Of Life and death
Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.
Chapter Two:
Rama pulled her katana free of the body and whirled about to stand, once again, with her back to her Uncle's back, she was determined, that no other Foot soldier would try such a cowardly act tonight. In the heat of battle she didn't realize what she had done, she acted, merely on instinct alone.
Her eyes were focused on the soldiers clustered around them, not on those who had fallen and lay in pools of blood.
Raph and the Foot were aware of the young warrior's act.
" Good going Ramiela. Keep it up cause they ain't too happy at the moment." Raph praised her quickly.
The Foot now began to press in closer, but Rama was still just enough ticked off, at her enemies that she struck without paying much attention to the amount of force she was using. Her anger fuelled her hits, making them harder, stronger and faster. She was no longer holding back using only a portion of her skill, she was going all the way.
Raph sensed it and smiled, he recalled that Mike had frozen the first time he had made a kill, he had been so upset by what he had done, that he had become practically useless. Luckily for his more sensitive brother, the battle they had been locked in, at that time, was drawing to an end and it was fairly easy for the others to protect Mike.
The first kill could hit you moments after making it, or have a delayed affect, hitting sometime days later, it seemed like Ramiela was one of the latter types, who would only acknowledge what she had done some time later.
That was just as well, considering the amount of Foot still hanging around, Raph didn't want to push his luck into trying to save Rama and himself.
However when the battle wore down and the adrenaline dropped then Ramiela would have to face what she had done and then who knows how she would react to the news.
For now though they stood slashing out at the black garbed soldiers that gathered around them, more bodies slumped to join those who would never walk, or breathe again for that matter.
Finally the remaining Foot Soldiers decided to beat a hasty retreat their numbers significantly smaller then before.
Raph reached into a belt pouch for a rag to wipe off the worst of the blood from the metal prongs of his weapon. He nudged Ramiela offering her another rag in silence; he noted the heavy rise and fall of her chest plates, as she tried to gain her breath.
Rama took the rag and glanced at her katana, her eyes widened and she inhaled sharply as she saw the amount of blood staining the blades, it was so much blood, far too much blood. Moving quickly she swiped the rag over the metal, and dropped the offensive, blood soaked rag to the ground, before placing her katanas securely in their scabbards.
" Lets go," She whispered in a dull ragged way.
Rama wanted to get away from this rooftop, right now she didn't care where she went, she just didn't want to be around the sight, smell or taste of death.
Raph sighed, realizing that it was starting to hit his niece now. He wanted to get her away from this, he wanted to protect her from it, but he knew he couldn't.
Raph knew that this was to be an important part of Ramiela's life, it was what they had been training her for, and slowly bringing her to, since she had first started her training at the age of three. He knew that he couldn't let her run from death; she had to accept it, or live in fear of the grim reaper.
" Ramiela" Raph spoke softly but sternly as possible, " Listen to me, there is nothing wrong in killing for the right reasons. The Foot would have killed me and then you, not even give us a bit o' mercy. Tonight it was all about living or dying" he explained, he cupped her face in his rough calloused hands, " You saved my life tonight. There is nothing wrong in killing to save or protect someone you love." He took her by the shoulders and turned her around, "Look at it Ramiela. Look and accept that yes you killed some of those people."
Rama whimpered and shrank against her Uncle trying to turn from the ghastly sight.
" Ramiela look!" Raph barked sharply, in a tone he used when he would not accept her disobedience, in a matter. But he squeezed her shoulder at the same time to let her know he was there with her.
Rama braced herself to stare at the carnage before her, though it was the last thing she wanted to do. Rama heard her uncle telling her something.
" Remember you killed to save a life. We as ninja live by a certain code. You abided by that code tonight. You are a kunoichi and you ought to be proud that you can save lives with what you know." Raph insisted.
Rama scowled not quite understanding what he meant, but she nodded her head as if she did comprehend.
Raph gave her shoulder a reassuring pat " Come on now we have to go home."
" We still have patrol time, and we still have our sector to finish" Rama protested.
" Ramiela you are hurt your arm needs stitching and so does your chin by the looks of it." Raph declared.
Rama wiped her arm across her chin, saw it come away with blood, she shook her head. " I must have hurt it when the Foot pulled me down, but I didn't even feel it." She murmured.
