Battles amd wars never won by
A child that seeks redemption
Of the mother who lonely cries
Never let them sleep before hearing
Hello again
Intwine – Hello Again ©
The next morning Hermione actually smiled when she woke up. Nothing had happened between her and Severus the night before. But they sat outside for a long time and talked about anything.
Hermione was surprised with what Severus had told her. He did not tell much, but what he told, was very hard to believe, about his Death Eater-days.
They talked until Severus realized it was already two-thirty in the morning so they got up and Severus had walked her down to the entrance of her quarters.
He had pecked her cheek, just slightly and took off after wishing her goodnight.
And Hermione got in, did a last check on Anthony (who was asleep for sure) and then fell on her bed to fall into a dreamless sleep.
And now she woke up because Anthony had decided it was time for breakfast. Grinning, Hermione took him out of his bed and led him towards the kitchen where she started to feed him. Unlike other children, Anthony actually accepted it when Hermione would feed him. Probably because the kid knew he wouldn't get any food at all if he didn't let his mother feed him but still, Hermione thought Anthony was a prefect kid.
Today, Hermione would go visit Harry in his quarters of the castle. Ephram would take care of Anthony and Hermione felt glad one of her friends was in the castle.
After showering and bathing Anthony, Hermione started to make breakfast for herself as Anthony gabbled to her the whole time.
There was a knock on the door, indicating that Ephram should have arrived. With broad smiles they greeted each other and Ephram did not let Hermione go before she told him what happened last night ("You two didn't kiss? What are you? Stupid?") and finally Hermione could take off, on her way to see her best friend after three years. And she felt terribly nervous.
When she entered the deserted part of the castle, Hermione realized she didn't know it. She had never been here before, since the school resided in the front part of the castle. It was dark and silent, and slightly cold as well. Hermione hoped she would reach Harry's quarters soon, she did not like the darkness of these corridors.
Minerva had told her that the entrance to Harry's residence was behind a portrait of Godric Gryffindor himself.
Hermione found that rather funny. To enter a hero's quarters, you had to face a hero first.
But was Harry a hero? In her point of view, he was. But he failed to see it himself.
Hermione took a deep breath and sighed, then knocked. And she waited. And waited. And waited. It seemed like ages but finally, she heard someone stumble on the other side of the portrait. She sighed and then watched as the portrait swung open.
A pale, skinny man faced her, a three-day beard on his cheeks, his black hair had grown to shoulder length and his green eyes looked very surprised.
"'Mione?"
Hermione gave her oldest friend a shy smile. "Hello Harry."
They stared at each other for a minute before Hermione asked.
"Can I come in?"
Harry seemed to regain himself from the shock of seeing Hermione.
"Yeah, yeah of course! Come in!"
He turned and led the way, excusing himself for the mess in his chambers.
Hermione merely smiled. She remembered Harry as not entirely neat.
"Sit down, sit down! Do you want coffee, or tea? Or maybe something else?"
"Coffee will do Harry." Hermione smiled and watched Harry trail of into his kitchen. She took a look around. Harry's chambers showed how he spent most of his time here. There were large pieces of parchments on a desk in a corner, clothes (muggle and wizard) laying everywhere on the ground, empty bottles of Butterbeer on the coffee table and two empty bottles of Fire Whiskey on a cupboard against the wall.
Hermione sighed. Obviously, Harry neglected to take good care of himself, something which saddened her.
Harry stumbled back into the living room with two cups of coffee. He sat down in front of Hermione and took a few swallows before he spoke.
"It's – you look like hell 'Mione!"
Hermione chuckled. "Thanks Harry, I've missed you too."
Harry gave her a nervous smile and looked at his feet.
"How long have you been here?" he finally asked.
"About two days now. We arrived yesterday."
"We - ?"
"Anthony and I. You know Anthony, your Godson, remember!" Hermione said.
Harry sighed. "Did you come here to tell me I've been neglecting my godfather duties?"
"No, I did not come down here to tell you how you've been neglecting your godfather duties." Hermione spat. "I came down here to tell you've been neglecting to live!"
"WHAT!" Harry roared. "HOW DARE YOU SAY A THING LIKE THAT?"
Hermione got shot back by this outburst. She put down her cup and just looked at her friend. Three years ago, Harry would never have burst like this. He returned her look with furious eyes and she snorted.
"Do not pull that trick on my, Harry James Potter. It may have scared Malfoy in school, but it does not scare me. Start behaving your age!"
Harry did not respond, he just shot her another furious look. Then he got up and started searching a cupboard.
Hermione let him, maybe it would calm him down. But she did realise there was something wrong with him.
When Harry sank down on the couch again, he was holding a bottle of Fire Whiskey and a glass. In an instant he poured himself a glass and swallowed it before returning his attention to Hermione.
"What are you doing here?" he asked in a hoarse voice.
"I came to see you. I heard you turned into some sort of hermit." Hermione answered honestly.
"Tsk. A hermit? Just because I don't feel like going out lately. That's outrageous." Harry shot.
"You've been in here for three years!" Hermione immediately shot back.
"And what do you care?"
"I care because you are my friend, Harry! You always have been my friend."
"Then you should have come around earlier!"
Something clicked inside Hermione's head. She stood up, her face now reddened.
"You could have come to me as well! I'm the one who lost my boyfriend and carried his child!"
"Oh, so now you're the one who needs sympathy! Losing you boyfriend means losing my BEST friend!"
"And you decided the best way to accept that was to hide away?"
"As a matter of a fact yes! He died when he was protecting ME! Remember! ME!"
"Oh yes! The great Harry Potter, feeling GUILTY because he thinks he's the reason why Ronald Weasley died! And he thinks he's the ONLY victim in all this!"
"I don't –"
"Apparently you do Harry!" Hermione said coldly. "I came down here because I wanted to see you. I really wanted to see you. Well, I'll tell you what I saw."she started walking down to the entrance. "I saw a man, who totally ruined his own life, who chose the wrong way to grieve and fell down in his own dark mind so deep, he turned himself into a victim, feeling guilty for every bit of sadness within this fucking world. Ron died protecting you, that is true Harry. But he did it because he did not want you to die, not only because you were his best friend, but also because you were and still are the only person who can kill Voldemort. Ron would've wanted his son to grow up in a world without danger and fear. And did you kill Voldemort? No, you did NOT! You hid yourself! You neglected to do the thing your best friend gave his life for!"
And with that, Hermione bashed out of Harry's chambers, leaving a stunned Harry with his mouth open.
Hermione stormed through the castle, not knowing where she was going. After what seemed hours, she finally slowed down, finding herself in the dungeons. Without thinking she started to follow the way down to the potions classroom and swept inside when she reached the entrance.
Severus was working on class preparation when he heard someone bashing into his office.
"What do you think you're doing here!" he snarled without looking up from his files.
"Severus –." Hermione started of but she swallowed the rest of her sentence when she saw his angry face.
It softened the moment Severus recognized Hermione. He realised the conversation with Harry Potter did not go well and hurried towards her, catching her in his arms when she started to cry.
"It was awful!" she sobbed. "He started yelling and I screamed to and then I left and the only thing I can think of is how terrible he looked!"
"I am aware of Potter's current state." Severus admitted.
"He looked so helpless when I left." Hermione kept sobbing.
Severus slowly started to lead her towards the entrance of his own chambers.
"Come with me, let's get you something that'll calm you down!"
He muttered the password and let Hermione in, knowing he would go down to Potter tonight, to find out what exactly he did that made Hermione cried. And, thinking that, Severus realised Hermione really got a hold of him.