your situation. Fortunately the Captain came to her senses before I had to make a choice."

"However, I would like to point out this." Tuvok continued. "I may have been the Captain's friend for a long time, but being Vulcan, I have not always been able to deal with Captain Janeway's emotional sensibilities. I am….pleased that you have such a close relationship with her, Commander. You are able to be her support in ways that I am not able to be given my nature. I believe that the Captain has grown into her role with both relationships to guide her and I believe that she will suffer if the nature of the bond that the both of you share were to change. And by extension, so would we all."

Chakotay could not believe his ears. His face was the picture of shock. Tuvok's face was, as it always was

"If that's all Commander?"

Chakotay managed to nod his head.

Silently Tuvok left.

B'Elanna had become separated from Tom as they moved about the mess hall talking to friends. And at one time she found herself alone on the couch watching all the other people around her. She was still a little frazzled by what she had witnessed on the Bridge. B'Elanna had always considered the Captain, a little larger than life and to see her act in such a manner was making her head spin with the implications.

She had watched the Captain the entire time on the bridge and could have sworn that she was watching herself. B'Elanna knew the rage that the Captain operating in because she also felt it in herself…often. A couple of months ago, she had watched another be so consumed by rage that he was intent on destroying anyone and everyone, including innocent beings as well the people who had destroyed him. Looking into his eyes, understanding his rage and communing with it made her realize that she didn't want to be carrying the amount of anger that she was at all times. And she had taken certain tentative steps to ensure that she wouldn't.

But her rage and that of the Vihaar, the Malon core worker who had been mutated by the Theta radiation of the Core of their ships, was red hot. When it exploded, things and people were harmed physically. Their rage was loud and disruptive. But the rage of the Captain ran white hot. It was cold and calculating, merciless and brutal and being on the Bridge, she understood more than a lot of people how it almost destroyed them all.

And that this incident had occurred in the midst of finding out that someone she had been intimate in the Academy with was a cold blooded killer. In the midst of finding out that human beings, Starfleet officers were capable of genocide in the name of survival. She didn't know what to think. The people who embraced the ideals that she had held up so high and had judged herself so unworthily to emulate, were not as perfect as she thought. What was the Captain going to do when she dealt with the aftermath of her rage? Would she be like B'Elanna was in the past and feed it by getting angry with herself and continue the vicious cycle? Or would the Captain deal with it constructively like she was trying to deal with it now? Would it be as hard for the Captain as it was for her? One person would be able to tell her for sure. But she couldn't ask, because as a private man, the one thing that Chakotay respected above all else was the privacy of another. But she would love to know.

And what about the Captain and her First Officer? Would the crew be in for another round of months of strained relationship as it was two years ago? She didn't think that she could stand that and she knew that the rest of the crew couldn't either. They had grown so accustomed to being a family and to know that your parents were fighting, especially the silent fights….

Well on that thought……

B'Elanna got up and made her way out of the mess hall.

As she was coming out, she ran into Chakotay on the way in.

"Whoa, what's your hurry?" Chakotay caught her by the arm in order to steady her.

"Nothing really, just wanted to take a walk."

"Not staying?" B'Elanna saw the lines cross his forehead. She smiled; he really was like a father sometimes.

"I think I'll go down to the Holodeck for a while"

Chakotay nodded and didn't ask anything more, but as he turned to enter the Mess Hall, B'Elanna asked impulsively,

"Join me?"

"Sure" Chakotay didn't hesitate.

Together they walked down the corridor to the turbolift. B'Elanna wasn't sure why she invited Chakotay to come with her. Maybe she just wanted to be in his presence for some time. Maybe it was just to remind herself that he was still there and still part of their journey. She didn't want to think about being on Voyager without him at his rightful place on the bridge. It was strange to hear Tuvok being the Captain's conscience and though she supposed that had been his function early on, it wasn't that right now, especially on the bridge. That role, that right belonged to Chakotay and once he was there, then she knew that he would always be helping the Captain looking out for the crew. And by extension looking out for her.

