Oh, boy. If anyone didn't like me after the last chapter, you're really going to hate me after this one. :) Let me just say in my defense that this beast is 13 chapters long, and I'm nowhere near a resolution. So stick with me. Maybe you'll like it. Maybe not. But either way, let me know, and I'll try to update soon.

PoW ;)

Chapter Five

The delight that consumes the desire.
The desire that outruns the delight.
Algernon Charles Swinburne

Usagi was so warm in Averill's embrace that the instant he pulled away the night air felt like ice. Her eyelids fluttered open, waking from a sweet dream, and she looked at him in confusion. What was that look on his face? Why wasn't he smiling back at her?

"Don't stop," she whispered, but Averill was shaking his head.

"I'm sorry," he said, eyes tired and voice filled with regret. "I shouldn't have. Your boyfriend…"

Boyfriend? Usagi blinked. What boyfriend?

"What are you talking about?" she demanded, throwing her arms around him and moving closer. "You're the only one. I've never loved anyone but you."

A smile formed on Averill's lips as he gently pushed her back. "This boyfriend you were telling me about - I thought you loved him. Don't you remember?"

Remember? Usagi dug her nails into the wooden bench and forced herself to stop trembling. Remember soft blue eyes and a half-sad smile. Remember roses and warm days in the sun. Remember Mamo-chan. Usagi's breath caught and she froze with realization. Mamo-chan.

Oh my God, what have I done?

Heart pounding, Usagi inched away from Averill, until she slid to the edge of the bench and swayed dangerously over the edge. Rather than accept his open hand of assistance, she jumped up and strode towards the lake, arms folded. This had never happened before. Never, when she had been pursued by Seiya or Dimand, had she given in.

So why now? What had happened? For a few moments, it was as if she were another person with no resemblance to Tsukino Usagi. She hadn't remembered her life, or at least hadn't been thinking of it. All she could think and feel was Averill, and without any thought of Mamoru, she had said she loved him.

But this was crazy, to be consumed by a sudden passion. She didn't love him, she couldn't! There had to be a reasonable explanation, and if Ami were there, she would know what it was. Usagi swallowed as a strong breeze rushed by, fluttering her hair. But she could never tell Ami that she had willingly kissed another guy. Worse, that she had liked it and felt something for him that rivaled her feelings for Mamoru.

A gentle hand touched her shoulder and she leaned back without a thought, feeling comfort flood into her. Averill put his arms around her and they stood together until a strong stab of guilt shot through her chest and she had to move away. Usagi took a deep gasp of cool air before spinning and facing him, pain in her eyes.

"What happened?" she demanded. Averill looked back at her silently and she felt a sudden urge to race back into his arms, but held her ground. She forced herself to look at him without flinching. Why wasn't he speaking?

"You tell me," he finally answered. Usagi's mouth felt unusually dry and she took a few seconds to collect her thoughts before opening her mouth.

"We kissed, and it was wrong," she told him, stressing the word.

Oh Mamo-chan, I'm so sorry…

"I know," Averill said softly, "and I apologize. I never should have kissed you."

"I'm not mad at you," she assured him. He looked so tragic in the moonlight that her heart went out to him, despite her better judgment. "I'm mad at myself. I could have stopped, but I didn't. And I…" she paused, unsure whether to go on, but when she saw the hurt he was trying to conceal in his green eyes, she knew she had to.

"I felt something for you," she concluded in a whisper. She couldn't put a name to that something, but his eyes lit up.

"Not just because I'm a great kisser, is it?" he asked with a smile, breaking the tension. Usagi grinned.

"Quite the ego you have there. But it wasn't that great. I've had better," she lied, almost positive he knew she wasn't telling the truth. "No. It wasn't that. I'm convinced now that there was something between us… once." Averill winced at the 'once' but didn't comment.

"That would explain my, uh… reaction," she finished, blushing at the memory of herself passionately telling him that she had never loved anyone else. And in that moment, it had been true…

But Mamoru. She loved him. Right?

"I have to go," she said before she could confuse herself any longer. "But I want to see you again. I want to know everything about the past. But we can't… you know."
Averill blushed. He knew.

"Of course," he agreed. "Let's meet somewhere else. How about Kazuo's Cafe in about a week to allow things to cool down?"

"Kazuo's Cafe?" she repeated, scrunching her face in confusion. "Never heard of it."

"Exactly. It's on the other side of town and we probably won't run into anyone you know." Usagi realized he knew she didn't want anyone to know about him and felt guilty.