" Yeah, we both need looking after kid, so come on home now." Raph crooned gently, he could tell by his niece's attitude and behaviour that she was all ready entering shock, running on automatic pilot as she tried to get things going 'normal' again. He wanted to get her home where she would have time to absorb and accept her role in the evening's battle.
Raph was also fully aware that she was not capable of handling another battle at the moment and longed to get her to safety before the Foot regrouped and came after them again.
He knew that there were certain stages that could be expected with the first kill, just as there were stages to grieving, not everyone would follow all the stages, but it was only natural to expect each person to hit a few of those stages. Ramiela at the moment seemed to be in denial, and in a desperate bid to get back into her routine to make things appear as if all was well.
" All right uncle" Rama relented with a heavy sigh, she would be grateful just to leave this rooftop.
Raph lead the way, taking a scenic route to insure that they weren't being followed, the further they went into the sewer, and the further they were from the battle scene, the more natural Rama began to act, her sobered, mood seemed to perk up a bit.
Being Mike's daughter she could hardly stand still at the best of times, never mind being calm and controlled in the euphoria after battle. Knowing you survived could be an addictive high.
He sensed that she was having some trouble concentrating on staying quiet and moving with the amount of stealth required of her in the sewers. Right now she could ignore, or pretend to forget her actions.
Raph smiled knowing while she may have put the violent images from her mind now. They would return. Her subconscious would not allow her to forget, and by forcing her to look upon the fallen, he had helped imprint in her mind the one rule and law that was as old as time itself.
The law of survival, that insisted the strong survived, and the weak fell.
They finally entered their home; the lair was dark and quiet in the early morning hours " Go see Don let him get ya patched up. I'm gonna talk to Leo. When Don is done wit ya give your katanas a proper clean in the dojo." Raph instructed her quietly so as not to disturb any family members, " Oh and do me a favour kid, and clean my sais for me, I don't know how quick I'll be able to escape Leo."
Rama smiled " No problem, after all you still have your injuries to tend to as well Uncle Raphael" Rama agreed cheerfully taking his weapons from him and heading towards the other direction from him.
Raph knew Leo would be in the meditation room waiting to learn how the young kunoichi had fared on her shift. Whenever Leo himself did not have charge of his student for her patrol time, he would go and meditate awaiting any news good or bad, on how things had gone.
Raph had sent one brief mental message to his brother stating 'Foot ambush. Returning home.' And nothing more, but he knew Leo would be expecting to see him.
Leo, though he was only technically chunin, or second in command of the clan, had taken on many of the duties of jonin, from Splinter, so their mentor could enjoy a bit more free time for meditating reading, or being with his grandchildren.
Leo looked up as Raph entered the meditation room " Raph it could have waited until you cared for your worst injuries." He chided gently, " I don't need to hear from you immediately." He said shaking his head.
" It couldn't wait Leo, Rama killed tonight."
Leo's posture straightened up, his eyes narrowed slightly, he'd been purposely keeping Rama back from certain patrols, and not letting her join them during time when the Foot activity was too heavy for Ramiela to handle.
Until Rama could kill she was in many ways a hindrance, more then an asset to the team. However Ramiela needed small battles and skirmishes to build her confidence and her skill level. Some training could only come in battle.
Killing might now mean that Ramiela was ready to take it to the next level, that was at least the basis of the idea, but Leo was aware she'd need time first to recover from killing for the first time.
Raph seeing he now had Leo's full and undivided attention quickly gave him the run down of the battle and more importantly how Rama had come to his rescue.
" I could possibly have dodged the Foot's strike from behind but I still would have been injured, either from him or one of his buddies who were trying to keep my interest, or possibly injured from both ends" Raph paused, " Ramiela seems all right for now" he grinned then and arched his eye ridges " But I don't know how long that is going to last."
" Did she hesitate after the kill?" Leo wondered.
" Naw after the first she just kept fighting and killing where she could," Raph admitted with pride, " She might have put off killing long as she could spite o' wat I tole her ta, but once she did, she was fine."
Leo reflected on those words, he knew from his, and his brother's own experiences that it wasn't easy to make that first kill, killing wasn't supposed to be easy. If it were to become so, then one might forget to value life. Still to compound a second and more kills on top meant that it might hit her harder, when his student did realize what she had done.
" Where is she now Raph?" He asked curiously.
" Either with Don getting patched up or in the dojo cleaning the weapons properly" Raph remarked simply.
