…Disclaimer: We don't own Star Wars. We are not George Lucas…

…Acknowledgments: Co-written with Seylin. Inspired by George Lucas' film, Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith…

…Warnings: Slash (Obi-WanxAnakin, implied Qui-GonxObi-Wan)…

…Rating: R/NC-17 (Please view Seylin's page for a link to the full version.)…

…Summary: Anakin's black and white world of the Jedi way has been stripped away by Palpatine's corruption. After the battle on Mustafar, Obi-Wan and Yoda are determined to get it back for him. But, with Padmé gone, will Anakin be willing to hear them out at all? The Jedi will need help, if they plan to save their Chosen One, and Senator Amidala has left them with exactly the help they need…

...Archive: Go for it, just ask first...

...Aubrey's Crap: -snickers- Oh my God...Anakin is an ASSHOLE in this chapter. XD But, that's okay. We love him anyway, ne? Wow...we're more than halfway done with this thing being uploaded...I am seriously impressed with myself here, folks. Well, anywho, here's the next chapter. Bar natural or personal desaster, Chapter 7 should be out on the 8th...

Monochrome Shatter
Chapter 6: Seek & Find

2 hours later

The first thing that came to mind even before he opened his eyes was a dull throbbing pain. Slowly he blinked, closing his eyes back and then opening them again. The brightness of the lights in the room hurt his eyes from where they had been closed so long. Turning his head slightly he had to smile when he saw Anakin sitting there in meditation and Luke still sleeping against him.

The slight...well, okay, not so slight, shift in the Force brought Anakin out of it, though. Apparently, he hadn't been as deep in his meditation as he'd seemed. When he saw the other's eyes open, though, it took literally all of his Jedi acquired restraint to not drop Luke, and go run over and hug him.

"M...Master...?" He stammered instead, worried that he might have fallen asleep, and was just dreaming. Obi-Wan smiled at him as well as winced a bit.

"Hello, Anakin."

It looked like he might have smiled, for a moment, but that dropped down to a frown quickly enough.

"What took you so long? Do you have any idea how hard it is to try and use the Force for hours on end, like that?"

"I did not tell you to. And I needed some convincing to return," Obi-Wan answered.

"But, you knew I would." He rolled his eyes a bit. "Come on, Obi-Wan. Even Master Qui-Gon tried to get me to stop."

"I know. We spoke. I was very worried for you, you could have hurt yourself, Anakin," Obi-Wan scolded.

"Could not have," He argued, and he had to resist the urge to stick his tongue out. "I know what I'm doing." That was a blatant lie..."I wouldn't have strained myself too much." Probably another blatant lie.

"Stop lying, Anakin. After I recover I will tell you more about what you did," Obi-Wan told him.

"I know what I did...I think." He frowned a little, another lie. He really should stop that... "I just used the Force, right? I believe the Chancellor would have called it a...'Jedi mind trick'?" Obi-Wan closed his eyes for a moment pushing the throbbing pain, coming from somewhere out of his mind.

"There is more to it than that, Anakin. You did something dangerous, but something I am also thankful for." Anakin raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Are you going to tell me what that was?"

"After I recover." Was the answer.

"Let me guess." He smirked teasingly. "'Patients, Padawan'?" Obi-Wan smirked.

"How did you guess?"

"Because, it's what you always say."

"Do you ever get truly tired of hearing it?" He asked.

"Well...no..." He admitted slowly. "But, from anyone else, I would." This caused Obi-Wan to chuckle and suck in a breath. His ribs protested against the action.

"I want to bring Palpatine back to life just so I could kill him or watch you do it," he muttered.

"I killed him really well, for you," Anakin assured him, with a smug grin. "Choked him, then cut his head off."

"Good," he sighed.

"And, I scared him, too." Quoting your adversary seemed like a good way to do that... "Just for you. That you can feel special over." Well...he'd scared him for Obi-Wan. Half of that kill had gone toward avenging Padmé, too. Obi-Wan smiled.

"She would be proud of you, Anakin."

His expression fell noticeably.

