Disclaimer: We don't own SW.

Acknowledgements: C-written with Seylin, inspired by George Lucas' Star Wars Episode III: Revgenge of the Sith.

Aubrey's crap: -Drools- One more chapter, and the Epilogue. Then, it's finished! I'm going to miss this story...it's been good to me. -Cuddles her lovely epic- Anywho, Harry Potter came out an hour and a half ago, from when I'm writting this. P;; So, naturally, I'm giving you a double helping of a Star Wars fic. XD;; To celebrate, of course! (I picked some doozy chapters to celebrate with, too... ) Epilogue will be up within a week, for those of you who love me (I mean...this story) enough to care!

Monochrome Shatter
Chapter 10: When All I Have Is You

One hour later, Obi-Wan returned and turned the lights out before coming into their room to change. He saw the look Anakin gave him.

"Don't even think about asking. I've been sworn to secrecy," he told him.

"What's tomorrow?" He asked anyway, in a dry tone.

"I just told you I can't tell you," Obi-Wan repeated.

"No fair." He frowned a little. "No sex tonight, for you."

"I can't help it Anakin. It's a total secret. Only Yoda and myself know," he said climbing into bed.

"And Leia." He corrected, with a small sniff.

"Well she's the guest speaker so yes, Leia to."

"But, what is she guest speaking for?" Obi-Wan smiled and drew a finger over his lips.

"I can't tell."

"I'm not going to be able to trick you, am I?"

"Highly doubtful," Obi-Wan replied laying down.

"No sex for you for a week," Anakin amended dryly, before rolling over so that his back was to the older man, and closing his eyes. Fine, if Obi-Wan wasn't going to talk, he'd just go to sleep.

"I think you'll change your mind after tomorrow," he whispered and then turned over so that his back to was facing Anakin.

Anakin ignored him, though, to the best of his abilities.

The next morning, he was slightly warmer, but letting up all of none in his sex refusal.

"You'll need to be down in the training rooms around three, and dress nicely. We'll see you then," Obi-Wan told him, he kissed him on the cheek before he and Luke left for classes.

Anakin raised his eyebrows after them, but when the time came, he did obey and show up. He could only dress so nicely, since he still only had his Jedi robes, but he did put on some clean ones.

Leia smiled and came over giving him a hug.

"I'm sorry you can't know, Daddy, but it's a big surprise," she told him with a smile.

"Obviously," Anakin confirmed, with a gentle smile at her, petting her carefully done up hair.

"Oh! I have to go, we're getting ready to start." She quickly went up to the stage. Anakin raised an eyebrow at them, but just sat down in one of the chairs set up, and waited to see what would happen next. Obi-Wan smiled at her and nodded after everyone was seated. "Today I welcome you here for a very special event. Among the students of the Jedi Order, there are two that have surpassed their expected limitations. There is also another man among us, who will gain something as well." She smiled at Anakin and winked. "If Masters Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi would come and join me." Yoda and Obi-Wan stood, each standing on one side of her.

"First, we would like to honor someone who has been a big part of the Order for many years now. Today we recognize him as a Master who will teach piloting to the Padawans, even though he is not currently a real Jedi. Anakin Skywalker," she announced.

Anakin blinked, and almost fell from his chair. Were they saying what he thought they were saying? His eyes flickered up at Obi-Wan, widening in slight alarm. He was really getting Mastership? He'd only wanted to be an instructor, and they were doing this for him?

'Come on Anakin. This is your moment.' Obi-Wan smiled.

'Is this for real?' He wondered, even as he scrambled to his feet. 'You're serious about this?'

'If we weren't, would we be doing it?'

'I'm really getting Mastership?' he continued up to where Leia was standing anyway, even as he went.

"Helped us much you have young Skywalker. The least we could do, it is," Yoda told him. Leia only smiled and pulled out (something that shows they are Masters) and gave it to him.

"I'm so proud of you," she whispered and kissed his cheek. Anakin was speechless for several minutes. Fifteen years of working for this, and it was finally in his grasp, when he'd given up on it completely...

"T...thank you, Master..." He managed to get out, finally. "This is a great honour." Both Yoda and Obi-Wan bowed to him. Leia waited until he gone to sit down again before she once again spoke.

"Now, we shall bring forth the two Padawans that have worked very hard for this honour. Very few have gotten this title so early in life. It is my pleasure to announce that Padawans Derstin and Skywalker are now Jedi Knights. If you will please come forward."

Luke and Ariel both stood although they were both as speechless as Anakin had been. They came forward and bowed to Master Yoda and Obi-Wan.

