One to Five!
((Author's Note: I see on the T.V. about all the stupid commercials out there. So, with the help of Inu and the crew, they'll make fun of these commercials in the most stupidest ways. I chose some of these, because they're either just plain stupid... They didn't make sence... I heard them wrong... Or, that they just didn't... They just looked rediculous. You'd probably reconize some of these commercials, if you watch T.V in the North American continent... Or, if you somehow can watch T.V from that continent even when you don't live there... Same thing... Well, if you know of any st-oo-pid commercials, e-mail them to me (my e-mail is on my user-page-thingy), and I 'll see if I can 'translate' them with the Inu crew. Well, R and R! Enjoy!))
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Number One:
(( This makes fun of Barbie. If you like Barbie and get really emotional when someone makes fun of your girly dolls, don't read this. x.x ))
"Oh. My. Gawd," Shippou, Miroku and Inuyasha's eyes widened, as they gaped at the newest Barbie toy.
"IT'S POTTY-FUN SOUTA!" Miroku screetched happily, like a five-year-old girl would when she saw a new Barbie. "OH MY GAWD! IT COMES WITH A BOTTLE WITH REAL FAKE WATER! AND A LITTLE SHITTER!"
"Eiiiiee!" Inuyasha screetched, also. "And it comes with his big sister, Kagome! Sweet! Kagome now comes with blow-up-able implants!" It shows quick close-ups on Kagome's bust.
"That's right!" Spoke Sesshoumaru, the spokesperson for the new 'Kagome and Souta' Barbie line. "It's Potty-Fun Souta! You can fill 'em up with the bottle (which is adoribly decorated with balls from his favorite sport, Soccer!), put him over the little shitter, squeeze him, and then the real fake water will come out! Yay!"
"Let's give it a try!" Shippou grabbed the tiny little Souta-toy from the shelf, Inuyasha grabbed the little shitter, and Miroku grabbed the real fake water. The three (also, followed by Sesshoumaru) went to a convieniently close-by table, set everything up, then all leaned in close to see what would happen.
Miroku squirted the bottle of real fake water into Souta's mouth, then after a moment (he needed a moment to 'digest'), Shippou squeezed his stomach. The real fake digested water came out into the little shitter.
"Yaaay!" All four of them cheered.
"So, yes! It's a great toy! Buy it! It's only 1, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo yen!" Sesshoumaru giggled. (That's 1 billion dollars American, sorry that I put o's instead of zeros. I don't think lots and lots of numbers work on here... Eh.)
"Yay! Potty-Fun Souta!" Everoyne cheered.
Number Two:
((If you like YuGiOh, you might want to skip this one. x.x ))
"Yu'Gay'Oh!" Boomed Naraku and Kagura, holding up the new Yu'Gay'Oh action figures. "You can duel like a bastard!"
"Yahh!" Shippou threw a Yu'Gay'Oh card on the ground. "I call Obeese, the Fat Tormenter!"
"Ohh nooo!" Souten did a fake gasp. ((If you don't remember Souten, she's the 'leader' of the Thunder Demon Tribe)) "Well, too bad, little fox! That's no match to my Obeese, the Fat Tormenter!"
"What? I just drew that one."
"Really? Damn!"
"And it comes with Duel Gear!" Kagura appeared out of what seemed like no where.
"Wow!" Naraku gasped. "It's really useless!"
"Yu'Gay'Oh!" Everyone yelled. "You can duel like a bastard!"
"For a limited time only! Buy it where the sun don't shine!" Announced Sesshoumaru, also appearing out of no where.
Number Three:
((This makes fun of Horror movie commercials... None, in praticular, though. But if you like these commercials-- Wait, of course you don't! n.n ))
"Now..." Naraku said in a deep, menacing voice from somewhere that he couldn't be seen. "...Fear this movie... Thing..."
"Ahh!" Screamed Kagome, obviously faking it. Dark surrounded her, with a stupid looking doll in the middle.
"...Coming... This... Er... Line?" Naraku paused. "...Uh... Spring..."
"OH. MY. GAWD," Inuyasha heavily panted, an extremely fake 'scared' look on his face. Then, it showed a close up on a stupid looking doll (Which looked like Kero from CardCaptor Sakura).