"Averill, I'm sorry," she whispered.

"For what?"

"Everything. Good night." She started to move away, but as an afterthought, turned back and hugged him. It took all her will to move away from that embrace and let him go. "Good night," she whispered again as she backed up and hurried away.

A minute later she turned back, but he had vanished. As if he were an apparition rather than the solid boy she had kissed and professed love to only minutes before. As if he were some spark of her imagination, some hidden desire left buried for centuries. But she knew in her heart that he was as real as she.

0 0 0

A few days later, Makoto walked down the street and sighed. What a day. All her friends were busy, so she was wandering around by herself, hoping to find something interesting happening in town.

Unfortunately, nothing was.

With her peripheral vision, she spotted a laughing girl across the street with two friends and watched enviously until they faded from sight.

What a lucky girl, she thought bitterly. Her friends aren't too busy to spend time with her.

Makoto had called them all that morning and had not received a single positive response. Ami was studying, as usual, and Rei had too many chores to do at the temple. Minako had laughed when she picked up the phone, saying "no" without any reason at all, except that she didn't want to spend the day listening about Averill-with-the-green-eyes again. And Usagi had just wanted to be alone, which was unusual, but Makoto hadn't questioned her.

She passed the arcade and caught a glimpse of Motoki through the window. Her face brightened. If there was one person who could cheer her up, it was Motoki. She entered the arcade and heard the little 'ding' announcing her arrival. Motoki looked up from his broom and smiled.

"Hey! Haven't seen you in a while," he acknowledged with a wink. "You didn't grow too old for video games, did you?"

"Of course not," she said with a grin.

"Well, the games have missed you. Take your pick," Motoki said and returned to sweeping the floor. Makoto turned away. She had been hoping for more of a conversation with him, but obviously Motoki was busy, too.

She headed to her old favorite, the familiar Sailor V game, and felt a stab of amusement. She had always liked guiding her friend across the screen. Sliding into the seat, Makoto slipped some change into the machine and took hold of the controls.

She was so absorbed in the game that she didn't notice when someone sat at the machine next to her and started playing. She didn't see when that someone lost three games in a row in about thirty seconds, and took to watching her play, instead.

And that was why Makoto was so startled when she heard a voice addressing her. "You're not half bad."

Makoto jumped, and as a result lost hold of the controls, allowing the monster to zap Sailor V into oblivion. "Aagh! Stupid machine!" she cried, slamming a fist into it.

"Stop! You'll break it!" Motoki called nervously from the doorway. Makoto shrugged at him before turning to glare at the laughing stranger.

"Thank you very much!" she yelled. "I was about to reach the high score!" The laughter increased and she narrowed her eyes at the culprit. The stranger was male and blond, scoring pretty high in the good looks category, but she was almost too angry to notice. Almost.

Makoto blushed as he stopped laughing and looked at her strangely. "Don't yell at me," he said crossly. "You're the one who lost."

"Well…" Makoto struggled to think of a comeback. "You distracted me!"

"Distracted you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Makoto felt her face grow hotter as he gave her a thorough once over. "I gave you a compliment, and you call it a distraction?"

Makoto was unsure of how to answer. "Uh, yes!"

"Well, then," he said, standing with fluid ease. "I'd just be wasting my time asking for pointers." Makoto was sure even the tips of her toes were red as he walked away. Impulsively, she stood and hurried after him.

"Wait!" she cried and stopped when he did. "I'm sorry. I just… well, I'm sorry." He glanced at her over his shoulder.

"Accepted. So, are you going to give me a lesson, or not?" Makoto nodded and he started towards her. "I like to know the names of my teachers," he added with another grin.

"Oh! Sorry… I'm Kino Makoto. And you?" He strode right past her open hand and sat down at the Sailor V game.

"Kai," he said curtly. Makoto blinked,

"Just Kai?"

"Why not?" Makoto sighed and went to stand beside him.

"So, uh… Kai-san. Where are you from? Do you live in Tokyo?"

"No. I'm from far away," he said, looking up, amusement in his eyes. Makoto would have liked more information, but when he didn't offer any, she shrugged and started with the lessons.

"Okay, have you ever played this game before?" she asked, kneeling beside him. Kai didn't appear to be listening. He was staring at the screen, which blinked several images of Sailor V striking poses.

"This Sailor V," he said in an odd voice. "Does she work with Sailormoon?"