"Normally this would mean you would be ready to separate from your Masters, and go on missions on your own. But seeing as you have not had Masters that portion of the title will be with held until it is felt you are ready. However you will now begin your apprenticeships. Luke Skywalker, you shall become Master Maeth's apprentice and Ariel Derstin you shall become Master Baon's. I wish you both luck," Leia explained.

Anakin still seemed to be in a state of shock, by the time the ceremony ended. He managed to scrounge up a sincere word of congratulations for his son, but other than that, he was just totally out of it. He couldn't believe this was happening! He wondered if Padmé was watching...and his mother. She would have been so proud of him, if she were still alive... Obi-Wan came over to him smiling.

"Now do you see why I couldn't tell you?"

"Ah...huh..." He replied slowly, nodding in a distracted fashion, before finally snapping back to reality, and glancing up at Obi-Wan. "A wonderful choice of date, too." He smiled slightly. "Exactly twenty-seven years ago today, your ship landed on Tatooine, and Qui-Gon and Padmé found me."

"Did it really? Well I guess you are right. Great present, huh?" Obi-Wan laughed.

"DAD! I DID IT! I DID IT! I MADE KNIGHT!" Luke exclaimed running over to him. Had he been able to fly Anakin was sure he would be soaring.

"I know, I know." Anakin grinned at him, and gave him a congratulatory hug. "Much faster than I did." Luke ran over to Leia and picked her up twirling her around.

"Luke please! Put me down!" She exclaimed through her laughter.

"He sure seems happy," Obi-Wan commented before looking back at Anakin. 'So... does this mean you take back what you said last night, or will I have to put my negotiation skills to use?'

'Consider threat withdrawn.'

"Yeah, he does." Anakin agreed, still smiling slightly. "So, why is it he gets to be a Knight at thirteen, but I had to wait until I was twenty-one?" He wondered, turning a look onto his former master, filled with dry amusement.

"Master Yoda thought it was time. But... you also know that this means he won't be with us anymore. The rule about apprentices living with their Masters has not changed," he said. Anakin turned an little glare on him, and he stood up wordlessly, heading for the door, and mentally tossing at him,

'Threat reinstated.'

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan called running after him.

"No," Anakin shook his head, and just continued to walk away from him. "You don't get to just say you're sorry, and make this better."

"I wasn't going to. You knew this was coming. Besides he'll still be here at the Temple, just not living with us," Obi-Wan replied walking next to him.

"If you were going to grant me Mastership anyway, why couldn't you make me his Master?"

"Anakin,you know as well as I do that it will be better for him for neither of us to be his Master," Obi-Wan insisted.

"I can teach him everything he needs to know." He stopped, and turned an angry look onto his lover. "I was the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy, you pick now to start doubting me?"

"I do not doubt you,Anakin, you should know that I would never doubt you. It is just the way things must be." And with that he turned and went back to the training rooms.

"You're trying to take him away from me!" Anakin shouted after him, an old fury stirring in him. It was an anger he'd let rest more than twelve years before. "But, I won't let you. You will not take anyone else away from me, General!" Then, without another word, he threw up every mental shield he had, and started limping away from him. He wasn't heading for the elevator, to their apartment, though. He was heading for the hanger. Flying was the only thing he knew for a fact would calm him down. Maybe he could rant a bit to R2, as well...

Those words hurt... but Obi-Wan continued walking, there was nothing he could do. It had already been decided.

Anakin reached the hanger, and jumped into the first speeder he saw, taking off away from the Temple. He knew where he could go. He knew for a fact it hadn't been resold, after she'd died. He'd calm down, then go to Padmé's house...it had been a safe haven for him for so long...yes, that would do just fine.

Several hours later, he landed on Senator Amidala's private landing deck, and stumbled inside, collapsing down tiredly to the ground, next to the shut down fountain. It gave him no soothing, tricking rhythm this time.

Minutes passed, then hours, then over a day, and he still didn't move. He started crying, but he didn't move.

Obi-Wan stood by the window, one arm crossed over his chest the other propped on it so that his hand covered his mouth in a worried expression.

'Why didn't I go after him! WHY!' He thought. Luke came up behind him, he to was worried about his father, but he knew Obi-Wan was more so. He hadn't slept since Anakin had disappeared. Sure it was only a day... but what if it turned into more?

"Papa? Are you going to be okay?" He asked coming up behind him. Within the next two days he would be moving in with Master Maeth, he hated it that his father was not there. Obi-Wan turned just as there was a rumble of thunder and the skies started to grow dark.

"I'll be fine Luke... it's your father I'm worried about," he answered and turned back to the window as the rain started to fall.

Anakin did, eventually, move from his spot, when it started to rain, but he didn't move back to the speeder. Far from it, he moved into the bedroom, he and Padmé had once shared, sinking weakly to the floor. All the furniture had been removed, but he still knew this condo like his own Starfighter cockpit.