Before he realized it, they reached the Holodeck. Chakotay looked questioningly at B'Elanna.

"Did you have anywhere in particular in mind?"

"Actually no. I guess I was going to decided when I got here."

"You mind?" He gestured at the controls.

"No, go right ahead."

"Computer run program Chakotay alpha 4."

"Acknowledged. Program in progress. Enter when ready."

It was a beautiful planet, almost like Earth, or maybe it was Earth. And from the look of the vegetation, and the feel of the atmosphere, it was Spring. But where it might have been pleasant for Chakotay, dressed as she was, it was a little too chilly for B'Elanna. She shivered a bit and rubbed her bare arms.

"Here" Chakotay removed his jacked and offered it to her and she took it willingly. They walked in silence for a little while each lost in their own thoughts until they came to the end of the path. There in the clearing was a log bench which overlooked a valley. B'Elanna imagined that the view was quite breathtaking at sunset as the valley and subsequent hills would form the perfect backdrop.

Chakotay motioned her to the bench and they sat. B'Elanna tucked her legs under her and Chakotay turned slightly towards her. Something was troubling her and though she had planned to walk by herself to let her thoughts come out, she saw him and invited him along because in truth she wanted to bounce this off of him.

"Want to talk about it?" He enquired.

"Well that's different from the last time something like this happened."

"What are you talking about?"

"Two years ago, when we had just entered Borg Space." Realization dawned on Chakotay and for one brief moment he wished that he hadn't joined B'Elanna. This was something he didn't think he was ready to talk about.

B'Elanna was looking at him now and she saw that he was decidedly a little more uncomfortable when she made that statement.

"I remember during that time you were so angry at the Captain that I was the one who got yelled at."

Chakotay gave a fleeting smile. He did remember. "It's different this time, B'Elanna." He said gently, but the expression on his face was a serious one. At that B'Elanna said,

"Yes it is Chakotay. I have never seen the Captain so angry, so consumed, so possessed by rage. There were times when I thought….this was it, we were done for. Do you know how long it's been since I've felt that way. Actually…" B'Elanna smiled ruefully. "The last time was when we entered Borg Space."

She looked amazed at the revelation. Chakotay wasn't

"I missed you on the Bridge the most during the last battle" Chakotay nodded and this time here was a faint ghost of a smile playing on his lips. And they were silent for a little while longer. B'Elanna looked down and began tracing a pattern out on the wood of the bench. She started to say something and then stopped, unsure of herself. But then with a look of resolve, she fixed her eyes on him and continued to speak her mind.

"I know that I've been angry at the world a lot and I've always thought that my anger was the worst because of my Klingon side. The fact is that I've always fought it, I've always fought myself and I know Chakotay that I've come close to letting my anger consume me. But it was nothing like what I saw in the Captain. Or was it? Chakotay, she scared the crap out of me. Is that how I come across when I'm angry? I mean, I know it's different. I get loud while the Captain gets quiet, but are the effects the same?"

"And if they are?" Chakotay gently prodded.

"I'm going to have to step up my efforts to do something. I never want a member of my Engineering team to feel the way I felt on the Bridge."

"Well then I guess that what we went through wasn't in vain, if you've come to that conclusion."

"I still wish it didn't happen, especially if Voyager's top two Officers are going to be the way they were last time. Because if they are, then I wish that I had never laid eyes on the Equinox and we were still alone in this stupid quadrant."

B'Elanna said it with such conviction that Chakotay was slightly taken aback. What happened on the Bridge had affected B'Elanna deeply and with that he was beginning to believe that it would be affecting all the Senior Officers in the same manner.

"B'Elanna," his hand covered hers. "I know that it seemed bad, but it's not like the last time. And to answer your unspoken question, the Captain and I are OK, I am still the First Officer on this ship.' He said this with a smile as a way to diffuse the tense situation.

"That, in and of itself, is not enough and you know it." B'Elanna looked directly at him and her intensity caused his eyes to look downwards.