"Huh?" Makoto could feel herself blushing, but for a different reason. "Uh, yes, but she goes by Sailorvenus now. Have you heard of Sailorjupiter?" she asked, wondering what his reply would be.

Not very complimentary, unfortunately. Kai looked at her and answered rather blandly, "No."

Ouch, Makoto thought. That's nice. She noticed Kai studying her and felt an unexpected flutter in her chest. Weird guy, but he sure is cute!

"Well," she said quickly, to get her mind off Kai's cuteness, "let's see what you can do." Kai slipped a coin into the machine and started pounding without strategy or mercy on the keys. Sailor V was dead in a matter of seconds.

"Uh, okay," Makoto said, sweat-dropping. This is going to take more work than I thought…

"Have you ever played video games before?" she blurted before she could stop herself. Luckily, Kai didn't seem offended.

"No," he said. "I don't have time in my line of work."

"Oh? What's that?" she asked, but he glared at her, offended by her innocent question.

"None of your business," he said bitterly. "I'm here to learn how to play video games, not play twenty questions."

"Fine, then," she said, feeling a stab of irritation. "Do you know what these controls are for?" At his helpless look, she sighed and patiently explained what each control and button did.

"Here, watch…" Makoto played a round in demonstration, and when she finished, she was surprised to find that Kai was staring at her instead of the screen. The butterflies emerged from the cocoon in her stomach.

"You're very pretty," he said casually.

"What!" Makoto cried, unsure if he was genuine or if he was just trying to unnerve her. "Uh, thanks! Here, you try!" She allowed herself to blush as he turned to the screen.

What a strange guy…

"No, no! Not like that!" she cried in frustration as he began hitting the keys again with no clear method. What happened next was something Makoto would look back on as a blur, for everything happened so fast that it was hard to get a grasp on what really occurred.

She covered his hands with hers and guided them to the controls, and without knowing why, she suddenly grew very dizzy. His skin released warmth where she touched and she felt a strong buzzing in her head. It was like being sucked into a black hole, and in a sudden burst of light, she saw a vision.

People were all around her, laughing and dancing. She pushed her way through the crowd, long green dress sweeping the floor. And then her gaze found itself locked with two violet eyes and the world seemed to spin…

Makoto jerked her hands from his and blinked rapidly as the picture dissolved and she found herself back in the arcade. Breathing heavily, she glanced at Kai and found him staring at her in accusation, blaming her for something. Whether he'd seen or felt anything, Makoto didn't know, but he definitely seemed disturbed.

For a moment, time stopped as they looked at each other. I know you, she thought suddenly, and you know me. You're not what you appear to be. Who are you? Makoto felt herself falling down a dark vortex with no end…

…until he turned away and she found her ground. "Look what you did!" he cried, glaring at the screen. "You made me die! I was doing fine until you grabbed me and made me lose!"

"What?" She brought a hand to her forehead. "I didn't do anything! You…" Makoto trailed off. He what? She didn't know. Had something really happened, or was she going crazy?

"Sorry," she mumbled. "Try again."

She took a deep breath and tried to slow her heart as she leaned closer to the screen, very careful not to touch him. Kai took the controls, and in a shaky voice, she guided him through the level.

By the time he had cleared three levels and had five lives to go, Makoto and Kai were laughing and talking like best friends, the "incident" completely forgotten. Makoto was still cautious about touching him, but she felt at ease in his presence, relaxed, as if they'd always been friends.

"Okay," she said. "You have to beat this bad guy and uncover the stolen jewels, and then…" Kai's eyes suddenly grew wide and he dropped the controls, gripping his head with a moan. Makoto's mouth fell open in surprise. She wanted to help, but was very reluctant to touch him.

"Kai-san! Are you okay?" Warily, she reached out a hand, but he waved her away.

"Sure," he muttered, and dropped his hands into his lap. "Migraines. I'll be okay. Listen, I have to go. Thanks for the lesson."

As he stood and walked away, Makoto felt herself thinking, And that's it? Everything that had happened, and he was going to walk away from her, presumably never to meet again?

Kai apparently was thinking the same thing, for he turned and flashed a smile, purple eyes sparkling. "Meet me here tomorrow at the same time? I could still use a few pointers."

Makoto felt her mouth spreading into a warm smile. "Of course. Goodbye, Kai-san." Makoto never knew how long she stood staring after him in the empty doorway until Motoki came over and broke the spell.

"You two hit it off. New friend?" he teased. Makoto grinned as she realized how much she was looking forward to the next day.

"I hope so."