"...A movie so stupid-- I mean, scary... That you'll... FREAK OUT!" Naraku continued to narrate.
"ACK!" Miroku screamed, just like a little girl.
The words 'ANGRY AGH' popped up in white text (probably size one million...) on the black background.
"'Angry Agh'... Coming soon to your nearest garbage can this winter! I mean... Summer... Uh, no... Spring."
Number Four:
(( You've heard of Claritin or however it's spelt, right? This makes fun of that stuff. I mean, come on! Their commercials are rediculous! But what I say in the following commercial is NOT TRUE. o.o ))
"AA... CHOO!" Fakely sneezed Rin. "Uh, Ma--... No... Ses...Sessh... Sesshoumaru, I think I'm allergic to something!" Rin wasn't exactly used to not calling Sesshoumaru without 'Lord' at the beginning, or 'sama' at the end.
"Didn't you take Claritin, you stupid, silly girl?" Jaken asked, shaking his head.
"No... What's that?"
"Why, Rin, you don't know?" Sesshoumaru asked to not Rin, but the camera. Rin shook her head, also looking at the camera. "Claritin helps you with your allergies, and it also fights off cooties!"
A drunk Kagura stumbles on the sceen. Half her kimono was lowered, nearly to her elbow. "Yeah!" Hiccup. "If Claritin didn't help me with cooties, I'd be..." Hiccup. "...Seriously hospipipitalised for diddly!"
"Right..." Jaken said slowly. "But, you can't take it if you have some conditions. Such as..." Jaken started to talk in a lower voice. "...You can't take it if you're allergic to allergies, stupid, fat, bald, ugly, have heart conditions, if you have eyes, if you are alive, and if you are allergic to the allergies of Claritin." Jaken took a deep breath.
"Yes," Sesshoumaru nodded. "And it has some side effects too." Also, Sesshoumaru started to speak in a lower voice. "...Such as, it can make you fat, buld and-or stupid... It makes you shrink where the sun don't shine, it can make you blind, stop your heart, turn you uglier than you are right now, and make you attracted both psyically and sexually to bugs and rocks."
"Other than all that," Rin continued. "It can help you from your allergies, so you don't sneeze at everything, like me!" Rin snatched the Claritin bottle from Jaken. "Gimme!" She opened the bottle and choked the whole, full bottle down. "Wow! I feel better!" Her face then started to practically desindigrate. "Yay!"
"Yay!" Everyone else cheered... Except for Kagura, who hiccuped.
Number Five:
(( Ew, you know those nasty 'Tasty Tatters' or 'Taders' or whatever? Well I hate them. They taste like shit! Pardon my french, but, they frickin' do! A lot of people like them, though, so if you like them, ignore this last commercial. n.n; ))
"Yummy, yum yum!" Bankoutsu rubbed his stomach to the rest of the Shinchinintai. "Tasty Turds sure are tasty! In the nasty way!"
"Yay!" The rest of the Shinchinintai cheered.
"Ooh, Tasty Turds, make you want to huuurll!" Shippou started to sing, out of no where.
"Yeah they do, but they make you fill to the toooppp!" Kagome sang, also popping out of no where.
"...Until you drop... Your load!" Everyone else, like Sango, Miroku, Inuyasha and such, sang. The tune in the background came to a stop.
"Wow, they even look like real turds!" Rin pointed at the newly cooked plate of Tasty Turds. "Phew, phew... They smell like them, too."
"I wonder how they taste!" Inuyasha reached out to the disgusting plate of Tasty Turds. He bit into it, stopped, tried to prevent himself from cringing, then gulped it down. "...Wow... This tastes like... Like..."
Everyone leaned in close to hear what he was about to say.
"...Deep fried frick'!" He finally announced, spitting it on the ground. "Augh, that was awful!"
"No shit, Shirlock, they're Tasty Turds!" Everyone giggled. "Yaaay!"
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((Author's Note: Well, I hope you enjoyed that. The second batch of five stupid-ass commercials will be up-posted soon! n.n And don't forget to R and R! I hope you enjoyed wasting your life on this:D ))