This was just written on random on night (as stated below) and I posted it on my LJ (last year? I can't remember...) but it never made it here. I'm not too sure if I like it, but oh well. (ANs are original to the piece...that's why they don't make sense...)

Standards
Airian Reesu

AN: Sess ramblings…that kinda come together. Oo…. G'Night…ZzzZzzz…..

donna ni hito wo kizutsuketa
konya wa yasashiku nareru ka na?
sayonara kanashikatta egao
konya mo hitori de nemuru no kai?

Buck-Tick - Jupiter

Blood

----

Humans have always tried to equate their alleged "feelings" on youkai. They compare us to their valueless measures of compassion, valor, honesty. Their idealistic visions of love.

What they never seem to understand is that youkai cannot meet these requirements. Even if they had the desire to. The fact itself is simple--youkai are not humans. And that is something humans often forget.

Some of us may don a human guise, but I can assure you that is all we are able to share. For, at the most fundamental level, youkai are beasts. I am proud of this fact; it is the honor of my heritage and the basis of who I am. It is our intelligence, our strength, which sets us apart from our lower brethren--not our supposed "humanity".

This foolish idea is simply a misinterpretation of the surface. Something humans are very apt to do. Self-delusion, blind faith, hope--those are all faults that cripple the human race.

They tend to waste their pitiably brief life spans pinning for what isn't there, instead of focussing on what is.

When that girl--woman-- asked me if I loved her, I of course answered "No." I do not "love" her, I never will.

Have you ever known an animal to love? Affection, yes, I suppose. A need to protect, assuredly. The humans are woefully inept at such a feat themselves. The need to have, to own? Definitely.

That is how everything works in the world of youkai. The thirst to capture, to possess, is a ruling factor in most anything. Humans may call it greed, I suppose, although the idea behind that term is only half of it.

It is for this urge that my father mated my mother. He wanted a strong lineage, wanted that female, and so he set out to get her. It was also this want that brought him to his second woman. He could win her easily, he could make her submit and belong to him. And so he did.

It was for this reason as well that he fought so hard to keep that woman. I can understand that, although the choice of females was a very stupid one. That foolish human really believed he loved her. Which he never could.

For love is a human word, a human concept. And although I know he tried, Chichiue could never meet that woman's aspirations.

It was his first perceived failure. And it was all the fault of an impossible, displaced measurement.

----

Her face is frozen in silent shock. "What…"

It is everywhere…everywhere…. How could this have happened?

----

I know it hurt her when I told her so. I've come to know that mortal woman so well over these years. Her standards are so simple and vague, but mean so very much to her. I have come to discover much about her actions. I have had much time to study her.

She, however, has learned so very much, and yet does not understand much of anything at all.

She asked that of me when she should already have known the answer. She knows a youkai's true nature, has seen it for all of her new life, and still she dreamed.

I do not know how she became so idealistic. How she learned to hope. Her life has not been a pleasant one, nor has she had much need of idle fantasies.

And still she asked me.

----

What is he doing here…? How can he be here…? She does not know, cannot think of any possible answer.

She cannot think at all.

----

Even after she left I knew where she was. I gave her her reign and left her to wander within the range of my sight. She still belonged to me.

Soon she mated, had her own human whelps, and began to live a human life. Not at all surprising. It was one of her wishes, after all.

----

No one else can realize what happened either. They all stand in that bloodied grove, unmoving.

She just stares.

----

Humans hate youkai just as we hate humans. They are weak and foolish; we are unfeeling and powerful. We despise them because we know of their inner needs; they despise us because they do not understand.

They fear us because we frighten them.

Irrational.

----

The blood finally wakes her frozen mind. She never knew there could be so much…

She grasps for the children that hide behind her. Tears steal her sight.

No…

----

It actually surprised me, at first, to learn that her husband was so avid in his hatred for youkai. I never thought her to be that bitter.

I see now that such a thought is untrue, yet that does not change the male's views.

I'd never seen an army intent on killing youkai. Their childish games were usually only between themselves. It was a fleeting amusement for us at the start.

Now it is nonsense.

----

Her face sweats red, although it is not from her skin. She clutches the living hands to her, seeing the tiny desperate faces peering back at her.

Is that what he saw? Is that why he did what he did?

What he did…

She wants to scream.

----

All nonsense…and yet…

Even in nonsense, she is my Rin.

Youkai always protect what is theirs.

At any price.

----

The woman reaches out towards that skewered corpse.

They make no move to stop her.

These bloodthirsty, compassionless humans…

She looks into the face she waited so long to see again and now never will.

Her dear one.

"Sesshoumaru-sama…"

----

I never loved her…but that did not mean I would not die for her.

To what extent have I hurt people?
Tonight I wonder if I can be kind?
Goodbye to that sad smiling face
I wonder if tonight I'll sleep alone?

Buck-Tick - Jupiter (Translation)

AN: And that…is my strange drabble-ish thing…. All because of a Buck-Tick song…

It's amazing how my music inspires me…

There is a message here, although I don't think many will see it the way I do…

Oh well…