"No, she wouldn't be," he protested, moving Luke slightly. "She'd tell me I was letting my emotions get the best of me. Then she'd probably try to get me to get the Senators to sign some petition, or whatever, and get Palpatine to say he's sorry, or whatever 'diplomatic solution' she'd decided she liked that day..."

"Would be kind of hard to get him to say that he was sorry..."

"Don't tease my analysis, Master," Anakin ordered dryly. "It is noted and unappreciated."

"I wasn't. I was being serious."

"Uh huh..." He nodded sarcastically. "Rest up. You owe me an explanation. Soon."

"Would you do me a favour Anakin?"

"Depends on what it is." He conditioned dryly.

"Call a medical droid, to rest as you have ordered, I will need something for the pain I am currently trying to ignore," he answered.

"Sure." He confirmed, getting up, and setting Luke back down in the chair, then going out into the hall, to find that droid and get that done.

The droid was making its rounds checking on the other patients when it felt Anakin approach.

"Master Anakin, can I do anything for you?"

"Obi-Wan's awake," he stated, with a small nod, to its question. "But, he's in a lot of pain. He needs some pain killers for that."

"Good, good. I will return in a few moments with his medication," the droid told him.

"Thank you." Anakin bowed slightly to him, before returning to the room. "I found a droid that says it'll bring some medicine soon, Master," he informed the older man simply.

"Thank you, Anakin," Obi-Wan thanked him.

"No problem." He shrugged, going back over to his chair, and picking Luke back up. "I need you healthy."

"Looks like I will finally have time to do things I have been putting off," Obi-Wan mused.

"Such as?" He wondered curiously.

"I must rewrite the rules of the Order, I would trust Yoda but he would just confuse everyone with his backward words. You need your curtain still put up to your room. Start teaching Luke to speak better, he cannot use telepathy his whole life," Obi-Wan answered.

"Fair enough," he admitted, with a snort. "Although...it might make his dating life easier to monitor..." He noted idly, but then just brushed that idea off. "What new rules did you have in mind?"
"I have to sit down and think about it, then it would be propose to Yoda, who would then tell me what he would like changed, I would rewrite it and then you would read it to tell me what you as an outsider thought," he explained.

"Sure." He confirmed with a small nod. "But, as a small suggestion, you might want to cut out the whole 'no love' thing."

"That thought has already been brought to my attention." The medical droid entered carrying a needle that held the pain killer asked for.

"It is most pleasing to see you wake Master Kenobi," the droid commented.

"It's good to be back," he replied watching as the droid shot the medication into one of his IV's.

"Rest up, Master," Anakin advised, closing his eyes to get back to his meditation. "I'm going to interrogate you more later."

"Sounds like fun," Obi-Wan said slowly as his eyes closed, the medication quickly putting him to sleep.

Anakin decided it might be prudently to hold off on trying to find Obi-Wan again, in the Force, until he knew what he was doing. So, he did. He waited, and waited, and waited. For two solid weeks, he waited, until Obi-Wan finally deemed to explain.

"What you did is called Seeking. The Force allows you to contact someone whose mind is lost; they are still alive but just lost deep in the recesses of one's mind. The reason it is dangerous is because if you search for someone to far you can get lost yourself. It also uses bits of your own life force to make the search focus stronger," Obi-Wan explained.

"Oh..." He blinked thoughtfully. "It worked, though." And, that explained why he'd been so tired, afterwards.

"It did, but I would advise you not to do it again. As strong as you are, Anakin, even the strongest of warriors can get lost Seeking. I did it once..."

"I can't think of an occasion I would need it again for, Master." Anakin pointed out mildly. "Can you?"

"I would hope you will never feel the need to," he replied.

"Exactly." Anakin nodded to him, with a small smile. "So, no worrying about me, Master. I really can take care of myself."

"I believe it Anakin but I cannot help but worry, I know. I have tried not to. It never works." Anakin snorted a little, and changed the subject.

"You're going to be discharged soon?"

"They haven't told me anything. My ribs have stopped hurting though so that is a good sign," he answered.

"Mmmhmm..." He nodded. Luke wasn't with him that day. He'd been growing bored with the hospital, so he was at home with R2 and Larisa.

"Have you gotten any jobs yet?"

"I wouldn't know," he admitted idly. "I've been here with you. And, not at home, to take any calls."