Leo nodded understanding, blood was familiar enough sight, in their business but having Rama clean the weapons of blood would only help her to focus on the events of the night.
" Go get yourself cleaned up Raph, I'll go take care of her." Leo assured his brother as he stood up and gestured Raph ahead of him.
Leo sighed inwardly knowing he'd now have to catch Mike when he returned home from his patrol to let his brother know about recent circumstances. Mike he knew would not be happy to hear the news. His easygoing brother could be less relaxed in matters concerning his daughter.
Mike knew Rama had to grow up and face her future as a ninja, but his father instincts wanted to protect her from growing up too quickly and also to keep her from harm. Each momentous growth step, in Ramiela's training, caused Mike a great deal of concern and anxiousness, as he tried to come to grips with the fact his daughter was growing up and taking her rightful place in the clan.
Leo headed towards the dojo, he found his niece sitting on the floor carefully polishing her katanas, he reached out with his senses and felt her excitement from the recent battle, but also a touch of soberness as if she was starting to ground herself in the simple routine of weapon cleaning.
He entered the dojo moving silently more due to years of habit then anything else, but Rama turned her head and saw him, as if aware that he was there.
" Hi Sensei."
Leo smiled " Raph tells me you had a rough night."
" Sort of" Rama shrugged, " it was kind of crazy for a bit" she confessed as she flashed a grin, " The Foot seemed to be everywhere, I'd never seen so many before, they just kept coming too, like out of everywhere. It was like a giant Foot convention or something" Rama's tone rose in pitch, her excitement glowing in her eyes as she related the events.
Leo smiled inwardly, easily recognizing Mike's enthusiasm, as well as the natural thrill that came with battle.
" How did you manage to handle so many?" Leo asked kindly keeping his voice calm as possible, in hopes of influencing Ramiela to also regain calmness.
" I don't know. Sheer luck I guess," She hazarded in a cheeky way, " I must be getting good cause as soon as I got one down another took its place," She boasted.
Leo decided her cockiness needed to be taken down a peg or two, " Perhaps if you had dispatched the Foot in the first place you wouldn't have had to worry about them coming back after you, they would have stayed down." He kept his voice stern as he gave her this bit of advice.
Rama grimaced " I didn't want to kill though Sensei, though Uncle Raphael told me that I ought to."
" You know, you are supposed to obey the orders of whoever you are with, when on patrol," Leo reminded her firmly.
" I know but we are suppose to value life. All life has meaning right?" Rama countered quickly.
" Ramiela have you ever heard of the Shaolin monks of China?" Leo queried.
" Yes, Uncle Donatello has taught me about them in school" Rama replied, " They have been around for many years, and they help preserve the peace as well as seeking enlightenment."
" Yes the monks have a saying about fighting, for preserving peace does not always mean staying peaceful. Sometimes to keep the peace you must fight and make war, and therefore one must sometimes choose the lesser of two evils," Leo explained as he dropped easily down to the lotus position.
Rama scowled shaking her head " I don't understand" she said her brow furrowing in puzzlement.
" The Shaolin monks when deciding how much force to use, in certain situations, follow a certain progression" Leo informed her, " Avoid rather than check, check rather than hurt, hurt rather than maim, maim rather than kill."
Rama nodded her head; she understood that, in short it was the same message she had heard numerous times before. Life all life had meaning and it was wrong to kill or through inaction allow another human to be seriously hurt or killed by another. She knew that because she had been trained that way, as ninja she sort of expected it.
" There are times in life when killing becomes necessary Ramiela. Raphael chose to kill because the number of Foot, were overwhelming. If you are asked to kill by one of us, you should trust our judgement" Leo declared.
" But Sensei isn't killing…" Rama paused squirming; " Well Uncle Raphael is sort of use to it" she finished lamely
" You think that he killed needlessly then?" Leo countered giving her a piercing stare.
Rama squirmed uneasily under his hard glare.
Leo knew that the next bit would not be easy and he braced himself for what he was about to do to his niece, as her sensei he had to do it, for he knew that Ramiela had to admit to taking a life, just as she once admitted to saving one.
" Did you kill tonight Ramiela?" Leo demanded sharply.
Rama gulped, hanging her head and quickly looking a different way, anywhere but into her Sensei's eyes and face. He all ready seemed to know that she had broken the rules.