0 0 0

No matter how she tried to stop it, Usagi was becoming increasingly annoyed with Mamoru. Whenever she was with him, she found herself noticing little things that had never bothered her before but now screamed clear. He had certain annoying habits that popped out like claps of thunder.

Usagi dipped a spoon into her milk shake and swirled it around. She gathered some onto the curved surface and watched as it slopped back into the glass. Clearly, she had more intentions of playing than drinking.

Mamoru cleared his throat. "Not hungry?" Usagi sighed. She hadn't wanted to come when he suggested they go out for milk shakes, but he had showed up in person to ask, and she had no real reason to refuse, so she went.

No reason that she could tell him, anyway. The truth was that she couldn't stop thinking about Averill and what had happened a week before. She was guilty enough as it was, and sitting across from him and his quiet searching eyes made it worse. It wasn't so bad when Nick had been with them, but he had left fifteen minutes earlier with a sly wink and words about a previous engagement.

She shifted her position once again and took a sudden interest in her paper napkin. What was he thinking? Usagi was terrified that if she spoke or even looked him in the eyes too long he would guess what had happened. Of course, there was no way he could possibly know, but that didn't stop her from shaking inside.

"What have you been doing lately?" he asked. Usagi froze and her eyes swept over his face, relieved to see that it was casual rather than accusatory.

"Oh… not much. Just hanging around," she answered carefully. Mamoru frowned at her lack of emotion at everything he had said that afternoon, but seemed to shrug it off as moodiness.

"I helped Nick move in last night," he offered. "Even though his idea of me helping was that I do all the work while he lounged on the couch and watched T.V." Usagi smiled, clearly envisioning Nick sprawled on his back, casually lifting an arm and directing a panting Mamoru, who was pulling seven or eight large suitcases into the apartment.

"So, you're really going to let him stay with you?"

"Yeah. I converted my storage room into a bedroom for him. I try to say it's my decision, but really I never had a choice. Nick has a way with people. I wouldn't have been able to refuse if he suggested he take over the apartment and I go live on the streets."

Usagi laughed, picturing that, but once amusement wore off, she sighed again. She might as well be out with her friends. Then she wouldn't be so bored. For some reason, it suddenly bothered her how Mamoru seldom talked. Except to make some teasing, bordering on the edge of rude, comment about her appearance or to casually make small talk. Had he ever given her a compliment about something other than how well she zapped the Enemies? Had he ever come out and said he enjoyed her company?

Talk to me, she urged. Say something… anything. Don't sit there and pay more attention to your milk shake than me. How do I look? Do you really want to be here, or did you invite me because you thought you needed to fill the "good boyfriend" role? Would you rather I had long, dark hair and pastel blue eyes?

Do you want me at all anymore?

She thought about what Averill would be saying if he were sitting across from her. Averill would tell her how her hair looked and offer a thousand other compliments. He seemed the type to devote himself completely to the one he loved, and she didn't doubt that he'd worship every blade of grass crushed from his love's feet. Averill was romantic. He would give her flowers, not bring her to a restaurant for shakes and then sit across from her, humming to himself, hardly saying a word. She had never minded until now.

Oh, what was the use comparing Averill to Mamoru? There was no comparison. For being brothers, they were very different. Mamoru took her love for granted, never telling her how he felt, letting her do all the work. He seemed to assume that she knew his feelings and never said the words. Averill, on the other hand, would remind her every day how special she was. She had seen it in his eyes, and she knew he wouldn't be shy about voicing his opinion. She didn't wonder how she knew this; she just knew it was right. Some part of her knew.

But there were so many things she didn't know. She had thousands of questions to ask when she met him that night. If she had her way, Averill wouldn't be leaving her until daybreak.

She cast a glance out the window and noticed with dismay that sunset was starting and the sky was darkening. Averill had never specified what time he wanted to meet her… whether at twilight or midnight. But she needed to leave soon, since she didn't know where the restaurant was.

"It's getting dark," she announced, and Mamoru was stunned out of his reverie. She wasn't the only one doing deep thinking that night. Usagi watched him silently. She supposed she needed to tell Averill about his brother's existence, but felt a strange reluctance to do so. She would eventually… just not yet.

"Okay," Mamoru agreed, a delayed reaction. He stood and walked away, expecting her to follow. Usagi added it to her list of Annoying Mamoru Habits that she had been forming lately.

Once outside, Mamoru turned and faced her. "I'll walk you home," he informed her, not a suggestion. Usagi's head shot up. Not good. She had been planning to leave straight from the restaurant to Kazuo's Cafe, but there was no way she could without alarming him.