'Padmé,' he begged miserably into the Force. 'Please, come here. I miss you so much, please come.'

And her presence came, she sat down beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder, very lightly but it was enough.

"I missed you." Anakin repeated, sitting up quickly, and throwing his arms around her materialized spirit. "Feeling you...isn't always enough."

"Anakin? What has happened? The air around you... Obi-Wan... Luke, and Leia, has been thrown into turmoil," she questioned.

"Obi-Wan's trying to take him from me," he informed her, his voice shaking with his tears. "He's trying to...take my little boy away from me. But, I won't let him. He can't do this to me again, Padmé. He can't take anyone else--I won't let him!"

"Obi-Wan would never do such a thing, Anakin. He loves Luke as much as you do. Please explain."

"He...he...and Yoda...finally granted me Mastership..." He began slowly, still crying into her shoulder. "And...they decided...that Luke deserves a real Master. Like Obi-Wan was for me, and Qui-Gon for him. But...did they chose me? No!" A harsh sob broke out, and it took him a moment to recompose himself enough to continue. He didn't even care about his mental blocks enough to keep all his misery from leaking through whichever one it happened to reach first. "They...they're sending him off to live with a complete stranger! They finally make me a Master, but they won't let me teach my own son!"

"Hush... shhh..." She tried to sooth. "Ani... Master Yoda and Obi-Wan are doing what they think is best. Luke has thrived under your and Obi-Wan's teachings... don't you think it will be good to see how he does under someone else?"

"He's my son..." Anakin repeated, shaking his head the least bit. "What makes Obi-Wan think he can still pull this garbage? He's my son! And...he's all I have left that reminds me of you."

"Anakin." She took his face in her hands. "You have Me. Here." She placed a hand on his heart. "And you will always have me."

"I still love you..." He whispered, as though just realizing it himself. "I never stopped--I swear I didn't. I never will. Padmé...I miss you so much, I would gladly die to be with you again...I'd rather have you back than my next ten minutes of oxygen..." His shoulders wracked with his inner turmoil. "And Obi-Wan Kenobi is trying to take the last thing I have of you away from me! The last good thing that we made together! I hate him for it! I wish he would burn!"

Padmé's eyes widened. "Anakin, stop this! Take it back!"

Obi-Wan leaned heavily against the wall, his heart pounding painfully in his chest.

'What is this...' he thought dizzily.

"Papa! What's wrong?" Luke exclaimed running to him. His heart was pounding to, he had had a dream in which he had seen Obi-Wan very sick, he prayed that this wasn't it coming true.

"Why should I?" Anakin demanded, staring at her in disbelief. "Don't tell me you're turning against me again!" He could feel his hurt, and fury, and fear all rising together, bringing a stone cold darkness out of the deepest, locked away pits of his soul. But...he wasn't going to do that again...he wasn't! Was he? "Don't you dare do that to me again, Padmé!"

"I'm not turning against you, Anakin! I never turned against you! The Force is powerful, it will grant your wishes in time. Anger fuels it's power. You will kill him!" She pleaded.

Anakin seemed stunned into silence, by those words. His eyes were also wide, but with shock. He forced the darkness in him to recede, at least a little, and more grief washed over him.

"No..." He groaned, doubling over and burying his hands into his hair. "No...I...I can't! I can't kill anyone ever again! I'll die!" Not literally, of course. Well...he might...But, mostly, he meant that the guilt would eat at him, and he'd eventually mentally decay to nothing at all, but flesh and blood, and pieces of metal.

"Luke... it hurts... I'm losing him... again..." Obi-Wan whispered, he couldn't feel Anakin anymore. The void he was left with threatened to engulf him.

"No, Papa! Don't give into it! Please you can't leave me and dad. I'll...I'll find him... everything will be ok. You'll see," Luke promised. Obi-Wan was cold to his touch. "Stay awake don't fall asleep! I'll go find Master Yoda!" He jumped up and ran off the find the old master.

'Master... is this what... what you felt... when you were dying?'

"Oh, Anakin..." Padmé whispered she wrapped her arms around him, her tears falling.

"Maybe I should die..." He was shaking horribly. "I'm dangerous. I can't even protect the people I care about from others, how am I supposed to save them from myself?"

"Don't you ever let me hear those words again, Anakin Skywalker! You saved us all!" She scolded.

"Saved you?" He echoed, with a hollow laugh of disbelief. "Saved you? Padmé, I destroyed you all!"

"Anakin, you saved me, you saved me from a life of loneliness. You have kept me in your heart, and therefore allowed me to stay with you and watch our children grow up. You saved Obi-Wan countless times, you even saved Luke. Please don't do this..."