"I'm fine now. You cannot use me as your reason for staying," Obi-Wan replied. Anakin rolled his eyes slightly.

"I'll go check today." He promised. "Soon, even."

"Good."

"It won't take long to catch up anyway." He shrugged a bit. "I'll check tonight, and if I have any, get to work tomorrow."

"Be..." he started to say 'careful' but at the look Anakin gave him he stopped. "Can I give you one piece of advice without getting an annoyed look from you?"

"Sure." He agreed, with a nod. "You were my teacher. Teach away."

"Do not repeat past mistakes." He didn't elaborate but then again he didn't need to. Anakin's eyes left him, and locked onto the floor.

"I'm not going to lose myself again, Master," he promised softly.

"That's good to know. I would not want to try Seeking you, at times I fear what lies in that mind of yours," Obi-Wan said softly. He had his own fears about Seeking, if it were not for Yoda he would have lost himself one time when Qui-Gon had hurt himself badly, before they met Anakin.

"That...wasn't what I meant," Anakin admitted. "But, I promise not to do that either."

"I know, Anakin, I just did not want to think of the other."

"I'm going to be fine, Obi-Wan." Anakin offered him a sincere smile. "I've seen the light, I've seen the dark. Having had both experience in both areas, the light's better."

"It's defiantly easier to see in," Obi-Wan joked.

"Ha ha..." Anakin eyed him dryly. "You should be a comedian." Obi-Wan smiled.

"Go check on your messages, Anakin. I will call you if anything happens."

"Right, right." He nodded, getting up from his chair. It was probably for the best that he'd decided to be contracted...He'd never have the discipline to hold down a steady job, he realized, as he wrapped his cloak tighter around himself, against the chilly night air outside, and headed back for the apartment he and Obi-Wan and Luke shared.

As it turned out, there were several messages left for him. All from the same person, and each more irrationally irritated than the last. With a groan, Anakin finally hit the call return button, and waited to see if his customer would actually pick up.

"Cirainus Laure," came the agitated reply. Anakin examined the holo-scan blue ghost of this Cirainus Laure, and decided that it was, in fact, the same being.

"Anakin Skywalker," He informed him, almost idly. "You contacted me. Repeatedly." Cirainus growled.

"Where the hell have you been! If you damn mercenary's can't get the job done you ought to not offer your services!"

"I had a personal emergency that required my attention." Anakin brushed that off. "Just give me the target. I'll have it done within the hour." Cirainus studied his own blue image of Anakin.

"Sure of yourself you are..." Cirainus mused. "I like that. Alright this is what I want you to do..." He explained to Anakin in elaborate detail just how and to whom he wanted these things done. Anakin listened patiently, before speaking.

"The Jedi Council couldn't tell me how to carry out my assignments." He informed the alien in an almost teasing tone. "I'll get it done, but just what makes you think you can?"

Cirainus studied him once again. "Never have I met one as you. Fine, do as you see fit. Just get the job done."

"That's my only promise," Anakin assured him with a nod. "Was there anything else?"

"No. Once I have the notice that the job is completed your money will be sent to you," Cirainus replied.

"Fair enough." He agreed, before pressing the button that would end the transmission, and checking his lightsaber real quick, before setting out for the location he'd been giving. Then, all there was to do was wait. The Force would keep the target still, and his lightsaber would do most of the work. (Or, he could just choke him. Maybe he'd use his Jedi mind influence to make him kill himself...that would be fun...) Either way, the entire job should take about five minutes, once he got there.

Obi-Wan stared out the window at the lights of the city, a pad of paper and pen lay on the table across his lap. Notes for the new Order's rules written on it.
And, completely unbeknownst to him, a few buildings away, Anakin was having a glorious time, with his job assignment. He'd decided to just play around with the Force for this one. He'd practice with his lightsaber next time. And, a few minutes later, he was heading back to the apartment, to inform Laure that it was finished.

"Good," Cirainus smiled, folding his fingers under his chin. "You will have your money within the next two days."

"See that I do," Anakin warned him pleasantly. "Because, I'm perfectly willing to hunt you down over it, if I need to." Then, he hung up again. It wasn't too late; he wanted to go back and brag to Obi-Wan a bit.