"I'm a big girl. I can find my way home," she said, flashing what she hoped was a charming smile.

Mamoru wasn't convinced. "I don't want you wandering around alone. Especially at night. What would you do if you ran into danger?"

"I can take care of myself," she argued. "I'm Eternal Sailormoon!" Mamoru cast a nervous glance around, for that last part had come out rather loud. He took hold of her arm and pulled her behind a bush.

"And how is Eternal Sailormoon going to fight without powers?" he demanded. "No arguments, I'm taking you home."

"You don't have powers either," Usagi reminded him grumpily, but he was already pulling her ahead. They walked along in silence and all Usagi could think about was meeting Averill. She hoped she wouldn't be late.

"This is my block. I don't think I'm going to be attacked in the next two minutes," she said ten minutes later.

"It's polite to walk you to the door," he responded immediately. Usagi felt like screaming. Who cared about politeness? She didn't. She just wanted to meet Averill.

Finally, after what seemed like three lifetimes, they reached her doorstep. "Goodnight, Usako," Mamoru said, and waited for her to say her bit.

"Uh, yeah… good night," she said quickly, leaving out the expected "Mamo-chan." and entered the house before he could say more. Unfortunately, Shingo was waiting for her in the front hall, leaning against the wall. He grinned when she came in.

"Who was that, baka Usagi? Your boyfriend?"

She didn't even feel like arguing. Had to get to Averill…

"I'm not sure…" she answered and hurried to the window. Damn! Mamoru was still there, staring at the door.

Come on! Leave already!

"Did you give him a good night kiss?" Shingo asked wickedly, popping up behind her, making loud smooching sounds. "Ooh! Kiss me my darling! I love you!"

"Shut up, Shingo-kun," she said crossly.

Come on Mamoru, I don't have all night!

Finally, he turned and walked away, shoulders rising and falling in a heavy sigh. For an instant, Usagi felt a discomforting feeling of sympathy, but it was soon washed away with her urgency to see Averill. She waited until he was halfway down the block before heading back to the door.

"Where are you going?" Shingo demanded. "Got some other boyfriend waiting? What will what's-his-face think?"

"Shingo-kun, please cover for me. I'm not sure what time I'll be back, but I need you to keep Mama and Papa from worrying. Please!" Shingo frowned at his big sister's urgency, and even more at her seriousness. Since when was Usagi ever serious? Whatever she was up to had to be important.

"Okay," he said, surprising himself. "What do you want me to do?"

"Can I trust you?" she asked, and he gave a hesitant nod. "Oh, I don't know. Say I'm spending the night at Hino Rei's temple."

"That's the excuse you used last time. They accepted it, but I didn't." Usagi cast a nervous glance out the window. It was getting dark fast.

"Okay, Mizuno Ami's then. Tell them that I'll be back early in the morning, so there's no need to call. Thanks, Shingo-kun, I owe you!" And with that, she raced for the door, leaving a very confused little brother behind her.

Usagi sped out the front door and abruptly stopped with a grimace. Mamoru was walking slowly and hadn't gained much distance while she was talking with Shingo. Casting a desperate look around, she followed with a sigh. They were going the same way, and she had no choice but to follow him. As long as she stayed far enough behind, it shouldn't be a problem.

She followed him as quietly as possible, praying he wouldn't turn and recognize her. But he walked at an even pace, head slightly bent. Again, Usagi felt that wave of emotion deep inside, but this time, it disappeared more quickly than before.

After what seemed like ages, Mamoru reached his apartment building. Usagi breathed a sigh of relief. Now she could meet Averill… but wait. Mamoru wasn't stopping. He wasn't even slowing down, and he passed it in a second. About two blocks later, he made a right turn and continued on his way.

Now this is interesting, Usagi thought. Where could dear Mamoru be heading at this time of night? And the question was, did she want to keep following him or simply head downtown as planned?

Curiosity overruled urgency, and she turned after him. Mamoru had gotten further ahead while she was deciding, so she quickened her pace. Some night bird screeched in the distance and Usagi wrapped her arms around herself for comfort. One part of her wanted to race ahead and demand where he was going, but another part, the stronger, decided it would be better to follow in secret.

She shivered as the night air became cooler. Why was she doing this? She needed to meet Averill. Wherever Mamoru was going was probably perfectly innocent. She had a sudden image of Mamoru meeting up with a street gang and had to force down a giggle. Simply ridiculous.