"I don't deserve him!" He shook his head, barely trusting himself to speak. "I don't deserve you, either! I don't deserve to live, I don't even deserve to die!"

"Would Obi-Wan have stayed by you for all these years if you didn't deserve him? Would Yoda have allowed you to be together? Would you have been allow to live after you were born if we didn't deserve you?"

"Yes." He bit off bitterly. "Because I'm the stupid 'chosen one'. But, I fulfilled by destiny! And...I'm tired of playing the damn Hero with No Fear." He'd already told Obi-Wan that...But, no matter what Yoda told him about not having to protect people, he was still Anakin fucking Skywalker. No amount of insane promises could change that.

'Padmé, we need you,' Qui-Gon said appearing. She looked up at him from her place.

'No... he took it back...' she replied.

'It was started. We must help stop it,' he answered. She nodded and looked at Anakin.

"Anakin I love you more than anything, but now I have to go and help Obi-Wan," she told him and kissed him as best she could before she and Qui-Gon disappeared.

Anakin just sat there for several more minutes, completely silent, before he got slowly to his feet, form still shaking like a leaf, as he put his weight back on his cane, and went back to the speeder he'd stolen. Obi-Wan couldn't take anyone away from him. Including himself. So, he was going to go back, and make sure the bastard didn't die on him.

"Will he be okay, Master?" Luke questioned softly looking up at Maeth.

"We can only hope the Force will guide him back," Master Maeth answered.

Inside the medical room

"Get another blanket. We need to bring his temperature up," a droid ordered.

Yoda sat in a chair by the bed, head bowed in meditation as he spoke with Qui-Gon and Padmé, trying to keep Obi-Wan from sinking further into the lost depths of the Force.

Finding Obi-Wan could have been harder, Anakin decided, as he parked the speeder out side of the healer's tower, and went in. The cockpit had been open, so he was soaking wet, from the rain, but he didn't care. He ignore the droids' and healers' offers for assistance, and just went where the Force told him to. Up to the third floor, down the hall, fourth door on the left. He passed by Luke and Maeth without even looking at them, and just entered the room, despite the droids' protests that he'd need to wait outside.

There was no emotion from Obi-Wan. Just the hard feeling of... cold.

Anakin stood there, and stared at him for several minutes, still stunned by what he'd accidentally done. No...no...this couldn't be happening...not again...Still without a word, he dropped down to the floor, right where he stood, not caring that he was sitting in a puddle that his wet clothes had made. He knew what he had to do. And, he didn't care if it took ten years off his life. He crossed his arms over his chest, and his legs beneath him, and closed his eyes, delving as deeply into the Force as he could. He dove into his Master himself.

'I'm sorry.'

'G-go a-away, An-Anakin. D-don't do this.

'It's my fault this happened to begin with. I'm not going to let another person I love just die.'

'You-you'll hurt y-yourself. S-st-stop.'

'I don't care.' His tone was firm, leaving no room for argument. It was the tone of a soldier. In battle, you couldn't let your inferiors argue with you, or you'd all end up dead. Obi-Wan wasn't his inferior comrade, but the principle was about the same. 'I'm not leaving until you wake up.'

'You b-being here w-will not h-help. I-it's so c-cold. Who k-knew the F-force could b-be s-so cold?'

'I'm not leaving you alone, Master.' He seemed more determined now, not less. 'This is my fault, and I intend to take responsibility for it.' He paused, before saying pretty much what he'd told Palpatine, concerning Obi-Wan on the Invisible Hand. 'You are my partner. My fate shall be the same as yours.'

'I don't want to die.'

'We won't let you,' both Qui-Gon and Padmé said.

'Padmé,' He sighed. Was the whole world against his atonement? 'I couldn't save you. But, I can save him! Even if I have a fraction of a chance of success, I have to try!'

'Ani... alright...' their presence faded, although he knew it was still there. Anakin took a deep breath, to calm himself down. He just had to focus on the moment, like Obi-Wan was always telling him. Just focus...

But, with that focus came an old fear that he could have sworn he left with his legs and arm, on Mustafar.

All things must die... His dragon whispered to him. Even Jedi.

No. That wasn't going to happen to Obi-Wan. Anakin took another deep breath. He needed to fucking focus!

'You need to wake up now, Master.'

'I can't feel you... like before...'

'We'll fix that later, you need to wake up, for now.'

You did this...this is your fault. He's going to die because of you.

No. Focus. He just needed to focus. Anakin felt a brush of Obi-Wan's energy, it was weak but still it was something. His breathing caught, already exhausted and ragged, and a bead of sweat trickled down his cheek. Focusing was now getting irritatingly difficult.

'Wake up,' he repeated, a little less demandingly, a little more pleadingly. 'Please. You can't take anyone else away from me.' Anakin felt a hand on his shoulder.