Obi-Wan looked back around the room coming from his daze as he felt Anakin approaching.

"First job is complete." Anakin stretched idly, coming back into the room. "And pay is on the way from it."

"How was your first client? Rude as I hear they are?" He questioned.

"I have a feeling he would have been more polite, if I'd returned his call three days ago, when he started trying to reach me..." He decided, moving back over to his chair, and plopping down into it. "But, I finished quickly, so he seemed pleased enough."

"Good. Luke with Larisa again?"

"Yep," he confirmed, then turned a teasing eye into his former master. "Which reminds me...Papa?"

"Hm?" Obi-Wan gave him his own questioning look.

"Luke. He called you Papa." Anakin reminded him with amusement. "Where'd that come from?"

"Oh... I really don't know. He just started calling me that, I think he really believes it just as much as he believes you are his father," Obi-Wan answered.

"Well...that's all fine and well, but I actually AM his father. So, it's not nearly as funny."

"You find it funny?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Mildly amusing," he amended, still smirking slightly. "You strike me more as the uncle, than the father type."

Obi-Wan shrugged. "I kind of like it," he mused.

"I never said you couldn't." Anakin shrugged a big, slumping into a sort of lounging position in his seat. "It's...cute...actually..." He frowned a little. It seemed like a bad choice of words, somehow...

Obi-Wan laughed. "Cute?" He continued to laugh.

"Hey," he scowled at being laughed at. "No laughing. I'm supposed to be making fun of you." Obi-Wan's laughed died down to a chuckle and then nothing except a smile.
"I'm sorry, but what you said was funny. Why is it you always get on me when I laugh?"

"I don't," he muttered defensively. "I just 'get on' you, when you laugh at me."

"I don't laugh at you, just things you say... sometimes how you say them."

"It's the same difference." He shrugged a little, his moody outlook setting back in. "Don't you think you teased me enough when I couldn't defend myself against you?"

"Don't get upset, Anakin. Please, you're more fun to be with when you're happy," Obi-Wan sighed.

"Happy?" He blinked, turning his gaze back to him, raising a disbelieving eyebrow. "Happy? I haven't been happy since Padmé told me she was pregnant!" Obi-Wan's expression fell.

"I'm sorry Luke and myself mean so little to you then," he said quietly and turned away.

"You're not Padmé." He shrugged, as though that should be explanation enough. "Even while she was still alive, I couldn't seem to make myself be happy, because I knew she was going to die..." He sighed, and shook his head. "So, I tried to stop it from happening. I wouldn't have gone to Palpatine at all, if the Council had granted me Mastership, so I could access the stupid archives..."

"I could have helped you Anakin. Had you only asked..."

"No you couldn't have," he offered Obi-Wan an appalled look. "I couldn't have told you! Be serious! I would have been kicked out of the Order, and you know she would have been removed from the Senate. That was the last thing she wanted."

"I would have done it for you Anakin," Obi-Wan replied still not looking at him.

"Why?" He raised an eyebrow curiously. "Master Qui-Gon had no problem breaking the Code--you told me that once--but you always did. Why would you have broken so much of it for me?" Obi-Wan could have burned a hole through the wall if he had that power. Finally he sighed, there was no turning back now.

"Because of what I told you on Mustafar." It was nothing more than a whisper.

"I thought Jedi weren't allowed to love."

"They are now," he answered pushing the pad of paper on the table towards him. Anakin read through the new rules with idle interest, before tossing it back at him.

"Very nice. I'm still not rejoining the Order."

"I wouldn't want you to. It would be to much to deal with."

"I'm not...cut out to be a good Jedi anyway," he muttered, with another shrug. "I couldn't follow the Code even when it was active...I broke it so much they're still trying to glue it back together." Obi-Wan couldn't hide his smile.

"That is true." Anakin shook his head a little more, and got back to topic, before he could stray further.

"Why do you love me, Obi-Wan?" He wondered with almost professionally detached interest. "I've never done anything to deserve it, so why?"

"You're my opposite. Call me crazy but..." He couldn't bring himself to say 'it's hot' although he was thinking it.

