Addict Group 2: The Speech Impaired

I think we all know who's gonna be in this one...

"Alright, Ryu, you can just kind of zone out today." Selena sighed.

"Alright!" Ryu picked up some beef jerky and started eating. "Lunch time!"

"Anyway, today, we're going to help each other like usual." Selena smiled. "Anyway, let's introduce ourselves. My name is Selena."

"It's a me! Mario!" Mario said, pulling out a cigarette.

"I'm sorry Mario, no smoking." Selena frowned. "What's your problem?"

"Mamma Mia!" Mario said in shock, dropping his cigarette.

"Alright, you're problem is a lack of English." Selena turned to Link. "Your problem?"

Link held up a sign that said. "I don't talk at all damn it."

Selena nodded. "Isaac?"

Isaac said nothing.

"Aren't you gonna say anything?"

Isaac shook his head.

"OK... So all you can do is nod." Selena sighed. "Alright, so Mario, we'll work on you first. Any ideas for poor Mario?"

Link held up a sign. "Not talking at all."

Isaac nodded.

"Or..." Ryu muttered. "We send him to school. That's why he's a plumber with no life."

Isaac nodded at that too.

"Alright! Mario, you're going to school. Now, the school bus comes at 8:30AM for elementary school. Don't be late for your first day!" Selena pushed him out the door. "Alright, since you and Isaac seem to have a similar problem, let's do you both at once."

Link held up a sign. "How about no?"

"You volunteered for this. I didn't force you to come." Selena turned to Ryu. "Think you can make some kind of noise come out of their mouths?"

"With pleasure." Ryu stomped on Isaac's foot.

Isaac opened his mouth, but no sound.

"Damn." Ryu muttered, then grinned. "I know!" He took Isaac's sword.

"Hey! Gimme back my fucking sword before I kick your ass you mother fucker!" Isaac yelled, grabbing his sword back.

"I was hoping to keep that..." Ryu muttered. "Wait a second! You called me a mother fucker! YOU'RE GONNA DIE!" Ryu pulled out a katana and started chasing Isaac.

"RUN AWAY!" Isaac shouted, running out the door.

"Anyway, now for Link." Ryu turned to see that Link had fainted. "You've got to be kidding me..."

Selena grabbed an ocarina. "Now what was the song of storms again...? Oh! Now I remember!" She played it.

After getting soaked, Link woke up at sat there confused. "Why am I wet?" He asked, wringing out his hat.

"HE TALKED!" Ryu said, shocked. "I can't believe it!"

"So? I could talk the whole time." Link muttered.

"I see! You didn't WANT to talk because you have a girly voice!" Ryu fell over laughing.

"It's not funny!" Link yelled, turning bright red.

"Girly man! Girly man!" Ryu laughed.

"Shut up!"

"Break it up you 2." Selena sighed.

"He started it!" Link yelled.

"You're the one with the girly voice Girly Man." Ryu muttered.

"Shut up! Both of you!" Selena yelled, pulling out some make up. "Or I'll dress you BOTH up like girls!"

"Would she go through with it?" Link muttered nervously to Ryu.

"You wouldn't dare!" Ryu shouted.

"Wouldn't I?" Selena grinned evilly.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Link and Ryu ran out of the room.

"Heh heh..." Selena muttered. "Now it's time for my shows!" She turned on the TV.

Meanwhile, Back with Link and Ryu

"What're we gonna do now?" Link asked.

"Rob Ganondorf?" Ryu asked.

"Sure!" They both ran off toward Ganondorf's castle.

At Ganondorf's Castle...

"So... Quistis, what do you do in your spare time?" Ganondorf asked.

"I've defeated witches, fought in battles, taught students how to be good SeeDs, the usual." Quistis said.

Link stared. "Ew... He's hitting on an old hag..."

"She's 18." Ryu muttered back, filling his pockets with gold.

"But she's so old!"

"Ganondorf's older. "Who cares anyway? Help me steal his loot! Ooo! Mine!" Ryu grabbed a couple katanas, light sabers, and the Majora's Mask.

"Hey wait a sec! Isn't the creepy mask guy supposed to have that?"

"Who knows? I'm keeping it though. Let's go!" They both ran off.

Disclaimer:

Ganondorf, Link, and the Majora's Mask belong to the Legend of Zelda series.

Isaac rightfully belongs to the Golden Sun people.

Mario is obviously from the Mario games.

Quistis is from FF8.

Not as long (or as funny if you ask me) but still good. Later!