'Wake up Papa. For us both,' Luke whispered. Obi-Wan's energy left the cold place, his eyes slowly opened.

Anakin could have collapsed right there, and to be perfectly honest, he almost did. A broken little laugh of triumph escaped, amongst his panting, as he put all his energy into working his eyes open.

"Stop...doing that...you...you... peedunkel." He called Obi-Wan a very, very rude name, in Huttese. "Your comas...are getting on my nerves."

"I didn't plan this one," Obi-Wan replied. Luke slowly helped Anakin to stand and brought him to the chair beside the bed. Anakin sat heavily down again, leaning forward against the bed. Damn he was tired...

This isn't over... His dragon whispered, despite the reassurance of Obi-Wan's waking. You'll mess up again. Just watch.

"S...shut up..." He mumbled tiredly, eyes closing again. Obi-Wan reached his hand out and took Anakin's in his own, he held tightly.

"Don't hide anymore, Anakin... please. Let me share your pain," he begged softly. Anakin's eyes opened again, and locked on him, stormy with thought.

"I haven't done that...ever. With anyone..." He protested, swallowing slightly.

"Then let me be the first," Obi-Wan replied his eyes pleading with him. Anakin continued to watch him in silence for several more minutes, before nodding. He let down the mental shield he'd been using to block his bond link, with Obi-Wan. There. Now his former master would feel exactly what he felt.

Obi-Wan's own eyes closed at the immense sadness and guilt he felt. His hand tightened around Anakin's. He sent back reassuring waves of peace and love.

"Now do you see why I didn't want you to know?" He'd have gotten up and left, but he didn't think he could. Besides being totally exhausted, his cane was across the room. "I feel like an idiot..."

"Don't. Don't lock me out again. Don't feel stupid. You're emotions are your power, Anakin," Obi-Wan told him.

"You spent years trying to teach me to get rid of them." He pointed out, with a raised eyebrow.

Obi-Wan smirked. "It never worked did it? You're passion is what made me love you."

"I'm...not feeling very passionate right now." He admitted, turning his eyes away, and closing them again. What did he feel right then? Tired. Tired, and alone.

"You have us, Dad. You should never feel alone. We all love you," Luke whispered bringing his arms around his neck. Anakin bit back a frustrated groan, and opened his eyes again, to offer his son an odd look.

"That was out loud?" Besides, he'd be losing Luke far too soon. Luke spared him a smile and a nod.

Anakin groaned, and turned his face into the sheets and mattress. Once again, he made use of his knowledge of Tatooine's language, and curses. He was quite happy no one else in the room spoke it, as he let the muffled words fly into the sheets. These were words Luke probably shouldn't know for about six years.

"You both should get some rest. I'll come back and see you later," Luke told them and started to leave the room.

"Sit," Anakin corrected, still speaking into the mattress. "You're not leaving my side, until you have to move."

Luke stopped at the door and then turned back. He came over and kneeled by him. "Dad, is that what this was all about?" He questioned.

"Maybe..." His father replied slowly, after a moment of pondering whether he actually wanted to answer or not.

Luke rolled his eyes. "I can't believe you made that big scene after the ceremony because I won't be living with you guys anymore. That's why you were mad at Papa? Because you thought he made that decision?"

"Well...yes..." Okay...so...he'd had a temper tantrum. He'd already openly admitted that he was immature. His son shouldn't be surprised about it anymore.

"I was the one who asked Master Yoda and Papa to not let either one of them be my Master, Dad. It was my decision, although I didn't know that they would actually listen. And at the time I didn't even know you were gonna be granted Mastership. But, that doesn't change anything. I've lived with you guys for 13 years, you've taught me everything I know, but... now I wanna see what someone else has to teach me," Luke explained.

Anakin finally looked up at him again. Dark circles were already forming under his eyes.
"Fine," he agreed finally, in an almost carefully impassive tone. "Go. Your choice." Thirteen years just seemed like a much shorter amount of time, when it wasn't your whole life span.

Luke nodded. "I'll see you, Dad." And with that he was gone.

Anakin watched after him for several minutes, before turning his face down into the mattress again. Brat...didn't realize that he was still his daddy's baby...he threw his shields back up, and started working on loosening up his shoulder muscles. They were starting to cramp, and he was getting a headache...

Obi-Wan let go of his hand and started to gently stroke his head, at least it was something he could feel.

Anakin didn't move for a moment, but finally grumbled, still muffled by the bed, "I'm tired." And, he was. He felt like he'd been awake for twenty years. It was ridiculous. He did hope this wasn't going to be another permanent condition, like last time...

Obi-Wan scooted over. "Come on, Anakin. There's plenty of room for the both of us," he said quietly.

