Chapter Six

As Cleon was standing around talking to himself, Jon was wearing a dress that was about ten sizes too small, and Owen was being jolly, George decided that he needed some toothpicks. "I need some toothpicks!" announced George.

"WHY!" demanded Alanna, pointing her sword at George's throat.

"Because... Cleon's afraid of them!" said George.

"Ok," said Alanna.

"TOOTHPICKS CAN FOUND UNDER NEAL'S BED!" screamed Owen, screaming so loud that Cleon's ear drums burst.

"Why is everything under Neal's bed!" asked Dom. "I want stuff under my bed!"

"I can be under your bed!" suggested Kel, in a very suggestive way.

"Eep!" screamed Dom. He hid behind Thayet's giant stuffed penguin.

"Where did I get that penguin?" Thayet wondered.

"George stole it," said Alanna matter-of-factly.

Neal suddenly screamed at Jon, "YOU STOLE THE DRESS OFF MY LIFE-SIZE BARBIE! HOW COULD YOU! I TRUSTED YOU, AND YOU'VE GONE AND BETRAYED ME!"

"Well I have to have a dress!" said Jon. "Or else I'll be late for the ball my Prince Charming won't be able to remember how to tie his shoes!"

"Huh?" said Neal. He ripped the dress off of Jonathan and ran off to his room.

"EEK!" screamed Jon. He began running around circles and knocked over Cleon occasionally.

"EEK!" screamed everybody else, shielding their eyes. Jon finally found his regular clothes and put them, and everybody uncovered their eyes.

Meanwhile George had gone into Neal's room to search for the toothpicks. As soon as he approached Neal's dresser, Neal sprung out of one of the drawers and made loud beeping sounds.

"YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO ACCESS THIS AREA! STEP AWAY IMMEDIATELY".

"But I just want some toothpicks!" George whined.

"But they're my own... my precious!" said Neal. "What do you want with them?"

"To scare Cleon with," George replied.

"Well, if it's for a good cause, then you can have them!" said Neal, handing George a box of toothpicks.

"YAY!" cried George. "Wait, why was I looking in your dresser when Owen clearly stated that the toothpicks were under your bed?"

"I dunno," said Neal. "Because nothing ever makes sense in this crazy world?"

"Um.. sure." George then ran out of Neal's room. Neal curled up in his bathtub and fell asleep. George nudged Alanna. "I got the toothpicks."

"HOW DARE YOU NUDGE ME!" screamed Alanna. "YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF NUDGING ONE SUCH AS MYSELF! ARREST THIS MAN!"

The Lord Provost popped up grinning. "Come on George, I've been waiting to catch you for... uh... a really long time!"

"NOOO!" cried George. "My wife betrayed me!"

"Actually," said Alanna. "I'm not your wife."

"YOU'RE NOT!"

"No way! Your real wife is Shinko the half-dead cricket!" She held up Shinkokami the half-dead cricket, who twitched feebly.

"But she's my betrothed!" shouted Prince Roald. "I'M SO CONFUSED!"

"CAN WE JUST TORTURE CLEON AND STOP ARGUING!" screamed Kel.

"That sounds like a good idea!" said George. He snuck up behind Cleon and screamed, "TOOTHPICKS!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! WHERE!" cried Cleon.

"Never mind, false alarm."

Cleon let out an oafish sigh of relief. "Thank goodness," he said. He sat down on a metal chair. He had to sit on metal chairs because he would break the wooden ones. George, grinning evilly, crept up stealthily like a thief, and dropped a pile of toothpicks on Cleon's lap.

"AAAAAGGGGGGHHHH! THE HORROR!" screeched Cleon. He then dropped dead of fright.

"Um... I didn't do it!" said George hastily.

Jon ran over and picked up one of the toothpicks. "Oh my gosh, it's Ernest!" he said excitedly. "How in the world did you get over here, Ernest? Look, it's your friends, Lorenzo the eggplant and Simon the broccoli stem!"

"Oh no, Cleon has perished," Kel said without emotion. "We will all not miss him very much." Owen did the Jolly Dance around Cleon's body.

"Shouldn't we bury him?" asked Gary.

"Sure!" said Wyldon. He took a handful of dirt out of a nearby flowerpot and sprinkled it over Cleon's body. "There, he's buried!"

"Good enough," said everyone else.

Kel then decided to go down some stairs so she could defeat the evils of grape flavored lollipops. Suddenly, Cleon appeared right before her very eyes! "AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!' screamed Kel. "MY EYES CAN'T HANDLE THE UGLINESS OF CLEON!"

"Wait, isn't Cleon dead?" said George, who had been following Kel so that he also could defeat the evils of grape flavored lollipops.

"You idiots!" snapped Cleon. "I'm Cleon's ghost!"

"Well why are you a ghost?" asked George.

"Because I'm dead!"

"Well why are you dead?" asked George.

"Because it benefits the plot, the author, and all the people of Tortall!" said Cleon.

"Well why does it benefit the plot, the author, and all the people of Tortall?" asked George.

"GEORGE, SHUT UP!" screamed Kel. George shut up.

"I now have to go defeat the evils of grape flavored lollipops!" Kel announced. "I've been wanting to destroy it for years!"

"Ooh, me too!" said George. "Grape flavored stuff is PURE EVIL!"

"Guys, are you forgetting all about me?" whined Cleon, floating pitifully.

"Yes," said Kel.

"Well I'm leaving then!" cried Cleon.

"Good," said Kel.

Cleon then floated right through one of the walls, and Kel and George fought bravely against the pure utter evil of those vile grape flavored lollipops.