Mamoru was stopping now, and turned towards another apartment building. Usagi froze and hurried off the sidewalk as he walked up the steps. What if he noticed her from the corner of his eye? She moved behind the hedges lining the sidewalk and made her way forward.

Mamoru was talking into the intercom and she heard a reply, but couldn't distinguish the gender through the static. Usagi crept closer until she was pressed against the side of the building, head lifted upward. Now she was really curious.

The door opened and light footsteps crept out. Mamoru gave a greeting and a light female voice replied. Usagi held her breath and strained to hear over the pounding of her heart.

"I'm so glad you came," the mysterious voice said and cracked at the end. "I've missed you."

Usagi bit her lip when she heard Mamoru reply, "I've missed you too, Kina-chan. How have you been?"

"Better now that you're here,"" the sweet voice said and Usagi echoed the words mockingly under her breath. "Mamo-kun…" the voice started and trailed off. Usagi heard the rustling of fabric. She cautiously poked her head over the railing to see Mamoru holding the girl in a deep embrace, talking to her quietly.

Usagi had a sudden urge to race up there, tear them apart and demand what was going on. But somehow, she thought that if she stayed quiet a little longer, all would be revealed.

She was right. Usagi ducked out of view as they pulled apart, but had time to see the girl's face. Breath catching, Usagi realized that it was the girl she had been seeing him with. The girl he wouldn't tell her about.

So what's the secret? she thought, silently willing them to talk.

The girl, Kina, was speaking again. "Have you told her, yet?" Usagi's blood ran cold; she had a pretty good idea who this 'her'' was.

"No. I… I just can't. She wouldn't understand. You don't know her like I do," Mamoru said hesitantly. "But I think she knows something. She was acting strange when I saw her today. Stranger than usual."

Gee, thanks, Usagi thought bitterly. Always good to hear your high opinion of me.

"She has a right to know," Kina said. "She sounds like a sweet kid." Sweet kid? Usagi wanted to show that girl just how sweet a kid she was when she got her hands on her…

"I will… eventually. But she doesn't need to know. Not now. Have you told him?" Aha. Usagi leaned closer. This was getting more interesting by the second.

"Are you kidding?" Kina replied with a laugh. "Talk about not understanding. He's all I have."

"You have me," Mamoru said seriously. "And you'll never lose me." Usagi had a sudden urge to gag.

"I know, Mamo-kun," she whispered, "and you'll always have me."

"Please, Kina-chan… come with me. Leave him behind. It can't be any worse. I would never hurt you."

"I know you wouldn't," the girl admitted, "but I can't. It's complicated. Oh, Mamo-kun… what are we going to do?"

"I don't know," he answered and Usagi could imagine him stroking her long dark hair back from her pretty blue eyes. "Just know that I love you and I'll always be here if you need me."

At his earnest words, Usagi froze and was sure her heart stopped beating for several seconds. Of everything that had been said, nothing sunk in until Mamoru said he loved the other girl. Usagi was so stung that she barely realized when Kina repeated the same.

Her vision flew in and out of focus so badly that she leaned against the building and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. A tear worked its way from the corner of her eye to travel down her cheek. Oh, Mamo-chan, how could you?

And then without warning, her heartbreak was washed away by a new emotion. Such a strong one that she had never felt before, even for all the Enemies she had fought over the years. For all the misguided demons, she'd felt a strange pity. For the two lovers on the steps of the apartment building, it was Hate. She hated Kina and worse, she hated Mamoru. She stepped away and hurried around the back, not wanting to hear more.

She supposed she should thank Kina. Without her, she would have never discovered what a lying cheater Mamo-chan was, and she would have lived a long and unhappy life with him. Setsuna's words came back to her - be strong even after heartbreak. Well, she would be strong. She was going to trust her heart, and her heart was telling her to find Averill, her first love, her only.

Usagi angrily wiped tears away and walked down the dark street. Who needed Mamoru? Kina was doing her a favor. But even through her angry thoughts, there was a sinking in her stomach, buried almost too deep to notice.

I should have known… ever since I saw him that day… why couldn't I see through him?

But there was no need to worry about the past. Usagi was going to grasp her future. And that future was Averill. He still loved her, no doubt. She had seen it in his eyes, in the way he held her… but he was too afraid of hurting her to say it. Usagi felt a rush of warmth for him, warmth she had always felt for Mamoru.

She was going to tell him… tell him everything. If only she could find him.