Anakin nodded tiredly, and somehow managed to pull himself up into the bed, falling asleep almost immediately. And, to the most interesting dream he'd ever had...

"What are you afraid of, Anakin?"

He was riding on the back of a large dragon, but he was very small. He didn't like this dragon. It made him nervous.

"I'm not afraid of anything," he replied defiantly to the inquiry.

"Don't lie. What do you fear?"

"Nothing!"

"Not death?"

"I'm not afraid to die."

"Not pain?"

"There's always something worse."

"What about suffering? Poverty? Starvation? ...Loss?"

"I'm a Jedi. I have nothing to lose."

"There's always something to lose. What about your loved ones? Are you frightened to lose them?"

"Well...maybe a little..."

"I can take them from you."

"What?" He blinked down at the dragon in alarm. Now he knew what was wrong...

"I can steal their lives away with a thought."

"No."

"All things must die..."

"No!"

"Even stars burn out..."

"NO!" He sat up quickly, eyes wide, breathing heavy, his hair dripping with cold sweat. He glanced down at Obi-Wan. It was dark out...the man was asleep...he should be asleep too, Anakin knew, but how could he go back to sleep after that dream? He needed air, he decided, all but tumbling out of bed. It took some work to be quiet, until he could get to his cane, to get some help, but after that it was easier, and he got to a small garden, outside, before too long. The night air whipped at his hair, and dried his face. Stupid fear...he wasn't going to let it rule him again...

"Troubled your thoughts are this night."

Anakin didn't need to look over his shoulder to see who it was, but he did anyway. "Bad dream." He shrugged, turning back to the way he'd been facing before.

"Disturbed you greatly, this dream has," Yoda commented coming up beside him.

"It's an...old fear..." He admitted slowly, licking his dry, and chapping lips. "One that I thought I'd gotten rid of a long time ago..."

"Speak to me if you wish young Skywalker. Trust me you can to tell no one," Yoda offered.

Anakin was silent, and completely zoned out for a few minutes. Then, with the taste of copper, he realized he'd been chewing on his lip, which probably wasn't helping with the chapping problem.

"You told me, once, that fear of loss is a path to the dark side." He murmured finally, licking the blood off of his lip again. "But...it's really the only thing I'm afraid of..."

"Hmm... our fears can be a path to the dark side... but only if we allow them to take us down that path. Control your future you do. The only decision you need to make is what to do with it."

"I don't know," he admitted, shaking his head slightly. "I just...I don't know. I almost killed another person that I love today...Master, will I ever be able to truly progress past that state that I put myself in? Will I ever be able to control my anger, and hatred, and fear?"

"Tell you this I cannot," Yoda replied sadly. "Your own path you must carve."

"I thought the Force showed you the future."

"One side it does. However, two paths there always are, take one instead of the other and you change your future."

"I don't want to kill anymore, Master," Anakin admitted, frowning, and ignoring the blood as he started chewing on his lip again.

"Decision is yours to make, Anakin. Often we must deny the desires that feed our very souls," Yoda said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He raised an eyebrow. "I'm supposed to take up a chastity vow?" Even though...it was a little late for that, in all actuality...

He could have sworn he saw the little alien laugh... or chuckle. "That vow would not mean much would it, young Skywalker?"

"I'm really not comfortable, talking about this," he admitted, blushing a little. "But...seriously. What're you talking about?"

"Determine that for yourself you must, young Skywalker. Words are about our own interpretations of them," Yoda answered, and turned walking out of the garden.

Well, Anakin noted with a dry look after him. That had been one of the most useless conversations he'd had with a sage in a long time. And, now he definitely wasn't getting back to sleep. He sighed tiredly, and limped over to sit down on a bench, resting his face in his hands.

Still lost in thought he didn't hear someone else enter the garden, or even notice their presence until they were sitting beside him, stroking his hair.

He didn't bother to look up, just reached into the Force to see who it was. "Hi," he greeted, after a moment.

"Hello to you too," Obi-Wan replied.

"I had a nightmare," he explained simply, with a small shrug. "Going back to sleep seemed like a bad idea."

"I woke up when I got cold, which was just a few moments after you left."

"Ah..." He nodded, still not looking up. "You going to ask what it was about?"

"Not if you don't want me to," Obi-Wan answered.

"I'll answer, if you ask. But, not if you don't."

"Okay then, I won't." Obi-Wan lay his head against Anakin's shoulder.

"Alright then," Anakin agreed to that, slumping a bit further, closing his eyes. And, they sat in silence, until he started explaining anyway. "Did I ever tell you about my dragon?"

"No. Are you talking about a real dragon, or an inner demon?"