"Don't give up on her Commander for all our sakes."

As she uttered those words he did look up. B'Elanna had an almost pleading look in her eyes. The scrutiny of each other's gaze lasted for about a minute before B'Elanna said,

'I think we'd better get back. Thanks for the coat."

Chakotay called for the exit as she gave him his coat, and he shelved the New Earth program for another day.

"Harry, have you seen B'Elanna?"

"I saw her leave with Chakotay."

Tom's brows furrowed not only because of the information that he had just heard, but also because of the manner that Harry had relayed it. It was something stated as a matter of fact with an edge in his voice and Tom knew why. Through both of their minds the thought…

Not again

Ran through.

They had been here before. But unknown to Harry, a different thought was running through Tom's mind and it was one he knew he was going to act upon. He just had to figure out how.

He clasped Harry on the back and said earnestly. "We made it Harry, remember that and we're going to be OK just like the last time." Harry looked a little puzzled before he realized what Tom was talking about.

"I hope you're right"

"I know I am." He communicated his commitment through his eyes for a moment and then his gaze fell a little left of his shoulder onto the Equinox five.

They were still together, but the Doctor, Neelix and a few of the other junior officers had been drawn into their circle. He had noticed throughout the night that some of the crew, who would normally mingle freely among strangers kept their distance. But that was to be expected. What was important was that the senior members of the crew did make an effort to show the former Equinox members that they were expected to become part of this family; especially the two top Officers.

"Why don't you go and talk to Tassoni. I heard that he's a great hoverball player."

"Really?" Harry's eyes lit up at that and he started to move towards the group. He stopped before he reached three steps away from Tom.

"Thanks"

"Anytime." There was a smile on Tom's face.

Tom walked outside the mess hall looking for B'Elanna. He had been eating and talking to Gerron and Chell for an hour when he realized that she hadn't come back. As he stepped outside, he saw B'Elanna and Chakotay coming back from wherever they went. Chakotay was whispering something to her and she laughed out lout. He was smiling also watching her with amusement. Tom tried to, but he couldn't keep it down. He felt pangs of jealousy at the sight of the two of them and it darted across his face before he could force a smile on. Both B'Elanna and Chakotay saw it.

Chakotay realized what was going through the younger man's head and he moved to allay his fears even though they both knew that they were irrational.

"Looks like someone missed you…….Don't mind me, Tom. I just needed to borrow my friend for a while."

"As long as she didn't mind, then I don't."

"I didn't." And with that B'Elanna went straight into his arms and kissed him.

"If you'll excuse me……." Chakotay said to no one in particular, grinning. No one was listening to him.

"Harry, how are you?"

"Fine Captain and you?"

"We've been through a lot in the past few days, but from what I can see we'll be just fine."

"I was just talking to some of the Equinox crew about their other experiences in the Delta Quadrant and what it was like serving under Ransom. The strange thing is they all had a healthy respect for Ransom and somewhere down the line they lost it, even before they ran into these aliens."

"They may have had reason to. I think that Ransom was sliding down a long time before he made the decision about using the aliens for fuel."

"One thing these members of the Equinox do agree on though, is that Max Burke was no help to him."

"They told you that outright?"

"No in so many words, but I could read between the lines."

"You know Captain, they made me realize how lucky Voyager's been. Not so much in the races we've encountered or experiences we've had, but in the fact that you and Commander Chakotay have been guiding us through our journey in this Quadrant."

"Oh?" Kathryn's face was neutral.

"I get the feeling that if they had a First Officer like the Commander, maybe they would have made it, but even if they had perished, they would have never lost their souls in the name of survival."

"Really?'

"We've been lucky,….I've been lucky to serve under two people whom I respect greatly and who have given me good example of how to command others."

Kathryn stared at Harry, who suddenly looked uncomfortable after saying what he had to say.

"It you will excuse me Captain, I think I'm going to get something to eat." And with that he was gone leaving the Captain alone with her thoughts.