' Why is it I can never seem to obey, even when I want to?' Rama wondered to herself, ' I try I just can't seem to do it.'
" Ramiela?"
" I only did it to help Uncle Raphael, I didn't mean to, I didn't want to" she half snapped half sobbed.
" Didn't mean to do what Ramiela?" Leo pressed her for a confession, he all ready knew why she had acted, that wasn't what he wanted to hear, it was the act, itself, that Rama had to accept and now come to grips with, by shoving it aside and ignoring it she wouldn't be able to.
Rama trembled as she broke into tears, dropping her katana she lowered her face in her hands and sobbed. " I killed him, I killed him. I didn't mean to, but I killed" She wailed in misery. " I used my katana and it…I…I'm so sorry."
Leo pulled her into his arms holding her tight as the kunocihi, the child, broke down and cried her grief as she accepted the fact.
" Yes Ramiela you did kill, but you did it to save a life. If you hadn't killed, both Raph and you, could be dead by now" Leo sought now to comfort his student, and reassure her that she hadn't done anything wrong. " Killing to save someone is not wrong and it doesn't go against your training. We don't care to take anyone's life but there are times when we are left with no other option" Leo kissed her forehead and stroked her back.
He waited until her sobs died down, he knew that she was now too exhausted to accept much more, she was literally strung out and needed a chance to rest a bit.
" You have been through a great deal tonight Ramiela, and we will talk more after you have had a chance to rest."
Rama sniffed a bit as she sat back, she felt too worn out to question or dispute the matter, as she might have under better circumstances, that plus the fact she had not fully accepted her role in the evenings battle as of yet, yes she had spoken the words but that was just a simple first step. There would be more to come later.
Instead Rama nodded her head numbly in agreement to her Sensei's words.
" Look at you, you are practically asleep on your feet" Leo chided gently, " Go on get to bed and get some rest" He ordered gently.
He had a better knowledge of where his student was, by the time she woke she would be asking questions and doubting her training and then she would need counselling. Leo knew how to handle the kunoichi, and he knew what had to be said to her, but just the same he wanted to have Splinter there to help in the matter. For Rama would be more likely to accept both of their words together, when she heard it, then just hearing it from one at a time.
Leo sighed it was going be a rough night, and a not so pleasant morning.
TBC
Mikaela's Spade: Well this story is probably going have at least two more chapters yet. Really a short story for me. A gratitude for your insight.
Tbreader: Rama loves her root beer and Raph loves to tease her about it. Yes Rama is more mature then most kids her age, but in many ways she is still quite young and killing for the first time is something that can shake up even someone who is older. I plan on about four or five chapters, hopefully completed before you go but I make no promises. A gratitude for your insight.
Lunar Ninja: You can really burp without soda? What an incredible talent, I am sure you will fit in well at the turtle lair. A gratitude for your insight.
Reinbeauchaser: It ought to be a bit familiar chapter 30 RR, we wrote a couple of paragraphs about Rama's first kill for a talk with Gabby. This story has been asking and now demanding to be written ever since. Rama has indeed learned a hard lesson but lesson isn't over yet. A gratitude for your insight.
Chibi Rose Angel: No the Foot would not be considerate but Rama hasn't had to kill before now. Considering the story's plot the title was rather easy to come up with, nice for a change usually I have a great deal of trouble with titles. A gratitude for your insight.
Digimon Girl: Glad to hear it and I hope you continue to enjoy the latest Rama instalment. A gratitude for your insight.
Lenni: Death isn't always pretty and Rama's training does help her in overcoming her little hurdle of not wanting to kill, luckily for Raph. A gratitude for your insight.
Splinter: For the turtle clan all of them must make that first kill as a crucial part of training, but of course that training also means some help and counselling through the aftermath. A gratitude for your insight.
TMNTNut: Gee thanks and yes this story will continue for a couple more chapters at least. There are also other Rama stories posted as well, it is a whole series and I keep thinking up more. A gratitude for your insight.
Pretender Fanatic: You volunteered for training hmm? Well I hope you get some enjoyment out of it, in between times glad you could stop to enjoy a bit of fan fiction. Making the choice to kill, especially when you are one of the good guys, should never be easy. Rama's favourite drink root beer. She is addicted to that stuff, one day I might try to write a whole fic around her little RB habit. A gratitude for your insight.