"Inner," he mumbled, finally sitting back up, and popping his back, as he did. That felt a little better... "Do you remember when we went to that dead system, right after I became your Padawan? And I asked you what had happened, and you explained about the 'way of the universe', and how 'all things have a time to die'?" He sighed, and rubbed his eyes in irritation. "It's my 'dead star' dragon."

Obi-Wan stared at him. "It has plagued you for that long?" He finally asked.

"Yes," he confirmed, with a small sigh. "It got worse, after my mother died, though."

"What can I do, Anakin? I don't want it to hurt you anymore than it already has," Obi-Wan told him.

"Stop almost dying," he conditioned slowly, after a moment. "Other than that, I don't think there is anything you can do."

Obi-Wan wrapped his arms about Anakin's waist, his hair tickling Anakin's neck as he tucked his head under his chin with a sigh.

"I will do my best, but if you ever think of something I can do... tell me, alright?"

"I will," he agreed, his voice irritatingly tight. "I promise."

'I love you, Anakin.'

He almost choked, and very nearly started crying again. "I...I love you too."

Obi-Wan's grip loosened a little bit, he didn't let go as he fell asleep, a small smile playing on his lips.

Well, Anakin noted dully, at least one of them was getting some sleep. He just got into a more comfortable position, and settled in for a long night.

The next morning

Anakin slowly woke to the feel of feather light kisses on his neck.

"Nnn..." He mumbled, twitching a little. He didn't remember falling asleep, but judging from the sunlight blinding him, he had. Obi-Wan continued his gentle kisses, deciding this was a good enough way to wake up after a bad couple of days, without being totally bad in a public place.

"Morning, Master," he greeted with a yawn, before slumping back down, with the intention of more sleep.

Obi-Wan smiled. "Come on, our bed would be much more comfortable," he suggested standing.

"Coming..." He sighed, standing up, and grabbing his cane. Or, he'd come if he didn't collapse first.

Watching him for a moment Obi-Wan came up beside him and put the arm not using the cane over his shoulders to keep him steady.

"Bless you," Anakin groaned, letting most of his weight rest against his lover. "I'm so tired..."

"That's not surprising. Don't worry, soon you'll be able to rest," Obi-Wan promised.

"When does Luke leave?"

"Either tomorrow or the next day," Obi-Wan answered.

"I'm not gonna sleep through his last day with us."

"We'll make it the next day then. You need to sleep."

"Yes, Master..." He agreed his knees giving out beneath him right there.

Obi-Wan quickly caught him, using some of the Force to make him lighter. He carried Anakin to the elevator that took them up to their apartment, Luke's door was closed showing he was still asleep, quietly he took him to their room and lay him on the bed.

After watching him for a moment Obi-Wan lay beside him and covered them up, soon he fell back asleep.

It was a good thing Obi-Wan had decided to keep Luke the extra day, because it was close to noon the following day before Anakin could force himself awake again. Damn...he'd forgotten how much energy Seeking wiped...he needed to stop doing that...

Luke sat on the couch in the living room writing on a report for Obi-Wan's class. Obi-Wan had gone to talk with Master Yoda about... who knows what, therefore leaving him alone with Anakin, who he thought was still asleep.

"Hey, kiddo," Anakin yawned, coming over beside him. "You mad at me?"

"A little," Luke replied not looking up from his data pad.

"I trust your judgment," Anakin assured him with a sigh. "And, I trust Obi-Wan. I'm just having trouble letting go."

"I'll still be around, Dad. Just not right here," Luke said glancing up at him.

"I know. I over-reacted," he admitted, nodding. "You just...you and your sister mean a lot to me."

"You mean a lot to us too, Dad, probably more than you'll ever know," Luke told him, finally putting the data pad down looking at him.

"Oh, probably," he agreed with a small snort, ruffling his son's hair. "You, Leia, and Artoo are just the only reminders of your mother I have. I'm being possessive, feel free to ignore me."

"Artoo?" Luke questioned.

"Yep." He nodded, remembering it. "After we got married, I couldn't actually give her a ring, or any kind of devotion gift. So, I gave her Threepio instead. When I did, she gave me Artoo. He used to be her droid."

"I never knew that." Luke lay down, so that his head was laying on Anakin's leg. He looked up at Anakin. "I get to talk to her... but it's not the same as really knowing her. Can you tell me about Mom?"