"You actually believe that whole opposites attract thing?" Anakin raised his eyebrow further, incredulously. "Seriously?"

"My first crush was my opposite as well," he replied. Anakin was dead silent for several minute, and he didn't move at all. When he did speak again, it was fairly obvious he wasn't being entirely serious.

"Then why in the name of the Force did you chop me up?"

"I prefer slicing and dicing," Obi-Wan smiled.

"No." His former padawan shook his head dryly. "No, that was defiantly chopping."

"You were going to kill me Anakin. I couldn't let you do that, you would have lost everyone you loved then," Obi-Wan explained.

"I guess..." He agreed slowly, leaning his head back against the armrest, and closing his eyes. He was tired, but he kept talking anyway. "But, to be perfectly honest, if it weren't for you, I'm not sure I would have cared. The dark side does weird stuff to your mind."

"You should sleep, Anakin. You won't be able to do your jobs if you're to tired," Obi-Wan told him.

"Still tired from trying to find you," Anakin informed him absently, slowly obeying right there, sprawled out in the chair. He didn't care if it wasn't comfortable. "And...don't feel too bad...it's not your fault...I just don't remember how to be happy anymore..." He added groggily, before throwing his mental shields up, and falling asleep completely. Obi-Wan smiled and slowly got up and pulled a blanket off the bed covering him.

"Sleep well, Anakin," he whispered. The only response he got was mumbled out, barely audible. But, the basic effect was 'I love you too, Master'. Not that Anakin would admit it when he was awake, but more than half asleep, it was fine!

The next morning...

Anakin felt a firm yet gentle hand on his shoulder shaking gently.

"Anakin... wake up," Obi-Wan called.

"Nnnargh..." Anakin groaned, but he did peek an eye open, after a moment, raising an

eyebrow at the man leaning over him. "What?"

"I'm free to go, come on it'll be better to sleep in your own bed than in this hard chair."

The other smiled down at him. Anakin grunted again, but as gracefully as he could, drew himself out of the chair, his spine popping uncomfortably, he ignored it though, and just followed Obi-Wan out the door.

Once back at the apartment Obi-Wan saw the circles forming under his eyes.

"Go on and sleep. I will go get Luke," he told him.

"Yes, Master." He agreed without even thinking about it. It was far too early to be awake. Obi-Wan watched him go up and then went to Larisa's.

"Master Kenobi, it's so good to see you out of the hospital. How are you feeling?" She asked with a warm smile.

"I am well, much better than I was. I've come to relieve you of Luke," he replied.

"Alright, Master Kenobi. He's asleep right now, he's been sleeping a lot these past couple of days. I believe he may be coming down with something," she explained showing him to Luke's makeshift room.

"Thank you for the warning, Larisa, we will watch him," he promised picking the little boy up. "Thank you again." She waved goodbye before closing the door.

Anakin slept for several more hours, after Obi-Wan returned. He hadn't even bothered to take his cloak, boots, or gloves off. He'd just collapsed onto his bed.

Obi-Wan went to check on Luke, he felt his forehead and frowned at the light fever he had. Turning back he went to get some medicine for him.

"Wake up, Luke... come on," he said quietly. Luke shook his head and slowly blinked at him.

'Papa?' Obi-Wan smiled and nodded.

"Open up, this will make you feel better," he told him holding the spoon of medicine steady. Luke obeyed and then slipped back to sleep holding his teddy bear tightly.

"Something's wrong with him," Anakin stated from the doorway to the nursery, running his fingers through his sleep tousled curls.

"His first cold," Obi-Wan confirmed.

"Do you have medicine for him?"

"Of course. I'm prepared for everything, haven't you learned that by now?" He

questioned with a smile.

"Except getting tossed across the room, into a wall, and then having a large light fixture fall on you, right?" He raised an amused eyebrow, referring to their fight against Dooku.

"I was unconscious... couldn't do much," Obi-Wan replied.

"I was just saying, you weren't prepared, right, my Master?"

"Oh, shut up." Obi-Wan left the room to put the medicine up then, a small scowl gracing his face.