"If you'd like," he confirmed, leaning his head back against the couch. "She was such an amazing woman...she was fourteen, I think, when I met her. Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon were escorting her from Naboo to Coruscant. Their ship broke down, and they landed on my home planet--Tatooine. Your grandmother and I were in slavery to this guy, Watto, at the time, but that's not important." A slight smile came to his face, and he let out a contented sigh, through his reminiscing. "She was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. I thought she was an angel, at first. Asked her if she was too. Anyway, she was a very...kind person. Strong political figure head too. She got elected twice, to be Queen of Naboo--that's the maximum term limit there--and they tried to amend the constitution, to keep her in office longer. It didn't go through though. She was offered a place in the Senate, though. That was how I saw her again. It was ten years, after the first time. She hadn't changed a bit. There was an assassin after her, and Obi-Wan and I were assigned for security. That was how the clone wars started."

"Leia wants to be Queen of Naboo," Luke commented absently.

"I know," he confirmed with a rueful grin. "Personally, I think she should stay away from politics, but it's her choice."

"Just like it's mine to be a Jedi, right?"

"Right." He nodded, still smiling that same smile. "You're in for a rough road too, but I'm convinced it's the one you should follow."

"How come?" He questioned looking up at him.

"The Force is so strong in you..." He replied thoughtfully. "I sensed it the first time I saw you. You're going to make a far greater Jedi than I could ever hope to be."

Luke smiled. "I doubt I could ever be as cool as you, Dad. I mean... you were the only one with enough guts to really go against the Jedi code."

"Not true," Anakin protested that, wagging a finger. "Nor necessarily a wise move to make."

"What do you mean not true?" Luke asked giving him a questioning look.

"I didn't know him for very long, but from what I've heard, Qui-Gon didn't set much stock by the rules either," Anakin informed him. "He never got married, and had kids, but Obi-Wan told me once, that he almost went against the Council's direct orders to train me."

Luke laughed. "Yes, Papa has told me some interesting stories about their adventures."

"What I do know about him," He supplied with a teasingly slow tone. "Is that he was very kind. Kind enough to risk stranding the Nubian queen on a nowhere planet like Tatooine, to help free a little boy."

"Do you think Papa was jealous when they found you?"

"I don't know," he admitted, with a small blink. "I didn't meet him, until we were back on the ship, and not personally until after Qui-Gon was dead."

"I'm gonna miss living with you guys... but I also can't wait. I guess that's something I got from you. Being adventurous I mean," Luke said.

"Maybe..." He agreed, expression softening slightly. "Or, from your mother. She was pretty adventurous in her day, too."

"She doesn't really strike me as the adventurous type, brave maybe but not adventurous."

"Hey, she married a Jedi, didn't she?" His smile took on a teasing air again. "Can't get much more adventurous than that. Besides, I think you'd feel differently about that, if you'd seen her blasting those droids away, in Geonosis."

Luke's eyes widened. "Okay, maybe I was wrong."

"She handled that big cat pretty well too..." He continued, thoughtfully. "We managed to get ourselves arrested," he explained, with a small snort. "In the attempt to rescue Obi-Wan from an apparently impending doom."

"What happened? Tell me everything!" Luke exclaimed with a smile. Anakin eyed him in amusement, before launching into an overly dramatized tale involving Padmé's attempt assassinations, his attempts to protect her, he skipped over the stuff with his mother, and the Tusken Raiders camp, but he went into meticulous detail, to make up for it, about the actual Geonosian battle.

"That sounds so cool! Well... not the really being at war part and people getting killed... but you understand," he said after Anakin had finished.

"That wasn't the fun part," Anakin admitted. "The fun part was the space battles." Which would have been more fun, if they hadn't kept him on the Outer Rim, away from Padmé, for months on end. Still he went into detail about several of those too.

The door slid open letting Obi-Wan in. He looked a bit surprised to see Anakin awake. Anakin broke off mid-sentence, when he came in, and broke into a grin.

"I was just telling him about the Outer Rim sieges."

"Those were some interesting battles," Obi-Wan agreed.

"He was rather impressed by Geonosis, too."

"And you started talking about all this how?" He questioned getting some tea from the kitchen.

"He wanted to know about Padmé." Anakin supplied idly. "It went from there."

"I see. Your mother was a great woman, if it hadn't been for certain people, who are dead now, she might have gotten more done," Obi-Wan commented.

"Subtle," Anakin sneered at him. He hadn't missed the pass at Palpatine, and himself in effect, considering at the time he'd been prancing around as a Sith lord name Darth Vader.

'Talking about the first I was not you... damn. I've been spending to much time around Yoda. I'm starting to talk like him,' Obi-Wan thought.

'So, my Master, what were you talking about in terms people can actually understand?'

'Just Palpatine, you know I was never fond of him.'

'Uh huh.' Luke sat up and stretched.

"Well, I guess I should finish my paper, and finish packing," he said and stood. Anakin made no comment, just shielded his contempt on the matter, and bopped him teasingly on the head. Not hard enough to hurt him. Luke stuck out his tongue as he picked up his data pad and went to his room.

Next: City of Angels