"Hey, if you're allowed to mock me, I'm allowed to mock you." Anakin shrugged, calling after him. "We could get so many sex games out of that Master and Padawan thing..." He noted absently, before turning himself and heading back to his room, to change into some clean clothes. Obi-Wan stopped in his tracks and watched him, unbelieving of what he had just said before chuckling. And, Anakin was perfectly willing to completely ignore him, if he brought it up. He was the only one allowed to bring that up, he decided right then and there.

"Are you hungry?" Obi-Wan questioned looking through the cabinets. 'I need to go to the market,' he thought.

"Mildly," he called back. "But, I'm more filthy. I need to bathe, and change, before I do anything."

"I'll cook something then while you shower. I took one while you were still asleep this morning," Obi-Wan replied.

"Go for it." He waved slightly, as he passed by him, on the way to the shower. Obi-Wan fixed something light since Anakin wasn't that hungry, it was ready when he came out from the shower.

"What would you like to drink?"

"Doesn't matter," he admitted. "Water's fine." Obi-Wan nodded and gave him a glass.

"We need some things so I'm going out to the market. If I'm not back in two hours, Luke needs to be given his medicine," Obi-Wan told him.

"I take back what I told you, about being paternal," Anakin decided dryly. "You're more maternal, I think." Obi-Wan sent him a glare and walked out. "Well, think about it!" Anakin called after him teasingly. "Taking care of the baby, and running around like a good little housewife. If I catch you trying to breast feed him, I'm having you mentally examined."

He was met with nothing but silence.

Luke woke up and started to cry, he was hot and it was hard to breathe. Anakin groaned, sensing his son's discomfort, and getting up to go check on him. It seemed his medicine had worn off...

"Now," he muttered, going back into the kitchen to find the medicine. "Where did Papa put that junk?" After finding the right medicine he went to Luke's room. Luke continued to cry raising his arms up to Anakin.

"You want a hug?" Anakin raised an eyebrow at him, all but shoving the spoonful of medicine under his nose. "Drink up first." Luke took the medicine and then held his hands back up, sniffling. Anakin finally gave in, and picked him up this time.

"Alright, alright." He tried to make it sound like a bigger deal than it actually was. "You win." Luke smiled a little and tucked his head under Anakin's chin, falling back asleep almost immediately, his little hand keeping a tight hold on Anakin's shirt. He was never going to hear the end of this from Obi-Wan, Anakin noted absently, moving into his own room, to lay down on his bed. But, in all honesty, he couldn't care less.

Obi-Wan returned an hour later, he put the food away so he would know where it was, since he did most of the cooking (because Anakin just couldn't cook). He also took out the long curtain he had gotten for Anakin's door and the rod. Quietly he walked down the hall and peeked in smiling. He knocked just to be polite. Anakin and Luke were both out to the world, though. Laying down on the bed, with his sleeping son had made sleep sound rather appealing to the former Jedi Knight, so he'd allowed it to claim him...again. As to not disturb them Obi-Wan just set the curtain and rod inside the door. Turning he went back to the living room, putting on some soft music he sat to work more on the new Order rules.

"Obi-Wan." He heard Anakin speak up a few hours later, as he went past him, to put Luke back to bed. "I like the idea about allowing love, in the Order."

"So do I," Obi-Wan replied not even looking up.

"That's just because you don't want to get yourself kicked out," his former padawan accused wryly. "I bet, if the situation was different, you wouldn't care one way or the other."

"The Order is my life, Anakin, I have known nothing else since I was three. Had things been different I'm sure I would feel differently."

"I'm not sure we're talking about the same things."

"Probably not," Obi-Wan agreed.

"I'm also not sure it matters," Anakin continued, coming back out of the nursery, and eyeing him. "Because, I'm fairly certain I don't love you. So, it doesn't really affect me." Obi-Wan didn't answer, that hurt but he pushed it aside. Anakin's happiness came before his own. Even though...he still wasn't happy. Due mainly in part to, as he'd said before, he didn't remember how to be.

"I'm going out," he stated, when he got no reply. "I'll be back later." Then, he turned, grabbed his cloak, and left. Obi-Wan watched him leave and stood stretching. Now was a good time as ever to put up Anakin's curtain.

To be continued…

Next: Hate To Be In Love